Zombiepocalypse Etiquette Guide
The zombies have risen. Your friends, your family, everyone has been turned or is on the run to find a safe haven. Madness reigns on the streets. Death is on every corner. Miss Manners is probably chomping on little Billy from next door… Nevertheless, just because the world has gone to hell in a hand basket, that doesn’t mean you have to be rude. We’ve compiled a list of things you can do in order to not become “That guy (or gal)” during the Zombiepocalypse.
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Hygiene – Soap will likely be in very short supply after the zombies rise. However, a dirty human and a dirty zombie start to look and smell the same after a couple of weeks without indoor plumbing and running water. A quick rinse-off and clothes wash might save your life. (See below)
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Communication – There’ll be occasions when you run into someone who has not bathed, washed their clothing, or for some reason is covered in blood. We suggest trying to talk to anyone you might think may actually be a human. Killing the living is frowned upon in the Zombie Survival Crew, so please; communicate with others to avoid any unfortunate mishaps.
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Call Your Shots – Ammunition in the Zombiepocalypse will be sparse. If you find yourself in a hunting group, call out which zombie you are aiming at. This way other members of your party can focus on the remaining undead shambling your way and no unnecessary shots are taken. Calling your shots ensures quick dispatch of the undead as well. You don’t want to linger too long in an infested area.
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Sharing is Key – No; you haven’t been transported back to grade school. We believe that cooperation between the living will ensure that they remain healthy and without an uncontrollable desire to devour the flesh of their friends. So if you find yourself in possession of extra supplies, please do not hoard them. Share with your fellow man and in return they may give you something you are in need of. You never know when that extra bullet you gave away will be used to save your life.
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Privacy – In most of the predictions we have witnessed of the coming zombie uprising, the living have been forced to live together in small communities. Sometimes several families find themselves sharing a house. Other times, as with The Walking Dead, the living are on the run and residing in tent cities. Nylon fabric doesn’t offer any privacy. It is up to you to turn an eye and allow your fellow human the idea of privacy when they are without. The Zombiepocalypse will expose us for what we really are, sometimes a moment without prying eyes is needed to regroup and maintain sanity.
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Humor – A well-developed sense of humor will make the end of days easier to bear. We totally get that here at the ZSC. However, jokes need to be tempered to the situation. If your best friend was forced to put down his infected dog, that is not the moment to make an Old Yeller joke.
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Don’t Toy With the Zombies – Remember, these creatures used to be your friends, neighbors, milkman, etc. Living people you knew and cared for before the undead rose. Please kill them humanely. Shooting off their arms and legs to watch them flail around is cruel! With most breeds of undead, a single shot to the head will suffice. Though, feel free to have a little fun should your mother-in-law join the shambling hordes. We’ll turn a blind eye just that once.