Saturday morning found ZSC Command members gathered round the resort’s Starbucks in search of coffee cups big enough to hold the amount of caffeine we all needed before the Con doors flew open.
And when the doors opened – it sparked a 10-hour onslaught of zombies, demons, bloody priests and people with chainsaws where their hands should have been.
The Walking Dead and Boondock Saints casts were in front of us, Night of the Living Dead to our right, with Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi and Anthony Michael Hall behind us.
Rocco came over to work the Zombie Survival Crew table and lend some extra Command support. Rocco’s move brought Blue Brigade Commander Norman over for a bit. Norman jumped right in and completed a few ZSC Command missions, and got so enthusiastic about it we had to physically stop him at one point.
The Command support of his two Boondock Saints cohorts drew Sean’s attention as well – though it later became apparent Sean has a different take on what ZSC Command structure should ultimately look like. It’s a disconnect I thought we had settled out after the Albuquerque Comicon – but he and I are trying to work it out. Or rather, I’m running from, hoping Sean won’t go jujitsu on me!
Norman, Greg Nicotero, Jon, Steve, Anthony and the rest of The Walking Dead took off mid-afternoon for their panel which many fans later picked as one of the highlights of the weekend. Nicotero thrilled the fans with information about effects and the magic he and his team work on The Walking Dead zombies.
While the gang was gone Lisa and I took the opportunity to scarf down the chicken ZSC loyalist Leigh-Anne procured for lunch, and found ourselves embroiled in impromptu Command strategy sessions with Anthony Michael Hall, Ted Raimi and Michael Kenworthy.
Within an hour all three gentlemen convinced me they were valuable assets to ZSC Command – and I enthusiastically issued rank assignments on the spot.
As the sun began to set, the Con wound down and the after events ramped up. Leigh-Anne volunteered to act as scout and went ahead to scope the VIP party crowd for potential UGA attackers. She immediately felt the eyes of surveillance upon her, but communicated the belief it was safe for Command to enter – as long as we were careful to avoid predator drone attacks.
Norman, Sean, Rocco and Anthony held their own, and ultimately it was Leigh-Anne – our brave volunteer – who suffered the first real loss of the evening when a UGA agent managed to procure her room key. As volunteer keeper of the Communication network she would be repeatedly targeted throughout the evening. We have yet to discern the “why” behind these assaults but can only assume it is an attempt by the UGA to remove Command’s support systems.
We bobbed, weaved and shimmied – and unlike the previous night it was because of the rockin’ music at the poolside party. We even managed to eat at a relatively decent hour. I just wish I could report we actually went to bed at a decent hour. Oh, don’t worry. We all paid the price…
.
Sunday
My alarm might as well have had laryngitis for all the good its squeaking did in terms of waking up the living dead (me) that occupied my room Sunday morning. A text message on the other hand seems to have miraculous regenerative powers. Just sayin’.
The call to Anthony and Lisa – to see if they were still among the living – turned into an exchange of moans and groans any zombie would envy. Pretty sure none of us understood what any of the others were saying.
I didn’t quite realize how bad things were until I turned on the light in the bathroom. And I’ll be honest. I screamed. Puffy swollen eyes. Blotchy skin. A general green tone to the skin. For a few heart-pounding moments I feared the UGA had somehow unleashed another assault and infected me. But no. I was thinking, so I couldn’t be a zombie. I think, therefore I am, right?
Phew. Disaster avoided.
Sort of.
Sunday was a blur of monster assaults and UGA probes that seemed to be occurring within a live-action role play of a Marx Brothers routine.
As I attempted to decode an early morning email from Anthony Michael Hall, and Lisa helped Anthony try out a coffin, Leigh-Anne volunteered for a desert mission under extreme conditions. I couldn’t quite believe she still had enough left in the tank to take on a mission of mercy to resupply ZSC command – but she did, and reported back with biscuit sandwiches and coffee.
It was around this time that I ended up with Anthony Michael Hall’s bank card. The scenario that led me to be guarding the card reminded me of an old Danny Kaye movie scene from The Court Jester where he’s trying to remember this tongue-twister: The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true… What? Oh forget it, don’t ask.
On a mission to get something from the ZSC Command vehicle, I opened loading docks doors only to find myself nearly tackled by one Jon Bernthal, who had apparently managed to get stuck outside under the burning Florida sun for some time. Jon did better than Norman, Rocco and I when we all ended up in the Sahara ourselves a little while later.
When Michael Kenworthy decided to don his new ZSC Command tshirt, he changed mid-room without thinking it through – and ended up with people throwing dollars at him. To say he blushed when he realized his mistake would be the understatement of the decade.
Steve played a quick game of ball with The Walking Dead cast mates Chandler Riggs, Adrian Kali Turner and Addy Miller that involved a ninja strike from Norman before he had to take off for his next mission.
As a result of events at Spooky Empire, Zombie Survival Crew, we now have a new standard operating procedure for all future Cons. ZSC cadres are requested to check in with Command as early as possible to set parameters for Command protection and integrity for the duration of the event.
Let me tell you why….
It was apparent pretty early on that Spooky Empire May-Hem was going to live up to its name.
My eventually successful attempt to retrieve Light Blue Brigade Commander Anthony Guajardo and his mother Lisa from the airport involved about 35 minutes of driving around in circles – which, I have to say is vastly less exhausting than running around in circles, but still kind of crazy. Shortly after we got to the resort, Lisa crashed in my room. Within minutes? Anthony crashed. Shortly thereafter yours truly was dreaming about sugar plum fairies.
When we awoke – now hopelessly late for set up and early meetings – we immediately discussed the possibility that the Unnamed Government Agency had somehow infiltrated the event and put us all out for reasons we probably wouldn’t want to guess.
Set up involved a crazy mad dash into the celebrity signing room where we would spend the weekend recruiting new members as personalities from The Walking Dead, Boondock Saints, Night of the Living Dead and Evil Dead thrilled the fans.
.
ZSC loyalist @buttrscotchboom (a.k.a. Leigh-Anne) showed up shortly after the event opened and adopted a defensive position to assist Command. And she got there just in time – as I was soon to fall victim to a gruesome attack by Bill Hinzman, better known as Zombie #1 from George Romero’s masterpiece Night of the Living Dead. I did manage to escape with an assist from Leigh-Anne and Lisa only to discover that Anthony was passed out on the ZSC table. We revived him – debriefed around the assault that left him incapacitated – and proceeded to scour the room for potential UGA moles.
By the time Norman arrived on the scene we were in full defensive deployment mode. We – with our allies from the Dixon’s Vixens – informed Blue Brigade Commander of the multiple attempted attacks just as a predator drone strike took aim at Norman. He was able to escape but inadvertently left Rocco in the line of fire. We bobbed. We weaved. We even retreated at one point to try and regroup. The UGA was relentless. I left Rocco and Anthony with armed guards Leigh-Anne and Lisa and ventured – at 3 a.m. – to find us some food to keep up our strength.
The food resupply was just what we needed to help us strategize – we crafted code words, evac plans and communications to aid us in predator evasion and keeping Command intact for the weekend.
With that, we were ready to face the hordes. Or so we thought ….
I’m going to say it was a sixth sense that led me to break ZSC Command protocol and answer the cell phone when the “BLOCKED” call came through.
“Is this the head of the company?” a gruff voice asked.
I almost hung up. But I’m no chicken. Yeah, yeah I am the head of the “company” so gotta keep it together.
It was the Texas Policemen and Sheriff’s Association.
He instructed me to pull off the side of the road.
“But I’m in Baton Rouge traffic and it says ‘shoulder closed’,” I told him. “This is totally illegal, dude, if a Louisiana cop shows up you’d better back me.”
He laughed long and hard, and I couldn’t stop chills from racing up my back and down my arms as I pulled the truck off to the side of the road. Considering it was about 94 degrees in the shade, that was saying something… but it’s not every day I get pulled over by a law enforcement official from a state away.
The Texas sheriff assured me if one of his Louisiana counterparts showed up I was to put the two of them on the phone and he would take care of it. “We need to talk now,” he told me.
As it turns out… the Association was looking for partners, and the ZSC has been chosen. I can’t divulge any details yet for strategic reasons. We’re due to have another conversation as soon as I stop shaking long enough to hold a phone again and I hope I can fill you all in.
First impressions say a lot. And when it comes to Anthony Michael Hall, you can toss what you think you know about his geeky yet charming on screen personae in movies like 16 Candles and The Breakfast Club – the man is sharp, engaging and dwarfs a room with the kind of shoulders built to bear weight.
And I have to admit I was taken aback when he followed up a standard polite greeting with a lean-in and whisper of: “So Zombie Survival Crew…what’s your command structure?”
As Zombie Survival Crew commander-in-chief I knew instantly that Anthony is a man we want on our side to help strategize and direct covert ops, as well as assist us in preparing for the onset of a cataclysmic event. And he is doing just that…
Zombie Survival Crew, please raise your weapons and welcome our newest First Lieutenant —
Anthony is busy working with ZSC Command to develop future missions. While you await finalization of mission assignments, catch Anthony at work in Last Man Standing airing June 6 on the Lifetime channel and in multiple upcoming episodes of Warehouse 13 on SyFy.
Our latest Command mission to assess the battle-readiness of Dallas, Texas has brought another experienced zombie slayer into the command structure.
Zombie Survival Crew Command is delighted to welcome our latest First Lieutenant:
James Gonzaba
Some ZSC members may not immediately recognize this vato –who was decked out on The Walking Dead with bandanas, baseball bats and pistols to battle walkers. The fact that James participated in the on-screen beat down of Blue Brigade Commander Norman “Daryl Dixon” Reedus? Command has decided to let that slide.
Check out James’ exclusive message to ZSC members –and raise your weapons for a new command member!
For the second time in a week Zombie Survival Crew has become embroiled in news of the zombie invasion nature. While the immediate threat levels remains, in ZSC Command’s informed assessment, low –the events in questions have made one thing perfectly clear: Now is the time to get prepared.
Last Saturday, Zombie Survival Crew cadres sprung into action after one of our own – Kim in TX – put out the word that “Sudden Zombie Attack” was trending. While our collective response was impressive even though the event was later determined not to be a zombie infestation, we identified some areas for improvement.
Then Wednesday news broke across the Internet of an official Center for Disease Control warning on preparation for a zombie pandemic*. (*note: the site takes a while to load, so please be patient. There are just that many people looking at it.)
The CDC’s preparation guide event tells ZSC Command two things:
1 – We have been right to suspect the UGA is not being completely honest with us, and may actually be working against us as we prepare to meet the onset of a cataclysmic event. After the CDC guide went viral the link stopped working. Government spokespeople blamed increased site traffic –our sources implicated the UGA’s hand. A few lucky souls were still able to access the CDC’s preparedness post. Feel free to keep trying here.
2 –There are those still within the government structures who agree with me and ZSC Command.
Zombie pandemic preparedness is serious business. The Zombiepocalypse may not unfold tomorrow, but an earthquake, war or other natural disaster could. Having a “go bag” and a pre-agreed escape plan is just plain smart.
Over the next several weeks ZSC Command will be rolling out official, brigade specific “go bag” packing lists in the Members Only area. Make sure to check in and see when your brigade goes up.
We’re also working on revamping our member skills/capabilities lists and escape routes to better accommodate our growing numbers.
And we need to move fast…zombie events are simply becoming too common to be a coincidence.
For a moment I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when the tweet came through Saturday night. It was a loyal #zombiesurvivalcrew member with a stark warning: “Sudden Zombie Attack is trending!” We’ve had a few jokesters try to get one over on us. I calmly looked over to the side expecting to see that she’d misread something–
But she was right.
After a double take at Twitter to see that the trend was actually there, Command put out the word, and the Zombie Survival Crew cadres leapt into action.
Within 20 minutes of the distress call, Zombie Survival Crew members from across the United States and around the world raised their weapons. They were more than ready to back up @TheZSC Command as we sought to identify the source, gauge the risk level, and determine a course of action. Via Twitter, Facebook, and cell phone, ZSC cadres fed information into Command—allowing us to make the determination that the threat level was, in reality, minimal.
In other words – ZSC, you guys rocked!
Saturday’s exercise left Command with the following observations:
Our communication lines are pretty solid, but we are working on alternatives in case the Internet goes down.
Y’all are armed! Wow. From rifles to baseball bats, ZSC people are ready to fight off any challenge.
Those of you who do not have Go Bags need to get them ready. Command has brigade specific packing lists we will be putting up over the next few weeks in the Members Only area on the site. Feel free to pack according to your individual needs, but make sure your “Go Bag” has your brigade’s items.
Some Zombie Survival Crew members reported a startling lack of fellow crew members in their area – particularly in Europe and parts of South America. In order to ensure you aren’t left alone when the real event happens, we ask that you increase recruiting efforts in your neighborhoods. If the worst should happen and you do end up stranded, contact command @TheZSC, raise your weapons high so we can send help your way.
Also, we have a crew working hard on improved escape route maps. Utilize these maps to identify the closest concentrations of ZSC members in the United States.
Overall, your commanders are impressed with the speed in which you responded to a potential threat. Command salutes Kim, Kevin, Brooke, Christine and David for rapid deployment efforts on behalf of the ZSC!!!
Keep up the good work, guys!
::salutes with crossbow::
*For full access to ZSC Command dispatches and info, become a member here.
Convention season is upon us, ladies and gentlemen. Your commanders are packing their bags, checking their weapons, all in preparation to meet YOU, the ZSC faithful. Consider this our thanks to you for having our backs since day one.
Where will you find the Zombie Survival crew on our current string of missions through the end of June?
Can’t make it out to visit with us at one of the conventions? Don’t worry. The ZSC has a few contests lined up for you guys. Let’s not forget the Sideshow Collectibles contest to win a zombie to call your own that runs until May 20th.
And site members, be sure to hop over to the Members Only section. There you can leave questions for the commanders. We’ll answer anything you can think of (so long as we’re sure the UGA isn’t watching…)
Hope y’all are prepared for ZSC madness live and in person!
It’s your turn to take a shot at the Zombie Survival Crew commandersTM.
Put the bolts and the blades down – some of you look far too eager with those things – it’s not that kind of shot.The Zombie Survival CrewTM commanders are giving site members an exclusive opportunity: You get to interview us.
BUT this is an exclusive member’s only opportunity, so if you’re a site member, click this link and if you’re not a site member, then what are you waiting for – click this link to get started.
It’s your turn to take a shot at the Zombie Survival Crew commandersTM.
Put the bolts and the blades down – some of you look far too eager with those things – it’s not that kind of shot.The Zombie Survival CrewTM commanders are giving site members an exclusive opportunity: You get to interview us.
From May 11, 2011 through May 20, 2011 you can comment on this post, leaving any question you are itching to hear an answer to. Since we are still trying to remain under the UGA’s radar, please do not ask about the location of the ZSC home base, or anything that may give away personal details about your commanders. Too many of us have felt the sting of unwanted attention from our former allies.
We encourage you to think outside of the box with your questions. Take full advantage of this opportunity while it lasts. With the UGA closing in on our whereabouts it is unclear if we will be able to provide anyone with an inside look into the inner-workings of the Command Center in the future.
After all the questions have been collected, Command will do our best to answer the most pressing matters. Keep in mind, some of the commanders may be unavailable due to ongoing assignments, abduction, and/or mysterious internet connection problems.
Rocco came over to work the Zombie Survival Crew table and lend some extra Command support. Rocco’s move brought Blue Brigade Commander Norman over for a bit. Norman jumped right in and completed a few ZSC Command missions, and got so enthusiastic about it we had to physically stop him at one point.
The Command support of his two Boondock Saints cohorts drew Sean’s attention as well – though it later became apparent Sean has a different take on what ZSC Command structure should ultimately look like. It’s a disconnect I thought we had settled out after the Albuquerque Comicon – but he and I are trying to work it out. Or rather, I’m running from, hoping Sean won’t go jujitsu on me!
Norman, Greg Nicotero, Jon, Steve, Anthony and the rest of The Walking Dead took off mid-afternoon for their panel which many fans later picked as one of the highlights of the weekend. Nicotero thrilled the fans with information about effects and the magic he and his team work on The Walking Dead zombies.
While the gang was gone Lisa and I took the opportunity to scarf down the chicken ZSC loyalist Leigh-Anne procured for lunch, and found ourselves embroiled in impromptu Command strategy sessions with Anthony Michael Hall, Ted Raimi and Michael Kenworthy.
Within an hour all three gentlemen convinced me they were valuable assets to ZSC Command – and I enthusiastically issued rank assignments on the spot.
As the sun began to set, the Con wound down and the after events ramped up. Leigh-Anne volunteered to act as scout and went ahead to scope the VIP party crowd for potential UGA attackers. She immediately felt the eyes of surveillance upon her, but communicated the belief it was safe for Command to enter – as long as we were careful to avoid predator drone attacks.
Norman, Sean, Rocco and Anthony held their own, and ultimately it was Leigh-Anne – our brave volunteer – who suffered the first real loss of the evening when a UGA agent managed to procure her room key. As volunteer keeper of the Communication network she would be repeatedly targeted throughout the evening. We have yet to discern the “why” behind these assaults but can only assume it is an attempt by the UGA to remove Command’s support systems.
My alarm might as well have had laryngitis for all the good its squeaking did in terms of waking up the living dead (me) that occupied my room Sunday morning. A text message on the other hand seems to have miraculous regenerative powers. Just sayin’.
Sunday was a blur of monster assaults and UGA probes that seemed to be occurring within a live-action role play of a Marx Brothers routine.
It was around this time that I ended up with Anthony Michael Hall’s bank card. The scenario that led me to be guarding the card reminded me of an old Danny Kaye movie scene from The Court Jester where he’s trying to remember this tongue-twister: The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true… What? Oh forget it, don’t ask.
On a mission to get something from the ZSC Command vehicle, I opened loading docks doors only to find myself nearly tackled by one Jon Bernthal, who had apparently managed to get stuck outside under the burning Florida sun for some time. Jon did better than Norman, Rocco and I when we all ended up in the Sahara ourselves a little while later.
To say he blushed when he realized his mistake would be the understatement of the decade.
Dispatcher: Juliette Terzieff
