Bury Me Here: Review for The Walking Dead 713 by R.C. Murphy
Head’s up! This review contains episode spoilers.
Pardon me while I try to wrap my head around something. A white man is radicalized through his own apathy at a refugee camp. He suffers heart-shattering losses due in part to this. When he’s safe, he turns to leadership-approved violence to cope. When his vengeance against the Saviors is constantly put on the backburner, the man turns to terrorism, going so far as to stalk and recruit an accomplice. Turned away from his vendetta yet again, this time by a kindred spirit, he executes a dramatic suicide-by-baddie ploy to finally spread his message. When his poorly considered exit claims another life instead, he backtracks and blames everyone else, only ever taking ownership of his original cowardice at the camp where his wife perished in a fire. Despite the method of his murder, this man dies thinking he’s a martyr. His end at the hands of a man half a sneeze from Full Crazy is pathetic, really. What was Richard ever going to add to the community? He came in ready to go out with a bang. A glory hog to make up for past sins. His death delivers a message: Terrorism hurts those who are given the dubious position of profiting from destruction with no consideration for civilian safety. How much effort does it take to stop and ask yourself, “How many people will die because of what I’m going to do?”
Okay, I think I’ve got it now. I understand. The writers weren’t happy just making a point, but they yet again proved said point with the tried and true white martyr story. The story line pushed the tension a little, mostly because fans were waiting for Richard to die, and motivated exactly one person to take up arms against the enemy. I wasn’t sure who’d end Richard’s woe-is-me festival. It was a tie between Morgan, Ezekiel, Gavin and co., or Carol should she catch wind of his intent to drop The Kingdom in the middle of the war without any time to prepare. Trying to guess gave me about a minute of enjoyment. Then the writers blew the surprise with foreshadowing when they took this as their golden ticket to trigger Morgan—adding an “unpredictable” element to liven things up, I presume.
Now we’re down a fighter and the Saviors have word that mutiny has been on The Kingdom’s mind. Thanks, Richard. Your legacy thus far is astounding.
Morgan is pretty much useless now, except for clearing the undead from around the community’s perimeter. That puts the burden of caring on Carol’s shoulders once more. She knows the truth at last, even if asking requires her to examine why she turned her back on humanity. Kudos to the writers for passing on clunky dialog in favor of allowing McBride to just react during two character-changing conversations—the first changed how she sees herself living in the mad world, the second demolishes the emotional barriers holding her back from engaging in battle. The minute she suspects her people suffered, she straps on her badass cap and goes to get answers she knows will break her heart. And they do. McBride’s genius is in her eyes as Morgan lays out what happened in Alexandria since their departure. Without much to-do, she delivers a gut-twisting performance. It’s probably one of my favorite acting moments in the series from the last three seasons, despite the tears it inspired.
Richard the Coward shoved the Kingdom into the warpath, whether Ezekiel thinks they’re ready to defend the front lines and the home front simultaneously or not. Morgan went ’round the bend again and can’t stop killing walkers. To clean up the mess, Carol’s coming out of violence retirement. It shouldn’t come down to one woman to smack sense into everyone, but since we’re here, I’m glad Carol is that woman. The Kingdom is being dragged into a mess they want nothing to do with. How will the average citizen react to the news?
Next week, Hilltop is likewise forced to choose their side in the war. Can they kill off Gregory as their sacrifice to the war gods, like the Kingdom did with Richard? His misogyny is tired and boring. We need to move on to more productive narratives, not the same ol’ men-holding-women-back bull, if this show is to get anywhere during the last three episodes in the season.
A. Zombie Reviews . . . Resident Evil: Extinction by A. Zombie
Rated: R (Strong Violence, Nudity)
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, Ali Larter, and Iain Glen
In the franchise’s third installment, not only has Raccoon City fallen to the dead, but the T-Virus spread like wildfire, decimating the global population. Mother Earth has set to reclaiming the land, sweeping it clear with vast deserts. Few living survive, mostly as nomads. The Umbrella Corporation thrives in underground bunkers. Their scientists, led by Dr. Isaacs, work tirelessly to use clone Alice’s blood to control the dead and reclaim the surface for human kind. The woman herself? She lives off the grid, so paranoid she can’t make a friend, but still cannot resist the urge to help those in need. A convoy, led by Claire, finds themselves in need of Alice’s special skills. In return, they help her break into the home of the very people hunting her down.
There’s actually quite a bit crammed into this deceptively simple film. It handles touchy topics like Alice’s survivor’s guilt, and the ethics behind using human clones for experimentation. We see a woman, Claire, leading a large group with none of the usual male arrogance costing innocent lives because they can’t be bothered to listen to the little lady. There’s ramifications for Umbrella’s genetic meddling, demonstrated when the arrogant, rich bastards sit down to wring their hands over dwindling supplies while they’re no closer to a solution to the undead problem they created.
But there’s also quite a bit of bullcrap pushing the plot along, like magically appearing undead and male egos.
Dr. Isaacs’ demeanor is much like that weird clump of gunk one collects on their shoes after walking a mile through alleys in the seedier side of the city. There’s no professional ramification for his obsession with Alice, nor does anyone actually stop him from torturing dozens of women. It’s not until the film’s climax when Isaacs is desperate to survive after being bitten that he pays for all his sins. And it isn’t enough to make up for the nauseating male arrogance propelling the character like a shark. Umbrella itself continues on, despite losing Isaacs and his American lab. The only price they pay is the woefully low supplies in their worldwide bases. While there’s some satisfaction in the end for Alice, it’s not the solid win one expects at the end of an action film. The full blame lies with the way the franchise was written early on, forcing each film to flow nearly seamlessly into the other. A stand-alone film would have to deal with Umbrella in a more complete way. It also wouldn’t have shipped off the entire cast, save one, and never follow up. They languished in knowing they could leave an open ending, and that’s not stellar storytelling. Each entry in the series should be written as its own entity. Cliffhangers aren’t actually all that fun.
The undead in the third film were pretty sparse up until the second half. For the most part, we had human foes and infected animals going for Alice’s blood and body. The infected dogs are a personal favorite. We also learn what happens when animals ingest infected meat—the crows proved far more terrifying than their canine counterparts. The avian threat wiped out a large piece of Claire’s convoy in a scene Hitchcock would’ve watched with a grin on his face. And the human infected? Well, much like other RE films, there’s various types of human dead. This time around there’s the mundane infected, like those surrounding the fence protecting the entrance to the Umbrella base, and the Alice-enhanced infected who’re far more aggressive. Makeup applications for the mundane are standard for the franchise—great detail on the hero dead, with just as much attention spent on the background actors so the blend is natural during in-horde shots. What irritated me was when they opted to strip individual characteristics from the enhanced dead, making them all the same angry white guy zombie in a jumper. The reasoning? Stunt work. The enhanced infected swarm what’s left of Vegas during Isaacs’ grand scheme to finally grab the real Alice for testing. In order to film so many simultaneous stunts, using masks instead of fragile prosthetics saved money and time. It also allowed performers to be swapped out at will in order to achieve different physical performances. But it looks bloody awful ten years down the road on a high definition screen. The scalps jiggle. The heads are too big. Try as I might to focus on the foreground fighting, I kept watching the Jell-O headed zombies in the background.
So how does Resident Evil: Extinction compare to the genre offerings which have come since? It fails to adhere to the typical gender roles for zombie flicks, that’s a huge bonus. The plot—a savior type wanders the countryside, helping others while fighting their inner and outer demons—isn’t original, but fit so well within Alice’s story, it’s almost refreshing to escape crowded RE sets in favor of gorgeous desert landscapes. And it’s certainly an improvement over seven seasons of Rick’s people being unable to see zombies in a sparse forest. The personal interactions go deeper than some films—Alice and Carlos’ scenes in particular—without devolving into time-consuming, but not plot advancing, sex. Honestly, the film is solid. I keep trying to poke holes in it, but the problems I found were small enough to ignore. The only real thing showing its age is the trademark glossy computer graphics from the turn of the century, giving every CGI element a wet look even when it wasn’t supposed to be. I give Resident Evil: Extinction four oozing eyeballs out of five—the same rating I gave it ten years ago.
Unfortunately, the reality during an apocalyptic scenario is that most people will not make it far with their families intact—these solo folks tend to fall to the wayside on the show quite often. Over the course of season two, we said goodbye to several mainstays from the original camp crew. We also got to know, then lost horrifically, a couple newcomers who could have gone far had they not become walker lunch.
Browse photos from the set of the two-hour series premiere of Heroes Reborn.
Otis was doomed from the get-go, to be honest. First, he accidentally shot Carl, then he volunteered to go on a supply run with Shane as backup. The latter, despite Otis attempting to make up for the accident, was probably one of the worst ideas throughout season two. He didn’t know Shane like we do. Didn’t realize that man would do literally anything to keep Lori happy. Anything meant hobbling Otis to provide cover for himself so he could escape a walker horde and deliver the supplies.
Pruitt Taylor Vince has one of Hollywood’s most recognizable faces, so it’s no surprise that after his short stint on TWD, Pruitt rolled right along with his career. Since hanging up his hat as Otis, Pruitt has filmed nearly a dozen film projects, including Beautiful Creatures, Bending the Rules, 13 Sins, Broken Blood, and Homefront alongside Jason Statham and Winona Rider. As Casper Abraham, Pruitt helped introduce everyone to a new generation of super-powered people on Heroes Reborn. Over the years, he’s had a reoccurring role on The Mentalist as J.J. LaRoche. He took a turn on HBO’s True Blood during the show’s sixth season, playing Dr. Finn, a psychologist who develops a fixation for Pam while she’s held in a vampire concentration camp. Pruitt’s next project is The Life and Death of John Gotti, also starring John Travolta and Kelly Preston.
Jeffrey DeMunn as Chuck Rhoades Sr. in Billions (Season 1, Episode 1). – Photo: JoJo Whilden/SHOWTIME – Photo ID: Billions_101_0466.R
No one, and I mean no one was prepared to say farewell to Dale Hovarth after only two seasons. Too much of the group’s stability relied on Dale to be the voice of reason. Not to mention, Jeffrey DeMunn has a calm about him in the role which reaches out to the audience. The fact that it was actions within his own group which caused Dale’s death is no accident of writing. They had to kill their conscience early in order for Rick to spiral to the point they are now. Doesn’t mean I have to like Dale’s death, though.
Freed from playing a nomad in a broken-down RV, DeMunn went on to guest star on The Good Wife, The Affair, The Blacklist, and Divorce. He teamed up with TWD creator Frank Darabont for TNT’s Mob City, co-starring Jon Bernthal and Milo Ventimiglia. DeMunn has a reoccurring role on Showtime’s Billions. He plays Charles Rhoades Sr., father to Paul Giamatti’s character. The senior Rhoades spends his time being obscenely wealthy and meddling in his son’s life. Billions has been renewed for a second season, starting February 2017.
It was no great secret back when season two aired that I could not tolerate Shane’s overly-aggressive nature, especially when it came to how he treated Lori or he decided to make safety decisions for the group, which always ended in bloodshed. Those very things lead to his death at the hands of his best friend. Oh and then, wonderful man that he was, the kid he considered a son had to kill his reanimated corpse.
But just because I couldn’t stand Shane doesn’t mean I didn’t love Jon Bernthal’s performance on the show. This is one man who left TWD and, zoom, his career skyrocketed—it’s still on a straight shot to the moon, too. Unless you’ve lived under a rock, you know Bernthal was brought into the Marvel universe to play Frank Castle on Netflix’s Daredevil. His jaw-dropping performance in the episode “Penny and Dime” pretty much guaranteed he’d land a spin-off. The Punisher hits Netflix during November 2017, which is not nearly soon enough. Need another Bernthal fix before Mr. Castle gets his own show? He also appeared in numerous films and shows since leaving TWD—Snitch, The Wolf of Wall Street, Fury, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, and Mob City, to name a few. His other upcoming projects include Pilgrimage with Richard Armitage, The Accountant alongside Ben Affleck, Sweet Virginia, Baby Driver, and Wind River.
Jimmy wanted desperately to be the hero he felt Beth deserved to protect her gentle soul during the apocalypse. In a way, he fulfilled his dream, but at too-high a cost. We mostly saw Jimmy in the background, helping the Greene family tend to the farm or giving Beth emotional support. He did get his hands dirty gathering walkers to keep in the barn where they couldn’t attack anyone—until Shane let them all out. During the chaos after Shane was killed, walkers swarm the Greene farm. Jimmy was in the thick of it, using Dale’s RV as cover to shoot walkers, then driving it over to help Rick and Carl get off the barn roof. Unfortunately, an RV is not a tank. They broke in and Jimmy became supper.
James Allen McCune is just as generous and kind as Jimmy, but still has a heartbeat. Post-TWD, he went on to appear in Snitch, Congratulations!, and the made for TV movie Anna Nicole. James joined the cast for Showtime’s Shameless during their fourth season as Matty Baker. In some seriously exciting—and surprising—news, James was introduced as the star of a brand new film, The Woods, which is actually Blair Witch, a direct sequel to The Blair Witch Project. James plays brother to Heather, the missing woman from TBWP. The film’s real title and plot was made public during San Diego Comic-Con when the cast and filmmakers were in attendance to screen the film. Blair Witch will have a wide release on September 16th after showing at the Toronto International Film Festival on September 11th.
Warning, the following contains show spoilers and a strong opinion.
I’m a die-hard fangirl. When a show gets my attention, I hang on to the bitter end—anyone who saw my reaction to True Blood‘s final season know what happens when a show lets me down like a frayed guide rope while climbing Half Dome. At least that show started pretty strong. This show never really found its footing. Every time I thought they’d stepped up to the plate, wanted to be good horror, they failed to follow through. In the two episodes before the mid-season break, they lean toward the macabre. First with Celia’s guests in the cellar. Then they opened the mid-season finale with Ofelia’s face peeling off, only for it to be a dream. The cellar bit? We saw the same plot on TWD when they found the walkers in the Greene’s barn, put there because Hershel believed they weren’t lost causes. Celia saw it as evolution, driven by divine intervention in the form of zombies. Both think the undead are worth our love and care. No part of me was surprised to discover Celia ran a freaky suicide/mercenary side business. Nor did the religious slant surprise me. When they steered the Doomed Ship Lollipop toward Baja, I knew they’d use the culture this heavily. Why not? It gives them the perfect scapegoat to rehash the tiresome but-they’re-family plot. On Z Nation the Zeroes, based just south of the border, worship death. I guess FtWD thought they could do something similar and have it work as anything but somewhat insulting to an entire culture’s intelligence just because they’re constantly portrayed as chill with Death.
The effects gags just aren’t worth the effort to pay attention to the story-telling anymore. In the season opener, I called them out for using the boat propeller in the face gag. Since, it’s been more of the same bland infected action. Why? They set the first half of the season on a boat. Their human bad guys were as interesting as watching leg hair grow. So where does that leave us on the tension front? Bickering and nagging, occasionally silenced by an actor in zombie makeup limply shaking his arms at the lead actresses while they flail a fishing pole at it. Some shows are salvaged by the action when the story goes bad. But when nothing happens in the story or the action? What’s the point? Then it’s just people making bad decisions, living on a yacht, and yelling at each other.
“So we’ll make one of them insane!” Nice try, guys. I’d totally buy it . . . if Chris had any actual reasons not to trust Madison and her family. At what point have they left him behind or put him second? Madison and Travis drove into a riot to save him. They made a deal with perfect strangers in order to secure safe haven until the riot passed. Nick jumped off the yacht thinking Chris wanted to swim away or drown himself. They staged a funeral so he’d have a chance to deal with his mother’s death. So why he’d snap, threaten Madison and Alicia, and run away to hold a family hostage is beyond my reasoning. Nick is a more likely choice, seeing as they laid the groundwork for it with his rampant drug use. He does some batty things, like willingly walk around covered in walker goo on numerous occasions—so much so, the original scene from TWD in “Guts” has lost its impact entirely. Now he’s fearless and buying into Celia’s bull about life eternal. Also so apparently broken, Madison—mother of the decade—asks Strand to sort her crap out while he’s digging his lover’s grave.
If I even start on how they’ve written Madison, I’ll break my keyboard. She’s by far the nosiest, indecisive, and nagging character ever to survive to season two in a show. Seeing as she’s the universal mother figure, I hate to hear what the people at the writing table say about their mothers. Somebody in that writing room needed a hug as a child.
The characters have no backgrounds. They’re all blank until they need convenient problems—Chris’ insecurity and psychosis, Daniel’s PTSD and hallucinations, Nick’s trip down sociopath lane. Alicia led the group to their first real bad guys in the season and we still know nothing about her except she’s impatient and bravery makes her do rash things. Travis has the personality of a jellyfish, only finding a backbone to salvage the weird Chris-Is-Crazypants story. Strand actually has this decent backstory, except it came too late in the game to salvage the damage done before Tom was introduced, and then swiftly killed off to avoid that whole messy gay character issue. Leaving Strand the outcast yet again, essentially a blank slate so he can resume being a prick. Instead of writing a world and characters living in it, they’re writing caricatures to manipulate how viewers see the world and what happens in it. It’s not good storytelling. There’s no consistency. Narrators, the characters driving the story, must be consistent. Someone suddenly sporting a raging case of PTSD leading him to burn a building at the behest of his dead wife just means the writers wanted to blow something up for the mid-season finale. It works for Z Nation because explosions are a part of parodying the genre. It does not work for FtWD in episode 207 when it’s painfully obvious the only reason any of this took place was to burn things on camera. Again, this entire story was lifted from TWD season two, right down to the main survivor group disbanding at the end.
So why should I keep watching? If this show refuses to stick to their characters, follow a coherent story, or just rob content from the mothership, it really isn’t worth my time. I watched in the hopes that someone would bring another quality genre show into viewers’ living rooms since TWD is bogged down by expectations. What I got was essentially the discarded ideas from the main show, stretched beyond believability, and crammed into a glitzy, Hollywood setting. The grand settings are an attempt to mask everything the show lacks. All it did was tie their hands trying to make zombies work on water. I mean, there are ways, but it requires thinking outside the box. AMC didn’t buy outside-the-box. They wanted TWD, but with a longer name. What they can’t buy is my time.
This is the last review I’ll scribble for FtWD. There’s no salvaging the mess they’ve made. I’m jumping ship before it gets worse.
It’s glorious. It’s bloody. Best yet, it’s simplistic. No complicated or contrived tension between the characters. The plot rolls out naturally. Are there parts which don’t make a lick of sense? Of course. This show is written for the most part to parody other shows which take themselves far too seriously at times. But that’s the beauty of this show. It’s not bogged down by things like physics.
Citizen Z is still on the run from the NSA zombies loose in the base. He left Dog alone in the command center with orders to stay no matter what. But where’s Citizen Z going? To the weapons locker, of course. Hilariously, even though he emerges from the storeroom with two full bags of guns, he still relies mostly on a baseball bat to dispatch any zombie in his path on the way back to Dog.
Matters aren’t quite so easy for everyone else. The broadcast from Citizen Z turns the small town in Wyoming into the O.K. Corral. Everyone and their psychotic mother is on the hunt for Murphy. A few factions are in play for this episode. First, the bounty hunter introduced in episode 201, Vasquez. Then there’s the Skull Face guys—who never stand a chance. The instant Vasquez sees them, he opens fire. That sets the tone for the entire episode. It’s a free-for-all. Every moving body has a target on their forehead, living or dead. There’s also Soccer Mom, fond of a shotgun loaded with less lethal bean bag shells. Her luck runs out after landing a shot to Murphy’s gut; Cassandra—still very much feral—eats her for lunch. Escorpion, played by Emilio Rivera (Sons of Anarchy), uses a rocket launcher as his weapon of choice. His scenes are few and far between, but the damage he does with that launcher are felt for most of the episode after he deafens 10k with a blast. The last bounty hunting crew to get face time are the Rednecks. They’re just dumb enough to fail right in the pursuit of The Murphy.
Throughout the episode, the main crew get their backsides handed to them. This provides odd little flashbacks for everyone. Addy remembers riding her bike down a suburban street. Citizen Z recalls falling in a park and being scooped up by his mother for comfort. Roberta’s subconscious takes a dip in a pool. Doc doesn’t flashback, he has an out-of-body experience. While floating near the ceiling, he watches Redneck #2 strangling him, then spots a letter opener on top of a bookshelf and tells himself to knock it down. Murphy’s vision is, of course, smoking a joint with a beautiful woman.
During the chaos, everyone eventually ends up in the world’s most depressing motel. This place was sad in its heyday. After the apocalypse, it became the place where happiness goes to die alone and forgotten. Redneck #1 and #2 are taken out by Vasquez and Doc in the motel. After #1 collapses, Vasquez decides to join forces with Roberta. She doesn’t say no; he just saved her life. Everyone is scattered in the building. Mack and Addy split up to avoid zombies and find Murphy. He goes down, she up. What neither could predict is the insane number of zombies drawn to the motel thanks to their prey. Caught alone in the stairwell, Mack is swarmed. The nearest door is chained shut. Addy does her best to get to him, but it’s too late. She stays with him, watching the zombies bite him, until he turns and she gives him mercy. Everyone else makes it to the roof where Murphy contemplates jumping. He and Roberta argue, but it’s mostly for show. Murphy jumps, landing in a swimming pool lined with zombies.
He doesn’t make it far. Angry, Addy tracks him down like a bloodhound. She yanks him from the van and beats him until the others drag her off of him. If Murphy hadn’t run from them, Mack would be alive. It’s a harsh truth they all realize the second Roberta asks, “Where’s Mack,” and Addy breaks down. Murphy’s fight leaves him in an instant. Even Cassandra complies when 10k motions her to climb into the van.
Mack’s death is only the second main character loss on the show with any serious impact. It was just assumed he’d continue to be there for Addy even though they aren’t a couple. He made the trip to the compound she called home to make sure she survived the nuclear blasts. No one told him to check on her, he just did it. Mack was the one to suggest they rejoin Roberta’s mission to deliver Murphy to California. As much as he got in the way, he also helped round out the group.
They’re not down a fighter, though. Vasquez hops in the van with everyone at the end of the episode. His plans to sell Murphy to the highest bidder must be out the window after seeing how far the living will go to collect the bounty and promised cure. A solo bounty hunter won’t make it a block with Murphy in custody and he knows it. He also knows the nuclear fallout will make driving westward impossible. They have to skirt the worst damage and hope to find a clear way to the lab. If the lab hasn’t been blown up like so much else in the US.
The best survival plan begins long before you and your family comes face-to-gnashing-teeth with danger. Figuring out where you’ll live now that home-sweet-home is covered in zombie drool should be high on the priority list. For some, it’s not ideal to leave their home due to disability, young children and infants, elderly parents, etc. Others already have their evacuation plans in hand with every route mapped out so they hopefully land somewhere z-free with a place to settle down. For the record, we don’t suggest an old prison, it doesn’t seem to end well.
For any location you choose to settle down, there are a few basic things to do which will give you a little more time for fight or flight if the zombies find you.
Cover every single window. Ditto with doors, leaving two with a relatively easy way to exit just in case. We suggest using corrugated metal, 5/8″ exterior grade plywood, or marine plywood. Screwing the boards in place will make them stronger. You may want to pack a battery-powered drill in your supplies cache. If that’s not doable, hammer and long nails will work. Place the boards on the outside of the house—it’ll prevent a horde from using sheer weight to push them free. Don’t forget to secure the garage door! You’ll want the extra safe space, anyway.
Grab anything outside your safe house which can be used as a battering ram and bring it inside—trash cans, barbeque, lawn furniture, gardening equipment, etc. We’re not saying the zombies will be brighter than the dirt on their feet, but one must take into account possible human invasion as well. Particularly people who have grown desperate and angry over failure to secure a place of their own.
Take the time to do a little yardwork. Clearing away grass, shrubs, and trees within a 10-yard radius around the house will prevent accidental fires. The cleared wood (if dry, or set aside to dry) will come in handy, anyway. Plus, if you get rid of the lawn, there’s not much holding you back from finally using that flamethrower you picked up on a whim. I kid. Mostly.
Bring all of your supplies inside the safe house—water, tools, food, clothing lines, wash buckets, firewood, etc. If you cannot secure your vehicle(s) inside a connected garage, drain the gas and bring it inside, as well.
It may not look like much, but it could be home sweet home with the right planning and preparation.
Here are a few health safety tips to remember about your newly secured safe house:
Establish a clean room for cooking and food storage. In another room, create a clean place to tend to medical emergencies. I’d highly suggest using vinegar to clean these rooms, not bleach. With low water supplies, you may not be able to rinse away bleach to safe-to-handle levels. However, keep bleach on-hand to purify washing water.
Do not use a barbecue indoors! If you are without a propane stove, plan to create a secure, well-ventilated patio outside one of your two emergency exit doors. As a bonus, this can act as a staging area if you must evacuate from the safe house.
Keep the generator outside. Carbon monoxide poisoning isn’t pretty. This is the only survival item you must leave outside. Hey, if you build that patio, it can go there, as well.
Do not use kerosene for your indoor lamps. It smells awful and the impurities aren’t good for your lungs. Opt for lamp oil and make sure to read the label to see if the brand is safe for indoor use.
Keep all flames away from the secured windows/doors. If there is a breach, the flame will likely fall over. Don’t make the zombies’ job easier by giving them a way to burn you out of your safe house.
Signs of carbon monoxide poisoning: Nausea, dizziness, weakness, confusion, disorientation, vomiting, and sleepiness.
Grandparents the world ’round loved to spout that phrase for generations who grew up heavily reliant on television for their entertainment. Gone are the days where kids go outside as option numero uno to battle the dreaded boredom monster. Of course, most adults shun the great outdoors, as well. Why not? There’s the dreaded sun beating down, giving us an unhealthy dose of UV rays. Not to mention bugs the size of a Chihuahua. But how are we supposed to learn important survival skills without first-hand experience in the wild? Easy. Television, of course.
Post-apocalyptic shows are all the rage currently. Which says a lot about how much faith writers have in the survival of the human race. Not all the shows below use zombies as the catalyst for an apocalyptic scenario, but there’s still plenty to learn from each.
The Walking Dead:
Obviously, we’d start with our friends over at TWD for this list.
The show does a bang-up job of demonstrating a nomadic lifestyle for the main cast. How it is nearly impossible to settle in one place with such an unpredictable enemy—both in the walkers and humans who’ve lost grip of their moral leashes. Rick and company have perfected the idea of traveling light, keeping an eye out for possible resupply stops, and only carrying what one can without sacrificing speed. The show also addresses what happens when there is no law, no authority to put their foot down and make people behave civilly. Not everyone turns into a greedy, self-centered jerk. But enough have to speak volumes about where humanities priorities lie. If you don’t have the sheer strength to take what you want, you can go without.
In the Flesh:
The BBC’s newest breakout series takes place after the war with the undead is over and a cure of sorts has been found to return conscious thought to those who’ve risen from their graves.
While there’s not a lot of raw survival skills at work, it is a good show to look at and understand that once the war is over, there’s still many, many small battles left to fight. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a huge part of what the main characters go through. Some were forced to kill loved ones. Others volunteered to fight the undead, not realizing how hard it’d be to not only pull the trigger that first time, but stop killing when the dust settled. Small minds and strict morals rule in the village of Roarton, almost to the point of insanity. It’s a backlash, a way to get a stranglehold on the chaos they lived in for so long. Think of the show as a “How not to act” once the coast is clear and you can settle into some semblance of a normal life again.
TNT stepped up to the post-apocalyptic plate with their take on what happens after creatures from another planet decide to make home here on Earth.
The first season picks up the story about six months after the invasion. Mankind as a whole are on the run, hunted by vicious beings called Skitters and their ruthless Overlords. Early on, there is a handful of military on hand to lead and protect civilians. As the show progresses and the Skitters force the survivors to split up and hit the road, those numbers dwindle to nearly nothing. That means Everyday Joes are required to step up and learn what it takes to live on to see tomorrow. The show is packed with survival goodies ranging from locating safe resupply stops to improvised explosives and how to secure a safe haven from attack.
Defiance and Dominion:
Not one to be left out of the loop, Syfy unleashed a pair of post-apocalypse shows in the last couple years. Both shows focus on mankind rebuilding civilization after an advanced being wipes out a huge portion of the population. Defiance takes place in a world that’s nearly been made inhabitable for humans thanks to the “Arkfall,” which rained alien technology down on Earth and accidentally terra-formed portions the planet. The terra-forming killed many native species of animals and plants, or turned them into something humans cannot eat. Huge stretches of the United States are unpopulated and too dangerous to live in for long periods of time. What cities were salvaged, like St. Louis, hardly resemble huge, sprawling modern cities. Instead they’re little more than a haphazardly thrown together mining town, with housing and buildings made from scrap wood and cargo containers. They’re rebuilding from the ground up, everything from buildings to the laws governing new-comers and humans alike.
Dominion likewise took a well-known city to use as its home base. The Las Vegas seen on the show barely resembles what we know of it today. Vega, the name given to the city by those hiding behind its tall walls, is designed to be a fortress to keep out humans who’ve been possessed by genocidal angels lead by the darkly charming Gabriel. While the buildings are still intact in Vega, there’s a huge food and water shortage. They’re camped in the middle of a desert. Unable to farm the land outside the city’s walls. Yet somehow they make do and almost lead normal lives. Isn’t that the goal of every person after the apocalypse, to find normalcy again?
Under the Dome:
On this CSB drama, the apocalypse is contained to the city of Chester’s Mill when a giant invisible dome is plunked over the town like Tupperware over a spider.
The problems plaguing the townsfolk don’t come from an outside source. It’s all internal strife, greed, and struggle to figure out not only what’s going on with the dome, but how they’re going to survive an unknown amount of time with what food and water are within the dome. Several plague-like scenarios threaten the food supply—ravenous caterpillars, acidic red rain, dust storms, and a burst pipe that drains the water tower. While battling the city’s need for supplies, people are fighting on another front—to retain some semblance of law and order. Difficult to do when the people at the top of the food chain are corrupt and general panic brings out the bad in everyone or gives others the impression they can force their questionable morals on the public. This is a good place to learn how to pool resources for the long haul.
At least the other shows don’t have it as bad as the guys on Firefly.
The Earth was crowded, too crowded, so some folks took it upon themselves to venture into space, finding planets that could be terra-formed to Earth-like conditions. Sometimes it worked, other times it didn’t. Most of the time, the planet’s occupants are too poor to bring in what they need to farm the land. Enter our intrepid heroes. Okay, smugglers. Thieves. Whatever. Malcom Reynolds and his crew are the epitome of the post-apocalyptic attitude. When the mud hits the fan, you keep moving. And occasionally, moving forward and surviving call for a different mentality.
Or as Jayne would say, “Shiny! Let’s be bad guys.”
In this final installment, be prepared for death to come knocking, as the apocalypse and monsters stretch the bonds of love and friendship, demanding a reckoning of those who are willing to do what they must to survive.
When “I Am Legend” meets “Resident Evil,” the Nevermores in this trilogy are similar to the “vampires” in I Am Legend with their feral pack mentality, and the cause of the change in humans is because of a supposed cure-all drug, similar to the toxin in Resident Evil. The Nevermores aren’t quite zombies, in that they aren’t dead, but they will eat anything and everything.
Dauntless picks up after Bound, continuing Mara’s and Sebastian’s story of love and survival even when everything on the planet is stacked against you. It begins in the mad scientist’s compound, follows their escape, and Mara’s struggle to fight for Sebastian and their child, even when he doesn’t want to continue on. Did Donovan’s cure work? For a good amount of time, Sebastian is sick as hell and on the verge of death. Throughout the trilogy, Mara makes some pretty stupid decisions, which someone points out to her, and yet, she somehow manages to make it. How, we’ll never quite know.
Scout, Mara’s loyal Nevermore, returns to help and in the end, gives his life to save his alphas’ lives. He was a very likable character; one that was written well enough to be remembered for a long time.
The trilogy is essentially one book split into three. There is also a short story, first published in Forever Nocturne e-zine, that goes with the trilogy, centered on two other characters. The entire Nevermore trilogy is a quick and easy read, though it could have used a better copy edit. Some of the mistakes were a little distracting, but the average reader likely won’t notice most of them.
Dauntless was definitely the “love will conquer all” happy ending. I won’t, however, tell you where they’re heading or the surprise that waits.
Thank you, Ms. Mayer, for such an entertaining series. I look forward to your Celtic Legacy series next.
I’m going to say it was a sixth sense that led me to break ZSC Command protocol and answer the cell phone when the “BLOCKED” call came through.
“Is this the head of the company?” a gruff voice asked.
I almost hung up. But I’m no chicken. Yeah, yeah I am the head of the “company” so gotta keep it together.
It was the Texas Policemen and Sheriff’s Association.
He instructed me to pull off the side of the road.
“But I’m in Baton Rouge traffic and it says ‘shoulder closed’,” I told him. “This is totally illegal, dude, if a Louisiana cop shows up you’d better back me.”
He laughed long and hard, and I couldn’t stop chills from racing up my back and down my arms as I pulled the truck off to the side of the road. Considering it was about 94 degrees in the shade, that was saying something… but it’s not every day I get pulled over by a law enforcement official from a state away.
The Texas sheriff assured me if one of his Louisiana counterparts showed up I was to put the two of them on the phone and he would take care of it. “We need to talk now,” he told me.
As it turns out… the Association was looking for partners, and the ZSC has been chosen. I can’t divulge any details yet for strategic reasons. We’re due to have another conversation as soon as I stop shaking long enough to hold a phone again and I hope I can fill you all in.