Out with the old baddies and in with the new. The Necronomicon has returned home to Hell after an extended vacation topside to chill with his Deadite homies. They’re probably lounging around a lava pit telling tales of possession and taking bets on how long Ash will last against Baal. One demon lord doesn’t seem that imposing in a franchise where the lead character faced an army of sassy skeletons and survived. Then Baal whipped out his massive powers.
Unlike some shows where the bad guys all have the same M.O., this one strives to venture into new, different lands. While having an episode plot based around “Who’s really the bad guy,” isn’t shining and new in the idea department, turning Baal into a skinwalker leaves a lot of fun to be had in a cliché plot device. It also allows the SFX department to give Baal’s goons a style not easy to forget. I mean, I’d wet myself if a skinless woman fell through my ceiling and ripped a prostitutes’ arm off, let alone forget it happened anytime soon. One failing in Baal’s powers is this seductive bullcrud he pulls on Ruby. She’s a badass, killing evil right and left; then Baal swivels his hips and she literally can’t form sentences? It’s a huge disservice to the female characters on the show to go from an episode where they clean house without any men to back them up, to Ruby practically begging for a little action from the guy who killed two women inside the sheriff’s station without blinking. Using sex to negate Ruby’s strength is a low blow. Ash gets laid all the time and he still gets the evil-slaying job done. Baal has so many other evil things he can do, let’s lay off the whole, “His groin is mesmerizing,” thing. Okay?
With everyone locked in the sheriff’s station wondering who’s got Baal crawling around in their skinsuit, tensions run higher than Chet’s blood-alcohol level. Sheriff Emery and Ash are at each other’s throats the entire time Linda is at the station. It comes down to Kelly to calm everyone down. By that I mean she grabs the sheriff’s gun and holds everyone hostage—when they’re technically already in a hostage situation. The Inception-like hostage situation happens again elsewhere in the station when Ruby goes to retrieve her dagger. Baal uses a deputy to work his D-Mojo on her, rendering her pretty much useless until the episode’s end when she just happens to help Ash save Linda.
Like having a skin-stealing demon on the loose wasn’t bad enough, Pablo’s got a mean case of what-the-hell-is-that spreading across his stomach. Personal theory, dude’s turning into something akin to the Necronomicon. Why else would he have Sumerian written across his torso? No one signs up for oozing boils and a dead language willingly. Ruby is thrilled about Pablo’s condition. Pablo would rather French kiss a shotgun. But, hey, he should be proud. He’s the key to saving the world . . . after dooming it by tossing the Necronomicon in Hell and freeing Baal.
Looks like more skin-jumping good times aren’t all that’s ahead for the show. Ashy Slashy may just finally win the girl this time around. Sheriff Emery isn’t the man his wife thought after shrieking throughout the fight with his skinless deputy. Linda breaks up with him then and there, totally falling for Ash’s blood-drenched swagger. All of them are out of their minds considering their having a lovers spat over a bisected, skinless corpse.
That’s the joy of this show. It doesn’t really care so long as Ash looks a fool, there’s about twenty gallons of blood used, and someone at home says, “What the heck is going on now?”
This week, horror fans got their fill of character’s brains on the ground. While the other show took every opportunity to draw out the drama from the character’s deaths, AvED went full splatstick, showing close-ups while Ash attempts to piece his father together again after the Classic mowed him down. It’s no use. There’s not enough skull intact to hold it all in place, plus Brock’s missing an eye—which is neatly embedded in the Delta’s grille. It stares down Pablo and Ash while they discuss a plan of action over Brock’s corpse. The plan, apparently, is for Pablo to charge the possessed car by himself and become its captive alongside the sheriff’s daughter. Pretty sure that’s not how one wins the war against evil.
Pablo’s newfound bravery is a farce. He’s reacting purely from fear and Evil knows it, manipulating Pablo to do what it wants through his bizarre connection to the Necronomicon. Matter of fact, the fallout from one conversation with the book changes everything for Ash and his team. We’ve waited so long for Pablo to finally step up and be the hero, but he’s going about it the wrong way. So now we get to sit and watch him set the world ablaze. Neat. Maybe we’ll get more super-intense visions, like the car crash, along the way. I loved the mild shock from watching Pablo stagger around with a steel bar longer than he is tall through his chest.
The possessed Delta isn’t their only problem. In true men-sense, the guys completely overlook the demonspawn still camped in the crematorium in favor of chasing the Classic to the local demolition derby stadium. Ash even takes a highly intoxicated Chet along for the pursuit. That leaves the ladies on the team to take care of Ruby’s ill-behaved children. What Ruby didn’t take into account is that they’ve spent their time gaining strength in order to fulfill their father’s wishes. The spawn are way stronger than their mother now. Kelly saves Ruby’s bacon a couple times—gratitude is a sensation I’m sure is completely foreign to Ruby. This is the first solid moment the ladies have had where they were just as hardcore as the men without eventually falling back on Ash’s uncanny competence at killing in order to win the day’s battle. They mow through the demonspawn with a couple close-calls on the getting maimed front.
Unfortunately, killing the demonspawn doesn’t do a thing to slow Baal’s roll. Pablo gives him a Get Out Of Hell Free card when he listens to the Necronomicon and together they open a hellgate in the Classic’s trunk. Great. Now we’re cooking with fire. Bring on the big bad. Things are about to get even worse and I cannot wait.
Last Call Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 203 By A. Zombie
Ash enlists some help to make sure this party rages hard enough to coax the teens who stole the Delta from whatever shadow they’re hiding in. Chet’s introductory scene is the perfect way to bring Ted Raimi onto the show. It’s bizarre, laced with weird inside jokes, and radiates Ted’s unique charm. Not to mention, it gives us a chance to see a sillier side of Kelly for a few moments—we’ll just ignore that two older, pervy men pressure her into drinking a Ketamine-laced cocktail, first. I will note the tongue-in-cheek PSA after the episode urging viewers not to ingest any cocktail mixed with drugs. They know it’s wrong to include laced drinks, but they’d rather apologize than ask permission. It’s pretty much how everything goes on this show, to be honest.
So, where exactly is the Delta while the party planning session commences? Getting high and fraternizing with teenagers. Basically, Ash with even less morals. With the Necronomicon left to work its influence on the Delta, things turn to crap fast for Amber, Tyler, Lacey, and their pals. Tyler gets the worst of it, losing his manhood after Amber reads from the book and becomes a deadite. The sheriff’s daughter, Lacey, has a front row seat for each death caused by the Delta—including the final, and most tragic, murder after the dual showdowns during the most awkward party ever at Chet’s bar.
There can’t be a shindig in town without Brock making an appearance. Plus, that’s his bar. Ash left Elk Grove, the bar, and his father long ago. Brock wishes he’d leave again and makes it known pretty much the minute he enters the setup/party. Ruby draws the short straw, stuck on Brock-sitting duty. Basically, she has to stop the old guy from being creepy around young people. One must ask, which old guy? Ash does an astounding job of being weird and obviously out of his peer-level without his father’s aid. It does give Ruby time to try and teach Brock how to speak to a lady, yanking his nose after he makes several skin-crawling advances. Unfortunately, the tree is exactly like the apple it produced and Brock isn’t phased in the least after the assault to his nostrils.
The Williams men face off twice in this episode. First, to win Amber’s attention for a bathroom fling. Then a mechanical bull-riding challenge to prove who is the better man. Brock wins both. Which is so not a good thing. Pablo kicks Ash’s mopey backside into gear after they discover Amber is a deadite. That’s one fight Ash actually wins. Victory is short-lived. As are Brock’s praises. The Delta arrives at the party just in time to miss the big fight. It doesn’t miss Brock as he’s in the midst of telling Ash something life-changing. Too soon, we’re waving goodbye to Lee Majors and the grumpy charisma oozing from his pores. He made a fun addition to the show and gave them the chance to build Ash’s backstory at last.
Barring another Christine-esque episode, the gang has the Necronomicon and their getaway vehicle once again. Perfect. Now what? They have what the hellspawn desire. The freaky children are hell-bent on raising Baal. Ash is a giant target so long as he holds the book, standing in their way to victory. I suspect we’ll see the gang wiggling like worms on a hook soon to lure the hellspawn in so they can deal with them for good. That’s if they get the chance to plan anything and they’re not side-swiped by evil again.
The Morgue Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 202 By A. Zombie
The team is all about divide and conquer. They don’t trust Ruby further than Pablo can throw her, which is about a foot. So he stays behind to grill her about the freaky hallucinations he’s had since popping out her hellspawn. Turns out they’re precognitive visions, but only Ruby can translate the jumbled mess vomited into Pablo’s mind through his connection to the book. According to her, the misbehaving hellbrats want to wake daddy dearest, Baal. Judging from the ferocity of Pablo’s vision, the guy is the worst of the worst. Because that’s just what Ash needs when he’s supposed to be retired.
While the gang scrambles to save the world—again—Brock dims the lights and settles in for a romantic night with his current favorite lady. Lillian Pendergrass also happens to be Ash’s ex-lover. Well, technically, she’s an ex-ex-lover. Poor Lillian kicked the bucket and a Deadite took her for a joyride. It finally brings the danger Ash faces daily right into Brock’s living room. The fallout will be astounding with these hard-headed men.
Ash and Kelly are on Necronomicon duty. That’s a really unfortunate phrase.
Field trip to the morgue! All Ash knows is the book is in a body, so he leaves Kelly in the hall to stand guard and tackles the treasure hunt alone. Good thing she’s there, too. Ever-hateful Sheriff Emery is on his way to the morgue, but gladly takes the chance to stop and harass Kelly about the recent unexplained deaths in town. Her patience is gone. The sheriff learns this firsthand.
With too many bodies to pick from and no description to work from, Ash reverts to his old ways, using a chainsaw to hack through each body he finds. Should’ve looked, first. The Necromonicon is in the final body, but it’s been there long enough to influence the flesh hiding it. Ash realizes he got the crappy job rather quickly. This scene is by far the most hilarious, graphic, and disgusting gag I’ve seen anyone film. If there was any wonder if this show is okay for children, Ash getting his head rammed up a dead guy’s backside firmly answers the question—no, now quit adding to your kid’s future therapy bill.
The mortifying experience pays off. Ash and Kelly scram, Necronomicon in tow. They almost make it back to Pablo and Ruby without incident . . . then they encounter a couple low-IQ locals with a knack for car theft. Thinking he is smart, Ash hides the book in his car until they discover Ruby’s intentions—only for the car to be stolen while they argue.
Ash can’t catch a break. A bigger bad waits for the door to be unlocked by freaky bald guys. His dad is still a jerk. His companions barely know or trust each other. And the key to saving mankind is in the back of the only thing he actually owns, but it’s in the hands of petty morons. He’s got a long way to go if mankind will survive Baal’s arrival.
Pablo and Kelly sling beer at a dive bar in Jacksonville, FL while Ash makes himself the life of the party. For one of them, life after the deadite invasion is golden. There’s plenty of hot chicks, alcohol, and his little lizard buddy is there to play wingman. Ash’s happiness is hollow and fleeting, like a chocolate bunny left in an oven. Things are amiss with the dark side. They’re gonna need the bumbling savior once again.
Enter the deadites, and they’ve got a message from the woman in charge, “The truce is over.” Ash’s fighting skills were swapped for keg-cutting and flirting. The fights are slapstick, with Ash struggling to do the heroic moves he’d mastered over years fighting evil. The deadites, primarily a woman he’d flirted with before crap hit the fan, taunt Ash with “Ashy Slashy” rhymes. There’s only one way Ruby knows exactly how to get under his skin—she’s in Elk Grove, his hometown.
There’s no waffling around, when Ash reaches Elk Grove, he stops by the old homestead. Enter Brock Williams—Ash’s cantankerous, unsupportive father, who greets house guests by firing a warning shot past their ear. There’s no love in his heart for his wayward, murdering son or his sidekick, Pablo, but he really wants a date with Kelly. The offer is shot down before he finishes asking her out.
With nothing more than a city’s name, the gang’s gonna need some help finding Ruby. Too bad Ash is the town’s local serial killer and they want less than nothing to do with him, or his mission to save mankind. Linda Bates is the sole kind soul at the bar Ash visits looking for information. Her kindness ends where her husband’s hatred begins, though. Sheriff Thomas Emery would gladly tar and feather Ash if given the chance.
Pablo ends up proving his usefulness . . . by having wicked violent hallucinations linking his mind to the Necronomicon again. The hallucinations, and Pablo’s mind, are sharp enough to feed the gang the clues they need to find Ruby. It’s too easy. They’re totally walking into a trap.
It’s actually a trap for the Mother of Darkness. Ruby’s been cornered in Elk Grove’s crematorium since the freak deadite storm in Florida. Her babies, those freaky little bastards, matured into malicious demonspawn hellbent on using the Necronomicon to their own devices—personal theory, they want to summon Great Daddy Evil and get the family reunion really rolling. The only way Ruby knows to contain the new evil threat is with Ash’s help. There’s a boatload of character development for Ruby in her brief scenes. Necessary development since it’s well known the character didn’t have much on paper when Lawless took on the role for season one. As much as I enjoy watching Ash fumble through his savior complex, I want to see what Lawless can do with Ruby. There’s great potential for her to go good or evil, and that’s the real attention-grabber for season two. When it comes time to decide, will Ruby back Ash or will she fall to old ways and reign over evil once her darling problem children are disposed of?
The adult demonspawn are freaky. There’s awesome physical movement from the one who attacks Pablo, in particular. It’s easy to rely on scary makeup to push the point, but changing the way the creature moves to make it truly inhuman makes a simplistic design much more effective. They also morph into shadow creatures and take on human form, adding infinite opportunity to mix up fight scenes if these guys are going to stick around as the primary kill-target this season.
With the gang together again, they’re off to stop Ruby’s great mistake. So, what are the odds Ash annoys her so much she tries to kill him before they’ve been on the road an hour?
First up, don’t miss Fear the Walking Dead‘s return for the latter half of season two starting Sunday August 21st at 9/8c. We’ve been promised crazier dead-obsessed folks. Madison is on a quest to save Nick. Plus Alicia becomes a badass, and there’s a father/son road trip which will likely crash and burn. Oh and a hotel that apparently rains corpses.
Z Nation will be the next to hit the airwaves with their recently announced September 16th . . . or was that the 23rd for the premiere? To clear up confusion, David Michael Latt, the show’s producer, became a one-man FAQ. He filled in fans via Twitter, saying the two-hour episode airing on the 16th is what he called a, “lost episode,” which will feature returning characters. This episode/movie begins at 8/7c and sets up the action for the third season, which begins the following week. Latt said there may be a ZN marathon before the new season begins. He also said season three is “nuts,” and shared a link to pirated footage for a teaser premiered at SDCC. After watching said footage, I agree. Season three looks downright bonkers.
Hope you’re ready to get groovy, baby. Ash vs Evil Dead is back on Starz on October 2. Be prepared for bloodier FX, funnier jokes, and Lee Friggen Majors as Ash’s papa. I mean, what more do I need to say about this show? They’ve done what they intended and gave Evil Dead fans something to salivate over—or in most cases, vomit from the gore. We’ve been promised some “Holy crap” tie-ins to the previous films. They’ve already confirmed some special guests, like Ted Raimi and Joel Tobek coming in to play this season’s big bad, Baal. In this season, we’ll learn about Ash’s past while the gang cleans up the mess he and Ruby made last season.
On October 23rd at 9/8c, The Walking Dead returns to AMC for its seventh season. Talking Dead aired a special on August 14th to tease everyone about the upcoming premiere. Basically it was forty minutes of awkward conversations dodging actually saying something about the season. Every recorded video from the actors simply repeated the tired, “This episode will gut you,” rhetoric. There was a spicy exchange by Melissa McBride and Lennie James, singing each other’s praises. Their characters head off to The Kingdom and they’ve spent a lot of time together while shooting. Scott Gimple sent along a message for Chris Hardwick to read. For the most part, it confirmed that the show is aligning more with the comics, but they will still put their unique spin to whatever comes. The big reveal came when they aired a forty second clip featuring Dwight cleaning up a bunch of blown up walkers. Yeah, not much of a tease.
Last up, iZombie. Seeing as this is a mid-season show, it doesn’t have an airdate just yet. What do we know? The CW’s president recently gave props to the show-runners, stating that iZ would have a place on the network as long as it continues to perform well. He also confirmed a thirteen episode season three. Team Zombie is hard at work on set. “Hard” seems like the wrong word after scrolling past photos of their behind-the-scenes antics, but I trust they’re also getting some work done.
Much like Bruce Campbell the second he hit the San Diego Comic-Con stage, I cannot and will not contain my giddy fangirl squeal over Lee Majors joining the cast for AvED’s second season. A few scant years ago, Campbell told fans he would play Ash again when monkeys flew out his backside, and now he’s got the Six Million Dollar Man playing his pops on TV. Campbell did look a tad sheepish when someone toward the panel’s end brought up that very statement. I’m sure many, many fans are grateful he was wrong.
A surefire way to make a buck at the con over the weekend was to either sit on the panel with Campbell, or sic your children at him from the front row. The star first bribed his costars to say the right things, even Majors and the panel moderator. Then once the questions started, he paid three children to take off their DC villains costumes and get jobs. Yes, folks, Bruce Campbell took several moments to stop and parent someone else’s kids after discovering the first, a ten year old, watched the show. Pro tip: Don’t be that dad. You can see which one in the panel footage Starz posted.
On to the juicy details. Really juicy. Creator Sam Raimi says season two has more intensity. Which in their language means more blood. Good thing Starz is cool with whatever these good people want to put on screen. Campbell praised the cable network for staying hands-off. If Raimi, Tapert, and Campbell attempted to revive the franchise with another film, it wouldn’t have happened, according to the star. Sam Raimi elaborated on the Starz topic. “They want to provide something that’s not just out there, but can’t be found anywhere else on television, anywhere on cable. They want it to be a unique experience so that nobody is providing anything like it.” Well, ain’t that an understatement? Not seeing many networks lining up to show Campbell’s ass or someone smoking weed from a shotgun.
Lucy Lawless returns as Ruby. This season she’s finally a fleshed-out character and in need of Ash and his team. Or as she put it, “…fully in this ferocious second season.” While, yes, Ruby played a large part in season one, they created her as they went. Lawless said the character didn’t even have a last name until episode nine. Having Ruby along will make things a little more balanced for Kelly. We can expect to see some, “girl power thing,” from the ladies this season.
Ted Raimi rejoins the Evil Dead crew. He plays Chet Kaminski, Ash’s childhood friend. When discussing why they brought Ted back, Campbell said, “This is stupid. Where’s Ted? We’ve got to torment someone else on this show.” Aside from the apparent 30 year-old Kick Me sign on Ted’s back, he brings a fun dynamic to the crew missing in the previous season. The energy they had during the panel was insane. Except Majors. He seemed content to take it all in quietly. I don’t blame him. Those panels are overwhelming the first time around. Dana DeLorenzo and Ray Santiago were likewise awestruck when they sat after being introduced.
Ash vs Evil Dead returns to Starz in October. In the meantime, slake your bloodlust with the trailer.
There wasn’t much left at stake personally for Ash at the end. I really wanted him to feel more in this episode, and while he did show huge growth adding his team into negotiations with Ruby at the episode’s end, it’s sugar coating on Styrofoam.
We say goodbye, again, to Amanda. Her deadite counterpart crashes the party inside the cabin after Pablo has that thing latch onto his face. True to form, she is the one to deliver the infamous, “I’m going to swallow your soul,” line during her final fight with Ash. Before DeadAmanda is cut in half, Ruby takes Pablo and the Necronomicon into the basement. Things get freakier from there.
Doomed to his own ill-advised plans, Ash goes into the cellar alone to save Pablo. Okay, Kelly could have probably talked him into a group effort, but the cabin shook Ash into the basement where Ruby gave him a vision of the night he read from the book again to unleash more evil and get laid. This is where it gets a bit clunky. We’re to believe now that the Dark Ones are down to one Dark One who wishes not to unleash evil, but control it to maintain universal balance. All the vital information about Ruby’s scheme is dumped in this daydream. Then she attempts to make a deal with Ash, one we all realize he’ll probably take at some point just to screw things up even more. It ruins the surprise.
I don’t know why Heather was ever present, other than to give them someone other than tiny demons to kill in this episode. She’s meat. Don’t get attached. She sure isn’t attached to any body part by the time the cabin literally chews her up and spits her out in a gush of blood and chunks. The wave knocks Kelly down, honestly just dirt on a turd sandwich at this point. Kelly has been thrown around, had an eye pop on her and Heather, the guy she likes looks like he’s auditioning for a remake of The Mask, she’s locked out of the cabin, and the savior she’s supposed to rely on isn’t a team player. Eventually, she sets the cabin on fire, injuring it enough for it to unlock the doors.
In the basement it’s quite beautiful. I mean, that’s what everyone says when witnessing the miracle of birth, right? Unless it’s Pablo birthing demons by vomiting huge, wriggling, uterus-looking things. The demons which crawl out are played by children. They are evil. Evil children are evil. Why do people insist on tormenting me by adding demonic children to things I enjoy? Ash fights one child demon, the others flee.
Most of this episode is fight scenes. It keeps the awkward story bits from getting too much attention while highlighting an aspect from the films everyone loves—Bruce Campbell getting hit a lot. The final fight sequences all boil down to one thing: Ash has to make a decision. Either he can kill Ruby and wait to see how the chips fall with Pablo’s possession and the unleashed evil, or he can take the deal and trust Ruby to do as she says. He tries to get the best of both worlds, ensuring safe passage for Team Badass and a little money to help them on the way. It’s not as much cash as he wanted, but they have gas money. Yes, Ash just handed the future of mankind to an evil woman for a couple bucks and a trip to Jacksonville, FL.
Ruby totally reneges on the deal, too. There’s sinkholes popping up all over the area as Team Badass trundle off into the sunset. At least we know there’s still evil to fight in season two.
Those adventures brought up an arm-long question list from fans. This return to the source should’ve answered a few questions, right? It really only answered one: What kind of dagger is it Ruby keeps so well hidden? Amanda accidentally finds the answer in a journal inside the cabin; the dagger can melt the binding on the Necronomicon. But as far as Ruby’s true identity, her connection to evil, or anything truly in depth about what they’re facing? Nope. Nada. Zilch. We get heavy-handed callbacks to Evil Dead, some poorly executed, and a death we all saw coming since episode 103. I said in my last review that the formula was killing the fun, well . . . . It’s dead, Jim.
The glorious parallels to the film franchise were few and far between, but at least they started it off right. We catch up with Ash walking in the woods, communing with undead birds. Then, the cabin appears. The porch swing bangs against the wall—thump, thump, thump, thump, stop. My shriveled heart actually beat when Ash hit the porch. But from there on out, each reference fizzles or only manages to illicit a, “Huh, I remember that.” They even brought in the dreaded ex-girlfriend scenario. Now, it may be nostalgia coloring my memory, but was Linda always so insufferably obnoxious? I remember she did whine a little, but the actress they brought in to be Linda’s head took whine to professional levels. There is no authenticity in the performance. She phoned in what she parroted, poorly, from the source material. There’s a scene where evil flings things at Ash and steals his technohand, marred by Linda’s incessant whining and fellatio jokes. We get a BadAsh in this episode, for heaven’s sake. That alone should make plotting through Pablo and Kelly’s B-story of nothingness worth it.
Nope.
BadAsh gets lumped in with the Ashmanda plot. Of course. We see what may be character growth from Ash and it’s his psycho half manipulating the heck out of Amanda by hinting at a happy future between them. How did BadAsh come about? Well when a severed hand and a demon love each other . . . . Basically, the hand grew an Ash. BadAsh has Amanda fooled up until she realizes he’s got a rather funky appendage. They fight. She loses. Of course she does. The boss fight in this whole thing has to be Ash against a deadite woman. Because if fans haven’t figured it out by now, his worst enemies are himself and love. Even in Army of Darkness Ash’s greatest enemy isn’t the skeleton army at the gates, but the possessed woman he once fell for out of the blue and BadAsh. Literally everyone else is in the movie to fight or die in the background; they don’t matter. So why even attempt to get Pablo and Kelly into the episode if they’re doomed to similar fate? Why not make the episode focus on the fights with Linda and Ash, Amanda and BadAsh, and finally Ash vs BadAsh? They planned to leave the final fight on a cliffhanger, anyway. Why not put more focus on what’s obviously the sole goal in the episode?
There’s two episodes left. I’m eagerly awaiting something on this show surprising me.
Does it feel like the honeymoon is over? For me, the shine on the blood-encrusted gold rings AvED slipped on fans’ fingers dulled. Why? The formula. The movies series used the formula well—Ash arrives, evil, death, and chaos follow. In the end, our main man walks away, dirty, tired, possibly maimed, and alone. Though they negated the alone part physically, Ash is mentally alone on this trip. Breaking the formula down to fit the series means each episode is pretty predictable. We can only have so much fun watching Kelly and Pablo take two gallons of blood to the face for five minutes in each twenty-something minute episode. While they do tend to mix up the fights and gross-out gags, it’s not enough to make us sit up and go, “Oh.”
When did horror television become about maintaining the same instead of breaking boundaries? This franchise, most of all, was the last I expected to play it safe. Showing Bruce Campbell’s butt in the first episode is not living dangerously.
When we left the gang, they’d killed deadites in a restaurant and left with a bonus team member—Amanda. We catch up with them in the middle of a misty forest, discussing the merits of Ash allowing the others to join him, though he’s still hesitant considering the formula and everyone except Ash dying as a result. Now would the show really kill off Pablo, Kelly, and Amanda? I want to say no, to give it something more to hold over the films—and also give them a solid base for the future considering season two was green-lit before episode 101 aired.
But here we are. Again. With Ash doubting his team even as he leads them to meet with his old pal Lem’s militia group in order to gear up for the final battle with evil. Before they even make it into the camp, they find a gutted corpse, an injured man babbling about an attack, and masked militants who shoot first, ask later. Luckily, it only applies to the injured man, who they think is, “…one of those things,” and their leader makes his head the consistency of oatmeal.
Ash talks his way into an actual meeting with the armed brain trust—that’s sarcasm if you can’t tell. Before they get to haggling for the good guns, evil arrives in the form of DeadLem, who’s mostly naked and possessed. The militia think he’s been gassed by Big Brother. If that’s a demon’s name, then they’re so on point. Unfortunately, these goons are slow on the uptake. Don’t get attached. Most end up dead. The others survive, but only to run away once they realize they’re way out of their element.
Lem’s attack, times with the team’s arrival, make the militia nervous. Ash and Amanda are handcuffed together, then dumped in another section of the compound. Why not, say, a jail cell? It’d be easier to keep captives captive if they’re not left to wander through endless tunnels, one of which surely leads outside. It does give them time to discuss Ruby, who isn’t dead, but rises from the ashes and reclaims her car. No worries, DeadLem somehow finds his way into the labyrinth to stalk the handcuffed—and flirting—duo. I’d hoped they would forego forcing one of the women on the team into Ash’s bed, but there it is, Ashmanda. DeadLem makes several attempts to blow up the pair. At last Amanda gets one over on the deadite. Ash thanks her by almost kissing her, until they’re interrupted by the cavalry.
Kelly and Pablo escape captivity after DeadLem’s meeting-time attack. The militia spread out to find them, though they manage to hide pretty much in plain sight alongside the dirt road leading to the compound. The big plan? Steal a gun, a gas mask, and take over the compound with Pablo posing as a militia member. The plan works, up until they miscalculate the number they’re against and get nabbed mid-theft. They’re dumped in a truck, but the vehicle goes nowhere. A deadite wipes out the guys holding them. Pablo takes out the deadite with the militia’s truck. Kelly makes sure it’s really dead after testing the new-to-her semi-automatic rifle. She unloads the gun into the deadite. Pablo is covered in blood. Off they go to save the day and interrupt a kiss which I believe should never happen if they wish to maintain the integrity of Amanda’s character.
The team catches—and releases when they leave—the militia, then pilfers whatever they may need for the fight at the cabin. Ash gives a rousing speech about how much he appreciates everyone.
Then Ash ditches the team. Because, formula. Or he was abducted. But my guess is he ran to save them. Annoying since it’s been his stance since the get go and they negated actual character growth by perpetuating his distrust. “But he’s protecting them!” A group who a minute before he leaves calmly pumps a deadite full of bullets. No hesitation. No worrying about the human it once was. They put the deadite down, saved the militia, and helped Ash secure weapons. They’ve earned trust, but the show’s writers are stuck on the notion that Ash’s appeal is his swagger and lone wolf routine. His appeal is the ability to adapt to any situation, even if that situation requires competent backup.
Unlike some shows where the bad guys all have the same M.O., this one strives to venture into new, different lands. While having an episode plot based around “Who’s really the bad guy,” isn’t shining and new in the idea department, turning Baal into a skinwalker leaves a lot of fun to be had in a cliché plot device. It also allows the SFX department to give Baal’s goons a style not easy to forget. I mean, I’d wet myself if a skinless woman fell through my ceiling and ripped a prostitutes’ arm off, let alone forget it happened anytime soon. One failing in Baal’s powers is this seductive bullcrud he pulls on Ruby. She’s a badass, killing evil right and left; then Baal swivels his hips and she literally can’t form sentences? It’s a huge disservice to the female characters on the show to go from an episode where they clean house without any men to back them up, to Ruby practically begging for a little action from the guy who killed two women inside the sheriff’s station without blinking. Using sex to negate Ruby’s strength is a low blow. Ash gets laid all the time and he still gets the evil-slaying job done. Baal has so many other evil things he can do, let’s lay off the whole, “His groin is mesmerizing,” thing. Okay?
This week, horror fans got their fill of character’s brains on the ground. While the other show took every opportunity to draw out the drama from the character’s deaths, AvED went full splatstick, showing close-ups while Ash attempts to piece his father together again after the Classic mowed him down. It’s no use. There’s not enough skull intact to hold it all in place, plus Brock’s missing an eye—which is neatly embedded in the Delta’s grille. It stares down Pablo and Ash while they discuss a plan of action over Brock’s corpse. The plan, apparently, is for Pablo to charge the possessed car by himself and become its captive alongside the sheriff’s daughter. Pretty sure that’s not how one wins the war against evil.
Pablo’s newfound bravery is a farce. He’s reacting purely from fear and Evil knows it, manipulating Pablo to do what it wants through his bizarre connection to the Necronomicon. Matter of fact, the fallout from one conversation with the book changes everything for Ash and his team. We’ve waited so long for Pablo to finally step up and be the hero, but he’s going about it the wrong way. So now we get to sit and watch him set the world ablaze. Neat. Maybe we’ll get more super-intense visions, like the car crash, along the way. I loved the mild shock from watching Pablo stagger around with a steel bar longer than he is tall through his chest.
The possessed Delta isn’t their only problem. In true men-sense, the guys completely overlook the demonspawn still camped in the crematorium in favor of chasing the Classic to the local demolition derby stadium. Ash even takes a highly intoxicated Chet along for the pursuit. That leaves the ladies on the team to take care of Ruby’s ill-behaved children. What Ruby didn’t take into account is that they’ve spent their time gaining strength in order to fulfill their father’s wishes. The spawn are way stronger than their mother now. Kelly saves Ruby’s bacon a couple times—gratitude is a sensation I’m sure is completely foreign to Ruby. This is the first solid moment the ladies have had where they were just as hardcore as the men without eventually falling back on Ash’s uncanny competence at killing in order to win the day’s battle. They mow through the demonspawn with a couple close-calls on the getting maimed front.
Ash enlists some help to make sure this party rages hard enough to coax the teens who stole the Delta from whatever shadow they’re hiding in. Chet’s introductory scene is the perfect way to bring Ted Raimi onto the show. It’s bizarre, laced with weird inside jokes, and radiates Ted’s unique charm. Not to mention, it gives us a chance to see a sillier side of Kelly for a few moments—we’ll just ignore that two older, pervy men pressure her into drinking a Ketamine-laced cocktail, first. I will note the tongue-in-cheek PSA after the episode urging viewers not to ingest any cocktail mixed with drugs. They know it’s wrong to include laced drinks, but they’d rather apologize than ask permission. It’s pretty much how everything goes on this show, to be honest.
So, where exactly is the Delta while the party planning session commences? Getting high and fraternizing with teenagers. Basically, Ash with even less morals. With the Necronomicon left to work its influence on the Delta, things turn to crap fast for Amber, Tyler, Lacey, and their pals. Tyler gets the worst of it, losing his manhood after Amber reads from the book and becomes a deadite. The sheriff’s daughter, Lacey, has a front row seat for each death caused by the Delta—including the final, and most tragic, murder after the dual showdowns during the most awkward party ever at Chet’s bar.
The Williams men face off twice in this episode. First, to win Amber’s attention for a bathroom fling. Then a mechanical bull-riding challenge to prove who is the better man. Brock wins both. Which is so not a good thing. Pablo kicks Ash’s mopey backside into gear after they discover Amber is a deadite. That’s one fight Ash actually wins. Victory is short-lived. As are Brock’s praises. The Delta arrives at the party just in time to miss the big fight. It doesn’t miss Brock as he’s in the midst of telling Ash something life-changing. Too soon, we’re waving goodbye to Lee Majors and the grumpy charisma oozing from his pores. He made a fun addition to the show and gave them the chance to build Ash’s backstory at last.
The team is all about divide and conquer. They don’t trust Ruby further than Pablo can throw her, which is about a foot. So he stays behind to grill her about the freaky hallucinations he’s had since popping out her hellspawn. Turns out they’re precognitive visions, but only Ruby can translate the jumbled mess vomited into Pablo’s mind through his connection to the book. According to her, the misbehaving hellbrats want to wake daddy dearest, Baal. Judging from the ferocity of Pablo’s vision, the guy is the worst of the worst. Because that’s just what Ash needs when he’s supposed to be retired.
While the gang scrambles to save the world—again—Brock dims the lights and settles in for a romantic night with his current favorite lady. Lillian Pendergrass also happens to be Ash’s ex-lover. Well, technically, she’s an ex-ex-lover. Poor Lillian kicked the bucket and a Deadite took her for a joyride. It finally brings the danger Ash faces daily right into Brock’s living room. The fallout will be astounding with these hard-headed men.
With too many bodies to pick from and no description to work from, Ash reverts to his old ways, using a chainsaw to hack through each body he finds. Should’ve looked, first. The Necromonicon is in the final body, but it’s been there long enough to influence the flesh hiding it. Ash realizes he got the crappy job rather quickly. This scene is by far the most hilarious, graphic, and disgusting gag I’ve seen anyone film. If there was any wonder if this show is okay for children, Ash getting his head rammed up a dead guy’s backside firmly answers the question—no, now quit adding to your kid’s future therapy bill.
Pablo and Kelly sling beer at a dive bar in Jacksonville, FL while Ash makes himself the life of the party. For one of them, life after the deadite invasion is golden. There’s plenty of hot chicks, alcohol, and his little lizard buddy is there to play wingman. Ash’s happiness is hollow and fleeting, like a chocolate bunny left in an oven. Things are amiss with the dark side. They’re gonna need the bumbling savior once again.
There’s no waffling around, when Ash reaches Elk Grove, he stops by the old homestead. Enter Brock Williams—Ash’s cantankerous, unsupportive father, who greets house guests by firing a warning shot past their ear. There’s no love in his heart for his wayward, murdering son or his sidekick, Pablo, but he really wants a date with Kelly. The offer is shot down before he finishes asking her out.
First up, don’t miss Fear the Walking Dead‘s return for the latter half of season two starting Sunday August 21st at 9/8c. We’ve been promised crazier dead-obsessed folks. Madison is on a quest to save Nick. Plus Alicia becomes a badass, and there’s a father/son road trip which will likely crash and burn. Oh and a hotel that apparently rains corpses.
Z Nation will be the next to hit the airwaves with their recently announced September 16th . . . or was that the 23rd for the premiere? To clear up confusion, David Michael Latt, the show’s producer, became a one-man FAQ. He filled in fans via Twitter, saying the two-hour episode airing on the 16th is what he called a, “lost episode,” which will feature returning characters. This episode/movie begins at 8/7c and sets up the action for the third season, which begins the following week. Latt said there may be a ZN marathon before the new season begins. He also said season three is “nuts,” and shared a link to pirated footage for a teaser premiered at SDCC. After watching said footage, I agree. Season three looks downright bonkers.
Hope you’re ready to get groovy, baby. Ash vs Evil Dead is back on Starz on October 2. Be prepared for bloodier FX, funnier jokes, and Lee Friggen Majors as Ash’s papa. I mean, what more do I need to say about this show? They’ve done what they intended and gave Evil Dead fans something to salivate over—or in most cases, vomit from the gore. We’ve been promised some “Holy crap” tie-ins to the previous films. They’ve already confirmed some special guests, like Ted Raimi and Joel Tobek coming in to play this season’s big bad, Baal. In this season, we’ll learn about Ash’s past while the gang cleans up the mess he and Ruby made last season.
On October 23rd at 9/8c, The Walking Dead returns to AMC for its seventh season. Talking Dead aired a special on August 14th to tease everyone about the upcoming premiere. Basically it was forty minutes of awkward conversations dodging actually saying something about the season. Every recorded video from the actors simply repeated the tired, “This episode will gut you,” rhetoric. There was a spicy exchange by Melissa McBride and Lennie James, singing each other’s praises. Their characters head off to The Kingdom and they’ve spent a lot of time together while shooting. Scott Gimple sent along a message for Chris Hardwick to read. For the most part, it confirmed that the show is aligning more with the comics, but they will still put their unique spin to whatever comes. The big reveal came when they aired a forty second clip featuring Dwight cleaning up a bunch of blown up walkers. Yeah, not much of a tease.
Last up, iZombie. Seeing as this is a mid-season show, it doesn’t have an airdate just yet. What do we know? The CW’s president recently gave props to the show-runners, stating that iZ would have a place on the network as long as it continues to perform well. He also confirmed a thirteen episode season three. Team Zombie is hard at work on set. “Hard” seems like the wrong word after scrolling past photos of their behind-the-scenes antics, but I trust they’re also getting some work done.
The glorious parallels to the film franchise were few and far between, but at least they started it off right. We catch up with Ash walking in the woods, communing with undead birds. Then, the cabin appears. The porch swing bangs against the wall—thump, thump, thump, thump, stop. My shriveled heart actually beat when Ash hit the porch. But from there on out, each reference fizzles or only manages to illicit a, “Huh, I remember that.” They even brought in the dreaded ex-girlfriend scenario. Now, it may be nostalgia coloring my memory, but was Linda always so insufferably obnoxious? I remember she did whine a little, but the actress they brought in to be Linda’s head took whine to professional levels. There is no authenticity in the performance. She phoned in what she parroted, poorly, from the source material. There’s a scene where evil flings things at Ash and steals his technohand, marred by Linda’s incessant whining and fellatio jokes. We get a BadAsh in this episode, for heaven’s sake. That alone should make plotting through Pablo and Kelly’s B-story of nothingness worth it.
BadAsh gets lumped in with the Ashmanda plot. Of course. We see what may be character growth from Ash and it’s his psycho half manipulating the heck out of Amanda by hinting at a happy future between them. How did BadAsh come about? Well when a severed hand and a demon love each other . . . . Basically, the hand grew an Ash. BadAsh has Amanda fooled up until she realizes he’s got a rather funky appendage. They fight. She loses. Of course she does. The boss fight in this whole thing has to be Ash against a deadite woman. Because if fans haven’t figured it out by now, his worst enemies are himself and love. Even in Army of Darkness Ash’s greatest enemy isn’t the skeleton army at the gates, but the possessed woman he once fell for out of the blue and BadAsh. Literally everyone else is in the movie to fight or die in the background; they don’t matter. So why even attempt to get Pablo and Kelly into the episode if they’re doomed to similar fate? Why not make the episode focus on the fights with Linda and Ash, Amanda and BadAsh, and finally Ash vs BadAsh? They planned to leave the final fight on a cliffhanger, anyway. Why not put more focus on what’s obviously the sole goal in the episode?
