A. Zombie Reviews: Children of the Living Dead

A. Zombie Reviews . . . Children of the Living Dead
By A. Zombie

Rated: R (Contains violence, gore, and adult language)

Starring: Tom Savini, A. Barrett Worland, Damien Luvara, Jamie McCoy, Sam Nicotero, Marty Schiff, and Heidi Hinzman

Language: English

Often when artists strive to find inspiration, they look to the past. For genre fans, there’s only a few franchises which define zombies in pop culture. Unfortunately, when it comes to grasping the same energy as the original films, that’s like trying to wrestle a greased zombie rabbit into a tutu. Sometimes the heart behind something can push past an obstacle or two. Children of the Living Dead doesn’t have that to fall back on. It’s a lackluster homage to the more ridiculous side of the living dead.

Synopsis:

Life in a small town is hard enough, what with the gossip networks having so few souls to pick on and all. One town in particular has it worse than most after an incident in the late 60s left them fending off the living dead. They won, but only for a little while. In ’87, the dead rise again. This time notorious rapist Abbot Hayes returns and promptly resumes his kidnapping ways. Hot on his trail are deputies Hughs and Randolph. Only Randolph and the rescued children survive the encounter. Hayes gets away, laying low for fourteen years. One afternoon, he’s intrigued by a group partying on his mother’s grave, then he gets angry. The concert-goers make it less than a mile down the road. Hayes scares them over a cliff. After the funeral, he interrupts a couple grave robbers in order to collect the accident victims, turning them into his personal army. A year later, Hayes’ family property is sold to a car dealership. In order to build the showroom, the crew first has to remove the family cemetery’s occupants—they opt for mass burials over the hefty cost to move them to another cemetery, as any scuzzy contractor would. Hayes doesn’t take kindly to the Michaels’ family and their plans for his home. His army attacks, ever-growing as they move further into town seeking revenge . . . and a snack.

This is probably the slowest zombie movie I’ve seen to date. Not even the opening sequence with Savini is punchy enough to grab the audience and drag them along for the ride. There’s rarely a viable sense of urgency which isn’t artificially inflated with awkward dialog. For heaven’s sake, there’s a five minute scene with Hayes—a mute zombie who moves slightly faster than a slug—shuffling through the woods outside his family home, like that’s supposed to make us lean in for the kill that’s surely about to happen. It’s like watching Deadpool kill that guy with the Zamboni, but without the witty dialog to save it from being laughably bad. The final fight is such a waste of time, as well. Nothing of note happens. [Spoilers!] Hayes walks off unscathed. Our heroes live to see tomorrow. The dead are, for the most part, contained. What is at stake? Humanity wins the day again. Without his father in the way, Matthew Michaels can build the family empire in his name. Laurie yet again escapes Hayes’ grasp without injury. I’m all for a happy ending occasionally, but there has to be a resolution to at least one story line which isn’t so open-ended it’s like they assumed people would clamor for a sequel instead of calling them out for failing to commit to the story. The poor time management and overuse of time jumps is likewise to blame for limp motivation for the characters. For example, here’s Hayes, a guy who just loves to kill and he’s been reanimated, given a second life where he can wallow in gore. Yet we’re supposed to believe he’s content to live alone in his house, next to a major road, without incident for fourteen years. His brand is murder and mayhem, that part obviously doesn’t change after his death, so why does he twiddle his thumbs?

There’s some decent FX makeup in this film. Hayes’ face will stick in your memory thanks to the detail work. As will the awkward as hell gloves the poor actor has to wear. Watching him “grab” things is cringe-inducing. The wound appliances for the undead are great, but often the detail is lost in the poor image quality and copious blood. That’s where the good makeup ends. The standard for these zombies is, for some unfathomable reason, pale greasepaint and blood. On the same zombie we’re getting quality wound work, and a teenager’s attempt at Halloween makeup. It’s a head-scratcher, that’s for sure.

Honestly, this script needed a hefty revision before they started shooting. There’s so many plot holes, and even more plot threads left in the wind at the end in a most unsatisfactory way. Cliffhangers are a cop-out. Even with how slow the film is, plus the ever-repeating dialog, and underwhelming zombies, if they just stuck a solid ending I was ready to forgive a lot of the bad. But they didn’t. Children of the Living Dead gets one bloody, matted clump of hair out of five.


Upcoming Dead Things

Upcoming Dead Things
By R.C. Murphy

We’re closer to New Seattle than everyone anticipated. Which is a relief, honestly. Not having a premiere date in-hand was worrisome. Why put off an announcement until less than two months in advance? We went through this already with Z Nation. One had hoped iZombie wouldn’t fall into that late-to-press trend, but here we are, less than two months out and CW finally drops the good news. It’s great and all, but the information delays are getting old. Likely it’s a way to create false panic, drum up news and viral campaigns to “Save this show! Let the network hear you want season blahblahblah.” There’s enough to panic about in the real world, could we stop with the fear-mongering when it comes to the future of people’s favorite franchises? Just spit it out. We all know no amount of online petitioning will really save a show—look at the footwork Dark Matter fans, cast, and creators put into saving their ship; if anyone deserves another season based on effort alone, it’s those guys. At least for now iZombie seems to have a future through season five after details emerged in the recent news regarding Knepper’s future with the CW franchise.

On Monday, February 26th at 9 PM, iZombie’s fourth season will take us into a changed Seattle. Zombies are free to live their truth in the open. It’s transformed the city from top down. Even the police department gets with the times, bringing in zombie partners for their detectives so everyone can share in Liv’s whacky brainventures. The extra hands on deck are necessary. This season the gang isn’t fighting a someone so much as a something. That something being mass migration to the newly dubbed zombie safe-hold on the notion that anyone can save themselves from terminal illness and constant pain with just one tiny scratch. The walls won’t keep desperate humans out for long. Their heightened security certainly doesn’t keep out a new character, Levon (Daniel Bonjour), or the smugglers bringing the ill into Seattle. Levon follows their story for a documentary detailing the changes to the city.

Over at AMC, they’re planning a little further in advance than everyone else and on January 13th during a press tour a spokesperson announced a slew of premieres for their spring schedule, including Fear the Walking Dead.

FTWD shambles into its fourth season on Sunday, April 15th at 10 PM. Fret not, those who aren’t night owls, that late start time is only for the premiere. The show hops back to its normal 9 PM timeslot for the remainder of the season. This time around fans will watch through Morgan’s eyes while Madison and her family struggle to survive. Because we needed that family to be even more removed from the fanbase who’re still struggling to connect with the lead characters. Sure. Right. Maybe the perspective change will bring fresh energy to the show. But honestly this reeks of a desperate grab to save a floundering fish. The producers crowed for years that there’d never be a crossover. Well, those quotes did not age well at all. On top of Lennie James coming on-board, the newest cast members for the AMC spin-off include Jenna Elfman, Maggie Grace, Garret Dillahunt, and Kevin Kegers.

AMC shook things up for The Walking Dead, as well. Rick and company will be returning for a ninth season, according to the latest press release. They won’t be coming back with the same showrunner, however. Scott Gimple plans to move on and oversee the entire TWD franchise as its chief content officer. Taking his place as showrunner is TWD’s co-executive producer Angela Kang. TWD returns to AMC for the second half of season eight on Sunday, February 25th at 9 PM. There’s no premiere date for season nine just yet. Expect that news sometime this summer.

The 25th is going to be a busy night. Ash vs Evil Dead also returns to the small screen on February 25th at 9 PM. Ash took on the evils from his past last season. Well, there’s one last blast from way-back to rock his world. Ash gets in touch with his inner papa bear in the third season of the Starz show after learning he’s actually got family to defend, since, ya know, the others all went deadite. Can he break the grip Death has on his family tree? With a chainsaw hand, he can do anything. But I don’t know if a chainsaw will help him become a better parent.

Stock up on popcorn, guys. There’s a lot of undead entertainment headed your way.


Zombie Reviews . . . Birth of the Living Dead

Zombie Reviews . . . Birth of the Living Dead
By A. Zombie

Rated: NR (Contains adult language, gore, brief nudity)

Starring: George A. Romero, Gale Anne Hurd, Elvis Mitchell, Mark Harris, Christopher Cruz

Language: English

There’s days when one wants to sink into something comforting. Short a stack of fresh ribs, I went looking for the zombie classic and stumbled across this 2013 documentary. Birth of the Living Dead is a made-with-love documentary delving into Night of the Living Dead, its director, and the lasting cultural changes ushered in by this most unusual film.

The documentary itself is edited for peak attention-grabbing. What could’ve been an hour and change of people chatting on black backgrounds is mixed up with a metric ton of clips from NotLD, other zombie films and shows, and at the end there’s footage from a comic-con interview with the late Bill Hintzman. One of the stand-out moments is the segment where they check in with an instructor who teaches literacy through film and his subsequent discussion with the kids about the film’s impact on a generation so far removed from the political maelstrom which birthed it. Not to mention fresh reactions to the cult hit are always entertaining. How many times have you introduced NotLD to new people and waited for them to yell about the gas scene? That’s the kind of excitement this documentary captures. Yes, they’re talking about a film from 1968, but so much of what it says speaks to the uphill battle we’re fighting yet again.

Guests interviewed range from top television producers to novelists and film critics, all of whom share a deep appreciation for Romero’s work. However, the interview with Romero himself is what steals the show, here. He’s having a grand ol’ time. His interview isn’t really an interview so much as a hangout session with a bunch of other filmmakers to shoot the breeze and, oh, the topic of his film just happens to come up while cameras are rolling. There’s countless instances of gut-bursting laughter from off-screen crew when Romero lets a zinger fly. And while yes it makes one smile, there’s always that tug when the laughter fades—we won’t get any more of these gems again. George’s levity in his segments is probably one of the best gifts he left behind. Without the razor wit, all this war/death/zombie talk can get too serious.

This documentary also gives fans a look at exactly how difficult it was to make the film happen at all. Romero isn’t afraid to admit he didn’t think they’d finish the film. There’s no shame behind those glasses when he declares he’d never, ever take up playing a zombie because the real guts used in NotLD were flat-out disgusting. We learn cast doubled as crew and equipment suppliers all in the name of Getting It Done. By far the best did-you-know story details how they finally “paid” for the sound mix; but the most noteworthy tidbit for curious filmmakers is how easily NotLD fell into the public domain because someone failed to put one thing on the title card. Yes, most of the stories are ones we’ve heard before, but this is a nice compilation of them and the editing mixes it up with insight from others who make a living in the horror genre.

The most detailed part of this documentary pokes at the cultural and racial questions raised by NotLD. Casting Duane Jones was easy because he was the best for the role of Ben, but Romero himself admits he never, ever went into the filmmaking process after hiring Jones with the intention to use his race as part of the story. Which, honestly, probably makes a lot of fans sit back and say, “What? You didn’t mean for this to be one of the best statements on the racial divide in that era?” Lest you think they just blow by the topic, other interviews dig into how Ben’s bravery and heart-rending fate affected young black men who at the time had no character like him to look to in the media. Representation matters, even if the folks pulling the strings aren’t as clued in to the significance as they should be. Art is subjective, after all, and in this case a large portion of the audience sees equality in the production’s lack of rewrite to fit the cast.

If you’re like me, frozen to the core this winter and looking for a way to warm your heart, take a look at Birth of the Living Dead. I give it four and a half mangled faces out of five.


Frenemies:  Review for Z Nation 410

Frenemies:
Review for Z Nation 410
By A. Zombie

Something’s foamy in Chicago. With all the damage done to Mother Earth in the name of eradicating the zombie problem, she’s finally fighting back. A thick, toxic foam spreads from Lake Michigan across the city. Some sections are easily ten feet deep. On the outskirts, scant few buildings peek through the foam, blessed oases to recover from exposure to toxins. If only Doc and Murphy stumbled into one of those places, with 10k and Sarge following later. Instead, they’re reunited with Trouble One and Trouble Two, plus an odd yet competent barber who may have a few things to hide. Could it be the Tiny, the silent and heavily armed man upstairs? Or perhaps the carefully placed zombie pit under the barber’s chair? The list of what’s wrong with Sal the barber is long. Which is why Sketchy and Skeezy opt to swindle everyone instead of explaining how dead they all are once Sal hatches his great plan.

Nefarious duos are the honored guests in the episode. There’s our old friends, Sal and Tiny, then in stumbles two dudes who were nowhere near the radar for a surprise comeback, Dale and Roy—you’ll remember them as the saps who let Skeezy bite them during their “The Murphy” scam. Dale and Roy get the drop on everyone by pure chance, stumbling in from the foam shortly after a vomit-slick brawl. If there’s one thing to love about the Sketchy and Skeezy episodes, it’s the insane fight sequences. This one takes the prize for best so far, in my opinion. Cornered by the new pair, the mentally agile hucksters spring their plan. Skeezy’s been bitten by a mummified tanning bed zombie—or so he says. Obviously he can’t stay, so everyone votes, with the new pair breaking the tie. Sketchy opens up about his feelings for his friend before Skeezy is tossed into the foam to fend for himself. Dale and Roy move on with their own scheme, and with a little coaching from Skeezy opt to lock everyone in the basement. With the zombies they don’t know about. In no time at all, the bad guys are taken care of. Skeezy rejoins them, alive and well, and ready to take over the barber shop. The guys are finally settling down to earn a respectable living ripping people off from their own building. Good for them.

Where’s their fearless leader who should’ve kept them out of the mess? Lost in the foam, chasing phantoms and whacking Zs. Roberta can’t make heads or tails of Chicago’s crowded streets. Where there’s not foam, there’s zombies or abandoned vehicles blocking the way, further confusing the woman who’s been discombobulated since waking in Zona. At last she finds someone wearing a hazmat suit. They spot her and run, away from her or toward somewhere safe? Roberta plays chase with the speedy stranger until her body shuts down from exposure to the foam. Somehow she still makes it outside the toxic zone. The stranger? Doubtful he helped much. Turns out it’s Harold Teller, the man who set her on this path. Uh, one problem, he’s dead-dead, not undead. Whatever drives Roberta’s subconscious right now is powerful enough to create a fully-fleshed phantom, but is it compelling enough for fans to see this nameless mission through to season’s end? I don’t know. This seemingly aimless quest for something existing only in her mind isn’t occupying screen time nearly as much as the interpersonal problems in the main group, yet neither are pushing the plot forward with any urgency anymore.


Time for After: Review for The Walking Dead 807

Time for After:
Review for The Walking Dead 807
By R.C. Murphy

From the looks of it, sense and reason has abandoned everyone during this mad rush to rid the world of Negan. Rick allocated most of his town’s resources for the fighters, sparing precious few capable people to guard their children and pacifists while he fails to negotiate with the Scavengers. The Kingdom will need generations to recover from their massive losses on the battlefield. Hilltop is a powder keg with a couple dozen torches crammed in a cage just inside their fence. Daryl’s leading an off-mission strike force straight into the heart of Savior territory. So far the only one to speak a word of sense is Rosita. It took watching Sasha lurch out of a coffin and her own near-fatal injury for Alexandria’s wild woman to learn a little caution. For Rick, there will never be enough cautionary moments like that. He’s wired to take control no matter what life throws his way. At some point, dumb luck will run out. With the Saviors one step closer to freedom, that point could be now.

But first he’s gotta get out of that shipping container.

Jadis has a simple plan to rid herself of this roach who insists her people must join the fight: kill him with a walker and celebrate the death with a sculpture. I guess it makes sense in her head. As per usual, when Rick’s pitted against the undead, he comes out on top. The armored walker becomes his primary weapon against Jadis and her guards. They fight over Jadis’ gun, but Rick gets the upper hand, pinning the leader’s face in the dirt perilously close to the snapping walker head. Truce time. The pair talk terms, with Rick coming out on top because of course he is, he’s the white savior who just takes what he wants at every single turn. Honestly, Rick’s story lost its appeal because he never grows beyond this desire to be at the top. What we’re seeing now? It’s the same behavior which cost them the prison and three-quarters of Alexandria’s population since his arrival. But good ol Officer Friendly has his new fighters. They head to an outpost, ready to trigger the end to his plan . . . only to discover Daryl’s beat him back to Sanctuary.

We all knew this was a stupid idea when Daryl said it the first time. Now it’s just ridiculous that despite the two ballsiest fighters in their ranks pulling out for moral reasons, he still feels compelled to go off-book to subvert the mission everyone worked and bled for to make a success. Oh, Tara’s still right there, ready to kill ’em all with a grin on her face. What’s pushing her other than the dead girlfriend thing? Regret that she didn’t get the women in Oceanside killed sooner so Alexandria could have the guns. For character motivation, it sucks. Everything about Tara’s behavior screams she’s going to get herself killed soon. Rosita got a second chance, not sure that’ll be the case here. The writers are making sure we’re not going to mourn too hard when Tara’s bloodlust goes awry. Pushed by her eagerness, Daryl rams a truck into Sanctuary, letting the undead inside. They don’t realize the quickest mind in the east is already at work scheming his way out of this mess in the name of his master.

Eugene is a worm. But a worm with convictions which put his safety as important as, oh, a Christian’s belief that Jesus died for their sins. He’s serious when he says numero uno is his sole concern. The only reason Negan is even considered in Eugene’s plan is because the guy’s got means, motive, and a mean streak a mile wide which will come in handy. Everything Eugene needs to do puts him head to head against Dwight and Gabriel. The latter man finds himself in the infirmary in Dr. Carson’s care, a condition Eugene says he brought upon himself. For Dwight’s part, he’s doing his damndest to keep the bloodshed to a minimum. His goal is to save everyone. Only Negan dies in the original plan. That will not happen should the bat-wielding guy get an earful about his good pal helping the enemy. They call a timid truce. Inspired by a request to fix a boom box, Eugene builds a speaker drone to draw the undead away. Dwight halts the maiden flight moments before the truck sends everyone into emergency mode. This is where Eugene’s bluster slips. He freezes once, flies into a rage, and winds up making a deal with the devil before drinking himself stupid. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to an immediate threat. The walkers have to go. The only way is if they unload the armory into the growling mass trapped on the first floor. He’s got what he needs to make more bullets, all he needs is the time. Time he gets. Negan okays the action and they unleash lead hell in the warehouse. Eugene is so focused on the undead, he doesn’t bother trying to find another time to tell Negan about Dwight after they’re interrupted. And as far as getting the doctor out? No way! The doctor stays put should Eugene need his services. At least the guy knows what he needs. Doesn’t mean I gotta like him.

We’re at the mid-season already, yet it feels like we haven’t gotten very far. A lot of people died, but the odds are more or less still the same, given the Scavengers flipping sides. Everyone is down on ammunition, the Saviors more so after clearing house. Negan is still alive. Rick’s free to cause more chaos. Culling the supporting cast doesn’t exactly mean they’ve progressed the plot a lot in seven episodes. Siege warfare told long-form isn’t always compelling for network television and we’ve seen this kind of thing before on the show so the reactions and deaths are predictable. Even this reformed Rosita’s desire to let fate roll without her interference was foreshadowed. We wanted something new, but this war they promised is more of the same Rick-driven drama they’ve given us for eight season—which has never, ever made sense from a survival-focused standpoint. Pretty much everything this guy does is on our Don’t Even Consider It list. Where can they go from here? We’re right back where we started, only now the bad guy’s really pissed off.


The King, the Widow, and Rick: Review for The Walking Dead 806

The King, the Widow, and Rick:
Review for The Walking Dead 806
By R.C. Murphy

Warning! There’s spoilers below.

Now’s the time to regroup. The fighting for this stage of the war is wrapped. Everyone who walked away is back home nursing their wounds, mourning their dead, and preparing for the next battle. The captains get in touch via letters, delivered by what must be the fastest messengers in the apocalypse. I mean, like The Flash fast because there’s no way the coordinated a mail drop like this in time to magically get Rick his missives before he walks into his stupidest idea yet.

It doesn’t take a genius to understand that Jadis and her Scavengers will never by on Rick’s side. Yet every time they up the ante against the Saviors, he crawls back to Her Weirdness, seeking an audience and help. Help she’ll never provide. She only lets him in to talk because it seems to amuse her to watch this man all but beg for more bodies to fight a war he could not win with his own resources. This time she makes Rick pay for bothering her nude art time by caging him in a sweltering cargo container, naked.

While Rick marinates in his regrets, the others get antsy. Particularly those who weren’t on the frontlines. Michonne isn’t satisfied by reading Rick’s debriefing letter. Only her own eyes can tell her the truth, so off she goes to take a joy ride to Sanctuary. Rosita hops in to join her, her mood as pale as her complexion so soon after the near-fatal shooting. The women don’t make it to their destination. Opera music, of all things, lures them to a building in the woods. Inside are two Saviors who escaped the attack. They’ve got the Fat Lady, a truck loaded with speakers designed to lure walkers, and need to make sure she’s in shape to save Sanctuary. Despite both being unfit for fighting, Michonne and Rosita take on the Saviors. The latter goes for complete overkill, using a rocket launcher inside to take out the male Savior. They’re not so lucky catching the second one. But someone’s watching out for them and the Fat Lady’s driver is stopped dead in her tracks.

Lest Michonne appear as the only unhinged warrior who freaking knows better than to just walk away from a war plan, Daryl and Tara join the wandering ladies on their trip to Sanctuary. While Michonne just needs visual confirmation of their win, Daryl wants to jump the gun on Rick’s big plan. He thinks the four of them can end the war then and there. How? No clue. He’s still not thinking clearly after learning they lost a third of their fighting force in one go. Desperation has always been Daryl’s downfall. When he’s cornered, he forgets that many hands make light work, that reaching out isn’t a sin, and taking a moment to think about the repercussions of your actions won’t take anything away from the win, should it happen.

In a moment which reminds one of the good ol days when Carl never stayed in the dang house, we catch him aimlessly wandering the woods to find the guy Rick chased off during episode one. He brought along a few snacks and water to help, sensing they were desperately needed. He’s right. While Siddiq is an impressive walker hunter, he’s lousy at securing supplies. The starving man attacks the water like he hasn’t drank in days. Then they get to chatting, which leads to Carl nearly dying in order to honor Siddiq’s mother’s memory. How’re they doing that? Killing the undead to release their souls. Yeah, it escalates quickly. Glad to see Carl hasn’t changed much over the years.

Over at Hilltop, things aren’t going smoothly. Maggie is incensed, unable to believe Jesus would burden them with captives and then feed them from their precious emergency storage. Gregory’s constant cries for death don’t help matters, either, but Maggie can’t leave the former leader alone because last time she did, he sold them out to the Saviors. There’s a solution for all her problems, one she has her people build overnight. The new prison cell will house the captive Saviors until Maggie finds a use for them. Gregory gets the same treatment because he’s scum. No one argues with her decision to lock him up. I’m sure if this were a lighthearted show, there’d be a scene where they all toasted Maggie for putting him in the cell.

The war plan is dissolving quicker than cheap bread in a pond. All that careful planning is going to go sky high once Daryl’s team breaks ranks and attacks again. Where’s Rick to stop them? Oh, right. He lost his freedom because he can’t take no for an answer.


The Big Scary U: Review for The Walking Dead 805

The Big Scary U:
Review for The Walking Dead 805
By R.C. Murphy

Warning! This review contains episode spoilers. Proceed with caution. They bite.

What’s this? Another flashback opening sequence with scenes bearing no weight whatsoever on the actual plot, containing information which could have easily gone somewhere else? Gabriel prays, it’s his thing. It didn’t have to happen in a flashback. As for Gregory, his love pancakes, and the super-secret meeting with the Saviors? Uh, duh? When they came out to chat with Rick, he wasn’t under duress. The play all this time has been to kindly, but firmly lead the little weasel by his nose so his people continue to provide produce for them. The meeting itself more or less took place during the same conversation with Rick, sans a few tidbits and the power squabble. I would’ve been more impressed with the show opening on Negan lunging for Gabriel.

The pair are still trapped in the flimsy trailer surrounded by walkers. Negan relieves his tension by picking on Gabriel, looking for his weak spots since he’s got all the time in the world with the guy. Not really, though. The trailer’s wall are already failing. There’s another problem, too. Instead of mounting a rescue, Negan has a feeling his guys will implode on the leadership front without him there to steer the ship. Which is pretty much what happens. In order to save what he’s built, Negan needs Gabriel to help him fight through the horde. There’s a tussle. And a bargain. In the end, they each confess a sin before slathering themselves with zombie guts. The ruse doesn’t work as well as they hoped.

Power dynamics are often lost on the soldiers. In this case, Negan’s captains understand some of what it takes to run the organization, but not a one of ’em has the wherewithal to see that every last person under them stays in line. They assume he leads by pure fear. Yeah, no. Negan leads by hope. That hope may be the grimiest thing to be dragged out of an apocalyptic landfill, but it still puts a roof over their head, water and food in their bellies, and surrounds their home with an army to keep the dead at bay. The workers are promised isolation from the ongoing war. In return they take what they’re given without complaint and do the work required of them. When the few comforts Negan provided dry up after his assumed demise, the workers’ hope vanish into the dark. Confronted with the chance to actually be Negan, every last one of the captains fails. It takes Negan all of thirty seconds to fix it after he and Gabriel finally make it inside.

It’s going to be a lot harder to fix the mess left amongst his captains. Not only does Simon think he’s in charge, but Gavin also points out that the only way the surprise attack works is because insider information has been leaked to Rick. One smidge of evidence may give the game away. Eugene notices red paint on a gun bag given to the workers which helped in their near-triumphant coup. Dwight has a new chess set, which he painted himself that very day. Odd hobby, but I’ll but it. Not sure Eugene’s going to have a chance to use his knowledge just yet. He’s more preoccupied with Sanctuary’s new guest . . . who’s suddenly got a fever and an overwhelming desire to break the doctor out of there.

Meanwhile back on the highway, Daryl and Rick have a nice chat with Yago, the Savior who almost delivered the guns to the Sanctuary. They get all the details from the guy, down to the identities of the meager few who walked away from the fight. Pretty much the second the guy bites the dust, Daryl is ready to ditch the master plan and improvise. There’s TNT in the wrecked truck. With just a little, they can blow Sanctuary’s gates, let the dead in, and problem’s solved. They can move on already; help the Kingdom regroup. Rick is the rational one for once, bringing up the blameless workers living in the same compound. The guys fight, the choreography echoing the first fight these two had at the rock quarry. Except that time there wasn’t an exploding truck. So much for the guns and dynamite. The guys split, Rick heading somewhere and Daryl’s off to Alexandria.

The somewhere is the giant trash heap of Please Stop Going There Already, according to the previews. Like they didn’t have enough problems with these people already. Sure, let’s try one more time when you’re desperate and the only bargaining tools you had blew sky high because your bestie can’t control his temper long enough to get them clear of a wrecked truck. This isn’t going to end well.


We Interrupt This Program: Review for Z Nation 409

We Interrupt This Program:
Review for Z Nation 409
By A. Zombie

Interwoven through their quest to communicate are glimpses of Z-Day. Day Zero. The Day the Feces Hit the Fan. Whatever you want to call it, the writers took us back to the fateful day and gave a glimpse at how the media handled the situation. It also gives a startling clue as to how quickly the undead spread across the country. In a matter of moments, the news station goes from reporting a downed airplane to zombies eating the face of an Emmy Award winning anchor. One can only hope they weren’t still on-air when the carnage kicked into high gear. The action follows Carly McFadden, weather forecaster turned anchor who is first tapped to break the news about the crash. It’s weird to have hope that someone will survive day one again, but for a little bit that excitement is back. Will she make it? Can the chopper land safely? But we already know the answer. Hope, liar that it is, makes us forget for a second that the chopper is strewn across the road when the gang walks through town.

Back in the here and now, Roberta and Sarge strike out on the satellite front. The connection is severed somewhere. In order to make their call, they’ll have to plug straight into a dish up on the roof. Everyone else wanders the studio. Murphy makes himself at home behind the anchors’ desk. If not for the whole lack of TV and all, he’d be a shoo-in for that local news Emmy. The staff who were trapped inside shuffle toward the noise. They’re regular Zs and no match for the gang, who’ve been dealing with primarily mad-Zs since Red and the others disappeared. Up on the roof, they find Carly and give her mercy. Sarge gets the radio to make the call to Kaya. But by the time they do, her fight’s already over.

Hiding in the panic room will only work if no one finds Kaya, Nana, and little JZ. Considering Zona has all sorts of tricks up their sleeve, Kaya is extra vigilant. She sets up security cameras. Takes a peek around to see if she can figure out why they’re so far away from home. But it’s hard to stalk someone without risking them following her, so she retreats to put out another distress call. She’s followed anyway. The guy stands no chance. Kaya whacks him good. And then has to apologize to Simon. Together at last, the couple waste no time going back out to assess the threat. Unfortunately, they also have to cram in a lesson about mad-Zs since one follows Citizen Z around like a rabid puppy. The dead do more to take out the Zona guards than the living. In the end, Kaya and Simon fail to stop the man with a plan from snatching information about Black Rainbow and erasing the discs. At least we now know Black Rainbow isn’t a complete figment of Roberta’s imagination. My gut says there’s no silver lining to this Zona situation.


Some Guy: Review for The Walking Dead 804

Some Guy:
Review for The Walking Dead 804
By R.C. Murphy

Head’s up, there’s spoilers in this review

Just when it felt like the writers were about to decimate the Alexandria cast to make way for the newer communities, the action flips into high gear for the Kingdom at last, and WHAM, they take their most brutal hit since aligning themselves with Rick in this war. Does anyone make it off the gore-slick field? The dead are rising faster and faster. It takes mere moments for the Kingdom’s army to turn on the scant few survivors. Three, then only two men shuffle off the field with heartbeats. What good did Ezekiel’s grandstanding do if he has no one to bring home in the end?

The problem with possibly half the season playing out over the same day is the unrelenting desire to shake it up somehow in order to make it feel like time is actually passing. Four episodes in and maybe an hour or two has passed on the screen. That drags everything down, despite breaking for intense fight scenes or emotional goodbyes. How does one combat this problem without confusing the plot or halting the forward progress altogether? There’s no one answer, but I’m pretty sure bringing in conversations from before the fighting began which are echoes of things already said isn’t the best method to help time appear to move faster. Repetition doesn’t always sell a point the way a writer intends once it comes out of an actor’s mouth. Ezekiel’s speeches, for example, quickly went from charming, uplifting oases in the turmoil to tiresome, eye-rolling moments where they really just should move on to the next problem instead of verbally beating a dead horse.

That being said, Ezekiel’s arc in this episode alone is some of the best character development the show has seen in, oh, probably three seasons or so. I was there with him emotionally, hobbled by a wound and trapped on the field of his dead. His dead. He brought every single soul onto that silver platter for the Saviors. That knowledge breaks him. We watch this guy’s façade shatter like a mirrored mask, chip by chip sliding away until that moment in the polluted stream when Ezekiel exposes his true self to Jerry. My only complaint is that the jumps back to other conversations broke the emotional momentum for Ezekiel too much. Even then, by the end the emotions dragged me in again for that last bit of heartache.

Is there a petition anywhere to get these people to stop killing animals? At this point, given that both Walking Dead properties are likely to linger on an animal’s death more than any humans—look at Eric, he died off screen and didn’t get a proper goodbye—it’s safe to say they enjoy writing these particular death gags. Which is not something I say lightly. Look at the track record, though. Then look at the scene they gave Shiva. It’s great that they wanted to get as much emotion out of the cast as possible, but the scene itself becomes really uncomfortable to watch. Like we’re hostages forced to endure a pet’s death in order to ensure the safety of the others. We only sit through the drawn out tiger death to make sure Jerry and Carol get Ezekiel to safety. The entire time my gut screamed to turn it off. Walk away. Why put someone through that and call it entertainment? I just don’t get it. And yes, I know they’re sticking to the comics. That doesn’t mean the scene should have lasted so long. Would they devote the same detail to a human’s death? Not usually. Not anymore. There’s so many bodies on-screen at any given time, no one notices if twenty or so never show up again.

Khary Payton as Ezekiel, Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier, Cooper Andrews as Jerry – The Walking Dead _ Season 8, Episode 4 – Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

The gun plan looks doomed, considering those very guns just took out everyone. Carol ends up being the sole person capable of slowing down the Saviors tasked with taking the weaponry to Sanctuary in order to clear the dead and liberate those trapped inside. It doesn’t take much to get the drop on some of them, but there’s more than she thought inside. Waiting outside seemed more prudent, except there’s still too many to take out solo. Carol is classic, manipulative, cunning Carol this episode. She plays the Saviors for fools, dang near getting the prize by herself. Until she hears Jerry and Ezekiel, who are pinned against a locked gate by an oncoming horde. It’s a good thing she came out of retirement to save these guys from themselves, right?

All’s not lost on the gun front. Carol worries about the future for about five seconds before Daryl’s motorcycle roars in the distance. The cavalry arrives to finish the job and the others stumble back to the Kingdom as a trio, sans a ferocious, loyal protector. How long has it been since they’ve treated us to a chase scene? I can’t remember. It’s a tad ridiculous, believing the Savior couldn’t hit Rick’s Jeep with their huge gun. Barring that, it’s a little bit of action movie fun, down to the crash at the end and the buddy-cop vibes from Daryl and Rick.

Well, one large part of the plan is finally in place. Is the cost worth it? Is any of this worth what’s to come in the near future? Rick thinks so, but I have a feeling he won’t have as much moral support from here on out.


Crisis of Faith: Review for Z Nation 408

Crisis of Faith:
Review for Z Nation 408
By A. Zombie

There’s a hitch in their giddy-up. The zombies never stop coming. A horde from the north is swiftly heading toward a collision with undead coming up from the south. Guess who’s smack in the middle? Our heroes. They take refuge in a church. This one isn’t unoccupied. Dead nuns go after the gang, but are taken care of without too much drama—except the bit where Roberta totally saves Murphy’s bacon and he can barely muster a thanks to her. They have ample time to work things out. There’s no escaping through the church’s doors. Some crack under the weight of so many zombies trying to get in.

Now’s the perfect time to stop and meditate. It seems odd, but though surrounded by zombies, the gang still wants to figure out what’s going on in Roberta’s head. Without Lucy’s connection to her, she’s go no one monitoring her mental health and empathizing with her situation. That’s a lonely place. Murphy’s newly inoculated self can try to do the same, with a little focus. When Roberta finally shows him what she feels day in and day out, Murphy’s entire perception of her changes quicker than one can blink. He’s more careful with her, too, checking on her throughout the rest of the episode.

The gang’s not the only living souls in the church; despite sweeping for more dead nuns, they miss the random guy hiding in the basement. Not sure what it says about our heroes, but their gut says this newcomer is a grave robber, what with all the religious paraphernalia hanging off his coat and all. Things aren’t that cut and dry, but they don’t get a chance to get into it because the zombies are nearly through the doors. Louis, the maybe grave robber, has another way out, but it’s via the crypt.

But first, a pit stop, maybe?

Louis seeks a rare religious artifact, a reliquary holding the finger bone of a saint reputed to heal the sick. The circumstances of the saint’s death, and that of another whose story Louis shares, touches Murphy’s heart. While attempting to raid the grave of a bishop in possession of the reliquary, Murphy opens up a little, shares what’s weighing down his heart. Does this mean he won’t devolve into a jerk again? There’s no guarantees with Murphy, but he’s far more in touch with his emotions and that of his team now that he’s vented some of what’s drowning him.

The uber-Zs have a new trick up their ratty sleeves. This particular strand of zombie spreads through the air. In this case, reanimating the long-dead bishop just as they pop the seal on his tomb. Just great. They desperately needed another uncontrollable problem on their plates.

At this rate only a miracle can save them. The exit Louis sees on his blueprints is blocked by two walls. There’s no other way out. Are those church bells? Turns out there may be a deity watching after the gang after all. Some zombies tangle themselves in the bell cords, drawing the other dead to the racket. Everyone makes it out unscathed, and hey, Roberta happens to find the reliquary on the way out the door. It’s not such a bad day after all. Unless you’re Louis. He parts from the group to continue collecting religious artifacts for the true believers to possess after the apocalypse, and is promptly flattened by a flying nun. Good thing Murphy pocketed the blessed finger bone. What? Didn’t notice that? Watch again, he swipes it from the reliquary just as he turns it over to offer back to Louis palm-down so he doesn’t notice. It’s a smooth bit of slight-of-hand. Maybe that’ll come in useful. Or maybe Murphy wanted a tangible something to hold on to that reminds him of Lucy.

The plan for Newmerica may be changing again. Louis gifts the group a battery and Sarge uses it to check in on Kaya. Things up north aren’t that great. Kaya, Nana, and the kid are under attack by Zona forces with no help in sight. They’re barricaded in a panic room, but that’s only good for so long as they have supplies and power to run the distress calls. Will Roberta chose saving Kaya, following the visions, or Newmerica? It’s not clear where they’re headed, but it’s certainly not into Canada at that particular border corssing.