Don’t ask me why I’m on a foreign movie kick lately. They are just… there and some of them happen to look halfway decent before clicking play. Dead Snow (2009) is a good example of judging a book by its cover. The poster art for this film was what caught my interest while looking for the next movie to sink my remaining teeth into. So, I thought, why not give it a go?
Great idea. (Note the mild sarcasm.)
Dead Snow starts with a random scene where a mostly unseen menace chases a girl through a snow-covered forest. Makes not a lick of sense and I’ve come to expect that with a lot of the movies I review, to be honest. We’re then introduced to the main cast, a group of pre-med students who’ve decided to spend their Easter vacation at an isolated cabin. These early scenes where the friends banter back and forth are painful and drag on for long enough to be considered torture by the Third Geneva Convention. Things don’t begin to get interesting until a Creepy Old Man™ shows up out of nowhere to explain why the students are idiots for staying on that mountain.
What has the old coot shaking in his fur-lined boots?
Nazi Zombies.
That’s not a typo. The old guy tells a (rather long) story about a regiment of Nazis that were chased out of a local village after tormenting the residents and stealing all of their gold. No one knew where the regiment disappeared to after they made their way into the mountains, but legends suggested they became the undead, hunting the landscape for people stupid enough to tread on their turf.
After that we finally get in on the zombie action. The Nazi zombies are surprisingly agile and quick, despite the extremely cold temperatures. And, I’ve got to say, the makeup used for the movie is great. Aside from the cheesy plot and questionable acting at times, the best parts are during the series of attacks that round out the latter half of Dead Snow. It was easy to get wrapped up in the action when blood flowed like water in a stream during spring. I’d estimate that filmmakers used enough of the red stuff to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool.
I’m giving Dead Snow 3 ½ dismembered bodies out of 5. The ½ being for my favorite scene, a moment shot from the point-of-view of someone being eaten by zombies. I’ve never seen anything like it before… except at the moment of my own death. This is a good movie to watch on a lazy weekend afternoon. I’d skip the popcorn, though.
The Walking Dead: Chupacabra (205) Reviewer: RC Murphy
This episode had a lot going for it. A. Lot. So much so that I had to sleep on an idea on how to tackle this review. Which, by the way, didn’t help one dang bit. My head is still spinning. The writers for TWD are mean, mean people. I’m just going to jump right in and hope this makes sense.
Carol broached the subject of an internal power ranking system for the original group of survivors. For Hershel’s family, it is obvious who is in charge. With the other group it gets fuzzy because there are so many males vying for that top spot. You have to look at them like a pack of wolves. As Carol sees it, and others as well, Rick and Lori are the Alpha mating pair. Where it gets murky is trying to rank the rest of the group. Who is the Omega member? That one person left to fend for them self until they prove their worth, takes the brunt of everyone’s aggression, but also is there to ease tension in their own way. Can you guys figure it out?
Glenn and Maggie get a lot of grief this episode as people begin to connect the dots and see something brewing between the two. Maggie is treated like a child, scolded for making the decision to get close to someone not approved by Hershel. He has such a tight grip on everyone who lives on that farm that the idea of one of his slipping free to interact with the newcomers tweaks his nose big time. She’s lonely and wants to reach out to feel alive again after god knows how long of simply existing. Glenn flat out admits to Dale his reason behind wanting Maggie. Any day could be his last. In a world where the dead don’t stay dead nothing is certain, least of all tomorrow. That being said, poor Glenn needs lessons in wooing a lady. Maybe Shane, the ladies man that he is, can teach him a few things. Or not. Shane can gather notches on his headboard, but none of them are meaningful relationships. I don’t think he’s capable of that.
Speaking of, Shane makes a very telling statement about the passage of time after the zombie outbreak:
“It’s like we’re old folks, the people in our story are all dead.”
They’ve been living on the run for less than a year, from what I can tell. In that time everyone they knew, except for the family and friends traveling with them, have probably been eaten, turned to walkers, or just died. A year for your life to flip completely upside down and turn “I know her” to “I knew her”. It’s really a hard concept to grasp. This also means that time is not measured in days, but resources. Rick’s guilt over leaving Sophia doesn’t cause Shane to lash out about time wasted, but people injured or killed during the hunt. Yes, people are resources, especially after you’ve established a camp and everyone has their separate duties to uphold.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the Dixon brothers. Honestly, when I heard Merle would be back I could not figure out how the heck the writers were going to make that one work. A lot of far-fetched things happen on the show, but the long-lost brother walking out of the shrubbery? Impossible.
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[Slight spoiler below. If you haven’t watched, turn away now.]
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That being said, how messed up does your family have to make you in order for your subconscious to kick up the image of your abusive, druggie brother to play cheerleader? I mean, it is very obvious that Merle never did anything to help Daryl, even when he was a child. Daryl has been left to fend for himself over and over again by his brother. So what the heck? Leaning on personal experience, I know how far one will go to prove to their sibling that they aren’t needed any more. Everything is moving on just fine without them there to muck up the gears. Even in the end of that scene, Daryl did not reach for Merle. He got himself out of the bad situation. Only to walk into another one that he has no control over. No Merle cheerleader to provoke him into action that time.
Normally I’m all about women fighting against gender roles and branching out to do “manly things”. Unfortunately, Andrea goes about it all wrong. She is very fragile emotionally, I get that. The last few weeks of her life have been spent planning how to opt out of existence so she can join her dead. Then Daryl pops some sense into her head, but she is still torn. If she can’t leave then she wants a bigger role; she wants to move up within the “pack”, so-to-speak. Her drive to be more nearly costs someone their life. Where is that line between challenging the “norm” and knowing when to fall back and follow orders? Andrea crossed it, no doubt about that. Will this incident throw her back into where she was or can she press on with her reforming backbone?
One last note… Who the heck is in the barn?! I want to hear your theories about the barn’s occupants. Next week we’ll see if any of us were correct.
I’ll be honest from the get-go; guns aren’t my thing. Yes they are incredibly useful distance weapons and we all know that you don’t want to get in biting range of a zombie, but guns are also loud. They draw unwanted attention. Not to mention without training and practice, are more of a hindrance than help. This isn’t the movies. You aren’t going to be able to pick up a discarded handgun, then blast your way through a zombie horde. At best you might catch one good shot before exhausting what’s in the magazine.
Nevertheless, handguns do serve a purpose and we at the Zombie Survival Crew strive to make sure that you are prepared for anything that’ll come your way during the Zombiepocalypse.
During this lesson, we will take a look at a few types of handguns and cover their specs. It’s important to know your weapons on the off chance you do stumble across one. Knowing where the safety is on a semi-automatic pistol could save your life. Just sayin’…
First up, revolvers. Honestly, these are as basic as a handgun can get with very little to remember on the How-To end of things. Since this is a crash-course, we won’t delve into the differences between single-action and double-action revolvers. Any revolver you encounter is likely to be double-action anyways. This means that the gun has no safety to disengage, but the first shot you take (without cocking/pulling the hammer back) will require quite a bit of effort. Each subsequent shot will be easier, but remember, with most revolvers you only get six shots before you must reload.
That doesn’t leave a lot of room for error or squeamishness. If you’ve acquired a revolver to use against the undead, make each and every shot count. Reloading without a speed loader is time-consuming and almost impossible to do with shaking/bloody hands. I’d suggest saving your revolver for a backup or last-ditch weapon should you find yourself in a bind.
Below are notes on a pair of revolvers. You will notice that they are very similar with only a few differences in weight and manufacturing.
Gun specs-
Smith and Wesson M66:
Cylinder capacity: 6 rounds- .357 magnum cartridge
Double action. Reliable. Light enough for comfortable carry.
Flaws: LOUD. Draws attention. May kick too much for untrained shooters. Preferred police revolver (though most have opted for a semi-auto pistol now, leaving the S&W as a backup weapon).
Colt Python:
Cylinder capacity: 6 rounds- .357 magnum cartridge
Boasts a smooth trigger pull, accuracy, and is a double-action.
Flaws: Cylinder misalignment after heavy shooting poses possible injury from burning gunpowder or cause gun to misfire when used in double action capacity (opposed to cocking the hammer back on the first shot). HEAVY compared to other pistols.
Now we’ll move on to the semi-automatic pistols. There are about five billion different breeds of these handguns, I’m sure of it. Each manufacturer has their own way to load a magazine, disengage the safety mechanism… you name it and they’ve strived to make it unique to their brand of guns. I’ll try my best to cover some of the basics.
The main difference you are going to see between semi-autos is the safety. Older pistols and civilian weapons have an external safety, which must be disengaged in order to fire the gun. The most likely place for the safety is on the rear of the gun where your right thumb can easily maneuver the mechanism. However, there is a new trend with semi-automatics that bypasses the safety altogether. These newer weapons, used by police and the like, use a double-action system similar to the revolvers we learned about moments ago. They possess a harder trigger pull for the first shot, with a normal pull for each shot after that. To be on the safe side, look for a safety first. If it’s not there, aim at the nearest zombie and fire.
Semi-auto pistols carry more cartridges. That being said, you should still pick and chose your shots wisely. The sound of a gun being fired carries really far and attracts unwanted and hungry attention. Also, just because you have more chances doesn’t mean your aim will magically get better while unloading your magazine into a horde of the undead.
Gun specs-
Browning 9mm Hi-power:
Magazine hold: 13 rounds (14 if 1 round chambered)
Based on single-action design. May be carried with the hammer cocked & safety on (cocked & locked) without risk of misfire. Otherwise the pistol must be cocked manually by thumbing the hammer back or pulling the slide rearward & releasing.
Flaws: Standard trigger pull is heavy without modifications to the magazine safety (voiding warranty). The hammer has a tendency to “bite”, pinch between thumb and forefinger with the hammer spur. Some replace the hammer to a smaller design or relearn how to grip this specific gun to avoid injury.
Beretta 92FS 9mm:
Magazine hold: varies (10,15,18,20) typical: 15
Uses a double-action first trigger pull with single-action pull for subsequent rounds. Open slide prevents jamming.
Flaws: Weight and size may be an issue for smaller hands. Cannot carry cocked & locked. Long trigger pull is deterrent for some. Not much stopping power with the 9mm (compared to .40 & .45 without ammo upgrade).
Double action first shot (approx. 10 pounds of pressure on the pull), subsequent shots are single action (approx. 5 pounds of trigger pull). No external safety. Decocking is done via a button near the hammer.
Flaws: The hard first pull seems to be a detractor, but designers consider it integral to prevent accidental firing during a struggle.
That’s it for the lesson on handgun basics. If you have anything to add on that I’ve over looked, please leave a comment and share with the class.
Remember, if you are going to be serious about learning how to use a handgun, do it responsibly and safely.
I think I’ve figured out why most modern zombie movies are aimed at teenagers. One- Teenagers are very tender. I’m not talking about mushy love stuff, here. Their muscles are still growing, developing. That makes them easier to chew. Two- Sex sells. Easy to understand that, right? Teens are driven by hormones and it is too easy to prey on that. Throw in boobs, a splash of blood and a few intestines; ta-da! instant zombie movie.
Night of the Living Dorks (2004) is the English translation of a really crass, humorous German zombie flick. Actually, it is the only film I’ve reviewed to date that I’ve seen once, before re-watching to review it. Even the undead have funny bones to tickle.
The movie dumps us into the world of three friends who aren’t exactly the most popular kids in school. As a matter of fact, they are laughing stalks, constantly being harassed by the school’s rugby team. And of course, one of the so-called “dorks” has a crush on a jock’s girlfriend. This is where things get weird. In a bid to win her affection, he turns to a group of Goths that dabble in Voodoo in order to convince them to do a love spell. The girl in the group, an old friend (and maybe someone that likes our dork), tells him to meet them at the cemetery to watch a ritual meant to revive the dead.
Needless to say, something went wrong.
Bumbling antics and a good, stiff breeze, alter the spell and after our trio of awkward friends leave the cemetery, they die in a car accident… only to wake up hours later in the county morgue. Great. Now they’re dead, dorky, and still don’t have any luck with the ladies.
Their luck slowly changes. As do their appetites, but devouring humans comes with a price. They begin to decay… and some “favorite” parts are snapped off just when victory is in hand. Luckily one of them carries a staple gun for emergency reattachments. (Can you say, ouch?!)
For them, like so many, the life of a zombie isn’t all they thought it would be and they turn back to the cute Goth girl for a cure. Wimps!
The juvenile humor in this movie alone gets a 3 ¾ severed fingers out of five. It’s American Pie with rotting body parts.
It has to be said, Greg Nicotero and his crew really, really, really outdid themselves for this episode. If you haven’t watched yet, just be prepared for a scene worse than Rick taking an ax to a decomposing walker in season one’s “Guts” episode. Oh, and don’t even think about eating. I had to leave a bowl of ice cream to melt on my side table.
With the nod to outstanding and epic grossness out of the way, lets dig into the meat of the episode. (Did you just gag a little? So did I. Promise that’s the last intestinal pun in this review.)
Can we address the Shane problem? Last week’s review lit off a small debate in the ZSC command center about whether or not Shane acted within reason given the circumstances he was in. I was hoping this week he’d give us a clear direction his head is going, but it became impossible to tell if the guilt eating him alive stems from using a good man as zombie bait or because he feels that he failed Otis in some way by leaving him behind. Later in the episode he tells Andrea that in order to kill you basically have to turn off everything that makes you human and act on instinct. The need to survive is a strong instinct, I’ll give him that. But… wasn’t there another way? A humane way at least?
This episode brought our core group of survivors back together. Once they were all gathered two people stood out, T-Dog and Daryl. T-Dog had a bad patch in the last episode, meaning he lost his ever-loving mind while burning up with a fever. Some of what he told Dale made sense in a way and that is what haunts him. The idea that because the group may see him as weak, it could cost him his spot with them. How rough would things have to get for any of them to look at T-Dog and, essentially, vote him off the “island”? He could simply be paranoid with a bit of brain fry from the infection… or maybe he’s got every right to fear being left behind.
Then you’ve got Daryl who seems from the get-go to want nothing to do with anyone on the farm, whether they are original survivors or part of the new group living there. As soon as they parked he was off into the woods alone. All of that progress he made being a decent man around Andrea vanished. Only thing I can think of is he fears opening up, at least until the Cherokee Rose. Daryl gave Carol a deeper look into himself than he has with anyone. Again he knew exactly what she needed to hear and gave it to her in this wonderfully sad story about the flower. He knows that crying won’t bring him Merle back, but also understands that Carol needs the tears to voice her grief, worry, and the sliver of hope that Sophia will come back.
Seeing where everyone ended up this episode has me rethinking what I said about Glenn last week. I assumed that he would likely jump at the chance to ride at Rick’s side again when he resumes the hero role. Only… Glenn became his own hero this week. Sure there was a lot of awkward moments where he became really goofy and cute, however you’ve got to give the man a hand at lassoing a bloated zombie like that. We know he’s not exactly a smooth talker with the ladies, but Glenn is growing out of the sidekick role if he keeps this up. Go, Glenn, go!
I’ll wrap this up with a quick thought on something Hershel said to Rick. Faith seems to play a huge part in how Hershel approaches life. He sees God’s hand in everything around him. If a rainbow forms after a storm, God sent it. A car hits a man on his way to dinner with his wife; God decided it was his time to go “home”. But, you see, I cannot fathom how his faith holds up when faced with the animated corpse of someone he knew. Is Jesus cleverly disguised in the blood splatter and we just can’t see it because the need to survive has blinded us to faith? Or is Hershel clinging to the one thing he has left to give him hope for his family? That’s got to be it. Mankind will tell themselves anything to maintain hope, even if it means believing in a miracle cure that’ll never come, from God or mankind.
From the desk of ZSC Commander-in-Chief Juliette Terzieff Status: High Priority
Photo: Art Streiber
Kristin Bauer van Straten is perhaps best known for her work as Pam de Beaufort on HBO’s monster hit True Blood. Pam is a beautiful, vicious survivor who has no qualms about sucking the life out of anyone who gets in her way. She does not play well with others. So I’m going to argue no one can blame your commander-in-chief for feeling just slightly apprehensive about approaching her to join forces with Zombie Survival Crew Command.
But in real life Kristin is a beautiful, dedicated campaigner for animals and the environment who generously devotes her time to helping others. She is not only prepared to personally survive a cataclysmic event, she’s a crack-strategist with a plan to help the ZSC – and the general public – survive in style.,/p>
Zombie Survival Crew, please raise your weapons and welcome our newest Commander KRISTIN BAUER VAN STRATEN!!!!!!
The only warning I got before tuning into a replay of this week’s “The Walking Dead” came from my mother, of all people. I told her I needed to catch up, she replied, “All I’ll say is, when Daryl is the sane one, you know things got bad.” With that statement in mind I tuned in… and quickly realized how right she’d been.
I’ll get back to Daryl in a moment, but we’ve gotta talk about Shane. This man strives to be the hero that Rick is, and fails miserably. He tries too hard. Doesn’t plan his strategy. Shane barges in headfirst and damn anything or anyone that gets in his way. That would be a good trait except for the fact that Shane’s motives are purely selfish. He didn’t go off to fetch supplies for Carl. He rode into the sunset, hoping that the display he made would get him back in Laurie’s good graces. I spent a good chunk of the hour grinding my teeth at Shane.
And because Shane has his head wedged, Glen is beginning to have an identity crisis. His main purpose in the first season was to be the sidekick to the hero. Well, our actual hero isn’t in the game. He’s sidelined with his family, holding their breath to see what the future holds for Carl. Glen can’t help there and he realizes it. The guy trying to be the hero isn’t, leaving Glen to flounder around searching for someone to connect to that he can help. It seems he’s found that in Maggie, but what will happen when Rick is ready to don the white hat again? Will his Tonto abandon the potential Maggie presents to be just a sidekick again? Only time will tell there. I don’t even try to predict what TWD’s writers will do. They’re kinda crazy.
Speaking of crazy… I can’t believe my mother was right about Daryl. It is a trip to watch this character slowly open up to the other survivors. From the get-go we were supposed to think he’s like his brother, but this episode shot that to hell. We actually see Daryl for the first time. It isn’t the hardass squirrel killer in those woods with Andrea, but an intelligent man who was given the short stick in life and still managed to make the best of it. The way he dealt with Andrea and her determination to opt out of life was brilliant. This is a character to watch, not that you guys weren’t already.
The overall tone of this episode was hopelessness. Each character had a moment when they looked at the world around them and the pressure became too much to handle. Our survivors are beginning to buckle. They are getting desperate and we all know that desperate people do stupid things. The next couple of episodes are going to be interesting, to say the least.
We love our commander of the Green Brigade, Iron E Singleton, and he shows us his love again in a fabulous shout out to the Zombie Survival Crew in his interview with CultureMob.
Here’s what Culture Mob had to say: Another character who has been there from day one (or in the real world, episode 2) is T-Dog. Best known in the show as the guy who drops the keys to the handcuffs that led to Merle Dixon cutting his hand off to escape the cuffs. I had a very cool opportunity to speak exclusively with T-Dog, actor IronE Singleton. Now that the show has been picked up again (there will be a season 3 already announced) the writers are going to have the time to explore and develop all of the main cast including T-Dog.
I’ll admit, I went into this movie fully expecting the name to be the most entertaining part. Aaah! Zombies!! (2007) was originally released under the name Wasting Away and usually when a movie goes from a darn good name to a slapstick one, it bodes ill. Not the case here, folks.
This film makes no bones about it, from the get go you realize it is going to be campy. Campy and well acted. The opening sequence is straight out of a 1950’s era nightmare: Government doctors practicing potentially dangerous experiments on soldiers and all with a catchy tune to liven everything up while things get good and undead. Because of how well this sequence works, I didn’t mind in the least that the footage was in black and white (with select colorization). It just seemed to… work.
I’ve got to hand it to the filmmakers (not an actual hand. I lost one of mine months ago…) they made some very, very smart decisions. One of them being highlighting the way the zombies perceive the world by putting everything in color. It is such a vast difference that you sit up and take notice the first time it happens. Shifting between color and black/white also leads to some comical moments when we’re bounced back and forth between points of view.
Another moment of brilliance, albeit immature brilliance, is the string of disgusting food jokes throughout the flick. Yeah, I know its stupid for a zombie to get grossed out by food jokes, but there were a few stomach-churning concoctions devoured that forced me to look away for a moment, and not to grab a snack, either. Nacho cheese and chocolate? Puke me a river.
There was a moment while watching that I forgot to take notes. (Yes, even zombies need notes to write reviews off of.) My last coherent note is, have the duct tape handy. Aaah! Zombies!! will make you split your sides open laughing, and that is the best part. Hardcore zombie movies are all well and good, but sometimes we need to sit down and simply laugh. This is the film to get your laughs with. I give this movie a shiny gold brain sticker.
Don’t ask me why I’m on a foreign movie kick lately. They are just… there and some of them happen to look halfway decent before clicking play. Dead Snow (2009) is a good example of judging a book by its cover. The poster art for this film was what caught my interest while looking for the next movie to sink my remaining teeth into. So, I thought, why not give it a go?
