I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed by author Shannon Mayer on her blog. She had some survival and zombie apocalypse questions, and in general, just wanted to pick my brain . . . er, wait a minute. That may be why I’m so sluggish lately.
I had fun doing this interview, so go check it out:
Shannon Mayer – How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
Dispatcher: Juliette Terzieff
Priority: HIGH
For the second time in a week Zombie Survival Crew has become embroiled in news of the zombie invasion nature. While the immediate threat levels remains, in ZSC Command’s informed assessment, low –the events in questions have made one thing perfectly clear: Now is the time to get prepared.
Last Saturday, Zombie Survival Crew cadres sprung into action after one of our own – Kim in TX – put out the word that “Sudden Zombie Attack” was trending. While our collective response was impressive even though the event was later determined not to be a zombie infestation, we identified some areas for improvement.
Then Wednesday news broke across the Internet of an official Center for Disease Control warning on preparation for a zombie pandemic*. (*note: the site takes a while to load, so please be patient. There are just that many people looking at it.)
The CDC’s preparation guide event tells ZSC Command two things:
1 – We have been right to suspect the UGA is not being completely honest with us, and may actually be working against us as we prepare to meet the onset of a cataclysmic event. After the CDC guide went viral the link stopped working. Government spokespeople blamed increased site traffic –our sources implicated the UGA’s hand. A few lucky souls were still able to access the CDC’s preparedness post. Feel free to keep trying here.
2 –There are those still within the government structures who agree with me and ZSC Command.
Zombie pandemic preparedness is serious business. The Zombiepocalypse may not unfold tomorrow, but an earthquake, war or other natural disaster could. Having a “go bag” and a pre-agreed escape plan is just plain smart.
Over the next several weeks ZSC Command will be rolling out official, brigade specific “go bag” packing lists in the Members Only area. Make sure to check in and see when your brigade goes up.
We’re also working on revamping our member skills/capabilities lists and escape routes to better accommodate our growing numbers.
And we need to move fast…zombie events are simply becoming too common to be a coincidence.
Dispatcher: Juliette Terzieff
Priority Level: High
For a moment I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when the tweet came through Saturday night. It was a loyal #zombiesurvivalcrew member with a stark warning: “Sudden Zombie Attack is trending!” We’ve had a few jokesters try to get one over on us. I calmly looked over to the side expecting to see that she’d misread something–
But she was right.
After a double take at Twitter to see that the trend was actually there, Command put out the word, and the Zombie Survival Crew cadres leapt into action.
Within 20 minutes of the distress call, Zombie Survival Crew members from across the United States and around the world raised their weapons. They were more than ready to back up @TheZSC Command as we sought to identify the source, gauge the risk level, and determine a course of action. Via Twitter, Facebook, and cell phone, ZSC cadres fed information into Command—allowing us to make the determination that the threat level was, in reality, minimal.
In other words – ZSC, you guys rocked!
Saturday’s exercise left Command with the following observations:
Our communication lines are pretty solid, but we are working on alternatives in case the Internet goes down.
Y’all are armed! Wow. From rifles to baseball bats, ZSC people are ready to fight off any challenge.
Those of you who do not have Go Bags need to get them ready. Command has brigade specific packing lists we will be putting up over the next few weeks in the Members Only area on the site. Feel free to pack according to your individual needs, but make sure your “Go Bag” has your brigade’s items.
Some Zombie Survival Crew members reported a startling lack of fellow crew members in their area – particularly in Europe and parts of South America. In order to ensure you aren’t left alone when the real event happens, we ask that you increase recruiting efforts in your neighborhoods. If the worst should happen and you do end up stranded, contact command @TheZSC, raise your weapons high so we can send help your way.
Also, we have a crew working hard on improved escape route maps. Utilize these maps to identify the closest concentrations of ZSC members in the United States.
Overall, your commanders are impressed with the speed in which you responded to a potential threat. Command salutes Kim, Kevin, Brooke, Christine and David for rapid deployment efforts on behalf of the ZSC!!!
Keep up the good work, guys!
::salutes with crossbow::
*For full access to ZSC Command dispatches and info, become a member here.
There was brief moment when I entered the Gates of Fire this past weekend where I seriously considered bolting. I’d like to say it had nothing to do with the orcs and elves and dudes with swords traipsing past me –but actually it was a conversation that I suppose was in English that involved units, realms, Urk Kuldar and something called a Dragonhood that really freaked me out.
But the Zombie Survival Crew commander-in-chief is no chicken.
Since we discovered the Unnamed Government Agency is not the ally we once thought it was, Zombie Survival Crew Command is actively recruiting fighters for the Zombiepocalypse. And where better to find true warriors than a Dagorhir event?
As the weekend unfolded in a haze of campfire smoke, exotic foods, even more exotic drinks and a mystery “skunk” that walked past the tent led by a ‘being’ called Dante, I learned some valuable lessons about the Dagorhirim and their world (and picked up a posse of protectors). There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that not only are these gentlemen and ladies perfect recruits for the ZSC, but engagement with them will enhance any ZSC member’s combat readiness. They’re experts in hand-to-hand combat, have survival gear by the truckload and can make a fire (and a meal) out of just about anything.
In order to save both sides from any potential friendly fire incidents, I suggest the following as reasons and rules of engagement for Zombie Survival Crew cadres and the Dagorhirim:
Rule #1 – Smile and nod. Zombie Survival Crew brigade members are unlikely to understand half of what the Dagorhirim say anyway, so just smile.and.nod
Rule #2 – Top recruitment target units are Sparta and Rome. These units are among the most cohesive and organized. And, hell, just look at this Spartan, Lith, striking out with his sword.
Rule #3 – Beware of Merkwood off the field of battle They are a lively, uber-friendly bunch but you are quite likely to find yourself in a “dare, double-dare” kind of situation with these guys that you can’t quite get out of without injuring yourself.
Rule #4 – Top individual recruits are Dagorhirim along the lines of Ogre, Mac, Viccer, Vors and Cancer. These guys are either tall or big, or both, and excellent to hide behind. I’ve already staked claim to the space behind Viccer during battle –the guy’s sword is as tall as I am, so I’m calling that a win.
Rule #5 – Do not accept anything to consume from the Apollyon leader Blackhawk –especially after dark when it is harder to see what he’s handing you. Just trust me on this one.
Rule #6- When you find yourself in battle with the Dagorhirim, you *may* find it a little confusing at first. At one point, I couldn’t tell if I was coming or going and then I got clocked by an arrow in the head so it really didn’t matter. However, Zombie Survival Crew Command recommends brigade members consider attending Dagorhir events and participating in the melee fights to prepare for urban-setting fighting during the Zombiepocalypse.
Rule #7 – It is probably wisest to avoid those who appear to be speaking in tongues. 
While they’re not zombies, and thus should not be put down, attempting to carry on a conversation with these individuals will give you a headache. Please, just trust the chief on this one.
Rule #8 – It might seem natural to focus recruitment efforts towards the males of Dagorhir. This is a mistake. The female fighters –like Fyxe, Havok, and Arzus– are tough, trained and worth a dozen men.
Rule #9 – Beside combat and basic survival skills, the Dagorhirim have among them talented seamstresses and tailors, like Kevat, who should be considered high value recruits. 
When the Zombiepocalypse hits it’s going to be hell on the wardrobe, and when the inevitable rips and tears occur you won’t be able to just wander into a Wal-mart for quick replacements.
Rule #10 – Don’t let the pallor of their skin fool you. Unlike Tolkien’s Orcs, the Orcs of Dagorhir –like Gix, Vors and Surg– are actually quite friendly. They’re also quick on their feet and loyal.
Field Report by Honorable Brigadier Grae Wolffe, SAPPED
There is no denying the Zombie Survival Crew is onto something. For all the talk and preparations, various members of the hierarchy find themselves targeted in inconvenient ways, from the simple annoyances in daily routine, to the full pursuit of more than a couple of our strongest. Other posts here have discussed some of the issues we all have experienced since the founding of the Crew.
Recently, it was brought to light the difficulties our own Jinxie has had, and the need for her constant moving and limited contact due to that infamous UGA making a living hell out of her life. To the point of nearly faking her death, Jinxie has kept one step ahead for the last few months, dodging those black SUVs and silent helicopters. From the limited contact we have maintained, it is known that she is alive and well, still avoiding the black hats and keeping her head down. Quite recently, she sent out a distress call with the above photo, where she was stuck in this blue elevator. Local ZSC members were able to locate and extract her before the UGA could collect her.
After months on the run, though, it seems the pursuit has waned, with exception to this last recent attempt at capture. Pictures have surfaced which show a secure area, and dispatches from Jinxie indicate good news ahead. With a hardened location, and careful screening of those nearby, her command center is being reestablished. Word is she has secured her location and will soon have an untraceable connection for communications. Once again, proving the resourcefulness of our commanders in keeping at least one step ahead of the UGA.
The lessons we can learn from Jinxie’s plight are many, but the most important one is to make sure we remain vigilant and stay ahead of those anonymous agents who are watching, trying to keep the ZSC from enlightening the public of the dangers from their planned pandemic. The “powers that be” have only maintained that control by keeping the public in the dark, working from the shadows and stretching their influence quietly. In the short months since our founding though, the Crew has quickly entered their sights, but we will not back down from informing the public, and preparing to fight back the hordes which the UGA plan to unleash upon the otherwise unsuspecting masses.
This past week was certainly… interesting. Some of my fellow Commanders decided it was necessary to duct tape me to a chair in command to keep me from publicly releasing the contents of the Zombie Survival Crew Anthology: Undead Is Not An Option.
I was more than a little peeved. I mean, come on, I managed to keep the exciting news private for months what made them think I couldn’t keep my yap shut for a few more days?
To make it worse, while I was busy gnawing through three layers of industrial strength duct tape so I could put out this little missive, Purple Brigade Commander LK went ahead and revealed the cover art!
Well now it’s finally my turn and I am honored to announce some of the talented contributors to Undead is Not an Option.
The following authors and artists have crafted some truly haunting material examining the many terrifying facets of a zombiepocalypse and what survival will ask of all of us:
Tasmin Bowerman, Jim Bronyaur, EC, Jessica Capelle, Natalie Cutrufello, Andrew Jack, Gary James, Maria Kelly, Samantha Lahue, Sonya May, RC Murphy, Chris Philbrook, Wendy Sparrow, Kelene Toups and Austin Wulf.
We are also absolutely thrilled to announce that cast members from AMC’s hit television show The Walking Dead have graciously agreed to increase Undead Is Not An Option’s creep factor with contributions of their own!! Huge thanks to IronE Singleton, Neil Brown Jr., Anthony Guajardo, and everyone else for their participation.
Make sure you leave space for Undead Is Not An Option in your go bags – because this is one guide you won’t want to be without!
Once upon a time my life was normal…or as normal as it ever gets for me. Married. Son grown, out on his own and doing well. I had a job, several hobbies and I was finally finding the time to get back to my writing. Then I began hearing quiet rumblings that the end of the world was coming in 2012.
Uh huh. Right.
Again?
Didn’t we just have one a couple years ago? How many apocalypses….apocalypti?…do we get, anyways?
I didn’t believe in the apocalypse, but events began piling up around my ears until I had no choice but to investigate the possibility that one might actually be headed our way. During my investigation I came across a small group of people, led by a woman with an outstanding resume. You can check her out for yourself: Juliette.
I watched as, one by one, people from all over the world began listening to her. Then they began banding together to inform and protect each other, their families, and friends. They became the Zombie Survival Crew. Curious about the members of the group, I checked them out thinking that they were a bunch of lunatics who needed to up the dose on their meds.
That’s not what I found though. Yes, they’re a motley crew and a few really are lunatics but they’re also on the ball, well-informed, armed and ready to face the zombiepocalypse. You’ll find a lot of what I discovered here.
Shortly after joining the Zombie Survival Crew ranks I began to suspect someone within the Command structure itself might be a double agent, or under the control of the Unnamed Government Agency. I dug deeper and profiled the leaders of the ZSC. You can find that report here.
Within days after that report someone hacked into my email. My computer began acting odd and, during a scan for malware and viruses, I discovered spyware and a tracking cookie. I traced the source code but was picked up almost immediately. I managed to catch a few words just before the screen blacked out:
Νέο στέλεχος ενεργοποιηθεί. Απροσδόκητα αποτελέσματα. Πολύ συνέχεια …
Χωρίς άδεια πρόσβασης Ενεργοποίηση αυτοκαταστροφής σκουλήκι.
My computer grumbled, flashed then went dead. Whatever was sent back through my system burnt out the processor and power supply completely destroying my computer and everything on it. The translation of the message that flashed on my computer screen before it died is:
New strain activated. Unexpected results. Much more pow …
Unauthorized Access Enable feedback worm.
That’s all I needed to know. I hit the road and have spent the last month on the run. I’ve had to change identities in order to avoid capture. An unknown entity @Cher_Dawn_ appeared on twitter in my place. She’s not to be trusted and, for all I know, is a member of UGA trying to infiltrate the ZSC presenting herself as me. She’s not. You may be tempted to delete her but perhaps it is wiser if we keep our collective eyes on her activities. And please check to make sure you are following me: @Wulfie_
It was foolish of me, I know but, once I found out that this @Cher_Dawn_ was masquerading as me, I began watching my home. No-one was there but the place had been ransacked and bugged. I grabbed a few things I’d left behind and, on my way out the door found something disturbing. It must have fallen out of someone’s pocket…or been ripped off during a struggle. One thing is clear: UGA is on to me.
Hey Command, if you manage to intercept this message: We are being targeted. The UGA may have originally come only after central command figures, but your Special Agents are now being hunted as well. It is only a matter of time, really, until the UGA takes aim at all the ZSC cadres. But then it’s possible that one of YOU is a double agent, isn’t it? I should’ve expected some sort of treachery.
Grae, if you happen to get this, good work on that last report . Watch your back, pal and trust no-one.
Jinxie_G, if you’re out there. Keep moving. It’s the only way you’ll be safe. Check all your gear for bugs and tracking devices. They’ve found me twice because of a GPS hidden in my cell phone. Be safe, chica.
Anyways, what I found on the floor is a piece of cloth with a design on it. I’ve seen it before but can’t remember where. There’s a little blood on it.
I have to go now. I don’t dare stay in one place long. I’m tired and so hungry that squirrels are starting to look tasty. Will report back when I can.
I knew the day would come. Doing what I do, there are certain risks to be expected. That’s why it didn’t strike me as too big a surprise when the letter slid through my mail slot a few days ago. The envelope had my name printed on it and a postal mark from Omaha. No other way to trace where it came from or who sent it. For the only time in my life, I feared a plain brown envelope.
Ridiculous, huh?
Not if you’re me and especially not if you’re a commander with the Zombie Survival Crew. The last four months turned our lives upside down, sideways, and threw in a few loop-dee-loops for fun. What we thought would be a great way to express our creativity and do some good for humanity became so much more than that. Of course, that’s what happens when you’re approached by a government agency that refuses to give you a name. They tend to make things really difficult. (Ever seen season four of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? We’re talking Initiative-style mayhem here.)
So there I was, sitting cross-legged on the couch in my living room and staring across the burgundy cushions at an envelope that probably held horribly bad news. Or maybe even a psychotropic drug so that Mr. C, and Mr. E. could kidnap me too. They fooled us once with Juliette. Simply asking for a meeting wasn’t going to work with any of us. But drugs, no amount of street smarts or weapons could save us from that.
Okay, even I have to admit that sounds a little paranoid. But you guys haven’t seen first-hand what the UGA is capable of.
I strapped on a facemask, snapped on a pair of latex gloves, and carefully cut open the mystery letter. No white power wafted into the air. No hidden wires were exposed. All that sat in the envelope were two pieces of paper—
From the Joint Terrorism Task Force.
Well… that’s new.
What I understand from all the legal mumbo-jumbo is that they are concerned about my activities on the Internet. Apparently my research materials for the ZSC have been tagged as potentially dangerous to the welfare of US citizens. For a few minutes after I finished reading, I just sat there starting at the first sheet of paper. They had to be kidding, right?
Then I looked at the second paper. Every single website I’d visited since joining the ZSC had been highlighted. It read like a serial killer’s handbook. Weapons galore. Information on how certain poisons and drugs work. Magical resources. Explosive manuals… No wonder they’d tagged me! A sane person couldn’t possibly be looking at all of that and not be planning to do some damage. The JTTF’s vigilance is reassuring, though I’m not sure how to continue my zombie-slaying research without raising their suspicions again. One thing is for sure…I’m turning this over to the Oracle so she can put it under the microscope – we need to find out as much as we can about this new group on our tail.
But on the bright side, it wasn’t the UGA trying to determine my location and abduct me.
Score one for R.C.!
color commentary: R. C. Murphy
You know… for months now Juliette has insisted that the Command Center is infested by zombie termites. At first we all laughed at her very obvious ploy to pass blame on a fictional creature. But after reading what Anthony sent our way… she might have a point. Only this commander thinks the termites are actually ants.
Earlier this week we received a coded message from an unknown email address. It took the better part of two days to crack, but within the email was a link to a news story most of us thought was a hoax.
Along with the message we received assurance from Anthony that the article’s content is legitimate. His current condition is unknown. We are attempting to establish contact again, but so far no luck.
When you stop to think about it— we’re all doomed.
What? We are. Look at the facts. This fungus very effectively shuts down a host’s system while still remaining in control of all the motor skills. Not only that, it uses the host to replicate itself. Should the fungus morph and take over larger beasts, we’re doomed!
I don’t know about you all, but I’m double checking my go bag and stashing it right next to the door. With this fungus in scientist’s hands the waiting game has begun. How long until they find a way to make a biological weapon based on these zombie ants? I hope we never find out the answer.
Now, does anyone have an extra bowie knife? I dented mine during training the other day.
~R
dispatchers: R.C. Murphy
with an assist from Juliette Terzieff
Our previous Twitter campaign was a massive success. Well grab your go bags, ZSC faithful. We’re at it again! It’s time we told the world that we want to see #moMerle on The Walking Dead next season.
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As a nice little twist, we will run our campaign on April 6, 2011. That just so happens to be Michael Rooker’s birthday! Mr. Rooker gave a heck of a performance as Merle Dixon and it’d be a shame not to see it again.
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Your targets: @GunnerGale, @RobertKirkman, @valhallapics, and @WalkingDead_AMC
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The campaign will begin at 12:00 AM on Wednesday, April 6th. Tweet your #moMerle messages to the targets throughout the day. And while you are at it, send birthday wishes along to @Michael_Rooker. Let him feel a little ZSC love.
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The retreat will sound at 11:59 PM April 6th. You have one day to make an impact. We know you are up for the challenge.
– R.C. taps her sword against her boot – Need I mention that we’ve got to keep this civil? No? Good. Knew I could trust y’all.
Sample tweets:
Hey, @GunnerGale. The #zombiesurvivalcrew wants to see #moMerle on #TheWalkingDead. Do it for Rooker’s birthday, please!
Psst, @WalkingDead_AMC… you know what’d make a great b-day gift for @Michael_Rooker? #moMerle in season 2. #zombiesurvivalcrew approves!
@valhallapipcs, please make the #zombiesurvivalcrew’s day & promise us #moMerle on #TheWalkingDead to celebrate @Michael_Rooker’s b-day.
You’re old pros at this, so let’s get out there on the 6th and let the world know we want #moMerle!
~R
