Twenty-Sided, Die: Review for iZombie 309 by A. Zombie
This week, Liv turns into a Dungeons and Dragons dungeon master. Only, she’s a cartoon of a human interested in table top gaming and ends up dramatically narrating everything. The second the brain is inconvenient, Liv magically remembers she can pilfer leftover Fillmore-Graves brain goop from Major. So the writers dragged yet another subculture through the mud, got a lot wrong according to my expert, and dropped the gag because it was too annoying to bring into Liv’s new relationship? Okay, sure.
There’s no resolution to this case, either. After the DM is poisoned during a gaming session, the red herring winds up being Dan the DM’s secret hobbit-fetish driven relationship with fellow player Zoe, and how the three other men in their gaming group likewise wanted to date her. I’ll admit, I almost turned off the TV and walked away from the episode. First, Ravi calls the gaming group nerds several times in a five minute span, then they bring on yet another case of Jealous Man Syndrome, in theory placing the blame for the murder on a completely innocent woman through her romantic choice. But she had nothing to do with what happened to Dan, because Dan was a secret international hacker. The FBI takes the case from Clive and Liv, leaving it all up in the air, along with the stench from all those decomposing, ancient DnD jokes they resurrected like it hasn’t been Hollywood’s favorite pastime to demoralize “geeks” since the Eighties.
Bringing the FBI into the case does allow the writers to kick Clive one more time via a face-to-face with Bozzio. She’s taking Dan the Dungeon Hacker’s case, yet absolutely refuses to take any BS from Clive when he runs outside to catch her before she’s gone for good again. We seriously need more scenes like this for Clive. He’s been the robot detective for three seasons, with half-second glances at something more under the scowl. I’d gladly follow the show for more from emotionally-expressive Clive, even if Liv were to bite the dust in the zombie/human war.
Major needs no help getting all up in his feels. With yet another new lease on life, Major stews in his recent past, cataloging what few good things remain after becoming the Chaos Killer . . . or Chaos Kidnapper, rather. There’s no shortage of motivation, Ravi has a trunk-load of hidden hate-mail from the CK era. Within the mountain of anger is one letter showing compassion. Shawna writes that she’s also found herself in a situation where she’s blamed for something she didn’t do and invites Major to reach out to talk anytime. He takes her up on the offer after watching Justin and Liv leave for Baracus’ fundraiser. Shawna doesn’t seem completely crazy, so there’s a chance Major gets to do something other than mope soon.
The Travelers may not be the bumbling fools we hope they’ll turn out to be. During the benefit, someone shoots Baracus. Things with these guys needs to wrap up quickly before the body count grows.
Ravi almost manages to be the savior he’s convinced he needs to be in order to woo a woman. While in the Travelers meeting, he steps in to put a kibosh on Harley Johns’ idea to kidnap a zombie, starve it, and live broadcast the outcome via internet to expose zombie-kind. The problem? These yokels have no clue how dangerous a cornered zombie can be. Outing himself as a morgue worker, and former CDC employee, Ravi warns them about a zombie’s ability to infect with a scratch. The mob calms down and agrees to the rational plan—wait for Ravi’s cure so if anyone is injured, he can cure them. Hint, there’s no way Ravi’s following through with that idea. He only needed to buy time.
Not nearly enough time, it seems. Thanks to Blaine’s little blue brain experiment, the Travelers have their hands on a genuine zombie . . . Don E. The dude stumbled into the street, tripping hard on doctored war veteran brain. The visions from Blain’s double-strength memory-enhanced brain are all consuming, pulling Don E. from the real world so much, he’s only aware of danger after Johns locks him in the back of his van and delivers him to Ravi. I mean, at least the dude isn’t at a secret government lab, but this means Ravi has to not only extract himself from the hate group, but also rescue an addle-brained zombie.
At peace again, Peyton actually has energy to focus on work. First priority? Figuring out what happened with Weckler. The best way to learn about a person after their death is to talk to someone they trusted with their deepest secrets. This expert laughed at the notion that Weckler, distraught after losing his wife, would spend his meager income on a dominatrix. Which is pretty much what I’d already figured out. So who’s the puppeteer behind the mentally unstable man? It’d be easier to list the powerful men in town who hadn’t paid tribute to the deceased dominatrix; finding one man amongst her client list with that kind of sway over legal matters isn’t going to be easy.
Perhaps the answer just slithered back into town. We wrap this week by saying hello to Boss as he’s smuggled into Seattle. This can’t be good. His Unfinished Business list is longer than my arm. Drat. Peyton just got her life somewhat together, too.
Next week, make sure the Ghostbusters are on your speed dial. Hopefully the episode will be a nice pallet cleanser going into the final episodes. I’d certainly like to laugh instead of groan during the show.
Reviving that which is Not Dead Yet by R.C. Murphy
One does not simply march into Cannes four months after dropping what was billed as the final film in a franchise and announce a new six-film deal to revive it.
But that’s exactly what Martin Moszkowicz, chairman of the board for Constantin Film, did during the international film festival. With absolutely no plan under their belt, the production company, which already owns film rights to Resident Evil, announced hopes for a six-film arc in an upcoming reboot. Variety scooped the original interview, but couldn’t get any juicy details from the chairman during their chat. Probably because no one was ready for him to jump out and announce something this big so soon.
Days after Moszkowicz’s Variety interview, Deadline dug up more dirt on this poorly-timed revival. According to them, the first film installment will be directed by James Wan (Saw, Aquaman). Wan made a name for himself in the horror industry, delivering films which on the page could become utterly ridiculous, but often end up being at the very least fun thrill-rides for the audience. I’ll never forget the night I sat to watch Dead Silence as a joke and wound up sleeping with the lights on. His work on Saw set the tone for virtually every scary flick released after 2004. It’s almost natural for anyone working in the genre to court Wan, and I don’t blame the RE team for wanting someone solid to lead the charge.
The wildcard in Constantin Film’s plan is the writer slated to bring a new voice to the franchise which earned $1.2 billion in its lifetime. Greg Russo is currently working with Wan on the upcoming Mortal Kombat revival. And that’s about it for his film writing career from what I managed to find. As a RE fan, that’s cause to raise a brow. A seemingly untested writer is handed one of the largest horror franchises with no notice and no plan from the production company besides grabbing Wan and apparently whoever he’s currently tied to professionally. A few articles said the MK script wasn’t half bad. But Constantin Film still demands massive faith from fans if they expect us to forgive rushing the original franchise into its grave, then they hand the lot to someone we’ve never heard of except that he’s working with a well-known horror director.
Wan’s name alone won’t make Resident Evil live again. Constantin Film hung the future for the reboot onto Russo’s ability to capture the magic which made the games so popular and drove the film franchise into horror history. It’s almost too much pressure to put on one person. Like someone simply walked up on Monday and said, “Here, we just told the public this is the last movie, but we’re going to have you rewrite the entire thing from the start. Don’t muck it up.” As a writer, I’d run far from that offer.
Keep in mind, there is no actual script yet. Everything has been announced, but all parties are currently focused on other productions. It’s entirely possibly Constantin Film will never get the Resident Evil reboot off the ground, or they’ll change the main production team before filming begins. These folks want to talk a big game in order to remain relevant, or simply to keep the film rights. There’s no planning behind this announcement; it’s giving me little faith in what’s to come.
Jovovich, the face of the film franchise since its inception, delivered this parting shot for the new Resident Evil team during an interview with ComicBook.com. “I would suggest that you find people that have that same passion for the property before you talk about reboots. I think if you get into this kind of genre, people are very sensitive to fakes. There’s some real fans in the sci-fi/action/horror world, and they’re not idiots. They can smell when something is done because people love it and when something is done just to monetize an opportunity.”
If you were given the monumental task of writing the first Resident Evil reboot film, what changes would you make to the universe, or do you prefer the tale laid out by the original series? Personally, I dig the idea of a reboot because they never did reach the universe’s full potential. However, the timing makes this news like dancing in the cooling ashes of a funeral pyre. It’s the ultimate case of, “Too soon, bro.”
Eat a Knievel: Review for iZombie 308 by A. Zombie
Didn’t anyone on the iZ team look at the optics of a jealous white guy burning a black man alive for impregnating his white girlfriend during an ill-considered prank? We’re not above the race talk in a zombie setting. We’re certainly not allowed to forget that unconscionable crimes are perpetuated against people of color all over the United States thanks to the vitriol coming from the sitting president’s supporters. Yet again I’m left to wonder if this show’s production staff is horrifically isolated from the world or if they’re willfully ignoring the negative messages laced throughout this last season in particular. They have a whole sub story about chasing down men committing zombie hate crimes, then stage a murder where a young black man is burned alive for defiling another man’s “property.” In a world with infinite possibilities, countless ways to murder, and the ability to combine any color of people in a situation, these writers opted for too many instances of white men killing people of color. Let’s not forget, the Travelers are primarily white Republican types and their first known victims were a black family.
It’s not okay for the writers to make a buck on killing people of color. It’d be great if they quit preaching that women who step out of line will lose their lives or suffer great personal loss. Just knock it off already. It’s not entertaining. You’re attacking your target demographic! There’s no rational reason to target women and people of color so often. None. If that is truly all these writers can come up with, it’s time to put iZombie to pasture and give the money to creatives who’ll bring some actual representation to women-led shows and not trot them out like a freakshow.
The gimmick of the week: Liv eats an immolated professional prankster, tries to staple a guy’s tongue, and channels her destructive nature into a weird “same brain” date with Justin—which includes impalement by lawn dart.
Fillmore-Graves is left scrambling when someone, likely Travelers, blows up the corporate helicopter with Vivian Stoll and her advisors on board. This happens moments after Stoll privately outs Major as human and demands answers, along with a sit-down with Ravi. Major gets another chance to die for zombie kind, hooray. The new commanders seem far tenser than Stoll. I wouldn’t be surprised if the first act of outright zombie/human war comes from Fillmore-Graves. That bunch has itchy trigger fingers.
Blaine hatches a plan. Boy does it work well. There’s just one catch. He had to turn zombie again in order to put everything into motion. Once Blaine is back on his feet, he wipes out all of Angus’ goons. It’s rather impressive to watch Blaine now compared to Blaine pre-human. It’s the same man. Same memories. But this Blaine is flat-out done. He’s either going to rule the city or bite a bullet. So far, everything going in his favor. Good ol’ pops isn’t as lucky. Well, I hope he can hold his breath. The upside to another hostile deBeers takeover is Don E. and Blaine teaming up again to expand on the base Angus founded with The Scratching Post and all those back office meetings.
The episode wrapped with Liv leaving Ravi alone to infiltrate the anti-zombie hate group. Yeah. Like that’s going to end well. None of this will end well. War is knocking on the door.
Dirt Nap Time: Review for iZombie 307 by A. Zombie
So while Liv should have still been in the mood to shrug off the MIA home-brewed drugs, she winds up stalking Blaine. Sure. Pummeling that smug face probably felt great at the time. But does she really think he’s going to buckle under her form of strong-arming when he’s faced off with his reptilian-hearted father for decades, always emerging from each scrape wiser and eager to fight again? Nah. She’s nowhere near his intimidation level. By the episode’s end, he’s also reached the “nothing left to lose” stage. Stealing the cure and lying to Liv’s face is only step one. I foresee a sharp left and a lot of, “What the hell, Blaine,” in the future. The lone wolf is about to go on a hunt.
That’ll put a kibosh on Don E.’s fun, for sure. Right now, he’s still living it up. Zombie prostitutes. Free-flowing booze. Zombies happily munching on the overly-priced brain cuisine. He’s created a little slice of hedonistic heaven in Seattle, and only the dead can enjoy it. The dead and Major, that is. The Fillmore-Graves crew got a tip about the speakeasy. Major’s crew is tasked with checking it out. That’s the “official” order. Really, the guys take a night to blow off steam after losing one of their own on that last mission. While the others get to know the professional women in the back rooms, Major’s new humanity is outed privately by Justin—note, Don E. vouched for Major at the door to bypass the pepper test. You gotta feel for Major. He hasn’t held a steady job since Liv started eating brains for the greater good. His skill set was honed for one purpose during his zombienapping days, and the only place who won’t balk at an accused serial killer collecting a paycheck happens to be run by zombies. Zombies who are highly suspicious of humans. So suspicious, Fillmore-Graves has bodyguards on Baracus to keep their high-level government zombie alive through the incoming storm of zombie hunters like Harley Johns. Johns and his pal do make an attempt to reach Baracus, but their real purpose was simply to provoke the zombies in order to capture video evidence. Which Justin provides after they run him over. That footage is going to cost lives.
Liv’s new beau isn’t off to a good start.
Yeah, that’s a thing. The pair go on a kinda-date to The Scratching Post in order for Liv to question Don E. about the missing cure. Before they find the busy business owner, they spend hours lost in conversation. Because the brain Liv’s on this week turned her into a weird hyper-happy person who listens to others rather well, but talks to them like they’re a three year old. I don’t find it attractive.
The case-of-the week involves a school teacher, Jamie Brennan, and his trio of lovers—all lovingly hand-picked from the parents of his class, with the staff’s full knowledge, and no official reprimand for bringing his personal life into professional life in destructive ways since he has new lovers every year and they inevitably cause a scene at the school. Sure. I believe that. And cows will headline in this winter’s big budget rendition of The Nutcracker. We were never supposed to focus on the womanizer who ends up dying by nail gun, but instead focus fell on his lovers. Macy’s love life in particular takes center stage once the writers attempt to bring in the notion of polyamory/open relationships. In reality, they wrote yet another cheating wife, jealous husband story. Which we’ve seen in probably half the cases Liv solves. Someone on the writing staff needs therapy which doesn’t involve writing out their relationship issues to foist on this show’s poor actresses.
Peyton’s still dealing with the fallout from Liv poorly handling Weckler’s interrogation—the lead suspect in the dominatrix murder and subsequent blackmail case. Not only are there holes in the testimony, but the man’s lawyer thinks there’s something larger at play. He’s right. Weckler won’t part with the memory card in order to make a deal because something on it is worth enough to a third party to keep him alive. Until another lawyer butts in. Thorne boots Weckler’s lawyer, tells Peyton off, and the next day Weckler is found dead in his cell. Nothing suspicious there, folks. Liv’s really botched this case for Peyton.
This is something I’ve waited for them to add to the show. What happens when Liv’s recklessness and egomania isn’t enough to get the job done? She’s certain she’s the end-all, be-all when it comes to getting inside the head of the victim to give them a voice after death. But, come on. Liv barely does her morgue job some weeks. She’s abusive to her boss, Ravi. The number of times she’s embarrassed Clive or committed morally questionable interrogation techniques is astronomical. Let’s face it, Liv sucks at her self-appointed mission. She’s still guilt-eating all these murder victims, with no actual care for the people they were or the families they left behind. All Liv wants is a pat on the head for solving a murder with no pesky laws or moral clauses to worry about. So what if she gets fired? She’s a zombie. Eat a brain, obtain new skills long enough to actually learn them, and go get you a new job. What will the humans in Team Zombie do if Liv continues to not consider the impact of her yo-yo personalities? Will Fillmore-Graves hire them after Liv ruins them like with Major? I think not.
Liv thinks becoming human again will fix her life. Much like in the first episode, I see a character too self-centered to do anything but insert herself in the middle of a hurricane because everyone’s talking about it, then blames family and friends for pushing her. In reality, they jumped in to save her and were blown against the brick wall that is her ego.
Some Like it Hot Mess: Review for iZombie 306 by A. Zombie
Clive wraps the case, suddenly Liv’s under no geas and is free to express her natural self. This leads me to believe the writers and production team knew the Sweet Lady Pain gimmick was a turd in the punch bowl. Yet they ran with it. For what purpose? To further deride sex workers in pop culture? Yeah, no. This isn’t something they can pass off as, “Oh, well, the brains wear off.” Liv rode Janko’s brain until she collapsed, utilizing the mercenary’s self-control to lock down her emotions after Drake’s final death. That took a while. Liv ditched the leather and whips on day two or three. She didn’t over-exert herself in any fights. Nor was she forced to heal any serious wounds. Both would take extra nutrients to heal, possibly explaining how Liv’s typical meal schedule wouldn’t be sufficient. Or we could just say, the writers messed up. They know they messed up. They went to great lengths to make us forget it by rushing Liv into a narcissist’s brain, therefore pitting her against everyone and causing drama. This is akin to tying shiny paper around nectarine tree limbs as a distraction so the birds won’t take the fruit, but truth is, the birds will always get what they want. What fans want is a show with a woman at the helm who isn’t deliberately knocked down to become the laughing stock in order to cover poor decisions from the production staff. I, for one, will keep checking this tree to see if there’s anything worthwhile to digest. There’s so much potential. It’s trapped behind a messy patriarchal wall, though.
Liv isn’t the only woman on the show getting this flavor of treatment in the writers’ room. Peyton still suffers barbs from Ravi over her personal life, only for every crappy thing he’s said to be proven right so Peyton is obligated to apologize. Apologize to the man so obsessed over who she’s kissing, he hopped in bed with a woman he detests? Are you kidding? But, it happens. This week’s case is centered on the victim, Yvonne, and her affair with a married club owner, with a jealous coworker red herring. Who actually offed the self-centered party girl? The roommate she screwed over. A woman, by the way. Not one of the sexually-motivated angles Clive and Liv investigate produces a lick of information. I dare not go back to count how many of the women who’ve died on the show were given a similar treatment, but off the top of my head it’s already too many. And when the victims themselves aren’t interesting sexually—because of race, weight, age, etc.—a side character, like Rhonda in episode 304, is tapped to fill the position. Could we not?
For a fun writing exercise, I’d like iZ writers to pen a script which has no mention whatsoever of sex. It happens in shows lead by men all the time! Why is it any different for Liv? She’s a zombie! That’s rather interesting on its own. Add in her career choice and it’s a story all in itself. With so much story fodder, why the obsession with the women on the show having sex? This isn’t how you present women’s sexual liberty. Go back to the drawing board.
Major is back to his puppy-dog-esque self after taking the cure. Ravi isn’t as calm. He obsessively tests Major’s memory. He’s so desperate to save his bro, he asks Liv—doped on dingbat brain—to take shifts watching their human-again friend. Which, of course, she doesn’t even bother trying to do. In an attempt to do one last good thing before he loses himself, Major takes an unannounced trip to visit his family. Cue panic. Flailing. And a big ol’ truth bomb dropped on Peyton like a load from a rhino’s backend. Blaine faked it. Well, most of it. The cure does indeed strip memories, but it’s more like a hard reboot than a full wipe. It took a couple days for Blaine to remember his old ways, and he hated it. He hid the truth to start over. Great news for Major, but Blaine’s lies put Peyton in an awful position yet again.
A functional cure also means Liv can finally stop being a pawn for whatever weird fantasies the writers are working out on the page.
Or not. See, the cure’s gone missing. There’s only one real suspect in Team Zombie’s mind.
Don E. has a regular at his bar who’s flat-out tired of the brain game and wants out without eating the end of a pistol. Being the ultimate businessman, Don E. skips over to the morgue to present Ravi with a lucrative deal, they split the money from the rich guy and hand over the cure. No go. Ravi has a finite amount of serum and probably has names to go with most of them on his mental list. Obviously there’s a demand for the cure. Who’s always around when there’s an opportunity to exploit? Yeah, Don E. is the usual suspect this season. But in this case, he’s the scapegoat when Blaine absconds with the remaining syringes of the serum. It looks like he’s going to make a new designer drug for the dead set based off the blue memory goo. So why take the cure, too? My guess is population control. Slip the cure into his drug and watch Angus lose his brain-munching customer base. It’s Blaine, the sky’s the limit with his scheming ways. He may surprise me.
Spanking the Zombie: Review for iZombie 305 by A. Zombie
Once we hit the last ten/fifteen minutes, the tone for the show was so changed, I had to pause and take a lap around my cell to wrap my mangled mind around the sharp turn from lambasting sex workers to showing nothing but care for how Major transitions into a memory-less life. The change need only be measured in one fact: Liv’s overbearing dominatrix personality is nowhere to be seen during Major’s ordeal. There is no room for ridiculous behavior in his scenes, but Liv’s life is nothing but a joke. The creators even jest about her sex life in comic-con panels. They act like it’s perfectly okay for any woman to suffer a series of horrific personal losses while continuing to subject herself to ridiculous, debasing scenarios for other’s benefit, yet she receives no recognition for her efforts. How can anyone look at the sensitivity presented to Major, but repeatedly denied to Liv and suggest the writers have women’s best interests in mind? They don’t. The dominatrix story line should have never left someone’s list of questionably-witty brain gimmicks.
Okay, that’s off my chest. Now for the hardest part of all . . . I really enjoyed those last fifteen minutes. There hasn’t been that much genuine emotion on this show in too long. My heart sat in my throat the entire time they said their goodbyes. Where has this been for the last year? Can we order more writing of that caliber from here on out? I’d gladly shut up about the more ridiculous show aspects if we could treat the ladies’ emotions with the same compassion.
On to the case. Clive catches a two-week old case from a colleague involving a professional dominatrix, Roxanne—A.K.A. Sweet Lady Pain. Her body was passed on to a crematorium, but Ravi lifted her brain to test his memory serum. Convenient. He couldn’t have kept literally anyone else? Ravi’s sexual problems keep interfering with others’ lives, yet no one calls on him to fix his behavior.
Once dosed with the serum-soaked brain, Liv is unbearably domineering. It’s embarrassing on a soul-searing level to watch such a creative actress forced to deal with this script. Liv’s visions focus solely on Roxanne’s clients. There’s no mention whatsoever about this woman’s personal life. She’s a prop to bring sex back to the forefront of this show. Roxanne’s clients happen to be the same group of weird, sexually repressed white men who typically appear when sex professionals are murdered—Frost, Stone, and Baracus. Frost and Stone band together after separately lying to the police to point a finger at Roxanne’s stalker and possibly the one blackmailing Frost with footage from his sessions under Sweet Lady Pain. Team Zombie sets up a money drop to catch their guy. Clive’s bumrush with the food cart is probably my favorite stunt on the show so far. I don’t know why. It just is.
At the police station, Liv does a crap job of intimidating the blackmailer. He folds under such weak pressure, confessing with a lot of wishy-washy language. Huh? That’s anticlimactic. There’s no righteous justice served. Roxanne’s murder is wrapped as quickly as possible to make way for Major’s big scene.
Zombie society is slowly banding together to face the threat posed by Harley Johns and his fellow Travelers—that’s the name I thought he said, but I could’ve had a bug in my ear. Johns has enough proof to pose a serious threat to Fillmore-Graves’ plans for Seattle. He also has a whole load of batcrap crazy ideas on how to go about protecting humanity. Stoll isn’t idly collecting information from a known threat during the meeting—held at Liv’s suggestion—but takes the chance to bug Johns’ truck so they’re on the same page as the hunters. This sub-story touches on a boatload of human rights issues and is focused on introducing a whole new people into an already tumultuous global community. Seattle isn’t an isolated incident. The city is merely testing grounds for the weapons used during the inevitable conflict. Fillmore-Graves adapted at break-neck speed to their new reality in somewhat overwhelming ways—the chest o’ heads Major found after his stabbing, for instance. There’s no doubt the zombies will find a way to survive and thrive, that is clear now. The humans won’t accept their new neighbors easily. The stage is set for some serious fighting right in Team Zombie’s back yard.
The team is down a man. With war on the horizon, can they find a way to bring the undead and the living together while rebooting Major? Let’s not forget, if Don E continues down his current road, he’ll create an entire generation of zombies all on his own long before Fillmore-Graves or Team Zombie figure it out. A “baby” boom in the middle of tense introductory talks tends to feel more like an invading army, especially since there’s little to no gestation time for the transformation process and zombies emerge as fully functional adults so long as they maintain healthy eating habits. Seattle is a powder keg and both parties keep lighting matches to fling at it.
Halfway through the season and we’re looking at war. That’s some speedy pacing. Next week may slow things a bit. Liv won’t have enough focus after the next brain to tie a shoe, let alone prevent a war.
Too many to count have found their way to the great zombie-free haven in the sky. If one thought other shows were out for main cast blood, while compiling this series, I discovered it has the highest main character death rate, and the secondary characters who’ve bitten the dust likewise captured the audience’s heartstrings. Rarely is a death on this show a “good riddance they’re gone” moment. It just so happens that the adventure-of-the-week storytelling style lends wonderfully to writing many, many deaths because next week, the main cast will find someone else to help them or hunt them. Not to get caught in a pattern, the show’s writers also aren’t afraid to tap side characters to make a comeback, like Sketchy and Skeezy. Unfortunately for those we’re revisiting now, that is not an option.
Move aside, gentlemen. This week we’re catching up with three women who are unforgettable additions to the Z Nation family.
Dr. Merilyn Merch was, for the longest time, the shadowy boogeyman on the show. Murphy’s angst centered on finding the woman who made him the monster he is today. Her moments were few, mere glimpses to keep her relevant until the big reunion on the submarine. Whereas fans were robbed of Cassandra’s personality and uniqueness post-bite, Merch fought off Murphy’s control and regained her sense of self. Boy did she give the big guy a run for his money. Before he caught on to her bid to liberate all enslaved blends, Merch was well on her way to creating an entirely new breed of people who may, in the end, be the only ones who survive the apocalypse. Her strength was admirable.
It takes an equally strong actress to bring a character like Merch to life. Lisa Coronado used her time away from ZN before returning as a series regular in season three to work on Grimm and the crime comedy film Worst Laid Plans, along with a couple short films. Since hanging up her lab coat, she’s worked on a new show’s pilot and appeared in Dead West. When she’s not filming, Coronado is an adiv gamer. In April, she participated in a charity gaming marathon benefitting The Halo Foundation. But the huge news coming from Coronado this year is her involvement in the highly anticipated revival of Showtime’s Twin Peaks, helmed once again by David Lynch (Mullholland Drive). Twin Peaks returns to television May 21st at 9PM.
The person who will probably leave behind the biggest legacy, despite only appearing in five episodes—including a wild fantasy sequence after her on-screen death—is Serena. Her pursuit of Murphy gave us the future for mankind. Maybe. Probably. It’s truly unfortunate Serena didn’t get to see what a hellcat her daughter has grown to become. She’d be the proudest momma in the apocalypse.
A woman like Serena takes an equally willful and zany person to transform her from a running joke in a script to a character who quickly captured fan’s hearts, and funny bones. Sara Coates is just that person. Last year, she joined the casts of Her Story, Dreamland, and Beta Test, also starring Manu Bennett and Larenz Tate. Resident Evil: Biohazard released in January, with Coates providing the voice for Marguerite Baker. Keep an eye out for Coates in Lane 1974 opposite Katherine Moennig, Newly Single with Jennifer Kim and Molly C. Quinn, and she’ll appear as one of many baggage-heavy teachers at an ESL school in the upcoming web series Language Academy.
I’m not sure we’ve seen a villain as grandiose yet terrifying as La Reina on television before. She was the very definition of over-the-top personality. Which made it so easy to believe she could’ve swayed so many to join her Zeroes. No matter how badly we wanted Operation Bitemark to make it to their destination, the mere three episodes with La Reina lured us into wishing, alongside Murphy, that they could stay in Mexico at her compound.
Fortunately, Gina Gershon is never idle and there’s no shortage of films and television appearances to keep fans thoroughly entertained. Gershon is a regular on the ’80s throwback series Red Oaks, playing fabulously dressed Fay Getty. She has also appeared on Empire, Crashing, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Gershon joined Sean Astin and Sammi Hanratty for Bad Kids of Crestview Academy, based on the graphic novel Bad Kids Go 2 Hell. Want a laugh? Gershon, Sean Young, Ralph Macchio, and Jeff Kobler star in Lost Cat Corona, pitting a man against the wild outdoors—okay, his neighborhood—to find his wife’s missing cat in a city of seriously weird people. Coming up this year, Gershon will appear in a modern take on The Little Mermaid. She stars alongside Nicolas Cage and Faye Dunaway in the upcoming drama Inconceivable. On August 25th, Gershon, along with Charlie Sheen and Whoopie Goldberg, will star in 9/11. The film is based on the tragic event and follows a small group as they attempt to escape the World Trade Center’s North Tower.
Wag the Tongue Slowly: Review for iZombie 304 by A. Zombie
This review discusses adult content.
Fasten your seatbelts. The muck is deep on this path.
Let’s just start with the case. A lot of the seriously harmful language toward women comes in during the latter half of the investigation when Clive and Liv bring in coworkers harassed by Cheryl, the office gossip monger who accidentally overdosed from Utopium-laced yogurt. While under the influence of Chatty Cathy, Liv has one vision. It’s a scene from an adult film outing coworker Rhonda as a porn star. That wasn’t the first time the character had been outed; in the backstory, Cheryl exposed Rhonda by sharing her films with the entire company—likely via an illegal download so Rhonda didn’t even profit from the sales. Yeah. Okay, no. That’s not a quirky plot point to exploit for some cheap giggles when The Guys find out the case involves porn. For sex workers who are outed, it’s rarely something they can just brush off. The stigma behind the work instantly pollutes their new work environment. They’re almost expected to perform in some sick corner of their coworkers’ minds. For someone who may want to move past that stage of their life with a clean slate, outing means uprooting and finding a fresh place to start life again. Rhonda doesn’t even react to the second outing, this time to the police and morgue crew, in a believable way. She fluffs her chest and draws focus to her body, indicating that the attention thrilled her in a way. There’s the performance I mentioned, used this time to, I don’t know, talk her way out of the cops looking at her movies? It makes no sense for a former sex worker whose been outed twice in professional settings to wave it off with a flirt. Frustrated? Yes. Angry. Totally. And I don’t buy that crud excuse that she’s hiding her part in the prank-gone-wrong. It’s careless writing which put the character in such a horrible position. They could have done literally anything else when Rhonda formulated a comeback to Clive’s questioning, but by choosing the exploitive route, they’ve failed to uphold the safety of women foremost. The week before Liv traipses down Domme Road, writers demonstrate how much of a train wreck it’ll be by failing to handle Rhonda’s story with any consideration for sex workers as humans.
Then there’s Ravi. At this point the character has to go, or the writers need a good talking to about how to stop enabling awful male behavior by depicting it through a character who used to have a moral compass. They’re obsessed with Peyton’s sex life since Liv isn’t having any and it’s not good television. I pity these women who were brought onto a show which could be so unique, but the story lines written for them are the same two or three plots we see for women in most entertainment. And now Ravi has a terminal case of creepy guy syndrome. If Ravi were a real man, no woman in his social circle would date him at this point in his life. He’s fixated on Peyton’s sex life, without any consideration for her feelings, and fueled by his righteous indignation that she dare sleep with anyone else. Ravi publicly humiliated Peyton and blackmailed Blaine to test a serum he didn’t know would work or kill the guy. He’d rather get drunk and wallow in his sense of betrayal than help a friend do what could possibly be his last mission before he loses his memory. Sleeping with a woman Ravi hates is more preferable than a heartfelt conversation to clear the air with Peyton, but it’s her fault for catching him in the aftermath of the act. The topper is the instant Ravi heard there is an adult star under investigation by their team, he’s practically a walking cartoon penis. Obsession comes hard and fast, and after Ravi binge watches hours of Rhonda’s films, he’s rearing to get his stalk on. The audacity of the writers lies in that they felt no guilt over Ravi stalking a woman who’d been endlessly harassed by the deceased and her coworkers, only for the police to dredge it up again. Yes, Cheryl died from Rhonda’s actions. It was reckless to prank someone with drugs. No one should ever be dosed without consent. That doesn’t give writers license to treat a sex worker with so much disrespect, though. She’s still a human, not a physical embodiment of all sexuality and its perceived evils.
In other matters, Major finally has a solid lead on Natalie. He’s also too close to death for Ravi’s comfort. With that in mind, the dynamic duo band together and bumble through tracking Osborne Oates—some scum-sucking jerk who apparently is way into human trafficking. Through him they find a scary as hell security guard, but most importantly, Natalie’s hideout. There’s a hitch in the plan. Well, other than Major having nothing left to lose and making rash decisions right and left. Natalie won’t leave. She refuses to endanger Major. His last ditch effort to help is to give her his syringe with the cure, plus a warning about the memory loss. While he does escape Natalie’s guard squad, he’s likely heading straight into another mess when his zombie squad deploys on its first mission the next day.
Clive and Liv do make progress with the anti-Z message board. They track a local gun range owner who piques their interest with his posts, and the zombie-heavy advertising for his business. The plot strands tangle again, almost wonderfully so, when Harley Jones turns out to be brother to the Max Rager employee who, literally, lent Clive and Liv a hand at the doomed party. Jones is pretty much who you think he’ll be. White. Not in great shape, but large enough to be threatening. Mouth runs off without his brain fully engaging. The only difference between Jones and other crackpot racists is he has insider information about zombies and poses an actual threat. Despite that, he says he’s not the one who pulled the trigger on Wally’s family. I believe him. He seems to type to brag about horrific decisions. And now I’m going to throw up my eyeball pudding at that thought.
Next week, Domme Brain. I’m honestly not looking forward to it.
Too many to count have found their way to the great zombie-free haven in the sky. If one thought other shows were out for main cast blood, while compiling this series, I discovered it has the highest main character death rate, and the secondary characters who’ve bitten the dust likewise captured the audience’s heartstrings. Rarely is a death on this show a “good riddance they’re gone” moment. It just so happens that the adventure-of-the-week storytelling style lends wonderfully to writing many, many deaths because next week, the main cast will find someone else to help them or hunt them. Not to get caught in a pattern, the show’s writers also aren’t afraid to tap side characters to make a comeback, like Sketchy and Skeezy. Unfortunately for those we’re revisiting now, that is not an option.
This week, we’re saying one last goodbye to three men who kept Operation Bitemark safe, despite their rough edges.
On paper, Mack wasn’t an ideal hero. A hockey player—fresh off the ice, encumbered by pads and skates—with a gentle heart surely wouldn’t make it that far when the zombie apocalypse kicked off, right? Well, this one made it longer than most of humanity. Mack’s survival was thanks in part to finding and helping Addy early in the outbreak. Keeping her safe kept him safe as well. It wasn’t until they split emotionally that Mack’s time started to run out. He got reckless, stopped caring for his survival since it wasn’t tied to hers. The writers weren’t that obvious, but looking back, Addy’s nightmare episode was the beginning of Mack’s end. He said his last goodbye to her, so at least he didn’t die alone without a friend to offer mercy.
Losing Michael Welch on the show was rough on fans. The Addy/Mack dynamic was a rock in the turmoil around Operation Bitemark, with Welch providing a huge chuck of the heart for the show through their romance. After Welch hung up his zombie-stomping boots, he hit the ground running. He’s been on Fox’s Lucifer at the end of its first season, played Franklin D. Roosevelt for Comedy Central’s Another Period, and filmed an episode for ABC’s The Catch. Welch joined Erick Avari and Mary-Margaret Humes in the internet crime drama Chasing Eagle Rock. Where else can fans catch Welch in action? Keep an eye out for M.F.A. also starring Francesca Eastwood and Clifton Collins Jr., A Killer Walks Amongst Us, and The Grounds. Welch, Jack Campbell, and Catherine Kresge joined forces for the film Asomatous, which released earlier this month. There’s a few other projects on Welch’s plate to look forward to, as well.
Vasquez came in later than most of the cast, but nevertheless became an integral reason why the mission to reach California wasn’t a complete failure. Ultimately, Vasquez’s pre-Z past left too many scars on his mind. When his personal losses were too much to handle, he shut down emotionally. When the losses to humanity reached the critical point, Vasquez went a little nutty and left the gang to do his own thing. Paying homage to his fellow traveler’s dark side, Vasquez/Escorpion fashioned himself into the only law enforcement in the death-ravaged land. Take what’s not yours? His Red Hand will make an example of you. But straight-up carnage disguised as justice wasn’t enough to keep the guy from taking a much-desired dirt nap.
Matt Cedeño not only brought another dose of badass to the team, but provided more tension for the show which, without such strong characters, would become a colossal joke. Not an intentional one, either. Cedeño was Z Nation‘s straightman in a way no one else has managed before or sense, giving zanier plots and characters someone to balance against. After saying goodbye to the ZN gang not once, but twice, Cedeño stalked the original vampire family during the third season of The CW’s The Originals. Most recently, Cedeño was made a series regular on Starz’s Power as Cristobal.
What do you do with a problem like Escorpion? He came onto the stage ready to break up the band and take over the world alongside La Reina. Then, like the Grinch, his heart grew while watching a group of misfits come together in order to save humanity, and he threw off the shackles of badguydom. At Roberta’s side, the newly reformed Hector saved the day. A lot. Dude gave it all he had to keep the mission moving, to keep Roberta moving. Losing Hector and Vasquez in the same episode was perhaps one of the cruelest things these writers have done to date.
I swear Emilio Rivera doesn’t sleep. He was busy not only making ZN, but with a few other projects during his tenure on the show. Turning in his tough guy leather, Rivera’s next television roles were both law enforcement. First, Rivera joined Amazon’s Hand of God as Sergeant Kessler. Then on Saints & Sinners, he played Officer Francisco Cooper in the first two episodes of the show’s second season. Rivera’s upcoming projects are numerous, including Loca with Danny Trejo and Danay Garcia, and Badsville starring Robert Knepper and Tamara Duarte. Also keep an eye out for Rivera in Smartass, Time in Between, and he’ll appear alongside Juaquin Phoenix, Jonah Hill, and Rooney Mara in Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot.
Eat, Pray, Liv: Review for iZombie 303 by A. Zombie
Ravi tells Major he’s got a few weeks left before he must take the cure or die. By the episode’s end, I’m certain that time frame is far, far shorter. This guillotine over Major’s memories is held by a single strand on a frayed rope. He knows it. The painful truth is right there in his eyes while watching Liv play that ridiculous dancing game with his new work pal, Justin. One might mistake it as a nudge toward a rekindled relationship. It just so happens that happy friends are one thing Major has lacked since the zombie thing started, and if he’s going out soon, he might as well do as Liv’s brain-influenced babbling suggests—live in the moment. In the moment doesn’t include bland, bagged brain mush. He and Justin break the feeding protocol to imbibe in the real thing. I’m digging this happier Major. How long until he’s forced to take the cure? What if the memory serum doesn’t work—we’ll talk testing ethics later—and he’s rebooted while serving in a zombie mercenary squad? There’s no real good outcome unless Ravi’s serum does indeed reverse the memory snafu, but that opens a whole new world of problems for Major’s future.
The thing with Ravi and Peyton? The plot went to the place it never should have. Why? So Peyton could say some deep, insightful things and be all grr-arg, woman power! And then they turn around and have Ravi learn absolutely nothing from forcing Peyton into a corner where she had to defend not only her right to make decisions for herself, but her right to have sex at all with anyone who isn’t Ravi. The cap on the entire ridiculous story is after Ravi is a sex-paranoid nutjob in front of Team Zombie while professing his love, Peyton goes to him and appears to at least somewhat forgive him with a kiss. But wait, he’s already slept with the woman he swears he hates more than snails hate salt. Why even trot out this moral lesson? All men will see is that Ravi still has sex with an attractive woman, so what’s the problem with how he treated Peyton? You don’t get to berate someone in front of their friends about who they sleep with, mortify them, and win a prize. To assume Ravi can have whoever he wants, whenever he wants because he said he’s sorry is precisely how this show continues to perpetuate unhealthy romantic expectations. It’s obvious in the weird sub plot stating Liv can’t be happy in bed because she’s secretly unhappy and guilt-ridden over her brain-eating. It’s the way Peyton has been used as a fire hydrant in a dog park since the get-go, men marking their territory right and left. It’s Major caring more about women he barely knows, but the two closest to him are constantly in danger, sometimes through his own doing. It’s the writers assuming every non-STEM employed woman Liv eats is secretly a slut, crazy, or too caught up in “being a woman” to have a career. For a show with a woman on all the advertising, it does a crap job at representing them. I know not one woman who would’ve kissed a man after what Ravi said when he emotionally blackmailed Blaine into taking the memory cure. Not. One. A few certainly would’ve punched him, instead. With a fist, not lips. Got that, iZ writers?
Let’s get to the case for the week. Topher is a mindfulness teacher, focused on helping others look past negative thoughts, to live in the moment without fear. During his solo meditation, someone introduces his personal Shambhala to a Buddha statue. Clive and Liv dig up a far different past for the Zen guy. Once upon a time, he was a venture capitalist with partners Mitch and Devon. Things went sideways, someone turned to drugs for start-up money, and Mitch spent years in jail while the other two moved on to become legitimate businessmen and mindfulness coaches. It doesn’t take a genius to solve the crime once they look past the red herring a “random” homeless guy tosses in their way. Topher’s brain is one of the better personalities foisted on Liv, honestly. His case just isn’t that intriguing.
While Liv and Clive seize Mitch’s future moments to pay for his newest crime, Blaine is having one hell of a week. The last problem on his list is the potentially harmful serum Ravi bullied him into testing. The first problem, really the only real problem Blaine should worry about if he were his old self, is Angus. The old man wastes no time letting Blaine know he’s back from the deep freeze, in part as a test, but mostly to see the fear of God in his son’s eyes. Disappointing day for Angus; Blaine only fears the man he used to be, the horrible person he’s forced to face every time someone coughs up a story he can’t remember. After getting his money back from Blaine, Angus sinks it all into a restaurant. His new business will eclipse the under-the-table brain biz Blaine’s running in the mortuary’s basement. We’re talking top of the line service. For the right price, Angus’ new associate, Dino, will secure any brain their customers desire. Don E. is way out of his element, and seriously missing Blaine, but tries to be clever enough not to get dead. That may require more work than he thought. Angus won’t wait for word-of-mouth advertising. Nope. Don E. will make customers to fill Angus’ demands. If everyone thought Stoll had a bad idea for zombies taking over Seattle, DeBeers is about to make it a thousand times worse.
That’s if Katty Kupps doesn’t expose zombies to humans before they do it themselves. She’s close to connecting the dots. Too close. Seattle is a zombie powder keg. Isn’t it great?
There’s no resolution to this case, either. After the DM is poisoned during a gaming session, the red herring winds up being Dan the DM’s secret hobbit-fetish driven relationship with fellow player Zoe, and how the three other men in their gaming group likewise wanted to date her. I’ll admit, I almost turned off the TV and walked away from the episode. First, Ravi calls the gaming group nerds several times in a five minute span, then they bring on yet another case of Jealous Man Syndrome, in theory placing the blame for the murder on a completely innocent woman through her romantic choice. But she had nothing to do with what happened to Dan, because Dan was a secret international hacker. The FBI takes the case from Clive and Liv, leaving it all up in the air, along with the stench from all those decomposing, ancient DnD jokes they resurrected like it hasn’t been Hollywood’s favorite pastime to demoralize “geeks” since the Eighties.
Bringing the FBI into the case does allow the writers to kick Clive one more time via a face-to-face with Bozzio. She’s taking Dan the Dungeon Hacker’s case, yet absolutely refuses to take any BS from Clive when he runs outside to catch her before she’s gone for good again. We seriously need more scenes like this for Clive. He’s been the robot detective for three seasons, with half-second glances at something more under the scowl. I’d gladly follow the show for more from emotionally-expressive Clive, even if Liv were to bite the dust in the zombie/human war.
Not nearly enough time, it seems. Thanks to Blaine’s little blue brain experiment, the Travelers have their hands on a genuine zombie . . . Don E. The dude stumbled into the street, tripping hard on doctored war veteran brain. The visions from Blain’s double-strength memory-enhanced brain are all consuming, pulling Don E. from the real world so much, he’s only aware of danger after Johns locks him in the back of his van and delivers him to Ravi. I mean, at least the dude isn’t at a secret government lab, but this means Ravi has to not only extract himself from the hate group, but also rescue an addle-brained zombie.
