Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Brain: Review for iZombie 407
Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Brain:
Review for iZombie 407
by A. Zombie
Oh! Watch out, there. This review has episode spoilers.
It’s no secret I detest scripts where Liv delves into the puddle-depth minds of A-class jerks. This episode is no exception, what with the constantly toying with the rape culture theme like it’s a new Axe body spray samples in a frat house. The plot is, as usual, heavy-handed with some of the messaging, on top of the PUA propaganda dropping straight from the lead actress’ mouth. Yes, it’s propaganda. Written by men who see women as things to possess or use, and then they have the gall to call themselves Pick Up Artists instead of what they are, pure trash. Seattle is a large city. It’s diverse. How on earth are we to believe there’s an epidemic of nothing but dumb white men dying in this place over the course of four years? Television gods, please save our hero from a life steeped in mediocrity.
Despite my dislike, it happens, so let’s see how Liv manages to further screw up her life by again living like a clueless white dude.
Said dude is named Max. Max is a PUA for hire, selling his services to dateless men hoping he will act as the ultimate wingman. Folks, he sucks at it, quite frankly. But, even though he’s boorish, insulting, and disregards his client in front of her, Max still finds a woman to take home for a good time. God grant me the success rate of awful men like this. Max kicks the bucket right after finishing his after-work activity. How on earth does a healthy man die without warning? Someone poisons—somewhat miraculously—only the inside of his condom. The suspect list is long, full of women used by Max in his great scheme to make himself look important. There’s no re
al suspects in the group, though one or two provide essential clues which prompt a vision for Liv—Max facing down a scared Fillmore-Graves agent named G. Marsh.
Chatting with the autocrat in charge won’t be comfortable, for anyone. Just about the entirety of Team Zombie has various rough encounters with Chase Graves this episode. Only one person will make it through this takeover with any actual power left, and that’s Graves’ new right-hand man, Major. Stationed above the other FG officers, Major gets handed delightful tasks like ending the brain tube smuggling ring via friendly infiltration and terrorizing a small-press newspaper. Even Peyton gets a metaphorical slap on the cheek from Chase when she and the mayor confront him about the armed men who shot up the newspaper office. Graves is so set in his plan, he’s going full T***p, claiming any reports of Fillmore-Graves misdeeds are “fake news.” Chase does manage to help Clive and Liv with their investigation, but relishes making them wait to talk to the recently-frozen Marsh.
New kinds of people in the world means new ways for men to abuse women, and of course this show points the spotlight right at it while forcing Liv to perpetuate the poor behavior. Before the deep freeze, Marsh hired Max and his technique worked. Marsh, being a piece of walking dog poo, didn’t tell the woman he hooked up with that night about being a zombie, then later asked Max to get on the stand during a Fillmore-Graves trial to claim the victim begged to be turned. You know, rhetoric straight from the rape culture handbook, and handled with the sensitivity of a bull in a china shop. Some detective work leads Clive and Liv to find the woman’s ID. Turns out she is in their group of disgruntled women in Max’s wake and cooked up a story to distance herself from her trauma, along with her new name. New things don’t change how much these men violated he
r. With Marsh frozen, she unleashed her anger on Max, using her job to create the perfect murder weapon for a womanizer. None of us are sorry she killed the guy, so this is just another chance for the writers to force awful ideas into Liv’s head.
Liv spends the episode simultaneously hitting on Levon and helping him plan for the next batch of newcomers over the New Seattle wall. They desperately need to secure ID cards for the incoming zombies, or a way to feed them, whichever is easier. They start at Brother Love’s church, where he miraculously provides for his flock. The meeting is a mess from the get-go, what with Angus’ new bigot pal oh, so ready to assume everyone’s a threat. Then there’s the whole whacky Ten Commandments for the undead, which somehow doesn’t convince them to run the second they read it. Angus’ reticence to disclose his brain source is alarm number three Levon and Liv overlook in the name of the greater good. It’s capped off by Angus uncomfortably flirting with Liv by praising her as a pure zombie specimen, like any good white supremacist would when trying to bring young women into the club as bait for others. The deal breaker is, oddly, Angus’ relationship with Blaine, and not the unwelcomed flirtation. Liv gladly finds a new way to proceed when Max’s murder case takes her and Clive to the office where all zombie paperwork is processed and held. The end of this scene is great. Clive knows something’s sketchy on Liv’s end, because he’s a good cop and friend. He just about tackles that security guard to help Liv steal the card-maker he doesn’t even know she took, he’s just following his gut, and his guy says his partner needs assistance.
If only Clive had as much insight into his relationship. Instead of talking to Dale, as he should have the second his jealously rose to cause a fit, he goes off of Liv’s word about what she saw and proceeds to go out on the town several times looking for a quick hook-up. Well, he finally just ends up contacting a professional to take care of his needs. Which flings all sorts of red flags in the air for Dale, since she hasn’t done more than make out with a few men after declaring their relationship open. Men, just talk to your ladies. Seriously. Eighty percent of romcom scenarios would never happen with open, honest communication.
Liv’s new criminal enterprise is at risk . . . thanks to a pair of headphones. Guess we’ll find out next time what Peyton thinks of her roommate, the human smuggler.
In the dead place, nothing works right. The doors lead to the wrong places. No one is in a chatting mood. Oh, and there’s a giant shadow demon which drags whoever it finds to the nether realm. Stunning animation on these bits, by the way. Any time the shadow demon is on screen, it’s simultaneously awesome and extremely stressful because it’s also trying to permanently kill a few characters we love. Yes, there’s Brandy. But we also have Kelly down there, along with Dalton, and even the Classic sits in the dead place, awaiting one last joyride with its owner. Ash eventually catches up with the others by walking through random doors until he hits the right place—which is such a statement about how he operates, it’s a metaphor for Ash’s entire life up to this point, honestly.
Which takes a while to open because, surprise, Pablo has to fight a deadite while he’s supposed to babysit Ash’s corpse. The fight itself isn’t much, but the death by paint shaker is a new addition to the murder arsenal, and a good one at that. Pablo’s new powers connect him to Ash via a fuzzy television channel, and he manages to reopen the rift without incident. It’s probably the only thing which goes one-hundred percent to plan, really.
Enter yet another doppelganger. Well, alright, so it’s the miniature one, but fully grown to resemble his sire. This particular doppelganger doesn’t tolerate unsavory behavior from partying teenagers. Bodies pile up fast in the school’s halls. By the time Ash finally enters the building, there’s no way he can clean up the mess left by the OtherAsh. Worse yet, anyone he meets in the hall assumes he’s the mad slasher. Including the police. Luckily for Ash, he brought backup. Kaya saves Ash from a trip to jail, but don’t assume she flipped loyalty. She’s only being nice because the police have no part in Ruby’s grand plan for the man.
Ruby wastes no time implementing her scheme. She goes to great lengths to look like she cares about the people Brandy loves who died thanks to Ash’s connection to Evil. By the time we get to the main confrontation on the dance floor, Ruby and Kaya have sewn enough concern in Brandy’s mind to make her believe OtherAsh is her father as he rampages across the dance floor, slaughtering and calling her name. She doesn’t notice when the men swap places, but charges in anyway to defend her peers. Instead of stopping a monster, Brandy faces off with her father, Kandarian Dagger in hand. Just like Ruby wants.
Too bad it’s a wasted gesture. Pablo’s spectacular timing saves Ash from a heartbreaking demise. OtherAsh goes down with his head in a billion pieces. Brandy drops the dagger like it bit her once the truth is out. A huge mistake. Ruby, guts on the outside still, grabs the dagger with the intent of ending Ash herself. Proving heroism runs in their bloodline after all, Brandy saves Ash and the dagger takes another life.
This episode kicks off with a little culture for the masses in the guise of Rent, but with zombies. Is it as catchy as the original? I’d say it’s a decent parody, given life by a cast who obviously enjoy the tongue-in-cheek approach to padding out the show’s universe by bringing in a bit of rebellious, culture-shocking theatre. The play’s director and star is our victim for the week. Let’s just say, Nellie is a spotlight in a dark room. When Liv’s in full “theatre actress” mode, not much can slow her down. She puts that energy to good use in order to prove herself to Mama Leone’s crew. Which she desperately needs to do because as far as the other guys are concerned, none of them have enough connections in New Seattle to continue running the underground railroad. They dismiss Liv outright in their first meeting. Sheer willpower, thanks to Nellie, get the engine back on the railroad’s tracks. Is it enough for Liv to act her way through such an important situation? How can she possibly maintain that level of focus while bouncing from brain to brain for the police?
While she’s on a roll, Liv gets things done; there’s no faulting her there. Take two with Mama Leone’s crew goes a dramatically different direction. While still hesitant, it’s through Liv’s sheer exuberance that they’re convinced to follow her lead on a rescue mission stemming from the leadership vacuum in the railroad. After the execution, most of the support team for Renegade’s crew scattered. Including the people responsible for retrieving a shipping container from the docks with several ill humans trapped inside. It takes a day for Liv to whip together a scheme, complete with script and costumes. The actors brought in for Renegade’s crew are great; it takes impeccable timing to make scenes like this work. One of the show’s strengths is their ability to bring in astounding talent every week. Thanks to Liv’s hard work, and everyone’s newly learned acting chops, the mission is a success. Hopefully that means more time with these new cast members.
The first brain Liv is offered spells certain misery should any zombie chow down. Unfortunately, the heroine-addicted Denny Minnis is an important part of Peyton’s mission to make the victim’s lives easier after the horrific bus accident. Minnis’ spouse begs Petyon to find the dog her husband abducted in a huff during their last argument. With Liv unwilling to put herself in that position, hope seems lost. By some wacky happenstance, Ravi is going through his “monthlies” and whims himself down to the morgue to play hero for Peyton. Regret is an understatement when it comes to discussing Ravi’s feelings once the brain’s influence kicks into high gear. In a day, he goes through some of the roughest parts of being an addict. It’s so bad, Ravi’s put on house arrest by his friends, only for him to jump out a window on Payton’s watch and hit up The Scratching Post for drugs. One of these days, Ravi’s need to prove himself to Peyton won’t have a happy ending. Not this time around, though. He helps find the dog. Peyton drops a little guilt off her conscience. Then they smooch. Wait, what? Are we just going to overlook some one the super awful things he’s done after they split? Ravi has been better, but good enough for Peyton’s trust? Guess we’ll have to see where this goes.
Since we miss out on Liv’s take on a drug addict, instead we get an hour of insane antics and random singing. She’s painfully chipper about everything. Even the required sexual harassment class for police and staff. Johnny Frost makes a hilarious return to the show as the instructor for said class. After showing a video demonstrating how not to act in the workplace, he pulls up a volunteer to role play scenarios to further make his point. Liv’s the only one remotely interested in being in the room, let alone reading from a script. This is one of the most intentionally awkward scenes in the show’s history. I dare you not to laugh once Liv really dig into the scene.
On subplot street, Blaine’s got more problems than random not-really junkies popping into his place of business making demands. The church is done being told how, when, and where they eat. Angus latches onto this rebellious streak and leads his flock to Romero’s for a sit-in protest. Even with the lords of the city at his back, Blaine doesn’t feel he has the pull to say no to his father. Not only that, but Blaine lets his emotions get out of control. Backed into a corner, he has no choice, really, but to provide weekly meals for the church. This arrangement won’t last long if Blaine has his way.
Reckless as always, Kelly allows her emotions to take the lead after she gets information from Brandy about where Ruby’s living during her long-term impersonation of a school counselor. Armed with a shotgun and the Kandarian dagger, Kelly barges into the middle of whatever the heck is going on in Ruby’s attic. The fight should be decidedly one-sided, but they’ve done a great job interspersing this scene throughout the episode and gave Kelly just enough weapons which do major damage to give her half a snowball’s chance in hell of hurting Ruby in any meaningful way. Unfortunately, Kelly being human is her ultimate downfall. The dagger she wants to use on Ruby goes into her stomach instead. At last Ruby has a body to offer to her sorceress friend stuck on the other side of the portal, Kaya. We all knew Kelly would go out fighting, but for it to be such an ill-advised fight isn’t as satisfying as it should be when we say goodbye to a hero.
On the run from police after Ash fails to reveal Ruby’s demon spawn as the monster he is, Brandy and Ash hole up in the house to regroup. They’re not alone for long. More Knights of Sumeria wind up on El Jefe’s doorstep searching for answers. The best Ash can offer is a look at the long-lost Necronomicon pages and the notes the dead guy left at the hardware store. Driven by a vision, Pablo joins them later. Overwhelmed by his new powers, Pablo accidentally recites a ritual which opens a portal to the underworld. Because of course that’s one of the random things he inherited with his gift. The Knights are thrilled. Their plan has always been to take the fight to The Dark Ones on the other side. Erring on the side of caution, everyone agrees to send Marcus as a scout, first. It’s a rough round trip. The Marcus who returns isn’t the man they sent through the portal. He straight up absorbs other Knights, then spits acid. It’s a great creature design; new effects with the absorbing thing, but holding echoes of previous creatures Evil’s sent Ash’s way throughout the years with the boils and exaggerated limbs.
Pablo is coming along nicely as a hero in his own right, though he’s not going to get far if he keeps opening portals to hell all willy-nilly. During the fight with the mutated Knights, he doesn’t waste time jumping in to grab a weapon. Nor does he grandstand to take all the glory when he’s obviously out of his depth. This revived Pablo is the sidekick Ash needed the whole time. Can they keep on track with these new powers at their disposal? Hard to tell in this episode because while they’ve gained a powerful brujo, they’ve lost their ballsiest fighter.
The brain shortage is what will eventually leave New Seattle too weak to protect its infected citizens from the world outside the wall demanding their demise. Fillmore-Graves can’t keep up with demand. On top of hungry mouths without any other option for nourishment, there’s countless brain tubes vanishing into the black market no matter how hard Chase pushes his people to plug the leak. It leaves them backed into a corner, and these guys are in full self-defense mode. The council strongly advises Chase to toss Mama Leone onto the guillotine without a trail. The weight of their failure to provide for the masses is foisted upon Mama Leone’s shoulders in the guise of blaming her for an overpopulation problem. To says she’s sentenced to death is an insult to the justice system. Fillmore-Graves uses the brain shortage to take out a political dissident as a message to anyone who’d disobey them. When it comes to the execution itself, I’ve never seen such a moving scene on this show. Credit to the actors for leaning into it hard and not flinching at the message. This is one of those rare scenes which leaves a lump in your throat. It sets a new tone for iZombie.
Fillmore-Graves has much more than a brain shortage to worry about. Before her demise, Mama Leone drops some truth on Chase’s broad shoulders. His company has a PR problem. Right now, the world sees a new kind of people making demands for what some consider the most precious part of a person without giving anything in return. Pleas for brains isn’t what the world should think about when they consider New Seattle and their plight. They need to see the positive, how the undead can help mankind. Mama Leone helps sick humans because it makes her feel like she’s doing some good in the world. As far as just causes go, it’s a great one. Fillmore-Graves doesn’t feel there’s room for that kind of rhetoric in their city, however, and those who demand a scape goat get theirs in the end. Renegade may not be gone for good. Liv wants to take up the mantle after being there to witness Mama Leone’s final brave moments.
Major and Don E take a quick road trip to pick up a special package for Chase Graves. Settling Fillmore-Graves’ PR problem is a Gordian knot. Every tug in one direction creates a whole new tension somewhere else. In this case, Chase’s desire to silence an outspoken American general turns into kidnapping and (technically) murder. When Don E falls asleep instead of watching Sloane, the special package, she overdoses on U in the bathroom. Major has seconds to make a decision. They can ask the smugglers to pack up a dead body for the bossman, or he can save her so General Mills, Sloane’s father, doesn’t follow through with his threats to nuke New Seattle. Chase doesn’t seem too thrilled to have a new mouth to feed, but he’s sure glad Major delivers Sloane in one piece. At the rate, she may be the only bargaining chip he has left to save the city.
Nothing’s gone right for Natalie in weeks. First, kidnapped by a psycho who feeds her companion to a wee demon. Now she’s bound to a chaos magnet with a mobile ball of evil and teeth on the loose. Worst yet, the numbskull she has to rely on thinks the best plan is to capture the baby, not just shoot it in the head and walk away. Her suffering doesn’t last long. Mini Ash’s appetite puts any normal teenager’s to shame. Showing his age, he does wind up playing with his food. Which is where the squick factor rises sky high. Mini Ash uses Natalie as a meat suit for the episode’s big fight. Basically, he just pops in and out of her neck and nether region, like Whack-a-Mole, but far, far more disgusting. The sound effects will be the soundtrack in my personal hell when the day comes. Never the less, our hero persists. Ash caps off his spawn’s exit routes with bowling balls and bundles the package up in the car’s trunk. At last he has real proof to show Brandy that Ms. Previtt isn’t human. Like every time where Ash attempts to prove himself sane in public, his proof vanishes, leaving him looking like the real monster. But it doesn’t take a demon baby to convince Brandy to listen to her father. Going against reason, she’s giving him another chance to prove his side of the story.
Before Brandy meets up with Ash, Ms. Previtt, and Ms. Previtt’s blood-coated child, she has to stab a guy and watch him nearly die. Negotiations with possessed Pablo and mouth on Kelly’s leg go south when Pablo rips open the trailer’s roof to grab Brandy. Kelly knocks the young woman free, only to wind up tangling with her demonic best friend. Brandy ends it by stabbing Pablo in the chest. The possession fades instantly. Pablo doesn’t wake in the human realm, however. Dagger in hand, Pablo faces his uncle and the woman messenger who will lead him through the ritual to reconnect his blood with his family and not the evil tainting it. The ritual is a callback to the type of “figure out which of the one thing is right” from Army of Darkness. Only this time our hero gets it right. Pablo is reborn as Brujo Especial.
Kelly welcomes Pablo back with a kiss. It’s such a wholesome moment tacked onto that brain-melting fight that I wished the scene lasted a few more minutes. Instead Pablo rushes off to save the world alongside his pal because he knows crap’s about to hit the fan. Fans. All industrial sized. It’s a good thing Pablo didn’t mess up the ritual like Ash borked his or no one would have Ash’s back. Why not Kelly? She’s on a separate mission to take Ruby off their problem list for good.
Brother Love’s influence spreads through the downtrodden zombie citizens in Seattle. One man uses his rough encounter with Fillmore-Graves goon Russ Roche as fuel for Angus’ new persona to toss on the smoldering fire within the community. To them, he’s the only to reach out a kind hand since their sudden departure from living society. He feeds them. Picks up their spirits when they’ve resigned themselves to being “dead” to the people they love. Not to mention, he has this uncanny ability to pick a target for his rage and project that onto the masses with a few magnanimous acts to sew the seeds of Us vs Them. Major steps right into this perfect storm on the search for Tucker, the man Gladwell scratched while being recorded. After his friends abandon Tucker, he steals the phone with the video and finds solace in the anger Brother Love preaches. That’s where Major catches up with him. The congregation shout at the Fillmore-Graves employees. Angus uses the moment to praise the Chaos Killer, and issue a stern warning that if Major ever shows his face at church in Fillmore-Graves clothes again, that’ll be his last day having a face. And people think this dude’s a role model. Okay, Sure, Jan.
Catching Bruce the coyote takes a lot of patience, a dash of subterfuge, and a large dose of overacting. After several days running a stakeout at the building Bruce uses to torch his victims, Clive and Liv need a new method. Mama Leona, before she’s taken to Fillmore-Graves, tells Liv to try an online ad. Ravi offers himself as the bait, really overworking an upper crust British accent during the video call to set up a meeting with Bruce. The acting doesn’t get better when Ravi waits for Bruce with SWAT, plus Liv and Clive, on standby. Despite the flightiness from the romcom brain, Liv’s passionate about putting Bruce in his place when he claims they have no evidence. I think Mama Leone’s chat about wanting to feel needed after becoming a zombie put some pep back in Liv’s crime-fighting step—that conversation also reminds us how awful Blaine actually is when he’s not oozing charm.
The Great Tim Saga comes to an end. Thankfully. When the gang head to The Scratching Post for the human/zombie mixer night, and Liv’s maybe-date, they must first face off with The Not-yo Man Major Savage. Gladwell and her new partner dose their commanding officer with blue wrestler brain as a joke. It leads to a heartfelt, but laughable scene with Major and Liv having a post-breakup talk about how much they just want to see the other person happy, no matter what. Kudos to the actors for getting through that scene at all. Every time Major opens his mouth, one can’t help but laugh hysterically. With that talk, and several others from Peyton about fate, ringing in her brain, Liv manages to just converse with Tim for the first time since they met. That’s when she finds out he’s a whackadoo Brother Love follower. Good riddance to bad rubbish; she tosses him like a pair of torn pantyhose. The episode wraps with the same sort of fun energy that charmed me during the last episode. We have most of the central cast in one place, hanging out, being silly, dancing, and no one’s worrying about anything. I forgot these characters could laugh so much without their faces cracking. Here’s hoping we get to see more of this, but I’m pretty sure the fun days are gone, what with Team Overlords getting ahold of Renegade and all.
Ghost Brock and Ash hop back to 2012 via the elder’s memories. Back when Ash’s interests include laying low and not much else, Brock has a visitor insisting he must speak to the savior. The adamant Knight of Sumeria has the missing Necronomicon pages which he must give to Ash. Brock’s having none of it, telling the guy to get going and that Ash wants nothing to do with the demon stuff, it’s already ruined his life quite enough. In typical Williams fashion, Brock opts to nut-shot the Knight instead of escorting him from the hardware store. Which is how Brock winds up with a dead man in his cellar. This guy just boards up the door, locks the building, and never turns back. This family doesn’t know how to deal with anything. Lock up a dead Knight, who isn’t actually dead by the way. Leave Cheryl’s room untouched like some weird shrine. Ash can’t even deal with Evil the right way, constantly butting heads with anyone who shows him which path to take. If coping skills were oxygen, they would’ve asphyxiated long ago.
On the flipside, the mayhem in the basement sends the Necronomicon into fits. Ruby arrives home in time to receive a warning from a servant to The Dark Ones. That thing in the basement? It’s a portal, and The Dark Ones are about to use it to make their way to this realm. The only Knight Ruby knows about is Dalton. He’s still reenacting Vlad the Impaler’s greatest hits, so Ruby jaunts over to the cabin for a little chat. Dalton’s not the one who triggers the portal, of course. In a bid to still appear powerful, the fool brags about finding the dagger. We don’t have to worry about that problem 
again, before Ruby’s spell to push back Evil broke, Dalton blows off his head.
Back to our victim. Annie unfortunately never meets up with her online sweetheart. Once she is in the city, Bruce the coyote shows his hand, murdering the girl to sell her brain on the black market. She’s a scrapper, puts up a bit of a fight, leading the killer to leave part of her brain behind—just enough for Liv to make milk chocolate brain-bons. This woman went through life falling in love with every other person, always assuming they approached her with good intentions. That’s rarely true, as shown by how easily Annie fell into Bruce’s trap instead of finding someone like Renegade, who so far appears to be the genuine article, someone who just wants to help. Annie’s brain makes its way to Romero’s, where Don E purchases it to feed their high-end clients, along with a mime’s brain to mix things up a little.
The undead are reaching the desperation point with the low brain supply. Fillmore-Graves suspects there’s only four months of brains on-hand for the expanding New Seattle population. Legal sources ae slim. Illegal sources can’t bring them in fast enough without garnering interest from the government. As it is, Clive suspects there’s a serial killer connected to Annie’s death, bringing them that much closer to pinpointing the cause as a black-market brain trade. Cracking down on border crossings isn’t dissuading the desperate from entering the city for what they see as their only chance to thrive—for example Annie witnesses an execution when they pull up to the gate. Desperate for a hand-up against the coyotes, Chase Graves appeals to Blaine’s business sense for aid. If Blaine delivers Renegade, he gets to run his businesses without interference. It’s too good a deal to pass up. By the episode’s end, Blaine locates, and devours, one of Renegade’s clients. Yet again proving he’s one of the most determined people in this universe. Finding the woman herself won’t be as simple. Liv can’t even locate her again after revisiting the laundromat and has to wait for Mama Leone to find her instead to ask about the other coyotes in town.
By far the worst part of the episode is Liv’s constant, “Oh, this is the guy for me. He’s amazing!” On the flip side, this easy-going, happy Liv pumps life back into this character. She’s hanging with Peyton again. They harass Ravi into a makeover montage, which brings such a smile to one’s face, their nose might just crack off. Not saying it happened to me, but I heard a friend suffered such a sad fate. Ahem. Anyway, I’m thankful we get another crack at this version of Liv. She’s the Liv we’ve been missing and didn’t realize it. Although she never actually finds it, Liv drunk on love is by far the best Liv. That truth makes it even harder to accept the production’s decisions to kill everyone Liv’s fallen for since the beginning. Give us what we want, people. Content Liv without the angst for a little while longer, please. And more montages.