5 AM in a bus terminal is somewhat like waking up to find yourself smack dab in the middle of the Zombiepocalypse. Rick Grimes, I sympathize with your plight. A handful of fellow travelers wandered into the station, bleary-eyed and looking more zombie than human. Heaven help me, I’ve waited with bated breath to hear them speak. Pretty sure the security guard wouldn’t have been too happy if I used one of the line posts to knock someone’s skull inside out.
Plus, it definitely wouldn’t be the ideal way to start my day. Just sayin’.
I learned my lesson after my last ZSC trip when I went to Dallas Comic Con. Suspect everyone. Has that guy across the way been watching as I report in to Juliette? The woman two seats down seemed awfully interested in what I’m writing… I should put my notebook away before anyone passing by reads. My cover cannot be compromised on this trip!
Noon in Los Angeles. The bus terminal was as busy as I’ve ever seen it. Contrary to what most would think, this is a good thing. I used the crowd to move around unseen by anyone that could be tracking me. It also bought me fifteen minutes to grab lunch. Actually, the salad ended up being breakfast. The ritual of eating poorly or rather, forgetting to eat at all during a con weekend began early.
Around 6 PM my fellow passengers on the bus got really talkative. The guys behind me leaned over and asked that question I dread, “So, where are you heading to?” Me being me, I tell them the truth. Don’t ask me why when I know the UGA could be after me. They’ve been too quiet. I don’t trust quiet . . . . Anyway, I told those around me about the ZSC and what we do. They ended up asking me questions until we arrived in Phoenix where an Amazon—the ZSC’s very own Jinxie G—rescued me.
Thursday:
Jinxie and I went to pick up the rental car. Due to complications, most of Thursday morning and afternoon have been censored . . . .
With Plan B fully checked out, we hit the road four hours behind schedule and with more than a few reservations about the new plan. That was until Jinxie pulled her wallet out to pay for something; a fortune she’d collected at a previous con a few months ago dangled off the bottom:
We took it as a sign to take the risk. Our nerves settled with some laughs and a ton of snarky commentary about bad cell phone reception in the desert, “Can you hear me now? No. You can’t. Because you didn’t drive into the middle of the desert to test your signal!”
The drive was fun, uneventful. We got within two hours of Albuquerque and decided to make a pit stop in what was probably the coldest city in New Mexico! Grants. Eleven degrees, snow on the ground, and Jinxie is wearing flip-flops. Though she did have toe socks on. In the minute it took to run inside the store, we froze. Two people who live in hot climates Do Not Do temperatures under thirty.
Don’t fret; we arrived at Cody and Alfred’s house in Albuquerque before becoming human Popcicles. Juliette arrived earlier that evening. The chaos was already underway as we shivered our way officially into the convention weekend.
Monday-the trip back to AZ:
No one will believe me if I say this, but Jinxie and I were up and on the road by about 10 AM. Shocking, right? Yeah, we didn’t believe it either. Of course, our main motivation ended up being hunting down coffee. But, hey, I won’t argue an early start. And it was a good thing we left early…
The mountain pass that we’d driven through just fine on Thursday transformed into a winter wonderland while we were at the con. We’re not talking a light dusting of snow. Oh no, it’d dropped a good three inches of snow with more coming down as we drove.
Did I mention that we drove THROUGH a cloud, as well? Yeah . . . that was special.
Eventually we started heading back down the mountain. Just like that the snow disappeared. There’s no UGA plot to blame for the random snowstorm, though I’m pretty sure some of the idiots passing us while we carefully drove over the mountain were UGA agents. Or suicidal . . . .
The rest of the trip back became a sightseeing fest since the sun set before I could see anything cool on our way to Albuquerque. By sightseeing I mean Jinxie would point out across the desert and say, “There’s a abandoned mine that way that’s good for disposing bodies and stolen cars. If you look down it in, you can see the pile of cars.” My reaction? Make a note of the location in case I’m in Arizona during the Zombiepocalypse. A girl can never have too many places to get rid of reeking zombie remains.
Tuesday and back to CA:
Very early that morning (by early, I mean before noon, accompanied by death glares from Jinxie), we headed to the bus station. This is the same bus station where last May I observed news reports covering the CDC’s post about preparing for the zombie outbreak. It is also where I determined that bus stations are the worse place to be trapped in when zombies shamble from their graves.
I said my goodbyes to Jinxie and took a moment to regroup. Traveling with a co-commander I can trust is far different than a busload of strangers. One particular stranger kept telling everyone to call him by a different name. I kept my eye on him until I switched buses halfway home.
The remainder of the ride back home was mostly uneventful with only one near miss. I almost disposed of a man after he sat behind me for hours making the most disgusting noises, noises I’ve come to associate with those that have become infected and are in the process of turning into a zombie. The smell didn’t help matters. It wasn’t until he started talking (loudly, I might add) that I stopped thinking about doing my duty as a ZSC commander… and started wishing I could dispose of him simply for being gross and annoying. What? I never claimed to be NICE after a week of travel and convention stress!
I made it home safe, sound, and without blood on my clothes. Another successful Zombie Survival Crew mission.
We in Zombie Survival Crew Command are always supportive of the projects and causes of those on the crew. Today, we bring your attention to an independent movie that two of our command crew happen to be working on.
Our Li’l Gangsta Anthony Guajardo and Second Lieutenant Viviana Chavez have a new project on the horizon and they’re looking to raise donations to help fund it!
The Story:
It’s October 2001 and Andrew is a high school senior who has been in the care of his step-grandmother Stella for the better part of his life. He has no job, no friends, no girlfriend, no car and no money. Over the course of his life he has developed an anti-social personality largely in part to his Grandmother’s strict household and religious beliefs. Andrew has found an outlet in music and a girl he has a crush on named Rose. Our story takes place over the course of several days when Andrew’s routine life comes to a head.
I told y’all the zombiepocalypse was coming soon! Now we have zombies living every day normal lives in music videos! *twitches*
My friend Jimmy Joyce and I have spent a few nights talking until sunrise because he’s cool like that, and it usually happens after a show I’ve gone to watch. We all know Jinxie is nocturnal, but hey, that’s when the zombies are active, people. Jimmy is in a few bands, and I mean like four or five…or I could just be thinking of Michael Mahoney’s multiple-band status, but whatever. The two of them are in Money Shot together, which is the cover band I tend to see.
Terrible People is one of Jimmy’s other bands, and I thought I’d share this awesome video with you. This is their song “Bill Murray” and it’s pretty damn good, if you ask me.
And for all you zombies out there? You even have your own Facebook-type site to mingle on, which you saw in the video. Zombiebook.org. Check it out. It’s run by Jay Zombie. Of course I’m a member. Someone has to keep an eye on the zombies over there!
As I was sitting in the Phoenix bus terminal during my trip to Dallas Comic Con, I began to realize something was… off.
My trip began right on the heels of the CDC releasing their Zombie Apocalypse survival guide on their blog. Little did I know exactly how influential this thing would be. Every single TV I passed from my home base to Dallas covered the CDC’s guide. People on the bus, once they saw my zombie-centric handbag, began grilling me about it. And after I told them about the ZSC? Forget about it. I spent nearly 2 days solid neck deep in zombie talk.
About 12 hours into the trip, I began to observe my traveling companions. It was a huge risk exposing myself as a commander with the Zombie Survival Crew in a situation where I could not escape anyone that turned on me. There were some folks that made me wish I had my sword on the bus. They shuffled around with no apparent destination. Their eyes were glassy, blank. No one home in there. And, ugh, they reeked. I’ve been lucky enough to never catch a whiff of the unholy B.O. of a walker, but I’m sure this had to be it.
So there I was, sitting in a bus terminal waiting while the bus gassed up… surrounded by potential zombies.
The thought forced me to take in our surroundings. How secure is a bus terminal? About as secure as a cereal box. There are more doors and windows in a typical station than solid walls. Survivors would eat up all their wood resources covering access points, leaving nothing to burn on cold nights or to cook with. On top of that, they layout itself is far too open. If a firefight were to break out, I’d have a deli counter or one of three concrete pillars to hide behind. Food supplies are laughable. Sure, most stations have a restaurant, but its all frozen food stuffs. Once the power goes out, that food will not last long. Nor will it tide over the size of crowd that could be trapped inside.
And gods forbid if the Zombiepocalypse should happen while we’re on the road. We’d become a veritable moveable feast! There is no storage for food. Space on a bus is non-existent, almost laughable. Sure, the bus can outrun a horde of zombies looking for a midnight snack, but eventually it’d run out of gas. A Greyhound bus isn’t exactly Dead Reckoning (Land of the Dead 2005). Once it is out of gas, the one secure element is gone and zombies have a huge can of human sardines to dig into.
Sleep deprivation is a huge problem associated with traveling by bus. At one point I was so out of it I swear I saw a demon crawl out of a box strapped on the back of a semi-truck and into the cab to attack the driver. A hallucination like that, even in someone like myself that is highly trained to handle the unknown, is really dangerous. The lack of sleep also made me really chatty.
Wait a minute…
It wasn’t until after I’d missed one night of sleep that people started to get awfully chatty with me on the bus. Some of the passengers got on at my home base. Those were the very same to begin questioning me about why I was on a mission to Dallas, TX. The connection never made sense until now. My travel itinerary was compromised, information had to of been given to our enemies.
What would happen if an alien force invaded Earth? If Battle: Los Angeles is even 75% correct, put me out of my misery before they get further than the beach.
As far as film openings go, typically war footage gets some yawns and expectant foot tapping. However, given the conflicts and recent disasters the audience was rapt. Silent. Dare I even say, thoughtful? This film comes about at a very strange time in the world’s history and hands us a look at war on the home front.
Right away, we’re driven to like the platoon of marines. They are funny, and I’m not saying this because ZSC’s own Neil Brown Jr. delivered some of the most amusing lines. The cast they put together for the film is astounding. Their performances make Battle: Los Angeles work. Without an emotional connection to the characters it’s just another alien shoot-em-up movie.
The most difficult parts of the film aren’t scenes where they show civilian casualties, though they are striking. No, what caught me was moments where, alongside the marines, we see the full scope of the damage to the city unfold. It became a macabre beauty of sorts painted in fire and smoke. Landscapes most city dwellers take for granted are leveled in no time at all.
During combat scenes the audience is put in the middle of the action. They’re “grab you by the gonads” intense, but a little confusing. The pacing of the movie hits hard then backs off to allow us to regroup and figure out what the heck just happened. It literally became an edge of your seat watch for us.
Battle: Los Angeles works hard to show how combat can mess with a person’s head. There are moments when we forgot the aliens outside because the marines dive so deep into their own issues. Only once did I feel the attention to their mental plight took from the movie itself. However, with the way the film is shot the audience gets a really good grasp of what happens to people during war. It’s not all physical damage out on the battlefield.
Holy S#!% moments that ZSC members should look out for in order to learn new battle techniques? How to quickly discover the enemy’s weakness. A unique way to dispatch a rather large enemy combatant. (A technique this commander will utilize should I ever be surrounded by zombies) Oh and what happens when a tough as nails female is injured.
There are three things captured on film that frighten yours truly; Samara from The Ring, Pennywise the clown from It, and the kid from Pet Sematary. (Notice how two of those are from Stephen King? He’s terrifying.) So know this, ZSC faithful, your commanders will suffer unspeakable horrors to bring you information about the pending Zombiepocalypse.
Today we’re looking at the film Pet Sematary to learn more about how zombies are created, controlled, and dispatched. Genre purists are probably rolling their eyes as they read, but even we admit that it is a zombie movie. The dead come back to life and exhibit all of the signs we watch for in order to identify the first wave of zombie attacks.
A note before continuing, we’ve noticed a lot of the “predictions” put on film about the Zombiepocalypse have wonderful rural settings. Sure, in this film there’s a major flaw with truck traffic, but for the most part it is an ideal place to raise a family. Cute, serene, quiet… and totally without secure buildings to hide in when the dead rise. The ZSC would like to issue a warning to members living in rural areas; please be sure to have your escape routes planned and planned well.
In the film there are a couple false starts to the pending zombie problem. A jogger is brought in, brains leaking everywhere, and yet is still able to talk after dying. Put your weapons down, he is the resident ghost, not a walker. But don’t get too comfortable; the ghost knows way too much about whatever it is that creates the zombies.
The kindly old man, Judd, also knows about the potential for zombies. “Do you know what a graveyard is? … A place where the dead speak.” Only, in their neck of the woods the dead tend to forget they’re actually dead. One saving grace; the trek to the stretch of land that spits out zombies like a baseball player spits sunflower seeds is extremely dangerous. The downside; most of the locals know about the burial ground and the strange power it possesses. If an epidemic hit the area, how many would risk the danger to bring back their family?
That’s the truly dangerous part of the cursed Indian burial ground. It isn’t so much the power within the ground, but the potential for mass armies of the undead to be created by people who think they are doing the right thing. When dealing with grief, one simply does not stop to think of the repercussions. It certainly didn’t stop Louis after the family cat came back acting not quite right. The thing was half mad and smelled like a corpse. Zombie Cat, dude.
The land encompassing the Indian burial ground is said to have “gone sour”. Some religions believe that in order for the dead to rest peacefully the ground has to be blessed. Consecrated graveyards are not immune from zombies, but they aren’t pitching them out like this place. Other forces are at play, possibly connected to the beliefs of the dead originally buried in that place. We never learn exactly why the dead simply get up and walk after being buried there, though.
Pet Sematary reminds us, yet again, that zombies are not the people they were when they died. These are not our friends, children, significant others, or pets. They are abominations. Walking corpses with one thing in mind, to destroy the living. We do not know why they come back this way. In the movie, it could be some sort of magic gone wrong. These undead are highly intelligent and utilize weapons like a living person. Luckily they can be easily dispatched, but that may not be enough to save the living if the magic in the burial ground is abused and an army is raised. We need to be prepared on the off chance places like this exist, guys. Check your go bags.
Outtakes (R.C. took notes while watching the film. Here are some highlights):
– Ooo, a kitty! Sorry, where was I?
– Dude, it took you 6 hours to dig a hole. Not Worth It.
– “Church smells bad.” Duh? Zombies stink!
– I love my crew. I love my crew… they must not hear me scream because of a zombie child.
The zombies have risen. Your friends, your family, everyone has been turned or is on the run to find a safe haven. Madness reigns on the streets. Death is on every corner. Miss Manners is probably chomping on little Billy from next door… Nevertheless, just because the world has gone to hell in a hand basket, that doesn’t mean you have to be rude. We’ve compiled a list of things you can do in order to not become “That guy (or gal)” during the Zombiepocalypse.
Hygiene – Soap will likely be in very short supply after the zombies rise. However, a dirty human and a dirty zombie start to look and smell the same after a couple of weeks without indoor plumbing and running water. A quick rinse-off and clothes wash might save your life. (See below)
Communication – There’ll be occasions when you run into someone who has not bathed, washed their clothing, or for some reason is covered in blood. We suggest trying to talk to anyone you might think may actually be a human. Killing the living is frowned upon in the Zombie Survival Crew, so please; communicate with others to avoid any unfortunate mishaps.
Call Your Shots – Ammunition in the Zombiepocalypse will be sparse. If you find yourself in a hunting group, call out which zombie you are aiming at. This way other members of your party can focus on the remaining undead shambling your way and no unnecessary shots are taken. Calling your shots ensures quick dispatch of the undead as well. You don’t want to linger too long in an infested area.
Sharing is Key – No; you haven’t been transported back to grade school. We believe that cooperation between the living will ensure that they remain healthy and without an uncontrollable desire to devour the flesh of their friends. So if you find yourself in possession of extra supplies, please do not hoard them. Share with your fellow man and in return they may give you something you are in need of. You never know when that extra bullet you gave away will be used to save your life.
Privacy – In most of the predictions we have witnessed of the coming zombie uprising, the living have been forced to live together in small communities. Sometimes several families find themselves sharing a house. Other times, as with The Walking Dead, the living are on the run and residing in tent cities. Nylon fabric doesn’t offer any privacy. It is up to you to turn an eye and allow your fellow human the idea of privacy when they are without. The Zombiepocalypse will expose us for what we really are, sometimes a moment without prying eyes is needed to regroup and maintain sanity.
Humor – A well-developed sense of humor will make the end of days easier to bear. We totally get that here at the ZSC. However, jokes need to be tempered to the situation. If your best friend was forced to put down his infected dog, that is not the moment to make an Old Yeller joke.
Don’t Toy With the Zombies – Remember, these creatures used to be your friends, neighbors, milkman, etc. Living people you knew and cared for before the undead rose. Please kill them humanely. Shooting off their arms and legs to watch them flail around is cruel! With most breeds of undead, a single shot to the head will suffice. Though, feel free to have a little fun should your mother-in-law join the shambling hordes. We’ll turn a blind eye just that once.
It is Valentine’s Day. Stow the groaning, folks. Trust me, when this assignment came across my desk I did the same thing. The hearts and candy routine really isn’t my thing. However, I found some disturbing Valentine’s coming into my mail box this week and felt you should be aware of the hidden dangers behind this holiday.
See, even zombies get lonely. They have a hard time holding on to significant others (once they gnaw their arms off…). Because of this lack of companionship, come Valentine’s Day zombies are pretty dang lonely. And hungry. Never forget how hungry a zombie can be.
So take our advice; grab your go bag. Valentine’s Day won’t be all stuffed animals and roses this year. The number of zombie sightings has increased tenfold this year. If you hear someone talking about candy hearts, they may actually be talking about candied hearts. Which are an undead delicacy.
Be safe. Be smart. And for goodness sake, if someone tries to give you a bunny don’t take it!
You’re walking down the street on your way to work, same as you do every day. A stranger steps out of a shop and walks towards you. Even though you try to move out of the way, they crash into you. After a few muttered apologies, they leave. Only then do you notice that your forearm is bleeding from a small cut and going numb. Within minutes that entire side of your body loses sensation. A little while later you are unable to control any of your movements.
You’ve been made into a zombie.
How can it be that easy, you ask? If you lived in Haiti, where Voodoo reigns supreme, there would be no question about the existence of zombies. However, unlike other “breeds” of zombie we have explored here at ZSC, zombies created by Voodoo are living, breathing humans.
Victims are dosed with a neurotoxin. There has been extensive debate about which neurotoxin is actually used during the zombie making process. In The Serpent and the Rainbow, victims were given a dose of tetrodotoxin powder. Tetrodotoxin is found in puffer fish and its history of being extremely lethal puts the legitimacy of these claims into question. But for the sake of simplicity, we’ll use it here.
The tetrodotoxin works into the nervous system and shuts it down. The victim’s breathing will become shallow. Their body is unresponsive to stimulation. While they cannot feel, move, or breathe properly, most victims remain fully aware of what is happening to them in this state of living death.
Treatment of tetrodotoxin involves maintaining the body until it processes the chemical. Most villages don’t have the means to put someone on life support, let alone the manpower and supplies to do so when that person may pass away anyway. Tetrodotoxin has no known antidote. Once the physician sees no visible signs of life, they declare the patient deceased. The victim then ends up buried alive.
In the cover of darkness the Bokor, or sorcerer, will venture to the graveyard to dig up the victim. At this time the newly made zombie is given a powerful hallucinogenic. Most believe the substance to be derived from the datura plant. Datura causes violent hallucinations and photophobia (extreme sensitivity to light). One dose will affect the victim for approximately 48 hours.
The heavy influence of the Voodoo religion in the region is the key element to the zombie creation process. If the victim survives exposure to the various chemical compounds at play, they should recover themselves and become normal within days. Believers that go through the process convince themselves, with influence from the Bokor, that they are actually a zombie. These zombies will continue to work under the bokor for years. It is only when family members see them that legitimacy of their “undead” condition comes into question.
Bokors are believed to be able to manipulate the zombi astral, the spirit of a person. What we call the soul. Those that practice dark arts (making zombies, curses, etc…) are said to capture souls inside jars. Some will sell the jars as charms. Others gather them. The more captured souls in their control, the more powerful the bokor. To go against a powerful bokor is begging to be “cursed”. That is why so many of these living zombies strive to believe their conditions and remain in service to the bokor.
If the family recovers their loved one, they won’t find much of that person left. Years of believing yourself dead and exposure to powerful hallucinogenic drugs warps the brain. Zombies without a bokor riding herd on them often end up in asylums. Those who aren’t discovered tend to haunt graveyards, as they feel closer to the dead than the living.
We here at the Zombie Survival Crew consider these zombies to be victims. That is unless they attempt to harm a crewmember. Unfortunately it is difficult to tell them apart from the other breeds. Keep in mind that newly claimed zombies of this type would appear sweaty. Their eye movements will be erratic, and though it will be difficult to tell, they are breathing. If you think they are the victim of a Voodoo spell, report the zombie but do not dispatch them.
Given the experiences of his cast-mates IronE Singleton and Anthony Guajardo – we would argue Steve Yeun is now undertaking the ultimate act of zombie-preparedness by agreeing to take on Zombie Survival Crew.
You have until midnight, EST time on Monday, January 10 to ask your questions.
ZSC Command will select the top 10 most original, intriguing questions for Steve to answer.
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Steve – from all of us on the #zombiesurvivalcrew – THANK YOU for doing this! We appreciate your willingness to engage with the fans like this! If you survive, you will have an honorary spot on Command’s rapid response team!
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A few ground rules:
You can ask all you want, but Steve’s a busy guy (and so are we) so let’s keep it concise please!
There are certain things he can’t reveal, so if you ask about Season 2 or future plans he may not be able to give a full answer.
Keep it clean and respectful! We will toss any questions we find offensive or vulgar.
You can ask your question here in the comment section or via email at zombiesurvivalcrew (at) gmail (dot) com.
We took it as a sign to take the risk. Our nerves settled with some laughs and a ton of snarky commentary about bad cell phone reception in the desert, “Can you hear me now? No. You can’t. Because you didn’t drive into the middle of the desert to test your signal!”
The mountain pass that we’d driven through just fine on Thursday transformed into a winter wonderland while we were at the con. We’re not talking a light dusting of snow. Oh no, it’d dropped a good three inches of snow with more coming down as we drove.
Did I mention that we drove THROUGH a cloud, as well? Yeah . . . that was special.
