Service: Review for The Walking Dead 704

the-walking-dead-season-7

Service
Review for The Walking Dead 704
by R.C. Murphy

Watch out! Episode spoilers below.

twd-704-neganatgateTo give the old ways a push out the door before we settle into the Alexandria monotony again—though they did take the time to show Rick and Michonne in bed together, first—Negan makes a house call to collect his half of their stuff. The episode is a “90-minute shopping trip,” as several fans put it, with some threats tossed in to make it somewhat bearable. Negan is the snake in Alexandria’s Eden. With Rick by his side, he slithers through taking a mental and physical inventory of his newest acquisition. Interaction with the big man and the many is sparse, Negan preferring to use Rick as his mouthpiece to address the town. Negan gets face time with plot-pushing characters—Carl, Spencer, Rosita—plus there’s a few interactions I can’t help but think means the character will die sooner rather than later in the inevitable war with the Saviors. His mere presence sends everyone into a tizzy, and he laps up the chaos like an attention-starved tween girl. Mad props to Gabriel for being one of few to think clearly and quickly after the Saviors arrive, making it appear as though Maggie didn’t survive the miscarriage after all. Though his actions and his uncanny ability to startle their new overlord puts him firmly in the top five on my dead pool. That’s not a comfortable prospect for any character, just ask Olivia how gut-knotting a position that can be.

The big moments in the episode happen after Carl threatens Negan and the boss puts Alexandria on a firearm lockdown. Everything in the town’s vast inventory is collected. All except two handguns, which are in the books but nowhere in sight. Que panic. But only for Rick. Everyone in the town meeting has a look like they want to stand up, fight, put the Saviors in the ground in some spectacular way. Some of them, even after knowing Olivia would die without the weapons in Negan’s hand ASAP, were ready to arm up and roll out. Fighting for a cause is great, but pick your battles and don’t do anything at the expense of someone who’s devoted her entire time to easing their strife as far as supplies and inventorying them go. Eventually they disperse to search for the weapons. Olivia gets a surprise date with Negan . . . and possibly Lucille, too. Who has the guns? Spencer. There’s a complete lack of surprise when Rick notices the loose vent grate. Nor is it surprising to see more stolen food/booze in Spencer’s house. They established his paranoia early enough and firmly enough, his second betrayal doesn’t warrant a blink. Yet again, I wonder why Spencer thrives when characters with more potential are sacrificed to the plot monster. Then again, every show needs a scapegoat. TWD loves to lean on theirs, up until they kill them in some forgettable way.

twd-704-checkinggunaccountingThat bit of tension with the guns is so drawn out, it’s a non-issue by the time Spencer returns from his side trip with Rosita—fetching Daryl’s bike and having a long talk about accepting the new world order or bucking against the system. The time it takes to resolve any problem is the glaring issue in these 90-minute episodes. Audiences don’t have the attention span to properly appreciate Negan and Dwight’s mind games. They’re playing the long game in an instant gratification world. Fans want flashy conflict with well-defined reasons and minimal subtlety. Leave just enough plot motivation below the surface to make attentive fans feel clever, but everyone else wants a short-form action flick every week. They’re not going to get it. I know this. You may even know this, but one look at the fandom in general and they’re woefully unprepared to think through the Negan era. Character motivation has always been spoon-fed to them. All the little puzzles and plot twists have fallen away—remember how mad we were when TERMINUS was a cannibal’s wet dream and the CDC’s only solution to the apocalypse was to blow itself up—replaced by Richonne concerns and some serious story telegraphing whenever characters speak out against their leader. Spoilers: They always die when they question Rick for more than a moment.

Daryl is in the episode. He blinks a message to Rick, I guess. I’m so over Daryl’s story, I took Negan’s threat to heart and forgot the guy was in the episode until they showed another reaction shot of him looking awfully concerned, but it could be gas.

twd-704-michonnetargetpracticeLooking to the future is difficult when the characters are settling in for a long winter under a crazed dictator. It could become seriously monotonous, with constant failed attempts to undermine Negan without full-frontal conflict. There could be a few solid hits from Alexandria which loosen his grip. They could all die in a firefight at three in the morning because Negan decided he wasn’t getting enough from them and wants the city. Whatever happens, it’s likely the blooming resistance force will be led by three people: Michonne, Carl, and Maggie. Michonne missed the shopping trip, but saw the town’s discarded/burned mattresses not long after promising Rick she’d try to work with the new rules. Settling for anything has never been Carl’s M.O., evident way back in season two when he wouldn’t, couldn’t stay put despite having been shot. There’s no need to say why Maggie will lead this rebellion until the day they win or she dies. Why them and not Rick? His speech to Michonne before taking her rifle. He’s got so much at stake, he’ll literally eat Negan’s feces to stay alive long enough to give Judith a Sweet 16 present. It’s no longer good enough to know any people survive in the world, Rick has to know his blood lives on after he’s gone. Obsession over one’s lineage is what doomed Henry VIII—he lost Rome’s backing, married like he changed his poofy pants, and in the end produced one legitimate male heir too fragile to remain on the throne, throwing his kingdom into turmoil years after his death. The lesson? Focusing fifteen-plus years down the road means you’re blind to the monster sneaking up behind you. Rick’s monster just happens to think he’s more useful alive. For now.


Trapped Inside: Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 206

ash

Trapped Inside
Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 206
by A. Zombie

No one else is impressed by Pablo’s demonic seizure outside Ash’s childhood home. They drag him inside and immediately devise a game plan. Unfortunately for Pablo, that plan requires him to get sicker before Ruby has the correct spell to banish Baal. Ash’s plan is simpler, crude, and bound to fail—track down Baal and cram his chainsaw up the demon’s backside. Ignoring the awful Plan B, Ruby and Lacey take Pablo up to Ash’s room to perform a ritual that’ll speed up the process of turning him into a book. Wait, what? Yeah, it’s not a much better plan, but guarantees Ash won’t taste his own chainsaw when Baal wins that fight. They toss in a nice throwback to season one and uncle Brujo, using the charm he left behind as a way to make Ruby’s spell go awry. It takes Kelly emotionally manhandling Pablo—convincing him he is in control on the convergence with the book—for the correct spell to blister on Pablo’s skin. Brujo’s amulet goes back on Pablo to slow his transition to book of the dead. It’s a temporary fix, but will work. They’ve got other concerns which pop up during the course of the ritual in Ash’s room.

aved-206-kellyshootsovermobIt doesn’t take a genius to see that Baal’s best ally in the war on Ash is Sheriff Emery. The guy’s had it out for Ash for decades, even went so far as to marry the woman Ash had a relationship with before the first encounter with the Necronomicon. Old blood feuds have deep roots, something Baal banks on when he starts his mental manipulation. It takes about two minutes to convince the sheriff to gather a mob to recapture Ash. The demon hops into a new skin-suit for the occasion, a loud-mouthed woman who I think is the mother of one of the Classic’s victims. Could be wrong. The dialog for the mob is often jumbled together and muted as Baal works his mojo on Emery. Elk Grove hasn’t faced anything like Baal before, but they’ve also never come up against Kelly and her pure crazy. She and Linda hold the line, firing warning shots at the mob to buy Ruby time for the spell.

aved-206-byecherylThere’s a side-effect of invoking the book of the dead, deadites. Well, in this case, just one in particular. Talk about a shout-out to the source material, Ash’s sister Cheryl comes back to extend the family reunion theme for this season. Ellen Sandweiss returns to the franchise, playing Cheryl as she’d look if she survived the trip to the cabin. The makeup for Cheryl’s deadite look has been morphed to fit the style set for the show, but remains faithful to the original film. Her scenes are amusing, full of atrocious puns referring to her demise by tree. The interaction between the siblings is reminiscent of how the early deadites preferred to play more than just kill.

Ash vs Evil Dead Season 2 2016Unfortunately for Chet, he chose an awful day to break into Ash’s house and, uh, fantasize about Cheryl while alone in her room. Things go from fun and games to bloody mess pretty fast once Cheryl has an innocent bystander to use against her brother. The outcome is heartbreaking. While I’d hoped Chet would stick around to play bigger buffoon to Ash’s moron, he’s no match for the evil in his buddy’s life.

The plus side of Cheryl pushing Ash too far? Now maybe Elk Grove will believe him when he says he kills demons. Pissed over losing his friend, Ash takes the fight public to make a point—he’s been saving their hateful, backwards selves for years, but they’re too dumb to realize it. Cheryl starts off with a human face in public, but Ash goads her into showing her dead face. As expected, the crowd opens fire. Ash is the one to land the killing blow, though.

There’s no time for celebration. Baal and the sheriff step in and take control before the blood spatter on Ash’s face cools. He’s knocked out, leaving the remaining mob, plus his team, without humanity’s savior. One step forward, a whole football field back.


Welcome to Murphytown: Review for Z Nation 307

zns3

Welcome to Murphytown
Review for Z Nation 307
by A. Zombie

zn-307-trustexerciseThere’s a wolf hidden amongst Murphy’s flock. The Man makes his grand comeback, posing as a newcomer to town. That game lasts a heartbeat until Murphy spots the big, bald guy and has him brought in for a private audience. Things don’t progress as predicted, seeing as Murphy is distracted by his stomach. What I thought for sure would be a boot to the backside, turned into a trust exercise, capped off with a grey matter snack for the men. Funny, and disgusting. The chunks TM blows after the scene are, well, chunky. What a waste of a good meal. But he’s passed the test. The Man found his footing in Murphy’s organization less than an hour after entering the gate. Impressive. Also shows a huge, gaping hole in Murphy’s world domination scheme—his ego doesn’t account for his failing grip on humanity and reality. Instead of bringing in a known, trusted team member, he snags the new guy—who helped mow down an entire settlement of peaceful people—and gives him an easy way to manipulate Murphy to his will. After all, the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

The action in Spokane becomes a mental dance between The Man and Murphy. If TM gets his way, he’ll have Murphy on the road to Zona before sunset. Murphy just wants someone ruthless and non-judgmental to deliver brains for his meals. The Man makes a serious miscalculation, ending with the men in a tussle. Murphy handcuffs The Man, but it doesn’t last long. TM even takes the time to leave behind a message. It’s not long, but the meaning is crystal clear.

zn-307-doc10kcart10k and Doc are picked up on the roadside like stray pups left in an abandoned shopping cart. Roberta’s team is whole once again, this time with an ace up their sleeve. If 10k can get over the nightmares and constant urges to express loyalty to Murphy, he should lead them to Spokane in no time. They’re not even that far away. There’s a problem in the plan. Lucy. She also has the potential in her blood to create a cure. Dr. Sun would have an easier time handling a child, as well. But they really do need to stop Murphy from amassing a larger army. Time to divide and conquer. Addy and Doc will get Lucy. Everyone else trudges on to Spokane.

They arrive just in time to witness Murphy’s greatest triumph yet: City-wide electricity. How does one stop a man who continuously delivers on his promises, therefore securing the loyalty of super-powered and desperate people? Roberta has a lot of work on her hands. Hopefully the side mission doesn’t take long. It’ll require all hands on deck to overtake an electrified, well-populated Spokane.

zn-307-citzkayaIt’d be easier to get everyone back together if the NSA compound were fully functional once more. Citizen Z, Kaya, and her family work to restore power in the facility. The radio even broadcasts a signal strong enough to reach out and touch someone—too bad Addy can’t respond. My problem with dragging the Citizen Z story line along is mostly because Kaya’s jealousy over Addy is seriously off-putting. Can’t they just leave Kaya to be a person and not a stereotypical fanatical female fan?

All hands will also mean Roberta needs to sort out what to do with 10k. She knows about his bite and wants to help, but he’s so paranoid—from the additional cure or Murphy’s degrading sanity leeching through their bond, I don’t know—that his only answer to her offer is to bolt like a frightened rabbit. When we catch up with them again, it’ll be interesting to see how she talks him off this particular ledge.


The Cell: Review for The Walking Dead 703

the-walking-dead-season-7-daryl

The Cell
Review for The Walking Dead 703
by R.C. Murphy

Spoiler warning! Not that there’s much to spoil . . . .

Number one, the unavoidable Reedus nudity. I signed off on the last review with a snippy remark about Daryl being nude as a selling point for The Powers That Be at AMC. Sure enough, it took nearly ten minutes into the episode for Daryl to be sufficiently clothed. Master Dwight may have given Dobby clothes, but he’s not a free elf. Much to my chagrin. This story line has the potential to go nowhere given the lack of know-how when it comes to handling the Character Development Forgot.

twd-703-sherrydarylTo balance out the awkwardness of cramming Daryl into the Sanctuary lifestyle, they give him a woman to talk to—a misnomer, she talks, he bobs his head or gives soulful eyes. Sherry originally came onto the show with her sister and Dwight after they stole insulin for the sister. Now she’s back to make sure the show doesn’t devolve into a sausage fest during Sanctuary scenes, and to give fans a woman to ‘ship Daryl with, because that’s so necessary. It’s obvious no matter what comes out of her mouth, she has no agency to actually make it happen. Daryl doesn’t listen to her. Dwight and Negan treat her like a commodity, though the former at least has the decency to blush as his boss lays out the full transaction for their new guest. She skulks around the compound like a frightened cat, and is always hidden the minute the big guy is nearby.

twd-703-goodeatsThe inevitable showdown between Daryl and Negan only ever had one outcome. He effed up and got Glenn killed, that guilt will keep Daryl on the side of the angels for as long as possible. And now that he has a woman to fight for, or help Dwight fight for, he’ll stubbornly remain Rick’s attack dog. Until they beat it out of him, that is. Negan’s not going to keep giving him free Alpo sandwiches, clothes, and shelter for long. Just like in The Kingdom, you reap what you sew in the Sanctuary. But you better be sewing a lot more than what the boss lets you reap. No one upstages that man except Lucille.

Dwight may be a potential ally, if Daryl could stop being an A-class jerk for half a second. His self-pity will prevent this pair-up from happening for too long, probably. Meanwhile, Dwight stews in his resentment, ripe for turning against Negan with a push in the right direction. Of course, it’d take a chess partner as skilled at manipulation as Negan to really make it work. Not sure Daryl is up for five coherent sentences in a row, let alone convincing Dwight to work from the inside out to dismantle the Saviors. Maybe that’s why Sherry was brought along as baggage. She’ll do the convincing so Daryl can brood enough for twelve TV bad-boys.

twd-703joeydwdarylWe meet more Saviors, some who’ll probably be go-to men throughout the season. Only one of the goons got a name outside the official “I am Negan” moniker—Fat Joey. Dr. Carson seems reasonable, but is completely in Negan’s sway. If the big guy crapped a rainbow, the doctor would say, “I told you so.” On the flipside of the coin, Dwight chases a doomed character, Gordon, down the road a ways. This guy is done living in Negan’s wet dream for the apocalypse. He just wants an out, any out. He’d rather take a bullet than serve Negan again. Instead of complying, Dwight’s insecurity about his place in Sanctuary push him to permanently enslave Gordon as a walker on their fence line.

Why is it the actions of a new character scream development, but a man who’s been there since episode two hasn’t grown at all? If anything, Daryl has regressed into even less of a character since they stripped away his remaining family and doused pretty much every relationship he started which delved deeper than passing acquaintance. What are they waiting for? Why hold back with this one character? Crap or get off the pot, already. They need to find a way to make him an actual part of the story, not just an object the story happens to or around. I would’ve rather we see an episode without any of Rick’s people involved to get a real taste of the Saviors. So far, everything’s been from someone else’s POV. If they want to truly shock us, let us see what it’s like when the machine runs smoothly. Negan’s efficiency is what’s truly terrifying. He gets things done. But how? All we ever see is him reprimanding one man, maybe two. Show us how he handles all his business. Intelligence can be serious nightmare fuel in the right hands.

Next week, Negan makes a house call. It’s supposedly a long episode, so anticipate me saying they added unnecessary things to make a non-event writing wise feel like a big to-do. It’s all they ever do with these extended episodes. But I’ll take it for the extra time to watch Jeffrey Dean Morgan smirk.


Confinement: Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 205 By A. Zombie

Out with the old baddies and in with the new. The Necronomicon has returned home to Hell after an extended vacation topside to chill with his Deadite homies. They’re probably lounging around a lava pit telling tales of possession and taking bets on how long Ash will last against Baal. One demon lord doesn’t seem that imposing in a franchise where the lead character faced an army of sassy skeletons and survived. Then Baal whipped out his massive powers.

aved205baalsslickmovesUnlike some shows where the bad guys all have the same M.O., this one strives to venture into new, different lands. While having an episode plot based around “Who’s really the bad guy,” isn’t shining and new in the idea department, turning Baal into a skinwalker leaves a lot of fun to be had in a cliché plot device. It also allows the SFX department to give Baal’s goons a style not easy to forget. I mean, I’d wet myself if a skinless woman fell through my ceiling and ripped a prostitutes’ arm off, let alone forget it happened anytime soon. One failing in Baal’s powers is this seductive bullcrud he pulls on Ruby. She’s a badass, killing evil right and left; then Baal swivels his hips and she literally can’t form sentences? It’s a huge disservice to the female characters on the show to go from an episode where they clean house without any men to back them up, to Ruby practically begging for a little action from the guy who killed two women inside the sheriff’s station without blinking. Using sex to negate Ruby’s strength is a low blow. Ash gets laid all the time and he still gets the evil-slaying job done. Baal has so many other evil things he can do, let’s lay off the whole, “His groin is mesmerizing,” thing. Okay?

aved205sheriffholdupWith everyone locked in the sheriff’s station wondering who’s got Baal crawling around in their skinsuit, tensions run higher than Chet’s blood-alcohol level. Sheriff Emery and Ash are at each other’s throats the entire time Linda is at the station. It comes down to Kelly to calm everyone down. By that I mean she grabs the sheriff’s gun and holds everyone hostage—when they’re technically already in a hostage situation. The Inception-like hostage situation happens again elsewhere in the station when Ruby goes to retrieve her dagger. Baal uses a deputy to work his D-Mojo on her, rendering her pretty much useless until the episode’s end when she just happens to help Ash save Linda.

Like having a skin-stealing demon on the loose wasn’t bad enough, Pablo’s got a mean case of what-the-hell-is-that spreading across his stomach. Personal theory, dude’s turning into something akin to the Necronomicon. Why else would he have Sumerian written across his torso? No one signs up for oozing boils and a dead language willingly. Ruby is thrilled about Pablo’s condition. Pablo would rather French kiss a shotgun. But, hey, he should be proud. He’s the key to saving the world . . . after dooming it by tossing the Necronomicon in Hell and freeing Baal.

Looks like more skin-jumping good times aren’t all that’s ahead for the show. Ashy Slashy may just finally win the girl this time around. Sheriff Emery isn’t the man his wife thought after shrieking throughout the fight with his skinless deputy. Linda breaks up with him then and there, totally falling for Ash’s blood-drenched swagger. All of them are out of their minds considering their having a lovers spat over a bisected, skinless corpse.

That’s the joy of this show. It doesn’t really care so long as Ash looks a fool, there’s about twenty gallons of blood used, and someone at home says, “What the heck is going on now?”

aved205ashsaveslinda


The Well: Review for The Walking Dead 702

the-walking-dead-season-7

The Well
Review for The Walking Dead 702
by R.C. Murphy

Whoa! Hold on a minute. There’s episode spoilers below. Proceed with caution.

Why does it feel we were cheated out of more depth in the premiere after seeing what the production team did to present a fully-fleshed Kingdom?

Lennie James as Morgan Jones, Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier - The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 2 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Lennie James as Morgan Jones, Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier – The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 2 – Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Because we were cheated. The premiere, as I said before, was edited specifically to make cliffhanger naysayers wait for any story resolution. That petty decision killed the episode’s pacing, making this week’s feel refreshing, but not for any reason the TWD crew wanted. It’s refreshing because something actually happens. Carol and Morgan go places, do things, grow as people, and find their place in the world during the scant forty-something minutes allotted. Rick stared at some zombies, got people killed, and ended up exactly where we knew he would—in league with Negan.

I guess what I’m getting at is, they don’t know how to write or direct their main character or the super-bad guy they’ve brought in to shake things up. High-tension moments for Rick and Negan turn laughable when silence is held for thirty seconds too long. But when Carol and Morgan discuss her departure from The Kingdom and having the free will to do so, I couldn’t turn away. There is no immediate threat to either character. No hammer over someone’s head at another location to instill concern in the fans when the scene’s substance is lacking. It’s just two people discussing the future with the weight of their weariness in their voices, and I wanted more. More frank discussions about who these people have become since leaving Atlanta. More Carol not giving an ounce of crap about what anyone thinks and calling them on their bull. More time with Morgan as a teacher, not a killer. And I definitely want more long conversations in the dark with Ezekiel and Carol.

twd-702-zekejerrywalkerkillingDoes his apple taste as sweet as promised? Man, there’s so many innuendos at the episode’s end, my head spun. And I loved it. We needed new characters to come in and remind us, not to mention our favorite survivors, that laughter is a thing. A joke won’t bash in your head. Giggling won’t cost an arm or a leg. No one will bite your face off if you smile at the stupid pun dancing through your head. Society for us, and on the show, is a nightmare. Finding the people who’ve still got the ability to look at the bright side of life is vital to balancing the mental trauma from the apocalypse—and this year’s election. That being said, Jerry is totally my favorite thing since sliced cheese. His zany antics balance Ezekiel’s carefully calculated demeanor. We need, nay we deserve a Jerry-centric episode. Someone make this happen, please.

twd-702-ezekielcarolrealtalkDo I need to mention the tiger? Shiva is a wonderful addition. Her animation isn’t clunky and she’s “grounded” in the room, but I feel they did too much by adding a couple unnecessary shots during Carol’s initial introduction to King Ezekiel. Save your budget. Gonna need it for fake blood during Negan’s episodes.

Speaking of our favorite a-hole, he’s got his fingers in The Kingdom’s pies, as well. Smart cookie that he is, Ezekiel uses Morgan as backup several times throughout the episode, namely when they’re gathering and delivering tribute to the Saviors. These little piggys aren’t all they seem. They’ve been eating walkers for who knows how long before they’re butchered and handed over. Presumably this is done in order to make the Saviors sick during a long game of revenge. All I can think of is Bob yelling, “Tainted meat,” while the TERMINUS survivors enjoy their Bob-b-que. With The Kingdom paying tribute regularly, Rick is bound to end up on pickup duty one day. What a day that’ll be. I hope Morgan knocks Rick’s face sideways with that stick of his before one word is said.

Come on, we all know Rick’s earned it.

Looks like we’re catching up with Daryl next week. Expect man tears, dirt, blood, and probably unnecessary male nudity. They’ve got to do something to bring female fans back to the television, and selling Daryl as a sex symbol seems to be the only plan in the TWD playbook. Maybe they’ll surprise me and make the episode truly deep and meaningful. Yeah, and I’ll win the Lotto next week, too.


DUI: Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 204

aved-s2

DUI
Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 204
by A. Zombie

aved-204-theclassicThis week, horror fans got their fill of character’s brains on the ground. While the other show took every opportunity to draw out the drama from the character’s deaths, AvED went full splatstick, showing close-ups while Ash attempts to piece his father together again after the Classic mowed him down. It’s no use. There’s not enough skull intact to hold it all in place, plus Brock’s missing an eye—which is neatly embedded in the Delta’s grille. It stares down Pablo and Ash while they discuss a plan of action over Brock’s corpse. The plan, apparently, is for Pablo to charge the possessed car by himself and become its captive alongside the sheriff’s daughter. Pretty sure that’s not how one wins the war against evil.

aved-204-chetjoinshuntPablo’s newfound bravery is a farce. He’s reacting purely from fear and Evil knows it, manipulating Pablo to do what it wants through his bizarre connection to the Necronomicon. Matter of fact, the fallout from one conversation with the book changes everything for Ash and his team. We’ve waited so long for Pablo to finally step up and be the hero, but he’s going about it the wrong way. So now we get to sit and watch him set the world ablaze. Neat. Maybe we’ll get more super-intense visions, like the car crash, along the way. I loved the mild shock from watching Pablo stagger around with a steel bar longer than he is tall through his chest.

aved-204-rubykellyThe possessed Delta isn’t their only problem. In true men-sense, the guys completely overlook the demonspawn still camped in the crematorium in favor of chasing the Classic to the local demolition derby stadium. Ash even takes a highly intoxicated Chet along for the pursuit. That leaves the ladies on the team to take care of Ruby’s ill-behaved children. What Ruby didn’t take into account is that they’ve spent their time gaining strength in order to fulfill their father’s wishes. The spawn are way stronger than their mother now. Kelly saves Ruby’s bacon a couple times—gratitude is a sensation I’m sure is completely foreign to Ruby. This is the first solid moment the ladies have had where they were just as hardcore as the men without eventually falling back on Ash’s uncanny competence at killing in order to win the day’s battle. They mow through the demonspawn with a couple close-calls on the getting maimed front.

Unfortunately, killing the demonspawn doesn’t do a thing to slow Baal’s roll. Pablo gives him a Get Out Of Hell Free card when he listens to the Necronomicon and together they open a hellgate in the Classic’s trunk. Great. Now we’re cooking with fire. Bring on the big bad. Things are about to get even worse and I cannot wait.


Doc Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Review for Z Nation 306

zns3

Doc Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Review for Z Nation 306
By A. Zombie

All the usual violent diagnosis patients make an appearance in the supporting cast: Paranoid Delusion, Kleptomania, Dissociative Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, etc. The patients are kept in line by Nurse Ratched, who’s just as cracked as the guy who thinks he’s Elvis. Doc finds himself in a bad spot until Ratched makes an offer he’d be idiotic to refuse—diagnose the patients properly and she’ll not only let him go, but he can help them. Doc’s keen insight, and actual expertise at psychoanalysis, get him out of the most immediate pickle rather easily. Things don’t continue as planned when Ratched introduces Doc to their newest, and wildest, patient.

zn306-10kwakesWhile the Serenity Falls gang misjudged Doc, they totally got it right when they trussed up their newest patient and locked him in a padded room. 10k may not see Red and 5k anymore, but he’s madder than the Hatter without a clean cup. Coherency is a lost art once 10k opens his mouth. Doc is quick to cover for him, claiming the kid has Ten-Kay Fever and disavowing any knowledge of his new patient. At least one of them is in a position to help. For the most part, 10k is a barely animated potato sack. The vaccine in his system is wearing off. He struggles constantly with thoughts of Murphy loyalty and his need to free himself from control before warning Roberta.

Warning anyone may be a ways off. Ratched is convinced Doc will be their guiding light. However, she still thinks her methods are best when it comes to the more violent patients. Lobotomy is the word of the day. Bob, a depressed man with brain damage, is Ratched’s constant guinea pig for new techniques. There’s more holes in his brain than in a good sourdough loaf. He’s given a new lobotomy to prepare for 10k’s possible emergency surgery. 10k is not responding to treatment and something has to be done before the seizures kill him.

zn306-liddykillszLike, oh, Ratched actually handing out medication instead of snacks during med time. Every single bottle of pills and vial of whatever is blocked by a hallway teeming with zombies. Never fear, Doc and Elvis are ready to take on the Shocker Zombies in Ward Z. Are they quick enough? 10k takes a turn for the worst while they’re grabbing the meds. Liddy, the paranoid patient, and Ratched wheel 10k into the surgical suite.

Bad luck, Doc. The man with OCD, Re-Pete as they call him, is in charge of unlocking the doors in order for Doc to escape incoming zombies and get to his buddy before the nurse turns him into a shambling meatsack like Bob. Winona, the kleptomaniac, ends up being a solid ally during these moments. Actually, she’d make a decent addition to the main team. Her thieving skills are beyond anything the gang’s got in their wheelhouse. But it’s Bob who gets the MVP award for the episode after disposing of Ratched in his gloriously stiff, Frankenstein’s Monster-esque way.

zn306-rocketlaunchedzThe remaining action in the episode is basically Doc wrangling cats. He wants desperately to save everyone from the zombies slowly ripping through the hasty barricades over the hospital’s exits. They all make it outside in one piece to find the sole vehicle left on the ground, a small bus. Winona wastes no time hot-wiring it after Doc finally turns everyone in the right direction.

Unfortunately, Doc and 10k aren’t on the bus when she drives away from the encroaching zombies. With his wobbly charge in tow, Doc makes a run for it. Where they’re going, no one knows. They’re getting close to Murphy, though. With 10k returned to the fold, though desperate to hide his zmurphed status, it shouldn’t be too hard to trap their prey. Right? Yeah, we all know they’ll foul this up, too. It’s just how the show rolls.


Last Call: Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 203

aved-s2

Last Call
Review for Ash vs Evil Dead 203
By A. Zombie

aved-203-chetpablokellyAsh enlists some help to make sure this party rages hard enough to coax the teens who stole the Delta from whatever shadow they’re hiding in. Chet’s introductory scene is the perfect way to bring Ted Raimi onto the show. It’s bizarre, laced with weird inside jokes, and radiates Ted’s unique charm. Not to mention, it gives us a chance to see a sillier side of Kelly for a few moments—we’ll just ignore that two older, pervy men pressure her into drinking a Ketamine-laced cocktail, first. I will note the tongue-in-cheek PSA after the episode urging viewers not to ingest any cocktail mixed with drugs. They know it’s wrong to include laced drinks, but they’d rather apologize than ask permission. It’s pretty much how everything goes on this show, to be honest.

aved-203-rubykellyplotSo, where exactly is the Delta while the party planning session commences? Getting high and fraternizing with teenagers. Basically, Ash with even less morals. With the Necronomicon left to work its influence on the Delta, things turn to crap fast for Amber, Tyler, Lacey, and their pals. Tyler gets the worst of it, losing his manhood after Amber reads from the book and becomes a deadite. The sheriff’s daughter, Lacey, has a front row seat for each death caused by the Delta—including the final, and most tragic, murder after the dual showdowns during the most awkward party ever at Chet’s bar.

There can’t be a shindig in town without Brock making an appearance. Plus, that’s his bar. Ash left Elk Grove, the bar, and his father long ago. Brock wishes he’d leave again and makes it known pretty much the minute he enters the setup/party. Ruby draws the short straw, stuck on Brock-sitting duty. Basically, she has to stop the old guy from being creepy around young people. One must ask, which old guy? Ash does an astounding job of being weird and obviously out of his peer-level without his father’s aid. It does give Ruby time to try and teach Brock how to speak to a lady, yanking his nose after he makes several skin-crawling advances. Unfortunately, the tree is exactly like the apple it produced and Brock isn’t phased in the least after the assault to his nostrils.

aved-203-mechanicalbullThe Williams men face off twice in this episode. First, to win Amber’s attention for a bathroom fling. Then a mechanical bull-riding challenge to prove who is the better man. Brock wins both. Which is so not a good thing. Pablo kicks Ash’s mopey backside into gear after they discover Amber is a deadite. That’s one fight Ash actually wins. Victory is short-lived. As are Brock’s praises. The Delta arrives at the party just in time to miss the big fight. It doesn’t miss Brock as he’s in the midst of telling Ash something life-changing. Too soon, we’re waving goodbye to Lee Majors and the grumpy charisma oozing from his pores. He made a fun addition to the show and gave them the chance to build Ash’s backstory at last.

Barring another Christine-esque episode, the gang has the Necronomicon and their getaway vehicle once again. Perfect. Now what? They have what the hellspawn desire. The freaky children are hell-bent on raising Baal. Ash is a giant target so long as he holds the book, standing in their way to victory. I suspect we’ll see the gang wiggling like worms on a hook soon to lure the hellspawn in so they can deal with them for good. That’s if they get the chance to plan anything and they’re not side-swiped by evil again.


Little Red and the Wolfz: Review for Z Nation 305

zns3

Little Red and the Wolfz
Review for Z Nation 305
By A. Zombie

zn-305-10ksrideThings in 10k’s noggin aren’t one-hundred-percent after Merch dosed him with the original cure and then he jumped into the river. His psychosis takes the form of Red, who we met in the season-opener. She leads him through the unfamiliar forest. Good thing one of them can think—10k pretty much checks out mentally the whole episode—because Will Chaffin is still on his trail. They play chase for a while. Something in the forest hunts them at the same time. We never get a good look at these “wolfz” until they’re all dead. They’re seriously underwhelming for all the build-up. I expected some weird furry zombie. More deformed military men? Really?

zn-305-redfantasy2The real story is 10k’s inability to handle reality. At first, the Red hallucinations scare him as much as the racket the wolfz make in the distance. Eventually, he seeks her out during fights when he should focus completely on the thing trying to kill/capture him. During the moments he’s too weak to move on, she comforts him and in his mind, she’s protecting him while he heals. Red is the cure, essentially. If 10k were shooting heroine, she’d be the drug. It’s the typical junkie’s story, coupled with severe PTSD from the whole apocalypse thing and his time in Murphy’s thrall. The episode ends with 10k giving in and diving head-first into the fantasy. Weird how when he wants to escape, he lands at a picnic with 5k and Red, not back with the crew, or even reunited with Cassandra.

zn-305-murphyeatsmerchMurphy’s ego is a Weeble—it wobbles quite often, but never stays down. Merch’s death, and his perceived abandonment without her or 10k at his side, knocks his emotions all over the map. Before he fully snaps, he orders the troops to continue adding to their new home. He really does want to make sure there’s a truly safe place for people on the planet. The way he’s going about it leaves a lot to be desired. As does the overdrawn mental breakdown Murphy endures.

This might be the longest monologue on the show—that’s with Citizen Z living by himself for two seasons. Murphy mopes, rants, raves, and generally goes on like an entitled teenager who isn’t getting the newest gaming system for Christmas. He’s distraught Merch didn’t see his vision and instantly wish to fulfill it without questioning his motives. Worst of all, when he discovers she repeatedly took the original vaccine he realizes, “You’re saying it’s worse being me than being dead.” Uh, people tend to dig freedom in their mind over constant manipulation, dude.

Much like 10k’s side of the story, Murphy’s babbling doesn’t pay off until the end. Turns out, he was just hangry. A little nibble from Merch’s brain shines a whole new light on the darkness he thought loomed on the horizon.

Watch out, mankind. Murphy has what he needs to bring everyone under his sway and there’s no one in his way—for now.