Blue Brigade’s Second Lieutenant Jim Burleson brings a unique expertise to the Zombie Survival Crew. Not only has he been referred to as “the man behind the plan of Albuquerque’s first MAJOR Comic Convention,” Jim is smart, organized, and quick to act when action is needed. Actor, producer, stuntman… he’s seen it all from many different angles and knows how to get in and out before anyone even knows he was there. Currently stationed in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Jim has become a well-known fixture in his state of residence and we at the Zombie Survival Crew are confident that the Southwestern zones will be under his watchful eye when the dead begin to rise.
Starting off as a stunt performer in the crime thriller The Keeper in 2009, it wasn’t long before Jim introduced himself to the world as producer and host of the television series Cage Fighta.Continuing on to work both behind and in front of the camera, Jim has been spotted on the television series In Plain Sight, and also in the recently-released motion picture The Avengers. And it certainly can’t be mere coincidence that he appeared onscreen with fellow Commander Sean Patrick Flanery in the action thriller Deadly Impact.
Currently in post-production is the film Stars, and be sure to keep one watchful eye on the New Mexico horizon for the indie filmThe Cowgirls.
With the holidays upon us, things have been a little hectic around the command center. Not only are processing all the reports coming in of suspected zombie activity, and with the cold temperatures who knows what will happen, the Oracle is dancing around sprinkling tinsel everywhere and has put up so many blinking lights the command center looks like a 70’s discotech. So despite the serious task at hand, command does have the holiday spirit.
And now to bring you a little holiday cheer is the commander of the Orange Brigade, our very own RC Murphy. And if this isn’t proof that she’s been spending too much time with the zombie bunnies, then I don’t know what is.
Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse (to the tune of Winter Wonderland)
lyrics by RC Murphy
Zombies groan, can you hear ’em? On the walls, blood is glistenin’ A horrific sight, A world full of fright Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse.
Gone away is the old world, Here to stay is a new world Of death everywhere And being so scared, Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse.
On the sidewalk lays a rotting body, It begins to twitch and moan and groan. He’ll rise, very hungry We’ll arm up then And blow that sucker’s Brains all over town.
Later on, he’ll expire, As we set him on fire His face full of rage We’re saving the day, Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse
Everybody SING! Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse… Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse… Walkin’ in a Zombiepocalypse…
It has been a wild, crazy, and sometimes downright chaotic twelve months. For those of us who were here when the foundation was laid for the Zombie Survival Crew, those twelve months have flown by. When we sat back recently to look over the progress we’ve made we realized how truly astonishing an accomplishment this empire really is.
And we couldn’t have done it without you, our ever-faithful crew members.
Day by day our numbers grow and we’re introduced to new folks that are eager, ready to take on the shambling horde coming our way with nothing more than a 2×4 and their courage to aid them. The sentiment warms our hearts. It also makes us realize how lucky we are that you all have accepted us so readily. Your support has taken the ZSC from, “I wonder if…” to reality with enough energy left over to drag us into our second year of existence.
Somehow, someway, you’ve found yourself neck deep in the Zombie Survival Crew website. Don’t worry, this is a good thing. Whether you wandered in off the street after meeting us at a convention, or had a well-meaning friend slip the link onto your Twitter/Facebook page, you are welcome and encouraged to participate and browse around the site.
You may be asking yourself, why do I need to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse? We ask, why aren’t you already? The survival skills imparted on this website will not only help you escape being eaten by a reanimated corpse, but also ensure you are capable of surviving any number of natural or man-made disasters such as flooding, tornadoes, or even a full-scale riot in your home town. You can never be too prepared, a motto we take to heart.
There is a softer, though far from cuddly side to the ZSC. When we aren’t scouring the globe for new recruits, your commanders let their hair down and get to know site members better. We introduce fans of the zombie, horror, and sci-fi genres to movies, television shows, and art they may not have been aware of before. There are also numerous contest opportunities coming up in the near future. (Our prize room is getting somewhat cluttered…)
The ZSC also does it part to help those in need when disaster DOES strike. When we can, we help our celebrity commanders pass on information and aid relief efforts the world-over.
So how do you become an official member of the Zombie Survival Crew? Our registration page is easy, straight forward, and FREE. Once you’ve signed up and confirmed via email, you will be randomly slated into one of our Brigades. Each brigade has a commander and a certain set of skills they are to master in order to help the ZSC as a whole continue to move forward with our efforts. From there on out, how much you want to participate is purely up to you. If you wish to sit back and absorb information posted by the command team, go for it. Feel like you have something to say? We encourage members post their thoughts on the articles posted. Or, if you are an artist, writer, or filmmaker, we’d like for you to contribute articles, stories, art, or videos.
Get it? Got it? If not, feel free to ask us whatever questions you have about the site. We don’t bite, honest! The Command team is here not only to teach you how to survive, but to help you.
Convention season is upon us, ladies and gentlemen. Your commanders are packing their bags, checking their weapons, all in preparation to meet YOU, the ZSC faithful. Consider this our thanks to you for having our backs since day one.
Where will you find the Zombie Survival crew on our current string of missions through the end of June?
Can’t make it out to visit with us at one of the conventions? Don’t worry. The ZSC has a few contests lined up for you guys. Let’s not forget the Sideshow Collectibles contest to win a zombie to call your own that runs until May 20th.
And site members, be sure to hop over to the Members Only section. There you can leave questions for the commanders. We’ll answer anything you can think of (so long as we’re sure the UGA isn’t watching…)
Hope y’all are prepared for ZSC madness live and in person!
Chief’s Note: Newly promoted Special Agent, Premier Protection Enforcement Division (SAPPED) officer @Wulfie_ has observed the following recent activity within Zombie Survival Crew Command.
At 9:32 PM on Feb 9th a group of ZSC members were gathered together in the Compound Mess Hall when something sped past us. Not everyone noticed, but a couple of us sensed that…something had moved through the room with such speed and stealth that it had to have been supernatural.
While inspecting the room Crew members discovered this message sent out via twitter by Sean Patrick Flanery:
“David Cameron sings it out…!!!!!!! …Amen, brother.”
Gibberish? Not if Command knows Sean. Drunk? We think not. It is far more likely one of two things. Sean was showing off his stealth abilities and decided to rub our noses in it by taking the time to leave us a note so we’d know it had been him. Or he has been captured by the same Unknown Government Agency that kidnapped Juliette and Anthony and left us a coded message informing us of the situation.
Personally, I hope Sean was just showing off and, at the same time, teaching us that we need to be on guard AT ALL TIMES. But if this isn’t the case, my guess is that LK Gardner-Griffie‘s Flux Capacitor is now in the hands of the Unknown Government Agency (UGA). LK may or may not be aware of the theft. She may or may not be working with UGA. Further investigation will be required before we’ll know.
A Flux Capacitor is the ONLY thing that explains the way Sean was able to move, undetected, in and out of a room filled with people. Because he has proven himself to be a highly regarded and trusted member of the ZSC I don’t believe he has betrayed us, or that he’s acting against us. It is far more likely that he has been kidnapped by UGA.
Sean is more than capable of avoiding capture by defending himself – as noted in my earlier report. However, being a loyalist to the ZSC, he is perfectly capable of allowing himself to be captured in an effort to locate Juliette and Anthony. It is my belief that Sean has been kidnapped by UGA and that he somehow managed to find and use LK’s Capacitor long enough to get a message to us, informing us of his abduction without being detected by the UGA. Clearly, he would not abandon Juliette and Anthony to UGA which is, probably, why he returned to wherever it is they’re all being held.
I recommend that a Red Alert be issued at once and that a full investigation begin including the following steps:
Find out if LK and/or her Flux Capacitor are missing. Stealing only the Capacitor would have been the smartest thing for UGA to do because we’d have no reason to suspect anything was wrong or that it was missing, especially if LK is all right.
Establish if Sean has been kidnapped and…who is taking care of Donut in his absence.
Decrypt the coded message Sean left us.
Ascertain if any of these events were the result of the ZSC having been infiltrated with spies and, if so, locate them.
It may be that there are no spies and that the ZSC Headquarters has been bugged.* If that’s the case we need to run a thorough sweep for all devices and remove them. It would be smart to leave several of these devices in place thus allowing UGA to believe we have no idea what’s going on. We may be able to reverse the spyware so that we can track the signal back to its origin. This may lead us to where the three victims are being held or it may only lead us to an UGA agent or two. If it leads to agents then I highly recommend allowing Neil Brown Jr., RC Murphy, and Norman Reedus to interview them in whatever manner they see fit.
Once everyone is cleared, assign protection details around the other Commanding Officers and First Lieutenants in order to protect them from being kidnapped as well.
Locate where Juliette, Anthony and Sean are, whether they’re being held together, and rescue them. It’s unlikely they’re being held together. At the very least Sean will be separated from them and, perhaps, kept unconscious because of his fighting abilities.
Find, retrieve, or destroy, the Flux Capacitor so that it cannot be used against us again. Perhaps LK, if she isn’t a victim of kidnapping/mind control, or a spy, can help with this plan. Surely she and Jim Burleson can put together a plan to enable us to do this. (If Jim Burleson hasn’t fallen victim and isn’t a spy.)
We need to kick the UGA’s ass once and for all.
*Be sure to check and get rid of the secret #zombiebunneh hidden in the main operations room – what better place for a bug than in the belly of a fuzzy wuzzy zombie bunneh? Whoever gets this job should be prepared to deal with RCMurphy by distracting her with chocolate, striped knee socks, or new blankets for her personal cave.
Chief’s Note: the decision to publish the following assessment from ZSC Member @Wulfie_ was not taken lightly. She has inadvertently uncovered internal Command structure and planning secrets. Retribution is not out of the question.
Let’s face a few things here. No matter how the Zombie Apocalypse begins or ends it isn’t going to be pretty. Not all of us are going to make it.
Sure, we have the Zombie Survival Crew. We’re gathering forces, training, getting ready to defend ourselves. But there will be battles, and casualties. People we care about will go down and, if they rise up again, are we prepared to take them out? What would you do if one of our Commanders, or First Lieutenants, got infected and decided you’d make a nice snack?
Last week Neil Brown Jr. delivered a valuable dispatch designed to help us survive in the event of a cataclysmic global event. With that in mind I’ve written a report profiling the ZSC officers we look to for advice, protection and communications. Yes, they’re well trained, but if they become infected with the zombie virus, we need to know how to protect ourselves. This is especially true if the zombies we have to deal with aren’t just shamblers but intelligent walkers.
David Della Rocco is the one who’s going to catch us off-guard because, while we’re rearing back from his zombie appearance, he’s going to be throwing out the funny one liners. Being stressed out by the apocalypse is going to have us off our game and one good joke will have us snickering, then chuckling, then laughing our backsides off. He’ll be making some wise crack about The Walking Dead. We’ll be trying to hold ourselves up because we’re laughing too hard and that’s when he’ll get us with his weapon of choice: the chainsaw. Watch out for the zombies who can make you laugh; they’ll kill you with the jokes first and their teeth later.
Jim Burleson is trouble from the get go as a zombie, or otherwise. He’s gifted at orchestrating major events which means he’ll be the one putting together the zombie attack plans. His secret weapon is a Ball Pein Hammer. Ouch. The problem in dealing with him as a zombie is that he’s smart enough to have designed a plan hidden within a plan that’s hidden within another plan. By the time you figure out something’s going on, you’ve got a hammer slamming you between the eyes. This one needs to go fast, if he’s turned, or we’re all dead.
If Neil Brown Jr. gets zombified, he’s going to be on the front lines of any planned attack because he can bring it. Our lead vato is going to go ballistic and run off in all directions trying to find out whose fault it was that Neil got turned. (It will probably be Jim Burleson’s fault because he’ll know what a strong zombie Neil will make.) Neil’s dangerous as a mere mortal; put him in a meat suit that doesn’t feel pain and he’s going to cut loose with his martial arts as soon as he’s used up his katana. If he isn’t drop kicking you into your next life, then he’s going to be charming you with that hypnotic voice and calm demeanor, and will probably talk you into believing that it’s a great idea if you allow him to bite one of your fingers; after all, you’ve got nine others, right? Either way – you’re dead meat.
Pauline Campos is our first female zombified Lieutenant. Don’t be fooled by her gender. She’s got a Mexi-fro that no man in his right mind could resist. While said male is distracted by that and trying to help her with her diaper bag, she’s going to be nibbling on his appendages and shooting anyone who tries to stop her with her .45 ACP pistol. As a former newswoman, she intuitively knows where the action is and the best place to position herself to get to the…meat of the matter. Watch out for this little hottie from hell should she be looking in your direction with zombie eyes.
Sean Patrick Flanery as a zombie? All I can say is head for the hills, kids! I’ve seen this guy in action and, the way he takes out a Jedi Warrior with his mad skills, none of us stand a chance. Jus’ sayin’. Besides, having 2 black belts in Karate and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, this guy is walking death to the walking living. After reviewing his portfolio, I’m betting that the first thing he’ll do if he becomes a zombie is to infect his specially trained assassin dog, Donut. Don’t let the name fool you. If you see Sean coming…shoot AND run because if you don’t take him down with the first shot, you’re just going to piss him off. Donut will catch you and be gnawing off your leg, while Sean sidles up to finish you off. If Sean goes Zombie, it’ll take a fleet of us to bring him down.
LK Gardner-Griffie was abducted into the ZSC at the point of a crossbow. Not a good sign. If she’s zombified and teams up with Jim Burleson, we might as well give it up…unless they’ve been brain damaged. Because if their brains are in tact then, between the two of them, we’ve had the meat…er…become the meat. She’s got files on us and, if she happens to retain that information, she’s going to know exactly who each and every one of us are and where we live. She’ll assemble groups of Geeks to take us out one by one, moving from the most threatening down to us lesser munchies. If she actually happens to own a functioning flux capacitor…we might as well slit our own throats because the attacks will be like something out of Star Trek. Teams of zombies will be beaming in and out. We won’t know what bit us. In fact, it’s a safe bet that we’ll be zombiefied before we even realize we’re dead. LK will be at the very top of our Most Wanted list if she’s turned.
Don’t let Anthony Guajardo’s youth and pretty face fool you. He never goes anywhere without the protection of his dogs and is extremely dangerous, as proven by the fact that he has survived encounters with Daryl Dixon and “T-Dog”. He may look innocent, but he’s not. Be wary of him because when he’s not side-tracking you with the cuteness, he’s going to be hacking away with his machete looking for some finger food.
RC Murphy’s weapon of choice of is the sword but she seems to have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with our fearless leader’s sacred crossbow. This one hides behind a facade of outrageously funny mood swings and ADD tendencies. The trouble here is that it’s a clever ruse masking the fact that she’s actually psychotic. Several of her other personalities are made of the stuff that no one, and I do mean NO-ONE, on the ZSC wants, or is prepared to deal with. Don’t be fooled by her mild mannered wife and mother persona. There’s some real evil in her lusting to break free and being zombified might be just the thing that does it. Watch out for this cutie. Trust me on that. Also…avoid the Z’s.
Ah yes, our beloved, multi-tasking and somewhat flighty Jinxie_G. Self-proclaimed creator and destroyer of worlds. On top of being an Amazon, she’s proficient with the compound bow. Being nocturnal and constantly pumped up on caffeine and nicotine makes her hyper-vigilant. As long as she’s one of us, we’re fine. But if she goes zombie, I’d suggest the duck and cover technique. A grenade, or explosive of some kind, might be our only choice in taking her down as a zombie. The problem with this is, she has a gaggle of supernatural buddies who can step in at any time and kick our collective butts. Our best bet is to make sure, she’s not Turned.
IronE Singleton’s weapon of choice is the up-close-and-personal hammer. YIKES! Add his willingness to get a bloody facial to his passion for work, life and family and he’s a formidable opponent. He’s one of the most huggable on the crew and that makes him more dangerous than all the others. The shortage of hugs during any apocalypse makes IronE (a.k.a. Mr. Huggy) particularly dangerous. Watch yourselves! He might look like a teddy bear but embracing this zombie is a fast-track to zombification.
Now we get to Norman Reedus. Oy! Norman’s weapons training, crossbow abilities, and his gift for remaining clear and focused on missions makes him a valuable commodity to the ZSC. He’s an expert survivalist which, I’m sure will save our butts if we’re on the run. He handles stress swiftly and directly – though I have to wonder what’s going on behind those eyes when he’s just sitting around in silence. I believe Norman would make the most dangerous zombie of us all. In character as Daryl Dixon he’s shown patience, reserve and a willingness and ability to set his personal feelings aside and just get on with surviving. But I think he’s got a long memory and is capable of a multitude of surprises that could prove dangerous if he’s pushed too far. Right now he’s on our side and doing his part. But all of us need to remember that he doesn’t need us and he might very well be better off without us. We’re liabilities to him and I’m sure he knows this. At the same time, in the event of a zombie attack, he’ll have a few bodies to throw at them while he makes his getaway. As a zombie…yeah…I’d be totally unable to predict what he’s capable of so let’s try to make sure he stays human – that’s dangerous enough.
Our fearless leader, Juliette Terzieff, the humanitarian. She is the official leader of the ZSC and that’s an understatement. She might be known for running around in circles screaming, but don’t let her fool you. She’s not flighty. She’s not overwhelmed. (Tired yes, overwhelmed, no.) There are things we don’t know about her; things she has hidden from us – a move any good leader should make, by the way. But let’s remember that she’s been in actual war zones and heavily involved in international politics. While her human heart is humanitarian, I’m positive her zombie heart would be zombitarian. As the leader of the ZSC, she’d be a primary target for an intelligent zombie invasion. She’s the one that knows everything about everyone, including information that the rest of us don’t have access to. Information that she may, or may not, share with those under her immediate command. She could turn zombie and set us all up for the biggest fall yet and none of us would know it. As a zombie she could infect each of those closest to her, until the rest of us are wiped out. If that happens it won’t be long before she’s giving out bags of human meat instead of the bags of chocolate that her human self awards us with. Keep an eye on Juliette. Don’t let her height fool you either; one round of ChaCha Ferrigno and you’d be zombie food.
Moral of this report, friends and neighbors? Watch your back and don’t forget for one second that, despite our best efforts to organize and band together in the event of the Zombie Apocalypse, any one of us could become a casualty.