Albuquerque Comicon 2011

The Albuquerque Comic Con was the first time some of the Zombie Survival Crew Command team got together in one place at the same time . . . .

We thought it would be a good opportunity to hone our collective battle plans. Instead, it was complete chaos. And that was just Friday night!

It all started when Juliette cha-cha-cha’d by accident in front of Lou Ferrigno. You know, the original Hulk? And this was AFTER she had her infamous fangirl moment in the hotel lobby that I tweeted about. Lisa and I barely managed to stay standing when that little number went down. That was our first indication that Juliette’s street cred might be more bluster than substance.

Keep an eye on the crossbow, peeps. I’m not saying mutiny. I just want to know where it’s pointed . . . and I hope not at my backside.

By the time Lisa, Juliette and I managed to meet up with Sean, Rocco and Norman (having left Anthony at the hotel to get his beauty sleep), we got mooned by a short bus full of college-aged boys during the taxi ride, and Lisa spilled almost an entire drink on Juliette after Juliette spilled part of my drink on herself.

I can’t say I was completely surprised that Rocco’s first reaction to Juliette was to start throwing punches.

I’m kidding . . . though he did elbow her in the back and aim a faux-blow at her jaw later in the night. Don’t ask.

We found him by the dance floor, introduced ourselves, talked to him for a bit only to discover Rocco’s kinda quiet, like me . . . or so it seemed. Look, I know y’all don’t believe I’m shy, but I am. You’ll find out when you meet me the first time. Juliette did.

Sean wandered around the bar and got mobbed by people, and blinked a lot from having his picture taken repeatedly. I don’t think he sat down all night.

When Norman walked in, Lisa and I stuttered (not really . . . who’s writing this post?) and Juliette put her war zone journalism skills into action before the crowds pounced. Good thing too. Because that was just about the time Anthony called to see if we were still alive. Barely, dude. Just barely. Read more…


Zombie Survival Tactics: Part Three

Command loves the opportunity to demonstrate skill and promote zombie survival preparedness.

Our newest First Lieutenant Sean Patrick Flanery is no exception.

Notice the stance. The speedy reflexes. Notice Sean’s refusal to allow his opponent to get in too close… Things to remember during the zombiepocalypse.

Read more…


Zombie Survival Tactics: Part Two


How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

This is an all-around instructional video on how you can survive the coming Zombiepocalypse. Pay close attention, as Jinxie G picked this one specifically for some of its content, with exception to the comments about women because Jinxie is an amazon, not a screaming little girlie-girl who’s going to freeze at the sight of a zombie . . . unless they’re running. She does not, however, take issue with shooting you in the event you’ve been bitten.

Happy zombie hunting prepping while we put our rescue plan together to get Juliette and Anthony out!


Rescue Plan Contest Winner!

You’ve had your time to plot and scheme; now we act. Zombie Survival Crew, grab your go bags! It’s time to rescue our missing captains.

The winner of the Escape Plan contest is Wulfie_. Hearty congratulations to you. You will be on point to lead a squad of your picking into the secret government facility. (Oh and you get some neat ZSC gear too. I’m jealous!)

We have included the winning plan below. Crew members, pay attention. This is the important part. We must find Juliette and Anthony!

Scouting:

One of ours could pose as someone trying to get a job in the power plant. Surely someone in our group can pass as someone qualified enough to get work in a power plant, so as to avoid suspicion.

Some of the civilians are wary and suspicious of what’s really going on in the place. We get a few of these to give us some intel. Plant workers tend to hang out at bars after shifts and on weekends. Alcohol loosens tongues, you know. People talk and we’ll pick up some info just hanging around, during a round of drinks or a nice game of darts or pool. People love to bitch about work, right? We may be able to get one to help us during the attack, but that plan isn’t totally reliable. I imagine disgruntled workers are being watched. Best to be suspicious of everyone.

The Attack:

We can’t just bomb the shack or the power plant because that will put the underground on lock down. The place has to have ventilation shafts if it’s that far down. We’ve scoped those out and on the day/night of our rescue attempt we place groups of 3 at these shafts (Team C), armed with weapons and gas grenades to be dropped down the shafts. In the event of a gas or toxic air readout, the plant’s automatic emergency generators should kick off. Beta Team will hit the areas with the most civilians. The civilians have to be evacuated and will be freaking out while soldiers/security try to get them out in an orderly fashion. Lights and power should shift to emergency generator power. There’ll be half light, blinking lights, and alarms going off everywhere.

Alpha Team will target Glasses because he, evidently, can get the furthest into the place with his ID and thumb prints. Scouts revealed that he’s married. His family knows nothing about what he really does for a living. We have a small team kidnap his wife and kids right after he leaves for work in the morning. The second half of Alpha Team waits at the coffee shop. One of ours hides in his car while he’s distracted getting coffee. (This will require someone capable of breaking into his vehicle without setting off the car alarm OR someone to fake illness when he’s returning to his car. After he unlocks it, they use a gun to get him into the car.) At this point, a cell phone call to prove to him that we have his family and he’d better cooperate or we’ll kill them (we won’t, but he doesn’t know that). The scheduling will be tight on this. How long is his coffee break, for instance? Quickly obtain intel from him as he drives to the shack. From that, we place teams around the plant and the spokes. We put the best armed of our crew by the SW spoke (Team C), because there’s ingress and egress available there.

Using Glasses and his ID, Alpha Team will gain access to the facility and Anthony’s holding cell, taking out whoever gets in our way. If Glasses decides not to cooperate, remind him that his ID badge and the fingerprint detector will work whether he’s alive or dead. Just sayin’.

Getting out will be harder than getting in. Go figure. By the time we get to Anthony the entire place will be pretty crazy. Beta Team will have been detected. This will shift the emergency evacuation to lockdown and defense mode. This is when we drop our next surprise on them. Team C will deploy more gas grenades, but this gas knocks people out cold. That’ll drop a lot of them. Lightweight masks will be given to the Alpha Team, Beta Team, Anthony, and Glasses so we can recover Juliette. Glasses, by this time should be pretty freaked out. Anthony will have to be carried out or, if he’s not too hurt, should be pretty ticked off. Set him loose on Glasses to make him lead us to Juliette. Once she’s located, feel free to take Glasses’s mask off or knock him out. Have at him Anthony!

Alpha Team escorts Anthony and Juliette out through the SW spoke. Beta Team will be inside and outside that area to cover them. Team C, at the shafts, will evacuate but not before planting C-4 explosives that can be remotely detonated. Once they’re clear, we give the signal to trigger the explosives.

We must be prepared to lose people. We’ll send in well-trained members who are willing to die for the cause. Beta Team must be our special forces. They will be on their own through much of the rescue, distracting the security forces and keeping them busy while the Alpha Team does the rescue. They should have weapons and plenty of ammo, and at least six or seven grenades of their own. They can cause as much havoc as needed before ordered to retreat. Beta Team will be encouraged to swap clothes with the security forces in order to sneak past opposing forces.

Not everyone will make it. This is a high-risk rescue.

Note:

There may be experiments going on in the Labs. There is a risk of these being released into the air, infecting even to those with breathing masks. If this is true, even the facility’s security forces will be making a B-line to escape. This could be what triggers the Zombie Virus. However, if we can blow the place to smithereens we might avert it. The facility is a mile down and only has that one point of entrance at the SW spoke, which we will blow up to prevent anything from getting loose. But we must be prepared on the off chance that somewhere in the depths of this evil place, there is a zombie or two who escape.

In effect, our rescue attempt may be the very thing that triggers the Zombie Apocalypse.

Nicely done, Wulfie! We will contact you soon for details on your ZSC gear.

We were very impressed with the plans the crew members came up with and it was a tough decision. We look forward to seeing what you can do with future challenges! You all did a great job! Thank you!


Zombie Survival Tactics: Part One

Yes, we know it’s a commercial, but honestly, what would you do in this situation? Would you make it to your car, or would you become zombie food?

For example, I (Jinxie) have an Avalanche. It’s pretty. Anyway, the key fob allows me to open one door or all doors. Don’t really want all doors unlocked when I’m trying to escape zombies and if I’m alone. Maybe zombies know how to open doors? You never know. Watch Land of the Dead. *shudders* So my ‘lanche allows me to open the only door I need in the event I must escape the shambling hordes. I’m not too concerned with key confusion, like the girl in this video. I don’t have that many keys on my key chain.

So, what would you do, dear crew? Do you have a plan for this?


Setting the ZSC Record Straight

We in the Command Center decided to show you our New Year’s resolutions for when the Zombiepocalypse happens this coming year . . . or so. It could happen, people! Did you not read that Cracked.com story? Frightening stuff and PROOF that it’s inevitable.

R.C.:

This year I will make an effort to clarify the differences between the undead and emo kids that wander around the mall.

In 2011 all of my swords will be sharpened and stay sharpened even after repeated use. (practice!)

I will lose 20 pounds this year. No wait, sorry; I will cut off 20 pounds of flesh from any zombies that may appear in 2011.

This year I will make an effort to go to the gym, because I hear that steroids may be one of the causes of the zombie virus. (Aside from licking bathroom doors… Juliette?)

Juliette:

Take every stinkin’ turncoat out there who thought the pink horns was a funny idea and string ’em up as zombie bait.

Identify system to better vet crew members to help pinpoint those who are only in it to make an attempt on gaining possession of the crossbow.

Get “Cold, Dead Hands” added to tattoo of crossbow on lower back.

Recruit rapid response team of trusted ZSC members to protect the crossbow from @DarylTWD

Jinxie_G:

I resolve to have a plan—detailed—to escape the shambling hordes that I hope won’t involve my being trapped in any structure, such as a mall, with a bah-jillion zombies surrounding it. *shudders at Dawn of the Dead image*

To spend more time on target practice and note that it is still illegal to shoot people for being stupid—but not for long. Thus, I resolve to learn how to use the compound bow sitting in the corner collecting dust. Oh, and I need arrows.  —>

To focus, focus, focus on the job ahead as co-captain and to keep as many as possible safe from the walking dead. However, if you are bitten, I’ll shoot you before you’re dead. Hey, I intend to blow my own head off if one bites me. Lead by example, right?

LK:

To build a Zombie Farm detector so we can pinpoint them and eradicate the farms with zombie seeking missiles, thereby reducing the chance of becoming infected with the zombie virus. And while we’re at it, why don’t we take out Farmville at the same time.

Develop a serum which allows ZSC members to infiltrate zombie camps undetected for intelligence gathering.

Perfect my crossbow deflection shield for times when I irk our numero uno fearless leader (’cause let’s face it – it will happen on a regular basis)

So tell us a few of your resolutions in the comments below!


Your Challenge (should you choose to accept) . . .

Command Dispatch

31 Dec 2010, 08:01

Ref: Co-captains Rescue Attempt

We have received the following from R.C., who has located the detention facility where Anthony and Juliette are being held.

Command needs help from the Zombie Survival Crew brigades to craft a successful escape plan.

Take your best shot, get creative, get nasty . . . and post your escape strategy in the comment section or email it to Command at zombiesurvivalcrew (at) gmail (dot) com. You have until January 7.

Command will pick the best plan to execute, and its creator will get official ZSC gear (being unveiled publicly mid-January) as a prize!!

***************

Field Report: R.C. Murphy

You want something with a high level of difficulty? Try finding a living soul in the middle of a desert. No, tumbleweeds don’t count. Though by the end of my second day in New Mexico I sure wished they did.

The signal from Juliette’s GPS came from somewhere between Santa Fe and Albuquerque. I traced it to one of two locations. A run-down shack sitting all on its lonesome in the desert, or the hydroelectric power plant two miles away. Neither looked like a secret government agency’s stronghold, but as with most things looks can be deceiving.

I targeted two men to gather info. The first had been in and out of the shack frequently. The second worked at the power plant. On both I planted a small button camera. They should have been more careful with their coats while having a cup of joe.

The first, I’ll call him Glasses, drove to the shack after his caffeine fix. Inside wasn’t much, a typical storage shed. He headed for a red cabinet on the back wall. The doors opened and two armed soldiers greeted him. They stepped aside to expose two sets of elevators doors. Another single door sat to the side of those, marked “stairs.”

Glasses swiped an ID card over a black box on the wall. The elevator doors opened and he began the very long ride down. When the doors opened again, they showed three sets of double doors. Through the small windows I saw more soldiers.

The right door bore a sign reading “Administration”. The left, “Power plant”. Center, “Laboratory”.

He took the center doors. More men in white lab coats milled around. Like camouflage sprinkles in whipped cream were a few armed soldiers, stationed just far enough apart to not look too threatening despite the semi-autos hanging from their shoulders.

Glasses walked past rooms filled with medical equipment. A large steel door slipped by, “Cold Storage” the sign said. He went on to the end of the hall. There the doors were shut. His thumb slid over a fingerprint scanner and the window on the door opened.

Jesus, it was Anthony.

The footage after that was useless. Something blocked the camera’s eye. In desperation I pulled up the footage from the second man’s button cam. I named him Suspenders.

Suspenders approached the large steel door of the power plant and tapped a card against a small black panel identical to the elevator locks inside the shack. The door eased open; he gave a wave to one of the cameras keeping watch over the entrance.

A stairwell door and a pair of elevator doors waited. Suspenders took the elevator, his ride down just as long as Glasses’. When the doors opened I half expected to see the dreary circular room from before, but no. He was let out right smack dab in the midst of a bustling power plant.

Large machinery took up most of the space. What wasn’t filled with machines was taken over by people. Amongst them, some shrewd looking security officers. Their eyes took in everything, I mean everything.

One approached Suspenders, saying something I couldn’t read on his lips. My target followed him down the row of machines, passing more security and a few wary workers. At the end of the hall sat a double set of doors and a black ID scanner like the elevator locks. The guard opened the doors with his ID. Beyond was the circular room.

They took the door reading “Administration”. As soon as Suspenders hit the hallway a shadowy hand covered the button cam. Dangit!

The only other information I managed to find were blueprints for the power plant. It’s made of solid steel and enough concrete to fill in half an ocean. The other wings of the facility? It’s as though they don’t exist.

We have to get Juliette and Anthony out of there. This is where I need your help.

***************

This is the only photo R.C. was able to get to us. They’re locked down tight, folks.

If you’re not up for this challenge, have no fear. A variety of other contests are around the corner!

Happy planning and stay safe out there!


Mascot or Meal?!? You decide …

After some rather amusing Twitter shenanigans and some soul searching inside the ZSC Command Center we have decided to take the following out to the broader Zombie Survival Crew brigades for a vote.

It was suggested by “someone” that we make @Squirrel_TWD an official (not THE official, but AN official) #zombiesurvivalcrew mascot, despite the squirrel’s very public – and often nasty – blood feud with the Dixon brothers from The Walking Dead.

We were assured by a Command Center discussion that the following Tweet had nothing to do with putting our furry little friend up for vote!

Wonder how long it it’ll take to chew through a wire on a crossbow. 2:55 AM Dec 23rd via web

Squirrel_TWD

Squirrel

But, that this Tweet definitely did have something to do with the voting process!

Hey @jterzieff @thezsc Also throwing it out there: I can outrun, jump, and drink everyone else. #justsaying #Zombiesurvivalcrew 2:28 AM Dec 24th via web

Squirrel_TWD

Squirrel

**********************

So Zombie Survival Crew brigades, let us know what you think!

Vote yes, if you support @Squirrel_TWD as an official mascot; vote no, if you don’t! If you have an alternative suggestion for ZSC mascots, put them up in the comments section of this post.

We’ll keep voting open until Friday, December 31, 2010.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

Zombies Roasting on an Open Fire…

A little Christmas caroling for y’all on this blessed day.

Zombies roasting on an open fire, paramedics reattaching toes.
Freaking Vatos are stealing your tires and dang, their pants are really low.

Everybody knows some bullets and a crossbow, kill the zombies right on sight.
Daryl’s squirrels with their eyes so dull will make a great feast tonight.

You know that zombies like to slay. They’re sinking rotting, nasty teeth into your leg.
And the fever will make you fry, in the morning you’ll walk after you die.

And so we’re offering this simple pledge, to folks from all around the world.
If you’ve been bitten by a zombie redneck, we’ll shoot you humanely.

~ RC Murphy