A review of “In the Flesh” season 1 episode 1
By A. Zombie
They’re trying something a little different in the ZSC command center this summer. This time around, my assignment is to tackle the BBC’s breakout hit “In the Flesh.” Let’s not waste any time getting into episode one.
From BBC:
Partially Deceased Syndrome sufferer Kieren Walker returns home to the cauldron of Roarton, but doesn’t receive a warm welcome from all. His parents, Steve and Sue, are undoubtedly pleased to see him, but his sister, Jem, isn’t so ready to pick up where they left off when Kieren died back in 2009. Meanwhile, the zombie-hating Human Volunteer Force, led by the violent Bill Macy, are ready to take action against any PDS sufferer reintegrated on their patch.
Right out of the gate, the show is visually impressive. Detailed, but not overly done effects makeup on the undead. Fully dressed sets. The cinematography adds movement to the first moments, which could’ve been a boring one-sided walkie-talkie conversation. But they killed it when viewers realize they’ve used an age-old trope—opening a show with an action-packed dream or flashback sequence. It’s been done to death. Even with them working it into the plot, explaining that the rehabilitated zombies will suffer side-effects such as flashbacks, it’s not a strong start story-wise.
Where they catch interest is in the way they handle a beaten-to-death zombie plotline. Yes, the zombies rose from the dead. Yes, for quite some time humans were forced to fight against ravenous hordes or die. But instead of seeking to wipe out the undead population, the humans found a way to reboot a zombie’s mind with Neurotripteline and make them mostly human again. The rehabilitated zombies are slowly reintroduced into society. Sure, they have to put on colored contacts and paint their pallid flesh to resemble the living, but it’s worth it to be at home again. Much to the delight of folks in backward small towns.
That was sarcasm.
In Roarton, we’re introduced to the main cast. Some of whom we’ll no doubt grow to like or at least tolerate, like Kieren’s family. Others we can only hope will find the toothy end of a rabid rotter—slang for an untreated zombie. Of the latter are Bill Macy and his pal Vicar Oddie. Bill runs the local zombie killing group, the HVF. In its heyday, the HVF were heroes. Always on the front line against the zombies. But since the rehabilitation program and the PDS Protection Act went into law, most cities disbanded their local HVF chapters. But not good ol’ Roarton. There’s little to no official government involvement in a town so small. The Parish Council rules all, and most of them side with the HVF. Vicar Oddie has his fingers in all the pies. He knows what buttons to push to send his wild dog—Bill Macy—off on the hunt. He uses Bill’s anger after his son’s death for his own gain. Why should these zombies be allowed to come back and live with them when Bill’s son, Rick, remained dead in Afghanistan? We’re shown a brutal example of Bill’s hate toward the end of the episode. What would he do if he knew Kieren were back in town and that one of his own HVF soldiers, Jem, was protecting a zombie? Pretty sure we’ll find out soon enough.
“In the Flesh” may have fresh-faced actors in the lead roles, resembling Warm Bodies, but where the film made light out of the zombie condition—curing it with the power of love—the show shines a blinding light on the hate that can manifest when normal people are faced with something they don’t comprehend. Jem calls her brother a demon when he returns home. She refuses to believe Kieren is actually back until he tells her something only he’d know. And even then, she still hates him because she cannot understand why he killed himself four years prior. Ignorance is the perfect breeding ground for turmoil, and there’s plenty of that in Roarton.
How long until the humans turn on each other? Hate can’t be contained to just one set of people, or not-quite-people in this case. Eventually tempers will get the better of everyone.
No, the title isn’t a typo. The Asylum pros at the horror mockbuster tackled the chance to pit Abe Lincoln against another form of undead after his stint on the big screen going stovepipe-to-fang with a bunch of vampires.
Starring: Bill Oberst Jr., Kent Igleheart, and Rhianna Van Helton. Rated: R (Bloody zombie violence)
Synopsis: Honest Abe tangoed with the undead as a child. Believing his nightmares were long behind him, he moved on to politics and became the 16th president of the United States of America. Now in the midst of the Civil War, the undead are back. They’ve taken over a fort the Union needs in order to gain an upper hand against the Confederates. Abraham Lincoln leads a small company of loyal men into zombie and Confederate territory on a mission to defeat evil once and for all.
The premise held so much promise, along with leading man Bill Oberst Jr. Unfortunately things didn’t mesh up well to make everything work. The script tried too hard to sound like a period piece, leaving some of the actors stumbling over their clunky lines. Some of the notable historical figures, like Abe’s wife, were a mess. I didn’t realize he was married to this woman until an hour into the film, long after she’d been left behind in Washington while Lincoln went on to slaughter zombies with his wicked-sharp scythe. A well-written script will give actors a chance to build a relationship in a short scene. What they were given sounded more like a conversation between friends, possibly cousins. It was not a husband/wife moment. A few other historical figures were sprinkled into the movie. Some were like chocolate chips in a warm cookie. Others stones in room temperature oatmeal. So much of the film was hit-or-miss.
A lot of the film’s action was delivered in dialogue. The zombie attacks are forgettable. I can’t remember one good kill, or a zombie’s actions that stood out from the others. The makeup was standard grey face with mottling, veins, and black blood—the same makeup you’d see at a mid-level professional haunted house during October. Some of the zombie costumes were questionably historical. The women’s skirts in general ran too short for the time period. And at one point, a group of soldiers walks into a whore house, sees the women (living women) in their corsets and underskirts, and acts like it is normal. If a film is going historical, everything needs to mesh with the time period to give it depth. And one of the lead actresses needs to not have her modern bra showing.
There were far too many TSTL (Too Stupid To Live) characters in the film. At one point, it became obvious they were only there to bring in a few more historical figures to play with. That’s well and good, have fun with history, but don’t dumb the characters down. The viewers want them to die, and in this film there were that many good deaths to justify idiotic characters.
I’m going to give Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies three bloody scythes out of five—purely for the premise and Oberst’s performance as Abe. Somehow he managed to make Abraham Lincoln into a somewhat romantic figure. He never went for the cheap, cheesy action. Oberst’s performance was the truest in the film.
Reviewer: A. Zombie
Rating: R (bloody violence and gore, adult language, some sexual content
Starring: Michael McKiddy, Ross Kidder, and Markus Taylor
Awhile back, this movie came across the front desk of the ZSC—okay, their Twitter account. But with the insanity that’s happened since, it got shuffled under a pile of reports on zombie bunny behavior and lost. Well, they found it and passed it off to me to review. So how does Deadheads measure up? More importantly, what is the movie about?
A guy wakes up inside a lab and frees himself. He stumbles outside and discovers, not only is he undead, a lot of other people are too! However, Mike has been revived with his intellect intact, he’s not one of the mindless undead he encounters. Somehow he happens to stumble across the only other fully functional zombie wandering the woods, Brent. Together they decide to drive across the country and visit Mike’s girlfriend—almost fiancée—in Michigan, who is completely unaware he’s spent the last three years taking a dirt nap. But the trip won’t be easy. The corporation who owns the lab want Mike and Brent back, no matter what.
Deadheads is a love story, a buddy comedy, and a splatstick film…with zombies at the helm. They’re intelligent zombies who do far more than drool on themselves and fight over scraps of flesh like starving dogs. Actually, they’re pretty funny, too. Not as funny as I am. It takes a few years of being dead for the self-censoring mechanism to rot away. The dialogue alone is worth giving the film a chance. Make a game out of catching the massive amount of pop culture references.
The film raises a good question: If you were to come back to life as a zombie with all of your self—personality, memories, etc—intact, would you see it as an opportunity to make something of the life you were ripped out of? Would you reconnect with your family and loved ones? Here’s the thing, Mike’s girl never knew he was dead. She thought he’d left town. Anyone else attempting his mad scheme would cause undue trauma to the people they care about. Of course, with the limited exposure of the zombie outbreak—Mike and Brent are some of the first to escape and wander far from the lab—no one knows they’re undead or considers the possibility of them being more than sick guys on a road trip. Though, let’s be honest, they are covered in blood and Mike is sporting a pair of bullet holes in his skull. Middle America is seriously unobservant.
I have to give it to the filmmakers, Deadheads was shot really well. Despite being a “Zombedy”, it is almost too pretty—even when there are close-ups of severed body parts and intestines. Speaking of the FX makeup, it holds up to scrutiny. The main pair of zombies are “different”, not nearly as rotten as their mindless counterparts. Even then, the level of rot is believable and consistent throughout the adventure. There are som instances of computer-generated gore that fail to impress and could have been left out altogether. Zombies don’t bleed. Why they felt the need to add bad CG blood in one particular scene baffles the mind.
For the most part, the characters were written and acted convincingly. There is a zombie slayer who would fit in perfectly with Jinxie’s Yellow Brigade—she’d appreciate his ruthless tactics. However, two of the characters seemed to be created to annoy the ever-loving hell out of viewers, McDinkle and Emily. McDinkle is written to be obnoxious, that much is true. The overacting drove it over a cliff into a fiery crash of “holy hell, get this guy off the screen”. Needless to say, there was cheering any time someone hit him. Emily is supposed to be a frazzled, slightly ditzy and girly personal assistant to the main corporate bad guy. Done correctly, she would have balanced the malice of that character. Instead she is visibly acting, being a caricature instead of the character. After her first scene, I renamed her Food.
Overall, I’m giving Deadheads three and three-quarter decapitated heads out of five. This is a feel-good zombie movie you can sit down and enjoy with friends without worrying too much about grossing anyone out. I wouldn’t suggest children watch it, though. They curse more than sailors on shore leave.
Rating: PG-13 (intense frightening zombie sequences, violence and disturbing images) Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, and Daniella Kertesz
First thing’s first, this reviewer is fully aware that World War Z is based on the novel by Max Brooks. However, seeing as they don’t give me any books—just stacks of movies to shuffle through—I haven’t read it. This review will focus solely on the merits of what was on the screen during the film. Nothing else. Now that the business portion is out of the way . . . have I mentioned how much of a pain it is to not only sneak into a theater without freaking out the humans, but also get a pair of 3D glasses to stay on when one of your ears fell off fifteen years ago in New Mexico? Let’s just say there was liberal application of duct tape in the moments before the lights dimmed and the film began.
World War Z starts off with disturbing news reports of a rabies-like virus sweeping over the globe. America is seemingly unharmed by this virus. Our hero, Gerry is happy to be at home with his family and not with his old bosses at the United Nations dealing with the mess. Then everything flips on its head. Gerry and family are caught in the middle of a sudden outbreak of the zombie virus. In seconds, Philadelphia is overrun with the undead. The family escape and Gerry is called in to help the UN figure out how to deal with the zombies. He’s sent to every corner of the earth searching for answers in unlikely places. In the end, it seems the world’s only hope stems from utter devastation.
The opening is slow, designed to lull you into a false sense of security while simultaneously feeding viewers information through numerous television news clips—the tried, true, and vastly overused method of plot progression available to the zombie film genre. This is of course after viewers suffer horrendous vertigo and nausea from the title sequence, which is designed to make maximum use of the 3D format. Essentially, you can get stuck in line for popcorn during the first seven minutes and not miss anything vital to the film’s plot. A zombie movie is a zombie movie, is a zombie movie. Anyone hoping World War Z would prove to be ground breaking and different in this aspect is fooling themselves.
That’s not to say once the action kicks in, the film isn’t interesting. The mechanics of the zombies alone cause a lot of heart-stopping, breath-holding moments, and even a handful of really well thought out scares. The zombies are fast. Obscenely fast. They have no physical limitations, easily leaping over two cars to take down their prey. Any reservations the person held alive are gone after death, allowing the undead to climb over each other, sacrifice each other in the name of sinking their teeth into something alive, or even bash their skull repeatedly into a car’s windshield in order to get to the gooey yummy treat inside. The makeup ranges from normal looking people covered in blood, to the hero zombies who were desiccated, rotting as they wait for fresh food sources. Two of the hero zombies in the final act of the film were by far some of the best zombies character-wise I’ve seen in any genre film. They were wild, uninhibited in their ferocity and sheer weirdness of undead traits.
Brad Pitt, despite reservations about an A-list actor stepping into a genre film, delivers a wonderful performance with the script he’s given. He brings to screen the only compassion seen from any character, really. Some of the supporting cast shine—most of the good ones don’t get nearly enough screen time. Other members of the cast failed to give a performance capable of making viewers want to see them survive. Isn’t that the point of being one of the main characters? We want to see you live, not listen to you whine, garble lines, and have little to no facial expressions. When a zombie has more facial expressions than the wife of the main character, a main character who’s in mortal danger, there’s something wrong.
What can be learned from World War Z? Duct tape is your best friend. Armor can be made from fashion magazines. The police are indeed people and cannot be relied on after the undead invade your city. And most importantly, if you’re not careful, a can of Mountain Dew could very well lead to your demise.
I’m going to give World War Z four severed hands, out of five. The epic scale of the film was hard to ignore—something genre fans haven’t seen since Romero’s Land of the Dead. Bypass the 3D experience, though. The foot chase scenes in 3D format induce headaches. Chewing on aching brains isn’t good eats. Think of the zombies waiting outside for a snack when you head to the theater.
Rated: Not Rated (Extreme Violence and Gore)
Starring: Michael Fuith, Theo Trebs, and Anna Graczyk
Before anyone dives into this film feet first, be aware that it is not in English. There are subtitles. If that prevents you from watching any decent film, you need to brush up on your reading skills and suck it up. More often than not, it is worth the extra effort. Is Rammbock (2010) worth it? Let’s find out.
Synopsis: Michael heads to Berlin to talk with his recent ex-girlfriend with a plan to win her back. But something isn’t right with the city. It is too quiet and Gabi is nowhere to be found. Before he can find her, hell breaks loose in the form of ravenous zombies—quick, dangerous—swarming the apartment complex Gabi lives in. Michael finds himself relying on a young man, Harper, and the complex tenants to help him survive and locate his missing girlfriend.
Rammbock starts off a little slow, building the tension to the first reveal of a new, frightening zombie breed. They’re red-faced, veins bulging under their discolored skin. Foam flows from their mouths. They scream and run as though possessed by demons. In other words, they’re not to be trifled with. The virus that creates them works quickly. Those infected do not die. Instead, an adrenaline rush triggers the change. In theory, if an infected person can remain calm for long enough, their immune system will attack and destroy the virus. It is only a theory; no one can stay calm in the middle of a zombie attack for very long.
The way the virus works was supplied through an age-old zombie film trope—the news feed. It is understandable in the case of Rammbock; the film is just about an hour long. There isn’t enough time to demonstrate the full effect and possibilities of the virus. However, I wish someone would think of a more original way to convey vital information from the government to the people. Use carrier pigeons for all I care, just find another way that doesn’t make the audience begin to zone out after a while.
Mixed with the horror of watching these people trapped inside an apartment complex is a lot of very interesting questions about human nature. Who can you trust? Once you realize there is an outbreak, everyone, even your lovers and family become a threat. One scratch, one bite and they’re chowing down on your face. What is the right way to escape? Several times in the film, suicide is mentioned as an option to be free of the painful truth—there is no way out alive. Or is there? Bravery is walking forward, no matter what frightening thing you face. A handful of the characters are extremely brave, almost to a fault. And the final question is: Would you sacrifice yourself to kill your infected lover, sparing yourself the loss and them the indignity of living as a monster? As one of the monsters, I have to say life as a zombie isn’t half bad. To each their own, though.
Overall I’m giving Rammbock three and a half gnawed-on legs out of five. This is a film that will make you seriously stop and think, “Am I ready to face whatever odds, whatever horrors, in order to live?” Well, are you?
Rating: PG-13 (Zombie violence and some adult language)
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, Rob Corddry
Another zombie film has hit the theaters, which means a day pass for yours truly to get out of the Zombie Survival Crew command center’s detention room for a couple hours. What is the latest zombie flick to hit the big screen? An adaptation of Isaac Marion’s novel Warm Bodies.
Boy meets girl. Boy eats girl’s boyfriend’s brain and absorbs his memories. Boy falls in love with girl and saves her from having her entrails spread over the ground. Girl begs her hard-ass father not to kill her undead love. Sounds romantic, huh? Not if you care about a little thing called necrophilia.
I had a hard time with the premise of Warm Bodies from the start. Not just because of my standing as one of the shambling undead. Zombies are, and have been for decades, soulless reanimated corpses who only want one thing—to feast on the flesh of the living. Going into the theater (hidden under a large Hello Kitty blanket), I knew I wasn’t the target audience for the film. The previews and trailers showed fresh-faced kids traversing the zombie apocalypse and surviving on the strength of their love. Call me jaded, but a gun goes a lot further to keep one safe from being eaten than doe-eyed heroic zombies.
The saving grace for the film is the smart, witty performance from Nicholas Hoult. He took what could have been dead (no pun intended) jokes and made them work with a well-timed glance or shrug. His counterpart, Teresa Palmer, started out the film strong-willed and capable of defending herself, however, as the movie progressed she became whiny, cried more than should be allowed in a zombie movie—even one billed as a teenage chick-flick—and could not keep up with the performance of her co-star. The production company did their best to make Palmer into a blonde Kristin Stewart—which is no surprise since the distributor for the film is responsible for releasing Twilight. Is it too much to ask for a young actress to thrive on her own merits? In a time when Hollywood is all about chasing trends and beating them over the head until their brains ooze across the floor . . . no. The film’s producers wanted a young woman with looks similar to someone who has been proven popular and shoved her in a role written to be dependent on a boy. And when things get too rough for her, she breaks down, cries, and then does some of the stupidest things ever witnessed in a post-apocalyptic film.
Congratulations, you replaced sparkly vampires with shambling corpses. Or did they?
The undead in Warm Bodies are vastly different from traditional zombies. The corpses, as they’re called, retain more of their humanity and are capable of minimal speech. They also move far too fluidly to be truly dead. The minimalistic effects makeup on the corpses made it difficult to tell who was dead and who was alive. I’m not saying they needed to have huge chunks of flesh falling off, but something more than pale skin and visible veins would have been nice. Again, the corpses were awfully similar to vampires.
Warm Bodies was fun to watch for the humor—most of it from R, the main corpse character. There are some cringe-worthy performances; a lot of repeated and unnecessary lines, and John Malkovich’s normal brilliance is buried under teen angst and daddy issues. As one of my undead companions said, it is a chick-flick worthy of a night-in with friends and your beverage of choice.
Overall, I’m going to give Warm Bodies three and a half gnawed-off fingers out of five. It had potential, but fell flat under the pressure to fit the current the teen movie trend of cute and heart-warming monsters instead of standing on its own merits.
I’d like to give a shout out to the Fresno Zombie Society for inviting me out to hang with them for the film’s screening. You guys sure know how to make sure a dead guy has a fun night out.
Rating: R (for sequences of strong violence throughout)
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, and Michelle Rodriguez
Another field trip out of the ZSC Command Center and into the world at large. This time around, I was stuffed into the back corner of yet another undisclosed movie theater to see Resident Evil: Retribution. I’ve been looking forward to this film since last year when the first pieces of casting news went out. The main question then was, “How in the world will they bring back these old series favorites?” The answer is slightly disappointing.
The Umbrella Corporation’s deadly T-virus continues to ravage the Earth, transforming the global population into legions of the flesh eating Undead. The human race’s last and only hope, ALICE (Milla Jovovich), awakens in the heart of Umbrella’s most clandestine operations facility and unveils more of her mysterious past as she delves further into the complex. Without a safe haven, Alice continues to hunt those responsible for the outbreak; a chase that takes her from Tokyo to New York, Washington, D.C. and Moscow, culminating in a mind-blowing revelation that will force her to rethink everything that she once thought to be true. Aided by newfound allies and familiar friends, Alice must fight to survive long enough to escape a hostile world on the brink of oblivion. The countdown has begun.
First off, please note the lack of any real, solid information in the synopsis. Alice discovers more about herself, she’s been doing that for the past four films. It’s a given that, at some point, we’ll learn something new. There is always something new to learn about this character. Second, we’re lead to believe that the plot of the story takes us all over the world. Ready for your first spoiler? It doesn’t. The characters are stuck in the same building for the majority of the film. The novelty of how vast the space is wears off very quickly and leaves viewers with a sense of cabin fever about half way through.
There were a few strange style choices made very early on in the film. Do viewers really need to see the same scene played out forward and backward nearly back-to-back? Hell no. They’re not stupid. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out, you’re repeating things—not only from prior films, but from this film as well—in an attempt to find more content. Wouldn’t it have been easier to write in an actual plot that covered more, instead of rehashing old Resident Evil plot lines to try and tie them up with pretty little bows made of infected intestines? The only breath of fresh air came from characters they brought over from the video game franchise. Even then, they weren’t given enough screen time to truly get to know the characters.
Speaking of characters…What the hell was up with Jill Valentine? Okay, sure, she’s all, “Umbrella Corp is cool” in the film. However, that is no excuse for the director making the actress come across horribly. Jill Valentine was great the last time she was in a RE film. A character so many were looking forward to returning got really poor treatment. And the other characters who seemingly came back from the dead? Spoiler number two: Filmmakers used the tired troupe of clones. Yes, clones. The only entertaining thing that came from it was a joke the youngest character popped off.
Things I learned from Resident Evil: Retribution – There is such a thing as too much slow motion. A Roomba can be refitted to shoot buckshot. There are no laws of physics in the Umbrella Corp facility. Undead Soviet Soldiers have bad aim.
I’m giving Resident Evil: Retribution three and a half gnawed on spleens out of five. If you want to go watch an end-of-summer film with lots of pretty fighting, fancy sets, and no over-complicated plot to get in the way, go for it. You get what you expect going in to watch a RE movie, blood, guts, and women in form-fitting costumes. And on the off chance that you dig that sort of thing, don’t worry. RE:R leaves plenty of room for another film.
Rated: PG (scary action and images, thematic elements, some rude humor and language)
Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick and Christopher Mintz-Plasse
They let me out of the Zombie Survival Crew command center. Freedom! Well, not really. I was bound in chains and hidden in the back row at an undisclosed movie theater to watch Paranorman. I should have known they’d only let me out to work. Admittedly, though the movie is for young, delicious children, I did thoroughly enjoy it.
Paranorman is centered on Norman, a quiet outcast who has a very strange ability—he talks to ghosts. In his quest to remain on the fringe of society in order to not draw attention from bullies, Norman is dragged further into the weirdness that surrounds his life. His crazy uncle tracks him down and passes on a family legacy tied to his talent with the paranormal. Norman must take a book and read it at a certain location to keep a three-hundred year old witch’s ghost from hatching her curse, a curse that would unleash a band of zombies on Norman’s small home town. Except Norman runs out of time and the zombies crawl out of their graves, seeking and end to the curse.
The film opens with Norman watching a bad zombie movie with his grandmother. Within the first few minutes, both adults and children were giggling at the screen. You can’t help yourself. The humor is done in levels, entertaining the target audience and the folks forced to go with said audience.
I should note that I saw the film in 2D. 3D glasses don’t work well if you’re missing an ear. Even without the bells and whistles, the artistic talent put into the creation of the stop-motion puppets was astounding. Each of the characters, major or background, were fully detailed—down to the stitching on Norman’s mother’s ugly-as-sin “mom jeans”. The zombies were very well realized. Not too graphic so as to not terrify the children, but still pretty banged up and decayed. One can only hope to look that good after three hundred years in a pine box.
Portions of the story seem contrived to push Norman to reach certain decisions. He makes a leap in logic that left me scratching a hole in my scalp before being reminded that kids don’t have the patience to wait for a character to learn certain lessons. They’d rather see the outcome of the lesson than the learning. Doesn’t mean the filmmakers left out important moral lessons about bullying, anger management, and tolerance, though. One off-hand reveal at the end should be applauded. You’ll know it when you see it.
Overall, Paranorman is a great movie to introduce children to zombies, especially those that can’t handle overly scary things. There is an ample amount of humor laced with traditional horror elements to act as a buffer. A huge bonus is that filmmakers throw in a lot of old horror movie references for adults.
I give Paranorman four dismembered feet out of five. It is undead fun for the entire family.
Rated: Not Rated (Extreme violence, gore, and strong adult language.)
Starring: Craig Fairbrass, Jamie Murray, and MyAnna Buring.
Very, very rarely does a film I’ve been asked to review surprise this cantankerous rotting corpse. The last few have been nightmares. Not because they were particularly terrifying, but because they weren’t all that good.
Devil’s Playground (2010) was a pleasant change from the current trend in extra-cheesy and poorly realized zombie films—even when, at times, it feels like a domesticated version of Resident Evil.
In an effort to find a safe life-enhancing drug, pharmaceutical company N-Gen accidentally infects all of its test subjects with a virus that mutates, turning them into ravenous beasts. The drugs affects transform all but one trial subject. A mercenary for the agency, Cole, is sent to find her. Along the way, he is infected and has roughly eighteen hours to track her down and bring her back before he becomes a zombie. Angie may be the only way to stop the zombies from taking over the UK one city at a time. That is if her friends, family, and fellow survivors allow her to do what is best for mankind.
There is the usual genre tropes tossed around in the movie. Utilizing the opening credits to run a series of vignettes that catches viewers up to the current time frame of the film is tired. However they shot it well enough that, even though it has been used to death, it didn’t bore me right away. The film also made ample use of television and radio clips to keep the characters and viewers in touch with what was happening away from what was on screen. It did get repetitive after a while, though. Oh and the flashbacks. Those were far overdone and, frankly, as useless as nipples on a male pig.
One other thing that comes back again and again is tied to the back-story between some of the lead characters. We get it; this guy is extremely jealous and protective of Angie. Beating that idea into viewers head will garner absolutely no sympathy for the character because by the time we’re supposed to feel that way, we just want him to shut up and quit getting in the way.
As far as the zombies themselves, the makeup isn’t the most detailed I’ve seen in a genre film, but it is somewhat unique. The zombies are revealed in stages, with the final stage being visibly gruesome without going too far into decay. It fits with the method of infection really well and doesn’t distract from how holy-hell-fast the infected are. Lace up your running shoes, folks, and pray these aren’t the zombies that take over during the Zombiepocalypse.
Overall, the film is grossly underrated. I’m giving it three-and-three-quarter mangled faces out of five—by far one of the better films to be slid under my cell door in over a year.
Starring: Ving Rhames, Taryn Manning, and Johnny Pacar.
Is there a complaint form available for an undead guy being tortured by a group of slayers? Honestly, forcing me to watch a Syfy movie and then retain enough of my decomposing brain cells in order to review it is cruel and unusual punishment. Governments have laws against this sort of treatment. It isn’t fair that those laws only extend to the living. I want to call my senator!
I still have to review the movie, don’t I? Let’s get this over with.
2012: Zombie Apocalypse (2011) was the Syfy channel’s answer to the current trend in zombie-related movies and television shows. Essentially, they took every single genre stereotype and crammed it into a ninety-minute film.
A virus sweeps over the globe and infects over 90% of the population in a matter of weeks, turning them into ravenous corpses. In an effort to contain the zombies, the United States government wipes out all modes of transport and communication.
After being holed up in a cabin during the beginning of the outbreak, a trio of survivors is forced out of hiding to find supplies. As they gather food, they are attacked and nearly-simultaneously saved. The survivors band together with their rescuers to stay alive. The group decides to head west—where there’s been a rumor of a safe haven on Catalina Island off the coast of California.
The dialog is predictable, as are the frequency of zombie attacks and the method of their demise. Half of the cast didn’t seem to know the hell to hold the weapon they’d been given, let alone how to swing it in a way that’d believably kill anything more threatening than a dust bunny. And can we stop with the computer-generated blood splatter, already? It never looks right. Use the extra money from that to buy backup wardrobe pieces and use real fake blood.
While I’m on makeup effects…there are typically a few “layers” from camera to background as far as extras are concerned. The zombies closer to the camera are “hero” zombies, extras or stunt persons who have extensive work done on their makeup for close-up shots. Back from them are main zombies, who are made up to be on camera a good amount of time, but not with enough detail for close ups. Behind those are “filler”—extras with minimal makeup, a lot of blood, and never get close to camera. Sometimes when a makeup department is small, they will make up masks similar to the zombie look needed for the film and put those on the filler extras. You shouldn’t be able to count seven of these masked extras in frame. It looked awful, watching them run right up to the camera and seeing the latex masks jiggle.
My final word on 2012: Zombie Apocalypse—Zombie Tigers. That is when I quit the movie.
I’m giving this film two-and-a-half partially-eaten brains out of five. If you want to torture yourself or friends, go ahead. Grab some popcorn and adult beverages; you’re going to need them to get through the whole thing unscathed.
Right out of the gate, the show is visually impressive. Detailed, but not overly done effects makeup on the undead. Fully dressed sets. The cinematography adds movement to the first moments, which could’ve been a boring one-sided walkie-talkie conversation. But they killed it when viewers realize they’ve used an age-old trope—opening a show with an action-packed dream or flashback sequence. It’s been done to death. Even with them working it into the plot, explaining that the rehabilitated zombies will suffer side-effects such as flashbacks, it’s not a strong start story-wise.
In Roarton, we’re introduced to the main cast. Some of whom we’ll no doubt grow to like or at least tolerate, like Kieren’s family. Others we can only hope will find the toothy end of a rabid rotter—slang for an untreated zombie. Of the latter are Bill Macy and his pal Vicar Oddie. Bill runs the local zombie killing group, the HVF. In its heyday, the HVF were heroes. Always on the front line against the zombies. But since the rehabilitation program and the PDS Protection Act went into law, most cities disbanded their local HVF chapters. But not good ol’ Roarton. There’s little to no official government involvement in a town so small. The Parish Council rules all, and most of them side with the HVF. Vicar Oddie has his fingers in all the pies. He knows what buttons to push to send his wild dog—Bill Macy—off on the hunt. He uses Bill’s anger after his son’s death for his own gain. Why should these zombies be allowed to come back and live with them when Bill’s son, Rick, remained dead in Afghanistan? We’re shown a brutal example of Bill’s hate toward the end of the episode. What would he do if he knew Kieren were back in town and that one of his own HVF soldiers, Jem, was protecting a zombie? Pretty sure we’ll find out soon enough.
“In the Flesh” may have fresh-faced actors in the lead roles, resembling Warm Bodies, but where the film made light out of the zombie condition—curing it with the power of love—the show shines a blinding light on the hate that can manifest when normal people are faced with something they don’t comprehend. Jem calls her brother a demon when he returns home. She refuses to believe Kieren is actually back until he tells her something only he’d know. And even then, she still hates him because she cannot understand why he killed himself four years prior. Ignorance is the perfect breeding ground for turmoil, and there’s plenty of that in Roarton.
Reviewer: A. Zombie
First thing’s first, this reviewer is fully aware that World War Z is based on the novel by Max Brooks. However, seeing as they don’t give me any books—just stacks of movies to shuffle through—I haven’t read it. This review will focus solely on the merits of what was on the screen during the film. Nothing else. Now that the business portion is out of the way . . . have I mentioned how much of a pain it is to not only sneak into a theater without freaking out the humans, but also get a pair of 3D glasses to stay on when one of your ears fell off fifteen years ago in New Mexico? Let’s just say there was liberal application of duct tape in the moments before the lights dimmed and the film began.
The opening is slow, designed to lull you into a false sense of security while simultaneously feeding viewers information through numerous television news clips—the tried, true, and vastly overused method of plot progression available to the zombie film genre. This is of course after viewers suffer horrendous vertigo and nausea from the title sequence, which is designed to make maximum use of the 3D format. Essentially, you can get stuck in line for popcorn during the first seven minutes and not miss anything vital to the film’s plot. A zombie movie is a zombie movie, is a zombie movie. Anyone hoping World War Z would prove to be ground breaking and different in this aspect is fooling themselves.
That’s not to say once the action kicks in, the film isn’t interesting. The mechanics of the zombies alone cause a lot of heart-stopping, breath-holding moments, and even a handful of really well thought out scares. The zombies are fast. Obscenely fast. They have no physical limitations, easily leaping over two cars to take down their prey. Any reservations the person held alive are gone after death, allowing the undead to climb over each other, sacrifice each other in the name of sinking their teeth into something alive, or even bash their skull repeatedly into a car’s windshield in order to get to the gooey yummy treat inside. The makeup ranges from normal looking people covered in blood, to the hero zombies who were desiccated, rotting as they wait for fresh food sources. Two of the hero zombies in the final act of the film were by far some of the best zombies character-wise I’ve seen in any genre film. They were wild, uninhibited in their ferocity and sheer weirdness of undead traits.
Brad Pitt, despite reservations about an A-list actor stepping into a genre film, delivers a wonderful performance with the script he’s given. He brings to screen the only compassion seen from any character, really. Some of the supporting cast shine—most of the good ones don’t get nearly enough screen time. Other members of the cast failed to give a performance capable of making viewers want to see them survive. Isn’t that the point of being one of 
What can be learned from World War Z? Duct tape is your best friend. Armor can be made from fashion magazines. The police are indeed people and cannot be relied on after the undead invade your city. And most importantly, if you’re not careful, a can of Mountain Dew could very well lead to your demise.
Rated: Not Rated (Extreme Violence and Gore)
Rammbock starts off a little slow, building the tension to the first reveal of a new, frightening zombie breed. They’re red-faced, veins bulging under their discolored skin. Foam flows from their mouths. They scream and run as though possessed by demons. In other words, they’re not to be trifled with. The virus that creates them works quickly. Those infected do not die. Instead, an adrenaline rush triggers the change. In theory, if an infected person can remain calm for long enough, their immune system will attack and destroy the virus. It is only a theory; no one can stay calm in the middle of a zombie attack for very long.
The way the virus works was supplied through an age-old zombie film trope—the news feed. It is understandable in the case of Rammbock; the film is just about an hour long. There isn’t enough time to demonstrate the full effect and possibilities of the virus. However, I wish someone would think of a more original way to convey vital information from the government to the people. Use carrier pigeons for all I care, just find another way that doesn’t make the audience begin to zone out after a while.
I had a hard time with the premise of Warm Bodies from the start. Not just because of my standing as one of the shambling undead. Zombies are, and have been for decades, soulless reanimated corpses who only want one thing—to feast on the flesh of the living. Going into the theater (hidden under a large Hello Kitty blanket), I knew I wasn’t the target audience for the film. The previews and trailers showed fresh-faced kids traversing the zombie apocalypse and surviving on the strength of their love. Call me jaded, but a gun goes a lot further to keep one safe from being eaten than doe-eyed heroic zombies.
Another field trip out of the ZSC Command Center and into the world at large. This time around, I was stuffed into the back corner of yet another undisclosed movie theater to see Resident Evil: Retribution. I’ve been looking forward to this film since last year when the first pieces of casting news went out. The main question then was, “How in the world will they bring back these old series favorites?” The answer is slightly disappointing.
They let me out of the Zombie Survival Crew command center. Freedom! Well, not really. I was bound in chains and hidden in the back row at an undisclosed movie theater to watch Paranorman. I should have known they’d only let me out to work. Admittedly, though the movie is for young, delicious children, I did thoroughly enjoy it.
Is there a complaint form available for an undead guy being tortured by a group of slayers? Honestly, forcing me to watch a Syfy movie and then retain enough of my decomposing brain cells in order to review it is cruel and unusual punishment. Governments have laws against this sort of treatment. It isn’t fair that those laws only extend to the living. I want to call my senator!