ZSC Special Alert

From the mobile unit of ZSC Commander-in-Chief Juliette Terzieff:

Last year I nearly drove my car off the side of a highway in Louisiana when the call came through informing me the Centers for Disease Control had issued a zombie apocalypse preparedness guide. Here was not only confirmation of everything I had been saying for a year about disaster preparedness and survival, but the first admission by a U.S. government agency that zombies pose a real threat.

More recently the Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Emergency Management Agency made zombie apocalypse preparedness part of their disaster management planning. FEMA reportedly even went so far as to host a seminar for its Citizens Corps, encouraging trainers to use the threat of zombies in their community outreach efforts.

Then this past week media reports surfaced that the private security firm HALO Corp. will be providing the U.S. military training on how to manage a zombie apocalypse. Yep, you read it right. Our men and women in uniform will get zombie apocalypse training as part of this year’s counter-terrorism summit.

All the government agencies and bodies listed above have taken great pains to point out that the zombies they are preparing for are only metaphors, and that the advice and skills they’re developing are actually intended for use in cases of real world natural or mad-made disasters.

But we here at Zombie Survival Crew can’t help but wonder if the government knows something we don’t. We’ve asked all our Commanders to adopt a hyper-vigilant stance and keep their eyes open for suspicious activities. We urge you all to do the same…

*salutes*