You’ve been hiking through the wooded areas of the Pacific Northwest, keeping an eye peeled for zombie activity. Things have been a bit quiet — which is good, you’re not complaining … when BAM! Out of nowhere, your sweet tooth kicks in and it’s running on overdrive. You eye your fellow travelers and wonder whether sweetbreads really are sweet. After doing a quick check to make sure you haven’t been bitten without realizing it, you notice some bushes in the distance.
Boo-yah!!! You’ve hit the jackpot. Wild blackberries for everyone. All you have to do is pick them. Then the monster idea hits… Blackberry Cobbler. A desert for kings served up camp-style for you and your fellow Zombie Survival Crew members.
- Grab whatever you can find to hold the berries and dance your way to the berry patch.
- Post a sentry to make sure no wandering zombies, or hungry bears try to fight you for the berries.
- Do NOT walk through the patch of nettles. Or at least make sure you’re wearing boots and the thickest pair of socks you have with you.
- Pick as many berries as you can carry. While some will go in the cobbler, the berries are great to eat on the go, and have plenty of antioxidants and all sorts of other good things for you.
- When you get back to camp, melt a stick of butter (or margarine) over the fire.
- Mix together 1 cup of self-raising flour, 1 cup of sugar, and 1 cup of milk.
- Pretend it is zombie brains and beat well.
- Pour the melted butter into a 2-quart-ish pan (if you didn’t melt it in the pan to begin with)
- Pour the floury, sugary goodness over the butter — BUT DO NOT STIR.
- Add berries (about a quart to the mixture). DO NOT STIR
- Keep on the fire until the crust rises over the berries and turns golden brown.
- Try not to drool while waiting.
- Serve hot with a little cream, or for a real treat, a scoop of ice cream … if you can find any.
This tasty treat is a favorite of the Purple Brigade leader and has the Oracle stamp of approval. Oh, and if you have an oven available, preheat to 350F.