Withdrawals like a Walker’s Bite

Withdrawals like a Walker’s Bite

by RC Murphy

Yes, I am well aware that it’s only been a little over a week since the season two finale of The Walking Dead aired. However, that does not change the fact that I sat down in front of my television this past Sunday and whimpered, hoping by some miracle that they managed to write, film, and run the premiere of season three through post-production in a week. No such luck.

So to pass the time, I took a look back through my review notes. These are all from the hand written notes that I took while watching TWD. They reflect, sometimes a little too honestly, my reactions to what’s happening on the screen as it happens.

But, uhm… the zombie bunnies ate the notes from episodes one and two, so we’ll pick up with a couple favorites from episode three.

Episode three:

  • “The only warning I got before watching was from Mom, ‘When Daryl is the sane one, you know things got bad.’” (Yes, my mother is a fan of the show.)
  • “Glenn can’t be a sidekick when the wannabe hero has his head wedged and the actual hero is beyond needing his help.”

Episode four:

  • “Where is God, hidden in the rotting face of a walker?”
  • “Glenn bait! He’s growing into a hero/walker roper!”

Episode five:

  • “Glenn needs wooing lessons. Maybe he can ask Shane, apparently women’s underwear melt around him.”
  • “Daryl’s subconscious kicked up… Merle?”

Episode six:

  • “Let me play poker against Glenn. Cha-ching!”
  • “Andrea and Shane are going to shoot each other… (Scene change) or not. Wow.”

Episode seven:

  • Oops… Apparently episode seven didn’t produce anything amusing note-wise. This may be because I spent all my time yelling at the television and not writing.

Episode eight:

  • “Go Maggie! Slap Shane again!”
  • “Do not trust new people… Holy s— Rick!”

Episode nine:

  • “Rick, honor will get your a– full of buckshot!”
  • “Do not scare my (yes, I wrote a typo) by trying to shoot Glenn!”
  • “Andrea drank Shane’s Flavor-Aid”
  • “Look at big girl Lori using her words…”

Episode ten:

  • “What the heck?” (That one was repeated a few times…)
  • “Meat shield!”

Episode eleven:

  • “Daryl—master of the art of torture.”
  • “Too close, Carl. [censored]!”
  • “Oh my God, Dale!” (After that the notes are gibberish)

Episode twelve:

  • “Yes, Andrea, baby-sit the psychopath.”
  • “Hey, T-Dog can talk. Wow.”
  • The rest is variations of yelling at Shane. None of which I can print here due to language.

Episode thirteen:

  • “Yeah Rick, because the barn is totally walker-proof…”
  • “I ain’t riding with T-Dog. Crazy driver!”
  • “Aww… whatshisname died.”
  • “Jesus promised zombies. Neat!”
  • “What the heck? Pet zombies with ninja slayer?”

 

As you can see, I have a lot of fun while watching amidst all of the really tense, biting-my-fingernails-off moments. Did any of you have moments while watching where you unleashed your inner smart aleck at the television screen? Share your witty commentary below in the comments.