Setting the ZSC Record Straight
We in the Command Center decided to show you our New Year’s resolutions for when the Zombiepocalypse happens this coming year . . . or so. It could happen, people! Did you not read that Cracked.com story? Frightening stuff and PROOF that it’s inevitable.
This year I will make an effort to clarify the differences between the undead and emo kids that wander around the mall.
In 2011 all of my swords will be sharpened and stay sharpened even after repeated use. (practice!)
I will lose 20 pounds this year. No wait, sorry; I will cut off 20 pounds of flesh from any zombies that may appear in 2011.
This year I will make an effort to go to the gym, because I hear that steroids may be one of the causes of the zombie virus. (Aside from licking bathroom doors… Juliette?)
Take every stinkin’ turncoat out there who thought the pink horns was a funny idea and string ’em up as zombie bait.
Identify system to better vet crew members to help pinpoint those who are only in it to make an attempt on gaining possession of the crossbow.
Get “Cold, Dead Hands” added to tattoo of crossbow on lower back.
Recruit rapid response team of trusted ZSC members to protect the crossbow from @DarylTWD
I resolve to have a plan—detailed—to escape the shambling hordes that I hope won’t involve my being trapped in any structure, such as a mall, with a bah-jillion zombies surrounding it. *shudders at Dawn of the Dead image*
To spend more time on target practice and note that it is still illegal to shoot people for being stupid—but not for long. Thus, I resolve to learn how to use the compound bow sitting in the corner collecting dust. Oh, and I need arrows. —>
To focus, focus, focus on the job ahead as co-captain and to keep as many as possible safe from the walking dead. However, if you are bitten, I’ll shoot you before you’re dead. Hey, I intend to blow my own head off if one bites me. Lead by example, right?
To build a Zombie Farm detector so we can pinpoint them and eradicate the farms with zombie seeking missiles, thereby reducing the chance of becoming infected with the zombie virus. And while we’re at it, why don’t we take out Farmville at the same time.
Develop a serum which allows ZSC members to infiltrate zombie camps undetected for intelligence gathering.
Perfect my crossbow deflection shield for times when I irk our numero uno fearless leader (’cause let’s face it – it will happen on a regular basis)
So tell us a few of your resolutions in the comments below!