This is the tale of a rabbit named Percy. He wasn’t a wild rabbit, who spend their days scurrying frantically to and fro to find food where predators wouldn’t find them. No, Percy had the privilege to be born under the care of a kindly older human woman. He came into the world in his mother’s spacious cage on a farm far away from the noise of the city. It was a peaceful place to grow and get to know the world of a pampered pet, as the Old Woman called them. One spring afternoon, a family approached Percy’s mother’s cage. They ooed and awwed, pushing pieces of alfalfa through the bars. His mother taste-tested the offerings, of course, but Percy ate his fill. An hour later, Percy’s world grew dark and terrifying. Stiff brown paper trapped him in twilight. The world bounced and hummed around him. A high-pitched voice—the voice of His Girl—cooed over the hum for time too long to tell. Rabbits never grasped the art of telling time. To Percy, there were only three parts of the day: Time for fresh greens, Time for alfalfa, and Time for greens in the dark. Occasionally, there was Time for treats. The Old Woman said too much wasn’t healthy so she kept the sweet treats for herself. In the humming dark, there wasn’t time for anything except fear. Percy’s nose twitched—the only part of him he dared move. Around the Time for greens in the dark, the jostling and humming stopped. As did the cooing. Percy’s dark, papery world shifted suddenly. He scrambled to stay still. Mother had once said, if he ever lost his standing as a pampered pet, he had to stay still to keep the bigger animals from gobbling him up. Percy didn’t want to be gobbled, but he didn’t have any control over his movements.
His Girl brought light back to Percy’s world. The thick paper darkness parted, revealing her freckled face and funny smile—funny only because her teeth were so much different than his own and some seemed to be missing. Along with her smile came the tummy-flipping scent of fresh green things and a flood of light too white to be the sun. Gentle hands pulled him from the dark and set him on the grass. Percy froze. He’d been banished. Only rabbits not suitable to be pampered pets hopped around on grass willy-nilly. Where was his cage? Where was his mother? Why had the Old Woman given him away to His Girl, only to be tossed outside?
Sadly, this would not be the most frightening day of Percy’s life, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
Once his panic settled, Percy realized this was his cage. A funny cage, it’d been built right on the ground. Fresh grass grew where in his mother’s cage there’d been coarse hay that poked his belly. Clover and yummy flowers grew in one corner. Far, far across the cage sat a tiny house without windows and only one door, the floor lined with soft material to cushion his belly while he slept. Of course, Percy didn’t investigate any of this until long after His Girl gave up hope and left him alone.
By the time he’d finished a nap in his new house and ate four of the purple flowers, and another five clover leaves, the funny noises had begun.
“This is an awfully noisy bunch,” Percy thought. “Thank goodness my cage is outside or I’d never get any rest!”
Try as he might, Percy couldn’t ignore the racket. Hopping to the edge of the cage—something he’d yet to muster the courage to do—he searched the Big House for His Girl. Her noises were the loudest, nothing at all like the gentle words she’d whispered in the jostling darkness that brought him to his new cage.
Shadows passed over the Big House’s windows, some moving faster than others. Crashes drowned out His Girl’s voice. Bang! Bang! The door directly across the Big Yard from Percy’s cage slammed open. Percy jumped and dashed into his clover patch. Hunkered behind the green covering, frozen like a tree trunk, he watched a new man—not one of the two who’d escorted His Girl to the Old Woman’s farm—trip down the steps. A heartbeat later, His Girl bolted through the door. Her shrieks rivaled Percy’s that one time a big dog had knocked into his mother’s cage, nearly toppling it over with them locked inside. Red stuff covered her yellow dress.
“What a messy eater,” Percy mused from his hiding spot. “She’s got strawberry juice all over. Her father won’t like it.” Shortly after he thought, “I wonder if she’s brought any sweet treats to share.”
Percy’s stomach seconded the idea.
The strange man caught sight of His Girl and gave chase. What fun, a game! Percy dared to poke his head above the cover to watch the two race around the Big Yard. His girl shrieked and raced ahead of the strange man, but the man gained ground with every huge step. Right beside Percy’s flower patch, the strange man caught up with His Girl. Unbelievably, more strawberry juice covered His Girl’s dress.
The strange man tackled His Girl to the ground. It looked like a tickle fight—something the Old Woman did with Percy to shoo him to another part of Percy’s mother’s cage while she tidied up. Percy wanted to play. Feeling brave, and hungry for a taste of the strawberry juice on His Girl’s fingers, he hopped through the flower patch to where her hand lay pressed against the cage. Percy tilted his head up and licked the juice.
What kind of strawberries tasted like metal? Percy’s stomach gave a rumble. Then a roar. Maybe it liked the juice, even if it tasted funny. Percy gave it another taste, sneaking a lick at His Girl’s still hand.
A little better flavor this time, though still not any strawberry he’d tasted before.
From the laboratory of the Oracle Top Secret Alert Level: Orange
As you know, for quite some time we’ve been keeping an eye on our Orange Brigade Commander, RC Murphy. Her obsession with zombie bunnies and keeping them in the command center, despite the mischief they do, has been a cause for concern. I banned them from my laboratory last year … the third time they chewed through the top-secret communication lines was the last straw. There was much pleading and pouting, but I stood firm.
You’d have thought I was sending them all out to face a firing squad or something. *rolls eyes* Because of the delicate operations being conducted in my laboratory and all the top-secret communications being processed, compiled, and analyzed, I need a clean room environment and simply can’t have rabbit droppings everywhere. Out they scampered, little ears drooping, while following Commander Murphy as she shuffled in the lead. But enough of that ….
Our concern escalated when RC attended San Diego Comic-Con, ostensibly in stealth mode, but carrying her furry infatuation with her through the crowds. Please note the white fur-ball attached to her waist in the picture to the right. How she managed to pull off incognito while strapping a zombie to her side, even if it was a bunny, is beyond me, but it is a testament to Commander Murphy’s ninja skills. It is a known fact that zombies become excitable in crowds, like a busload of senior citizens when dropped off at a smorgasbord, so on the surface it would seem our Commander carried her fascination to the point of jeopardizing the security of the Zombie Survival Crew. However, there were no incidents. How did she convince the bunny to play dead, instead of undead?
To be clear—it is not Commander Murphy’s dedication to the Zombie Survival Crew that is in question. Her loyalty is beyond reproach. I have wondered, as the bunny horde has increased, whether or not one or more of them have been plants by the UGA (Unnamed Government Agency), exploiting the Commander’s love of small furry objects for their own nefarious ends. There has been a distinct behavioral change and Commander Murphy is not to be seen outside the command center without one of her pets lashed to her side. Come to think of it, even while IN the command center, she doesn’t move without at least one or two as her cadre.
In order to protect the Zombie Survival Crew and the safety of its members, I have taken matters into my own hands and have begun testing on the zombie bunnies. We need to know with certainty that our actions are not being reported, despite all precautionary measures, through these bunnies. So far, no recording devices, cameras, or anything foreign has been identified, but I will continue my investigation. Hmmmm—I am beginning to see why Commander Murphy has a fascination with them …
… they are EVIL CUTE.
The PROBLEM is that while they are cute, they are ALSO bunnies—which means we are quickly approaching bunny infestation level.
*ACTIVATES CRISIS MODE*
So here’s the deal *leans in and whispers* Don’t tell Commander Murphy … I have been keeping back those which I have vetted and ensured are nothing more than a normal zombie bunny. I don’t want to return them to the regular population—and they are too cute to kill—so the Zombie Survival Crew will let them go to a good home for $16.95. Let us know your brigade colors and we’ll make sure their bandages are brigade specific.
From Walker Murphy as she’s chained to Michonne, along with her furry friend
On July 13th, a large portion of The Walking Dead’s cast and executive producers braved the insane crowds at San Diego Comic-Con. They started the day with a signing in the TWD booth (complete with life-like Michonne and walker mannequins). A horde of fans crowded around to get a peek. Yours truly was nearly trampled by some of the fans on the outskirts of the crowd.
In the afternoon, the cast and producers hit the stage in Hall H, SDCC’s largest meeting hall. Even with the upgrade to the larger room, they still could not fit all of the fans inside. People were lining up at 4 AM just to catch a glimpse of our favorite crew of survivors and hopefully hear some good news about season 3.
I won’t keep you guys waiting any longer; here are the important parts from the TWD panel at SDCC.
First off, The Walking Dead will return to our televisions on Sunday, October 14th at 9:00 PM. International fans will be able to watch starting the day after and throughout the following week.
Secondly, they confirmed the first-person-shooter The Walking Dead game from Activision, starring our favorite pair of redneck brothers, Merle and Daryl Dixon. This is our only chance to get more background on the pair. Robert Kirkman said they prefer to not utilize flashbacks to develop character story arcs on the show.
Lastly, this wasn’t announced on the panel, but we just got word that Universal Studios is producing a Walking Dead maze during their gigantic Halloween Horror Nights extravaganza in October at both Universal Studios Hollywood and Orlando. They plan to drop brave souls smack-dab in the middle of some of the iconic and downright terrifying moments from the show, including Rick’s long, lonely walk down the halls of the hospital and the front window display of the department store where walkers broke through to get to the crew in season 1.
Now for some fun tidbits gleaned from the hour-long panel before we share the 4-minute trailer for season 3.
Executive producer, Greg Nicotero says that, this season the zombies will be even more detailed. They’re decaying as time progresses, hungrier than ever, and gathering in droves to go after Rick and his crew. Nicotero also directed an episode (maybe another this season?) of the show, which they finished filming before taking a few days off for SDCC.
May we ever see a musical episode of The Walking Dead? It is highly unlikely. However Laurie Holden and Danai Gurira have taken to mini-musical sessions between scenes on set. Laurie sings and they both dance and laugh. A lot of that chemistry promises to translate to the screen as Andrea and Michonne are separated from the main cast and struggle to keep going in the rough post-apocalyptic word.
Steven Yeun and Lauren Cohan are very excited for everyone to see where their characters’ relationship goes. That is, if Glenn can accept that Maggie loves him no matter what. She will do anything necessary to protect the family she has left and the man she loves. He is finally growing into the man he wants to be, but does that leave room for a love life? And can we say, thank goodness that we’re not in a real Zombiepocalypse? Steven told fans at the panel that he’d only fight to survive if attractive women surrounded him. “If it’s all bros, maybe I’ll lay down and let [the zombies] bite me.”
New cast member, David Morrissey, is excited to join the cast of TWD. He’s a huge fan of the show and jumped at the chance to be involved. David found his home with the cast and crew since they began filming in May and has been pinching himself since then…even if the heat and humidity in Georgia make filming somewhat uncomfortable.
Andrew Lincoln sang the praises of their youngest (and absent) cast member, Chandler Riggs. He says that Chandler, both in and out of character makes decisions far beyond his years and gets to go on this incredible journey. If Andrew could play another character on the show, he’d choose to be Carl so he could go through the experiences that Chandler is. Not to say that Rick’s experiences aren’t thrilling. But Andrew admits that where Rick is mentally is, “driving me bananas.”
There were a lot of fun moments in the SDCC panel discussion for The Walking Dead, but the best moment has to be the amazing 4-minute trailer they played before introducing the cast. Check it out below and let us know which moment you’re looking forward to seeing once The Walking Dead returns on October 14th.
Chief’s Note: Newly promoted Special Agent, Premier Protection Enforcement Division (SAPPED) officer @Wulfie_ has observed the following recent activity within Zombie Survival Crew Command.
At 9:32 PM on Feb 9th a group of ZSC members were gathered together in the Compound Mess Hall when something sped past us. Not everyone noticed, but a couple of us sensed that…something had moved through the room with such speed and stealth that it had to have been supernatural.
While inspecting the room Crew members discovered this message sent out via twitter by Sean Patrick Flanery:
“David Cameron sings it out…!!!!!!! …Amen, brother.”
Gibberish? Not if Command knows Sean. Drunk? We think not. It is far more likely one of two things. Sean was showing off his stealth abilities and decided to rub our noses in it by taking the time to leave us a note so we’d know it had been him. Or he has been captured by the same Unknown Government Agency that kidnapped Juliette and Anthony and left us a coded message informing us of the situation.
Personally, I hope Sean was just showing off and, at the same time, teaching us that we need to be on guard AT ALL TIMES. But if this isn’t the case, my guess is that LK Gardner-Griffie‘s Flux Capacitor is now in the hands of the Unknown Government Agency (UGA). LK may or may not be aware of the theft. She may or may not be working with UGA. Further investigation will be required before we’ll know.
A Flux Capacitor is the ONLY thing that explains the way Sean was able to move, undetected, in and out of a room filled with people. Because he has proven himself to be a highly regarded and trusted member of the ZSC I don’t believe he has betrayed us, or that he’s acting against us. It is far more likely that he has been kidnapped by UGA.
Sean is more than capable of avoiding capture by defending himself – as noted in my earlier report. However, being a loyalist to the ZSC, he is perfectly capable of allowing himself to be captured in an effort to locate Juliette and Anthony. It is my belief that Sean has been kidnapped by UGA and that he somehow managed to find and use LK’s Capacitor long enough to get a message to us, informing us of his abduction without being detected by the UGA. Clearly, he would not abandon Juliette and Anthony to UGA which is, probably, why he returned to wherever it is they’re all being held.
I recommend that a Red Alert be issued at once and that a full investigation begin including the following steps:
Find out if LK and/or her Flux Capacitor are missing. Stealing only the Capacitor would have been the smartest thing for UGA to do because we’d have no reason to suspect anything was wrong or that it was missing, especially if LK is all right.
Establish if Sean has been kidnapped and…who is taking care of Donut in his absence.
Decrypt the coded message Sean left us.
Ascertain if any of these events were the result of the ZSC having been infiltrated with spies and, if so, locate them.
It may be that there are no spies and that the ZSC Headquarters has been bugged.* If that’s the case we need to run a thorough sweep for all devices and remove them. It would be smart to leave several of these devices in place thus allowing UGA to believe we have no idea what’s going on. We may be able to reverse the spyware so that we can track the signal back to its origin. This may lead us to where the three victims are being held or it may only lead us to an UGA agent or two. If it leads to agents then I highly recommend allowing Neil Brown Jr., RC Murphy, and Norman Reedus to interview them in whatever manner they see fit.
Once everyone is cleared, assign protection details around the other Commanding Officers and First Lieutenants in order to protect them from being kidnapped as well.
Locate where Juliette, Anthony and Sean are, whether they’re being held together, and rescue them. It’s unlikely they’re being held together. At the very least Sean will be separated from them and, perhaps, kept unconscious because of his fighting abilities.
Find, retrieve, or destroy, the Flux Capacitor so that it cannot be used against us again. Perhaps LK, if she isn’t a victim of kidnapping/mind control, or a spy, can help with this plan. Surely she and Jim Burleson can put together a plan to enable us to do this. (If Jim Burleson hasn’t fallen victim and isn’t a spy.)
We need to kick the UGA’s ass once and for all.
*Be sure to check and get rid of the secret #zombiebunneh hidden in the main operations room – what better place for a bug than in the belly of a fuzzy wuzzy zombie bunneh? Whoever gets this job should be prepared to deal with RCMurphy by distracting her with chocolate, striped knee socks, or new blankets for her personal cave.