Once again, the crew is on their last legs—two gallons of gas in the car, six bullets between them, no food, no water, and even less patience with each other. Doc and Murphy venture out to find edible tree bark; a fruitless mission. On the way back, Murphy is distracted by a yumtastic looking brain dangling from a cord. Yeah, like that doesn’t just scream trap. His gut leading the way, Murphy goes down the hole. He’s not alone. Another zombie in the pit offers a taste from his lunch. Murphy takes a polite taste. Hey, it’s not horrible. They don’t languish in dusty luxury long, someone covered head-to-toe in armor comes in, leashes Murphy, and kills his companion.
Meet The Collector. He has a real name, but it’s not as fun. The Collector is an odd nut. He admits he’s not a doctor, yet likes to play one on the weekends. Seeing as no one works anymore in the apocalypse, technically every day is the weekend. To save his skin, Murphy attempts to talk and reason with TC. It has the exact opposite outcome than what Murphy desired. TC heard Citizen Z’s broadcast. Now he’s overjoyed to have a chance to poke and prod The Murphy. Someone has to properly document Murphy’s case, of course. TC doesn’t trust the CDC. Matter of fact, he gets downright violent talking about how they refused to read his letters.
This guy doesn’t have a lot of friends. Obviously, since anyone who walks in is fitted with a shock collar. As a consolation prize, they can take a hot shower. It’s almost worth a billion jolts running through your body. TC was kicked out of comic-cons for carrying weapons. The CDC has him perma-blocked on every communication platform known to man. There’s no one living aside from TC in his self-made zombie museum.
His collection is impressive; film posters from nearly every zombie film to date, real live zombies, and his crowning glory, undead George R. R. Martin—portrayed by the A Song of Ice and Fire author himself.
George is about to be overshadowed now that TC has his hands on The Murphy.
First, there must be a proper analysis of Murphy’s condition. TC sets up what looks like a talk show and records the process of taking blood, DNA, and marrow samples from his newest exhibit. The plan is clear, if the CDC wants any information on Murphy, they’ll finally have to acknowledge their least favorite whackjob. There’s a few more tests for Murphy. TC force-feeds him a piece of brain. It triggers an insatiable appetite and Murphy eats the whole thing. The final test, after Murphy refused to admit he can control the zombies, comes when TC leaves. A zombie doctor shuffles in. Immediately, Murphy takes control. He’s caught when the zombie can’t quite get it together enough to cut his restraints with the bone saw.
The museum tour is Murphy’s prize for cooperating on stage. He makes another escape attempt, but doesn’t make it out the front door—it’s electrified. There’s a near-miss with 10k investigating the museum’s front doors. TC tells 10k he hasn’t seen the kid’s friend. 10k smells something fishy and breaks in, leaving his gear where the others will find it. The rescue mission lasts about a minute. The Collector zaps 10k with a cattle prod and fits him with a shock collar. There’s actually one more experiment TC wants to run with Murphy—biting a live person. 10k is said live person. Despite heavy blood loss from TC’s attempt to drain him dry, Murphy plays along. What alternative does he have? Well, there’s always the option to disable the invisible fences around the other zombies on display, then control them. That’s be my choice, at least. TC is zombie chow. Murphy is ruthless. For about ten seconds. He passes out, losing control of the toxic zombie, phyto-zombie, and blaster.
Roberta and crew to the rescue—for real this time. They use their meager ammunition supply to kill the zombies. After a quick pillage through the museum for supplies, and Murphy’s blood, they head back to the car.
In another shocking emotional moment from Murphy, he makes Roberta promise not to leave him alone when they finally reach the lab in California. All these attempts to abduct him changed Murphy. Or is fatherhood to thank? Whichever, the others have to be grateful for a calmer Murphy during the next portion of their trip.
Yup. You guessed it; this review contains show spoilers.
Nearly every death in this episode is simply to whittle down the Alexandria citizens openly opposing Rick, just like Carter. It doesn’t make for compelling television when viewers know Joe Blow #5 will bite the big one after he mouths off against the Ricktatorship. Don’t believe me? The only person in this episode who openly questions Rick and survives is Heath. Will every Rick-centric episode become an execution to secure his place in the town? Sure, he’s not pulling the trigger himself, but why should he have to raise a finger when the writers are making the deaths so convenient?
Nearly every death in the episode was ridiculous and the result of writers confusing frightened characters with lazy writing. I imagine the writer’s room sounded like this the afternoon they read through this scene:
“We have this dude in Rick’s face, what do we do?”
“Kill him, duh.”
“But they’re in a clearing in the woods with seven able-bodied fighters.”
“Sneak attack.”
“There’s four-inch wide trees for cover.”
“We’ll use a quick cut in post to catch them by surprise.”
And it happens twice. Are we expected to believe Glenn and Michonne are so comfortable now with their lush digs in Alexandria that they’ve forgotten everything they learned in five previous seasons? It’s rubbish. Then they try to show what happens when the Alexandria natives are set upon by a small herd. Common sense and logic fly out the window. I kinda understand the one guy freaking and pulling his gun. I’ll buy the friendly fire injury. What I cannot comprehend is that this happened after the first surprise attack. If this guy were going to fail his gut-check, he should’ve bolted when the walkers killed Rick’s bad-mouthing opponent. It almost feels like this scene was written in another order and cut together haphazardly out of order in post-production. Matter of fact, most of this season comes across the same way.
Onto plot things. This episode, as with the last, is set in the same timeframe with the episode ending about the time Carol and Morgan secure Alexandria. Rick and company are still in the woods, rushing to get ahead of the herd heading toward Alexandria. Rick, realizing they need to divide and conquer—or he’s tired of being snapped at by soon-to-be walker meals—tells Glenn and Michonne to push the others forward. He’s going to double back for the RV. The plan is to join Daryl, Abe, and Sasha in the RV then help them lure the larger horde twenty miles from their home. There are a few walker encounters in the forest. One man dies, Barnes—the man who confronts Rick early in the episode. Scott is shot in the leg by friendly fire from Sturgess. David is bitten on the shoulder. The only other woman in the small crew, Annie, twists her ankle sprinting uphill. Glenn and Heath end up becoming crutches for Scott and Annie, making their reaction times slow, along with their progress across the five mile stretch from the road to Alexandra.
At the halfway mark, they reach the nearby town. The half-hour lead they have on the herd diminishes, and they’re trapped in town.
Glenn and Nicholas leave the others, searching for the feed store to set it ablaze and hopefully stop the herd from shambling to their home. The others remain in the tiny pet store to hide and tend to the wounded. David knows he won’t make it and asks Michonne to pass on a message to his wife. Like a fool, she promises him he’ll at least make it home to tell her himself. Scott and Annie, realizing their limits, ask to be left behind. Their surrender to the inevitable makes Heath confront Michonne about Rick’s earlier warning: Not all of them will make it home during this mission. He feels Rick’s assessment of their skills is harsh and uncalled for. It takes approximately thirty seconds for Michonne to put him in his place; until he’s reached the moment when he’s covered in so much blood, he can’t tell what’s his, what’s walker blood, and what blood belongs to his friends, he has no clue how to survive in the outside world.
There’s a catch in the plan; the feed store has already been burnt to the ground. Nicholas, addled because of his PTSD, struggles to find an alternative building to torch. He leads Glenn away from the encroaching herd . . . right into a fenced off alley. In moments they’re surrounded by at least a hundred walkers. The men run out of ammunition. They can only stab so many before the walkers push them back against a dumpster.
Up they go like a 1950’s housewife who spots a rat in the kitchen. The struggle is too much for Nicholas. He turns to Glenn and says, “Thank you,” before shooting himself in the head. The last we see of Glenn and Nicholas, they’re both on the ground under the hungry horde.
Michonne, Heath, and the injured trio fight their way through the town. Annie, unable to keep up with her makeshift crutch, falls and is eaten. The remaining crew end up in yet another fenced-off alley. Cue eye roll. Couldn’t they think of two different ways to torment the characters? Luckily for the gang, there’s no walkers on the other side of this gate. Up and over they go. Well, not all of them. The herd finds them, claiming David’s life. Not one of them stops to put the man out of his misery. Michonne, Heath, and Scott make it back to Alexandria.
While they’re in the midst of the herd, Rick runs a half-marathon, kills a walker, hurts his hand, and retrieves the RV, which was back at the curve in their zombie parade route. He arrives at the spot where he thinks he can cut off a portion of the wayward horde. His arrival coincides with the Wolves escaping Alexandria. There’s no contest. Rick kills them all. And in the process shoots up the RV so bad, the thing won’t start. Whoops. Did I mention the walkers are about twenty feet away, too? Bravo, Rick.
Daryl’s bit in this episode is simply to give fans Reedus face time. He hems and haws about going back to help Rick, leaves the parade route, then turns around and goes right back to driving with Abe and Sasha. There’s literally no point to his scenes other than to show that Abe and Sasha will see their mission through to the end. Which we knew. Once Sasha cleaned her nose, she’s a reliable team member again.
The big OMG moment is Glenn’s fate. You guys know how I feel anytime they try to kill him. I have been and will always be Team Glenn. Though I have a feeling he will indeed be the next big loss for the crew. It’s been coming for a while. Out of all of them, he has the best prospects for making an actual life in Alexandria. Following show logic, he has to die. There’s no happiness in TWD. It makes the show utterly predictable when it comes time to off another character fans actually like.
The show is a crime drama/comedy. The main character provides no useful information for the case in this episode which wouldn’t have been found by a human crime scene tech. Meanwhile, Peyton is back in town for two days and manages to exhaust her list of people willing to testify against the city’s top Utopium dealer, Mr. Boss, while in the process scoring her most valuable asset in the case—Blaine DeBeers. In the time it takes Liv to write a song, Peyton has enough information to first hurt Boss’ business, then bring his empire down like a house of cards. Not only that, she centers Liv, encourages Ravi to continue dating Stephanie without an ounce of jealousy, and is the only one to realize whatever is wrong with Major is serious. Oh and she’s on the nose when it comes to her gut feelings about Gilda/Rita, the Max Rager spy. Now if only Peyton could fix Liv’s lack of . . . everything. The writers still handle her as an android; they pop in a brain (program) and off she goes. It doesn’t make for a compelling leading lady. While Liv does retain more of herself in this episode, it’s only to progress the story line with Major. The message is clear, Liv is only vital when it comes to her relationship with a man.
Onto the case. Liv and Ravi are called to pick up Lacy Cantrell, a thirty-two year old waitress and singer/songwriter strangled to death in her bedroom. Following police logic, they track down the woman’s ex-boyfriend, Matt—a.k.a. Sue—who was released from prison a month prior to the murder. With his violent past, it’s clearly the boyfriend. Case closed. Everyone go home. Wrong. Again. Can we get a case on this show which doesn’t waste twenty minutes looking at the significant other or recent ex as the sole suspect, please? It’s so predictable, I figured out the plot twist not long after they took the body to the morgue. Matt didn’t kill Lacy. Matter of fact, once he’s done being angry about the police coming after him as a suspect, the guy has nothing but love for the deceased.
He follows Liv after she uses Lacy’s brain to perform a song based on the case and lets fly about how much he cared for Lacy. It triggers something in Liv, which we’ll discuss later. But if Matt’s not to blame, who murdered Lacy? A complete stranger. There’s another murder case taking top priority because it’s located in the richer area in the city. The show opens with three kids finding the gun from that murder. Why would writers do that if they didn’t intend to tie to two seemingly separate cases together? They showed their hand early in the game. There’s no fun on a crime show if the case is laid out and solved by viewers two minutes into the episode. So the convenience store murderer is Lacy’s killer, as well. And at no point did Liv offer up a helpful vision or clue. Clive handled this one by himself. Astounding since he’s a little distracted by FBI agent Dale Bozzio. She is in town to investigate several high-profile disappearances. Namely, the people Blaine killed to sell super fancy brains to his clients. But some of his clients are missing, as well. If Bozzio falls down the zombie rabbit hole, will Clive finally learn Liv’s brain-munching little secret?
Majorly disappointed with one character in particular. See what I did there? Major’s Utopium habit is getting worse. He’s completely disconnected from the world. He can’t even keep track of the dog he stole from the zombie he killed in the previous episode. Miner, as Ravi calls him, runs away one afternoon and finds the park where Major kidnapped his owner. Cue weeping. For the dog, not Major. All sympathies for the man flew out the window when he completely disregards Liv feelings. She opens up, telling him how hard it was last year hiding the truth from him, watching him go insane. His response is a verbal shrug and a door in her face. Nothing sinks into his drug-addled brain until he wanders off to score more U. The kid he finds to buy from lived in the shelter Major worked for last year. When the dealer points out how Major once pushed the shelter kids to get clean, and now he’s a junkie, it breaks the glass shell he’s existed in since Liv gave him the cure. The episode ends with Major on Liv’s doorstep, asking for help. Oh and kissing.
It’s probably a good time to get clean, anyway. Blaine is one step closer to recreating the tainted Utopium. Scott E tracks down Gabriel, the guy who cut the original U batch. Slight problem with this grand plan, though; Gabriel has turned a new leaf and jumped on the Jesus Train. Since he won’t cooperate, Blaine kidnaps the guys, has a minion turn him into a zombie, and turns the starving baby brain muncher out on the streets. How long will Gabriel’s morals keep him from bashing in a skull for the prize inside? Probably not very long. Either he kills or slinks back to Blaine for morally ambiguous brains to eat. Soon Blaine will have the means to mass produce zombies. That’ll be fun.
First problem, how will they get down the river? The gang finds a zombie-infested pontoon boat out on the water. After clearing it, they find the boat’s rather talkative driver. Cool. A ride and someone else to do the driving. Maybe everyone can relax. Yeah, right. They’re not on the water long before Doc spots someone in a pedal boat crammed with gear in the back. Sketch and Skeezy are the bad pennies in this show. Anytime mischief must happen, they’re involved. Already things are looking up. And then everything looks wet. The river is plagued with what the guys call zombie jams—similar to log jams, only with teeth and much fouler stench. Zombies scramble onto the boat. Roberta orders everyone into the drink—not exactly wise considering all the zombies, but sure. We’ll go with it.
In the rush to safety, the team splits. 10k ends up on the eastern shore with Sketchy and Skeezy. Roberta, Doc, Addy, Murphy, and Vasquez head west. Almost immediately, Murphy wants to leave the kid behind. Vasquez is on his side, but only because a search would cost time. There’s no love lost between Murphy and 10k. After Cassandra’s death, those two will never be on the same side again. Murphy’s ego simply won’t allow it. He saw Cassandra as his creation, then comes this little nothing human who takes her from him; it’s too much for Murphy to handle when he’s already lost control of everything else in his life. To keep the peace, and keep Doc with the crew, Roberta gives twenty-four hours to find 10k. Eventually Doc does split from the group, taking a canoe across the river the next morning. His search is fruitless.
All’s not lost. 10k is in good hands with the luckiest men alive. Boy do they take the kid on an adventure. First, there’s a group of kind, highly intelligent men who—okay, I can’t do it. The first group they meet is dumber than a boulder and just as ugly. Quick thinking Sketchy reels them in with another tale of The Murphy, portrayed by Skeezy, seeing as he kinda resembles the wanted poster. By the end of two minutes, they have these guys convinced a bite from Skeezy will make them immortal. So he bites them, Sketchy steals the guys’ drugs, and 10k watches in wonderment. Until he drops the drugs Sketchy passes off and they have to run. Luckily—ha ha—there’s a truck nearby. But, wait . . . isn’t that the truck we saw kidnap two guys at the beginning of the episode?
Yes it is, and the guys just so happen to drive the thing back to the town it came from—Burrtown, named after it’s founder. It doesn’t take long for Sketchy and Skeezy to work their magic on this last great confederate holdout. Before sunset, they have them eating from their hands. Fecal matter hits the fan when the truck’s actual owners finally catch up. Not to worry, 10k found an inside man to help. Okay, it’s a woman. A very angry woman named Sadie. She’s not part of Burr’s hillbilly paradise. She just wants to give Mercy to her second husband, who is enslaved by the town as part of their undead workforce. Her plan: Watch the town burn. It’s a good plan. I have no problem with it.
The Zeros might have differing opinions, seeing at Burrtown is one of their territories. When Sketchy and Skeezy and caught in their tangled lie net, Escorpion is brought in to judge their case. Sketchy does his best to blow enough hot air to inflate the Hindenburg. It’s not enough. Not when Skeezy’s bite victims provide damning testimony against them. Escorpion sentences the troublemakers and 10k to death by hanging.
Never fear, there’s a plan. I think. Sadie makes a run for the bridge near Burrtown where the crew plans to turn west again. How 10k knew they’d be there, I haven’t the foggiest idea, but not a lot makes sense on this show if you pay attention. Regardless of how they were alerted to the impending execution, the gang gears up and attempts a daring escape. Doc and Addy shoot down 10k and Sketchy the second Escorpion orders the execution to proceed. Skeezy dangles for a while before all’s clear and Addy shoots him down. While the others are doing the rescuing, Murphy and Sadie free the zombies. From there on out, it’s child’s play. The crew, plus their hilarious sidekicks, take off to the bridge ahead of a speedy zombie horde. Sadie lingers in Burrtown to give Mercy to her husband.
At the bridge, Sketchy and Skeezy stay behind to play with the zombies and their new weapons cache courtesy of Sadie. The others pile into a conveniently placed car, driving west once again.
Will they ever reach California at this rate? They’re down to one person with the cure in their blood since Lucy is with her adoptive parents. If anything happens to Murphy, they’re doomed. Yet he still thinks he’d make it anywhere without the crew. It’s The Murphy Show in his mind. Even if they do make good time on the road, someone may get annoyed enough to put a knife in his dome. Mankind has been through worse, right? What’s one measly apocalypse? They don’t need a savior whose ego can’t fit in Central Park.
Whoa! You sure you want to proceed? There’s spoilers in this review.
The manipulation games seen early in this episode started long before we all sat on our couches to watch. Back at San Diego Comic-Con, they swore up, down, sideways, bothways, whateverways, that the Wolves would not be a large part in the early episodes. Second episode—BOOM. Wolves at the gates. Yay. You finally got one over on us, guys.
Within the episode, the games serve a far different purpose. Carol continues to wheedle her way into Alexandria’s bosom with her perfect housewife routine. A routine which slips a little when Shelly talks smack about a dish Carol hasn’t even cooked yet, then proceeds to whine about dried pasta and how she could feed them all like kings if she had a pasta maker. In typical Carol fashion, she digs the emotional knife in under Shelly’s ribs, offering to teach her how to make pasta without a machine, but the cigarettes? They have to stay outside. Such a disgusting habit. Plus, they have enough things trying to kill them. Carol’s mood follows her home, where Jessie’s youngest, Sam, waits for her. She tells him point-blank, your dad beat your mom, he died, get over it. Seeing as it’s a great parenting technique, Jessie employs a similar technique with her eldest, Ron. She calls him down on the premise of cutting his hair. He sees through her ploy. But then the conversation stops making sense; until Ron says Rick is just as dangerous as Pete. There are ways to write scenes where characters are hiding secrets. This is not one of those ways. It’s clunky and far more awkward than it should be, almost like the actors had no clue what they were saying when it came to the context of the fight and Ron’s secrets.
Maggie does a little emotional manipulation of her own while Glenn is off dealing with the horde. Much like her father, Maggie believes every successful safe haven must be self-sustaining; that includes producing their own food. Raising cattle is a long way off, but Maggie scored crates of seeds recently and knows what to do. She takes Deanna outside the fence to a spot she’s picked for the garden. The catch? Deanna has to approve and put into motion the town’s expansion project, plus it will take a lot of backbreaking work to prepare the ground for planting. It seems like hard physical work may be what shakes Deanna from her mental fog.
The Wolves attack without any warning whatsoever. One moment Carol smugly watches Shelly puff away on a cigarette, the next Shelly has a machete in her head. Within moments, Alexandria is in chaos. How? Why? Rick left people on watch. Why was the gate unguarded? There are at least ten able-bodied fighters in town when the attack happens. Not one of them is armed nor at a guard position. The one guy with a rifle, Spencer, nearly wets himself when he misses his first shot. He’s taken out of the game completely when the Wolves drive a truck into the church, knocking him from the belfry. This is the truck Rick and company hear out on the road.
Carl holds his own pretty well, protecting his sister and their house by himself until Enid stops by on her way out of Alexandria. He convinces her to stay, but it won’t last; she’s a nomad. We see Enid’s introduction to Alexandria before the opening sequence. Why? Probably just to show a teenage girl eating a raw tortoise and create some oddness with the initials “JSS.” The scene has no real purpose other than to establish a mental mindset for a character handled as a throw-away since her introduction. This happens too often. Writers realize they have no substance for a character they need to do something vital, so they cram in a half-assed backstory to fill the gaps. Do your character building before they’re on the final script copy, guys.
It’s almost hilarious how inept these characters are. Carol is literally the only one to realize the Wolves don’t have guns, but if they get to the town’s armory, it’s game over for every single person in the fence. She alone prevents the first pack from breaking into the armory, then leaves poor, frightened Olivia to guard their only saving grace. There’s no help coming. Everyone else is armpit deep in walkers out on the road. But so long as they have the guns, they have the upper hand. Morgan’s world view is too narrow. Yes, he knows Carol doesn’t really enjoy the killing, but he has to see the necessity in the moment, appreciate the sacrifice she’s making for everyone. He’s so busy nagging her about the deaths, he still doesn’t understand what she’s telling him about the armory or the mentality of these people.
I think I know why . . . . Morgan has dealt with these people before. Nearly every one of the Wolves he encounters who manages to speak recognizes him, either directly or through stories they’ve heard. When they fight, he’s quick to knock them out cold. No brawling. Very few swings. One, two—pup on the ground. He even talks a small pack into retreating with little physical convincing. I’m not going to jump on the “Morgan is awful” bandwagon. He’s always been neutral. It’s possible he has a deeper connection to the Wolves, but I’d say it’s an old acquaintance telling undead war stories to his cronies with the occasional physical encounter to reestablish territories since they’ve all been in the same general area for a while, apparently.
In the end, the attack lasted about thirty minutes, maybe less. There’s no clear picture of how many or who died. Bodies remain on the street. Fires smolder along the fences. Carol and Morgan are on the prowl, clearing straggling Wolves or stray walkers.
Is Alexandria safe? Aaron finds scouting photos on one man’s corpse. The attack was planned. By who? Did they die in the fight or flee with the others? Or were they present at all for the Wolves’ shindig? I can’t imagine planning something with that much care and not watching. Unfortunately, the mastermind may remain a mystery for a while, giving them enough time to attack again.
This episode is all about beauty over brains. No, beauty isn’t a new hot sauce brand. Liv sinks her teeth into a socialite who is thrown over her balcony by a man posing as a realtor, real name Joe Fricano. As a result, 90% of her dialog is about clothes. I’m trying really hard to keep an open mind about this show—it helps that there’s a bit of rot on my left temple letting in a nice breeze—but every time they dig into this stereotypical female personalities, I want to put my hand through the screen. We get it, it’s fun to make bright, motivated Liv into a mindless clotheshound.
Wait. That’s not fun. I’d much rather watch Liv use her intelligence and not her powers to solve a case. Two seasons of accidental visions is enough. This problem wasn’t as prevalent in season one, but now it’s pretty much all we’re seeing—Liv being weird, not helpful, and they manage to close cases by pure chance. At least she looks nice while doing it?
Let’s dig into the case. Taylor Fowler, our brain donor for the episode, is married to businessman Terrance Fowler. Clive is convinced the husband is involved. Dead end there when the guy hems and haws about a time to sit down for an interview. Instead, they visit with the actual relator whose identity the killer used to gain access to the house. She tells them Vaughn Du Clarke is selling his house and she’d kicked the killer out of Du Clarke’s place during an open house after she caught him snooping. Off to Max Rager they go. Liv has a rather unpleasant vision during the meeting—Du Clarke and Taylor in bed together. Full. Body. Shudder. But there’s still no motive for anyone to off Taylor. Finally Terrance is ready to talk to them. The meeting goes smoothly, until they drop the bomb about the affair. Terrance puts his hand through a glass coffee table. I think he’s a little angry. Eventually they track down two of Taylor’s so-called friends. If friends are the people with a knife to your back at any given moment. The demons in Prada did provide a couple helpful tidbits: Terrance knew about Taylor’s affair with Du Clarke and he isn’t Mr. Perfect himself, using a social media site to hook up with younger women. Now we’re back to Terrance Did It. Yawn. Naptime.
Oh, that was only half of the episode?
To establish Fowler’s alibi, they stop to visit his personal stylist, Bethany. Newly fashion-savvy Liv falls in lust with the woman’s style. They quickly become best friends, bonding over shoes. It turns into a shopping date the following day. Liv ditches Clive, who wants to do actual police work to interview Fricano’s manager at the auto shop. They’d assumed Fricano worked for Terrance at his home, giving him access to Taylor in order to figure out her schedule and kill her. Nope. Manager says Fowler isn’t the guy who hired him. However, Joe had been seen with a hot, yet slutty woman who he was obsessing over for a while. Just so happens, Clive has the book of skanks from the website where Terrance picks his mistresses.
One guess who the manager points out? Yup, Liv’s new BFF, Bethany. When Clive calls to tell Liv while she’s out shopping, Bethany overhears. There’s a rumble amongst the couture dresses. Bethany maces Liv, which does nothing except make her go Full-Blown Zombie. Case solved.
But what about the case of Liv’s weird desire to have the guys go to dinner with her? Turns out, it’s her birthday. She doesn’t want to make a big thing, have a bash, just a quiet dinner with the handful of friends she has left. Ravi ditches her to go visit a girl he met during his Utopium high—they’re actually hitting it off. Clive just says no. Major? Well, seeing as Liv finds out he’s working for Max Rager in this episode, he’s not high on her e-vite list. Oh and he’s shagging her roommate/Max Rager spy, Gilda. The only person who does anything for Liv which isn’t purely selfish is Peyton. You know, the ex-roommate who watched Liv murder a zombie in their kitchen? She’s back in town, working on a taskforce to hunt down Utopium dealers and manufacturers. Even with her plate full, Peyton still managed to bring Liv a personalized cake.
The rest of her friends are jerks. Or is Liv the jerk? She lied to all of them about her condition. Each brain she eats makes her an entirely different person. It’s difficult to hang onto friends when your diet essentially turns you into the worst flavor of bipolar person alive—or undead. Yet she chooses to continue putting strain on her relationships to supposedly help with police work. When in reality she takes a fun ride on the brain acid-like trip, dropping one, maybe two useful visions, and acting like she’s Batman saving the city. Liv isn’t perfect, the show would be boring if she were. However, the way she’s written gets progressively less appealing with each episode. Somewhere along the way, the writers lost track of who, exactly, they’re creating. Liv isn’t a blank canvas. She was an entire person, which they established in episode 101, before Blaine turned her. Let’s get back to that Liv.
The gang is stuck in a horde when the episode opens. Lucy is used as a football, passed from person to person to draw zombie attention so others can kill them. Unfortunately, when Doc takes her and runs for cover, he stumbles into a bus of Abe Lincolns. No, seriously. None of us hallucinated that part. The last kill in the opening scene, a headshot from 10k on a zombie dressed as Lincoln on a penny, is perhaps my favorite sight gag on the show in two seasons.
The zombies aren’t their only problem. They still haven’t secured food resources for Lucy and their own supplies are extremely limited. Again. Roberta is afraid what’ll happen if they fail to keep Lucy alive. On the other hand, what will happen when the little hybrid grows? Will she take after her father? Is the zombie cure in her veins? There’s more questions than answers about Lucy in this episode, to be honest. The tension in their makeshift camp gets so tense at one point, Murphy takes Lucy for a walk. Lest the others get ideas, he orders Cassandra to keep them from following him.
Roberta has bigger fish to fry. She leaves Addy, 10k, and Doc to deal with Cassandra and Murphy. Why when the fate of the world rests on Lucy’s wee bald head? Turns out Vasquez may not be what he seems. 10k spots Vasquez sneaking off through the forest, heading back toward town and reports it when he returns to camp with what is likely their only meal that day—fish. While the others debate Lucy, fish, and whether or not Cassandra is herself anymore, Roberta and Vasquez sneak into town. Once there, Vasquez meets three Zero cartel members outside the hospital. They proceed to kick his backside. With no other option—yeah right, I would have left the liar—she jumps into the fray. Vasquez is shot in the gut. Roberta’s bravery reward is a through-and-through shot in her left shoulder. Luckily there’s a hospital right there. Oh, it’s overrun with napping zombies? That’s cool.
The bleeding duo manage to lock themselves in the Optometry department. A wise move. Not every pillager through the hospital would think to look there for necessary supplies, though it is just as well stocked as the rest of the hospital. Vasquez sutures Roberta’s shoulder first. He gives her a hearty helping of grief about women really being tougher than men. The slap he gets is well-deserved. When the tables turn, Roberta takes the chance to interrogate her patient. Turns out, Vasquez is former DEA with a history with the Zero cartel. They tried to buy his loyalty once; he rejected them. Zeroes stepped up the game, kidnapping his wife and daughter. Either he cooperates or they die. Then a Zero higher-up steps in, saying he’ll save the women if Vasquez does him a favor. In the end, his family dies. His wife was the first zombie he saw turn. So sad. Much drama.
Vasquez nearly dies after Roberta patches the hole in his gut. He is the lucky one.
Back at camp, the gang make a few attempts to shake Cassandra off their tails. During the first attempt, Cassandra catches Addy and nearly breaks her arm, using Addy’s pain to draw 10k and Doc back to camp. Finally, 10k says he’ll deal with Cassandra personally. Addy and Doc kick up dust running away from the fight to come. Cassandra bounces 10k off the ground, some boulders, probably a tree, and a kitchen sink if she finds one. All that butt-kicking solidifies an idea in 10k’s head—Cassandra isn’t alive anymore; they’ve been travelling with a monster. The fight takes a turn. Cassandra pins 10k to the ground, ready to break his neck. Saving himself, he stabs her in the neck. Cassandra is buried without pomp and circumstance.
Murphy isn’t going to like that. He’s got other things on his mind, like a daughter who draws every undead creature within earshot. At the end of his walk, Murphy finds a house with a man and his wife. The man invites him inside. His wife gives Murphy a little rabbit’s milk for the baby. In a rare vulnerable moment, Murphy breaks down weeping and asks the couple to take Lucy to raise as their own. At first they’re elated. Then they get a look at the precious blue bundle. There’s a fix for their terror. Murphy bites them and, much like how he’s handled Cassandra since turning her at the lab, orders them to do his bidding.
Lucy is safe from Roberta’s scheming. Murphy is utterly alone again without his gal pal and daughter. 10k will be a mental wreck for a while; water can wash away the evidence, but it won’t erase the memory of Cassandra’s warm blood dribbling down his cheek. Two crew members are seriously injured. Addy has a sprained shoulder/arm after her fight with Cassandra. Essentially the only one fully functional is Doc. Even his mental stability is questionable.
It’s going to be an interesting second half to this season.
The dead guy this time around is frat bro numero uno, Chad Wolcoff. He was the guy everyone relies on when they just can’t make it through their fourth beer bong. He was also a prick notorious for getting his bros in trouble with his pranks—one guy landed on the sex offender’s list after Chad told him to streak and set his path to take him past an elementary school. Chad’s offed by someone in a giant furry blue bear suit. How hard can it be to track down a suit so distinctive? Impossible, judging from Clive’s numerous failed calls to local costume shops.
Liv on bro brain is a peach. She cakes gaudy, glittery makeup on Ravi’s face, topped off with “FART” written on his forehead. She also drinks like a fish, belches, and talks like a brain-dead idiot. She’s dead, but her brain is fully functional. Thankfully. Or not. Her visions aren’t much help. Except one. Her second vision introduces them to the other Chad Wolcoff. This Chad spends him time talking to teens about the dangers of drunk driving. Chad and Chad faced off a while back when BroChad got drunk and posed as SoberChad at a school, where he proceeded to tell teens it’s cool to drive drunk. After Clive finally finds the bear suit, he thinks they’ve hit a dead end. Sonny and his girlfriend were at home having Furry Relations (much to Liv’s amusement) the night of the murder.
Or was he?
Turns out, Sonny killed the wrong Chad. SoberChad wasn’t always straight-laced. Back when he was fifteen, he hit and killed Sonny’s father. Because he was a minor, the punishment wasn’t as severe as Sonny would’ve liked. Over the years Sonny looked for Chad. When he found BroChad online, he wanted to face him again. BroChad didn’t make a good first impression, obviously.
This episode was Blaine-heavy. He’s concocting a drug war between himself and Mr. Boss, the local Big Boss when it comes to the drug trade. A position Blaine wants desperately. He sets up several rich kids amongst high-end clubs to sell his Utopium. In return, Boss orders hits on every last one, including Speedy, Blaine’s face-man for his business. Undaunted, or already prepared for this rebuttal from his nemesis, Blaine pays a visit to the District Attorney, who just happens to be one of his best brain-buying customers. They reach an agreement to start a case on Boss, but it’s going to take some hefty bribes to undercut the firm footing Boss has in the city. That’s okay, Blaine just needs to pay a visit to his dear daddy, played by Robert Knepper. As expected, Angus DeBeers just like his son. Blaine uses every manipulative trick in his book to work his father, finally demanding half a million dollars or he’ll overthrow his father, take over the family business, and lock Angus in the looney bin . . . just like Angus did to his father. Now Blaine has the means to take over the Utopium drug trade in the city.
That’s good news for one character in particular. No, not Ravi; he’s still drawing blanks when it comes to finding the tainted Utopium. However, he thinks if he can understand the drug, he’ll have a better chance of figuring out a zombie cure without the specific strain from the boat party. This leads to Ravi begging Major to join him on a drug-seeking mission at a high-end club. Ravi floats on an euphoric cloud, attempting to monitor his reaction to the drug with the voice recorder app on his phone. Spoiler: the audio provides little to no help the next day. Bored watching his friend have all the fun, Major takes Ravi’s second vial of Utopium. Then he wants more. When we find Major again, he’s passed out in the bathroom. A stranger finds his phone and calls Liv. She dutifully drags the kite-high men home. But before the cab drives a foot, Major grabs her phone and throws it out the window, telling her, “They can hear you and they’re always listening.” Or something to that effect given all the slurring. Liv and Major have a bonding moment on his bathroom floor. He asks her to stay and take care of him. She’s elated, thinking they’re finally on speaking terms. The bubble bursts the next day. Major replaces her phone, but won’t see her. Guess who’s falling down the Utopium hole? Yup. Major’s an addict. It’s either that or stew in guilt over the man he killed and the many more he’ll murder to keep Max Rager’s goons from going after Liv.
How much longer can Major keep the wolves at bay, though? He almost spills the beans to Liv twice in this episode while under the influence. What’s stopping him from blabbing to Ravi? Even if he does, there’s not much they can do to take down Max Rager short of killing Vaughn Du Clark.
For the first time in nearly five years, I’m throwing the B.S. flag on TWD. This episode is beyond ridiculous. It jumps from Rick shooting Pete to the Alexandria survivors staring at a walker horde numbering in the thousands. Yeah, that’s cool and all, but what are they doing there? Why are they futzing with this many walkers? Who is this guy arguing with Rick so much about a “dry run?” Dry run of what? Turning Daryl into walker bait, apparently. Just about everything before the opening credits makes little to no sense. It doesn’t get any better.
The episode bounces constantly from the present to the past. It’s confusing. Frustrating. Made me homicidal about twenty minutes into the episode when I finally just wanted to watch the plot in chronological order instead of the convoluted and drawn out method utilized in the episode. There are several moments when it cuts from a flashback—presented in black and white to lessen viewer confusion—to Rick and crew walking through the forest for ten seconds, then back to the Same Exact Scene in the flashback it cut from. Are you confused yet? Just typing it hurts my head. What were the writers, director, and editor smoking when they cobbled this idea together? Did they shoot up Krokodil in order to feel like a walker before locking themselves in the editing room? It’s the only way to make sense from the mess they made of the plot.
Sad thing is, the plot itself is pretty straight-forward. Let me try to sort it out and spare you the brain cramp I’m dealing with.
Deanna, kneeling in Reg’s blood, bonds with Father Gabriel for a brief moment after she realizes he was right to warn her about Rick. Abe takes Reg’s body to the cemetery to await burial. Pete’s family mourns their loss. Tara is awake and well in the clinic. Glenn and Nick stumble in fresh from their near-fatal fight. Maggie and Eugene fuss over their respective people. Tara is just happy the mullet survived. Carl is seen once in the episode, sitting on a roof with his kinda-girlfriend. Rick tells Morgan that he doesn’t taken chances. Morgan is locked in the prison room until morning after Rick collects his thoughts. They discuss the Wolves and what happened at the trucks. Daryl and Rick don’t see eye-to-eye on Daryl’s recruitment missions. Heath and his supply-fetching crew return to Alexandria. Eugene, in typical Eugene fashion, awkwardly allows them to drive through the gate. Morgan gets the penny tour of Alexandria. Father Gabriel sets to digging graves for Reg and Pete. Rick and Deanna agree—Pete will not be buried in town. Rick and Morgan take the killer’s body away to bury in a location none of the townsfolk will ever see. Ron, Pete’s eldest son, follows the men to the burial site. He ends up drawing a few walkers to their location. Rick saves the boy from falling off a cliff. He gives him a stern talk about how Ron can’t defend himself; Rick will teach him, but not right that second.
All of that was simply lead-up to discovering the thousands of walkers trapped in a quarry not too far from the town. This is how the people survived without learning how to defend themselves; most of the walkers are crammed in the quarry. A few escape, but not enough to pose a real threat. However, the semi-trucks the quarry’s former tenants put in place to defend themselves—that plan obviously didn’t work—aren’t so stable anymore. Rick sees the problem and brings it back to Deanna and the town. Heath fills in the information gaps since he already knew about the horde but didn’t consider it an issue. They must act now before one of the trucks barring the walkers falls. Carter, the new guy seen arguing with Rick in the opening scene, continues to argue with Rick. Big surprise.
They concoct a plan to move the walkers west, away from Alexandria. More arguing from Carter. Then Deanna and Rick corner him—he’s built a wall once, why can’t he build another barricade to keep the walkers off the road leading to their front gate? Obviously Carter agrees. The nexk set of flashbacks take place as they’re building the barricade. Daryl puts his foot down; he will be going to find new townspeople after they move the walkers. Carol continues to play “scared little lady” to fit in, however Morgan sees through it. He notices the way Carol is always watching, assessing the situation and confuses her with a cop. Maggie tells Tara about Nick’s part in Noah’s death and the murder attempt on Glenn. She gives Tara the power to spread the stories, let the town decide if Nick should be banished. For now Tara will follow Maggie’s lead when it comes to Nick. Rick corners Deanna on the premise of giving condolences about Reg. She sees through it and tells him to speak his mind. He tells her he will be training everyone how to defend themselves and use guns. Right on cue, walkers discover the build site. Rick holds back his crew, telling Carter and his friends to take care of the walkers with their shovels. That lasts about five seconds until they realize there’s too many walkers. The A Team steps in and clears the undead in a blink.
Later that night Eugene overhears Carter telling other Alexandria survivors he will kill Rick and take back the town. Eugene freaks, drops a jam jar, and is nearly shot in the head by Carter. His bacon is saved when Rick walks in and disarms Carter. The man is given another chance to work with Rick and his crew. The act of mercy doesn’t fool Morgan. He saw the real Rick in the armory with a gun pressed against Carter’s head. Grudgingly Rick admits he wanted to kill Carter just so he doesn’t screw up and get anyone killed. But he doesn’t have to pull the trigger himself; he realizes men like Carter will always end up dead. It’s just the way things happen.
In the armory again. Rick finally talks to Jessie, Pete’s widow. She tells him off for the way he man-handled and berated Ron. Understanding the need to learn self-defense, Jessie has been taking shooting lessons from Rosita and will teach her boys herself. Without Rick. Guess there’s no booty calls in his future.
The next day, the day before they play out Rick’s scheme, the townsfolk who volunteered to help with the plan meet to map out the route Daryl, Abe, and Sasha will drive in order to lure the walkers westward. Abe stops Sasha and asks her if she’s on the mission to die. She says, “No.” The crew stop by a tractor supply store with a dozen or so walkers trapped inside banging on the glass. The noise will draw the horde away from the planned route. Rick says they’ll come back before dark to clear the walkers. Glenn stops Nick to tell him he will sit out the following day; Nick isn’t ready to take on walkers again.
They arrive at the quarry. Rick gives a rousing speech about getting the walkers before they attack the town. Then things go wrong. One truck blocking the eastern path falls from the narrow road, giving walkers a direct route to their backyard. Instead of simply planning their attack, they must now act on it. Carter, of course, argues that they aren’t prepared.
This is actually where the episode begins, if you’ve lost track.
From here on out, it’s all walker action. Daryl plays pied piper, leading the initial rush from the quarry. Abe and Sasha meet him at the hill’s base. Together they lead the horde from the quarry east. While they’re driving, Glenn, Nick, and Heath double back to the tractor store to deal with the noisy walkers. After a false start on the killing, they eventually just blow out a window and open fire. Nick saves Heath’s bacon. It redeems him in Glenn’s eyes a little. Michonne, Rick, and Morgan wait on the far side of the barricade with flare guns. When the horde reaches them, they shoot westward, drawing the walkers’ attention toward where they need to shamble. At one point, a few walkers wander off. Abe jumps from the lead car and lures them back onto the road. When Sasha asks him why he’s acting like a nutjob—talking about pieces of Pete’s brain still in his ear—Abe says he’s just living large, much like Sasha when she snapped and slaughtered numerous walkers for fun.
Everything is going smoothly. Until Carter is grabbed and bitten by a walker. He squeals like a stuck pig, drawing walkers off the road. Luckily, or unluckily, Rick is nearby. He kills Carter. Michonne and Morgan lament the death, but both understand that’s just how it is nowadays. The others alongside the road fire their guns to draw the walkers back. It works. Well, for a moment. Not long after a horn sounds, distracting the walkers again. The horn is coming from Alexandria and now a few thousand walkers are out to find it.
Instead of presenting this version of the story, the showrunners decided to start with the zombie horde and edit the episode to flow inside out, starting in the middle for the present action and the beginning for the flashbacks. If they’d edited it better, I wouldn’t be so livid. Instead of large story chunks to lay groundwork, they cut it into tidbits, dropping ten seconds of storyline here and there amongst personal dramas and too-long clips featuring walkers, well, walking down a road. The undead action stopped being cool the second they hit the road. Then it became a rainy-day parade with no bathroom in sight, but you’ve down an entire pot of coffee just to be awake enough to watch the soggy festivities. It’s not fun. It makes no sense why you would put yourself through such torture for maybe a few enjoyable seconds as your favorite float passes. But it’s not the same. It’s not as entertaining. You begin to wonder if the parade will even be worth attending the following year if there’s a chance of rain.
I’ll tell you right now, if the show pulls this flashback stunt again, I’m not only done with the parade, I’ll forget there’s even a holiday to hold a parade for, rain or not. This episode was a waste of time. Whoever edited it and the people who then looked at this cut and said it was good to go need to relearn a few story-telling basics. The episode is a joke. My ability to take anyone in TWD’s post-production staff seriously is fractured. Just like my sanity after piecing the plot together for you guys. Here’s hoping the next episode makes more sense.
Doc spots a gigantic cheese wheel and takes a bite. Then Roberta and Addy push the sucker downhill, letting gravity take care of the undead parade. Vasquez helpfully suggests they head to a Mennonite community not far away. He’d been by there six months prior and saw survivors. Considering Serena can’t waddle five feet without projectile puking, it’s a good thing the community isn’t across the state. There’s a long, drawn out sequence covering Serena’s attempt to win gold in the Vomiting Olympics. Give the woman a medal and let’s move on, already. My lunch is trying to crawl up my throat. Note to self: leave the finger sandwiches for after the show.
After the worst of Serena’s morning sickness is over, the group is fired at, destroying the SUV they stole from the Zeroes. Vasquez takes a long-range radio as a souvenir. Serena saves the day, opening fire with an automatic rifle and cursing so much a sailor would be jealous. Hate to admit it, but as gross and annoying as she can be, I’d want her at my side during the apocalypse. If, you know, I still played for Team Living Folk.
Faced with yet another car problem, they simply steal the truck from the woman Serena killed and roll down to the Mennonite community. Vasquez and 10k scout ahead. 10k takes out a few zombies covered in what’s later revealed to be anthrax. Not exactly the fun kind of white powder. Vasquez takes a minute to steal food and listen to the stolen radio. Roberta makes the call to take a chance and enter the community to ask for help. Good thing, too. Not long after they make contact with the Mennonite leader, Jacob, 10k succumbs to anthrax poisoning and Serena’s water breaks. The baby is on the way. No one is prepared, least of all Murphy.
10k is shuffled off to a bunkhouse with other anthrax patients. There’s not enough Cipro, an antibiotic made for animals but still okay for human use, to cure the sick Mennonites and 10k. All they can do with their current supply is stave off death for a little longer. Addy and Vasquez take Jacob to a small town nearby in hopes of finding more antibiotics in the pharmacy. One problem, though; they aren’t the first to reach the pharmacy. Inside they find a junkie who has literally taken everything behind the counter in an attempt to kill himself. Obviously it didn’t work. The junkie asks them to kill him. When Addy declines, he desperately attacks Vasquez, who shoots him in the head. Jacob judges their actions harshly after Addy explains it’s just the way they have to do things now.
Back at the community, Serena and Murphy are flat-out ridiculous while dealing with her labor pains. Doc has no clue what to do between a sick 10k and the mother-to-be’s screaming. At one point Doc arms himself with a meat cleaver after witnessing the baby pushing through Serena’s stomach to say hello to her father. Murphy isn’t fazed. After Addy and Vasquez return, she succumbs to the anthrax, as well. Roberta is pushed into a corner. She can let two of her people die, jeopardizing the safety of Murphy and the baby who both carry the cure, or she can rob some very nice people and doom their sick to death. The latter option wins. There’s simply too much at stake—which she conveys to Jacob as they steal what little Cipro is left.
Back on baby watch, it’s time for the blessed event. This is one determined newborn. The little girl not only pulls herself from Serena’s womb—without injuring her mother—but she also chews through her umbilical cord. The crew aren’t the only ones to witness the birth. Zombies from everywhere flock to the barn, including three people leading a camel.
Yes, they snuck in a Jesus joke. You may applaud them for their audacity.
The zombies are riled up once Murphy holds his daughter. He can’t control the undead, they’re too focused on his daughter. Serena sacrifices herself, attacking the zombies so Murphy and the others can flee. Roberta stops to give her mercy after she turns. It’s unclear how, exactly, everyone makes it out of the barn unscathed considering 10k and Addy were too sick to move at the moment of the birth. Television magic, I guess.
Father and daughter have a nice bonding moment before Roberta orders everyone back into the truck so they can continue to dodge the nuclear fallout and head toward California. Murphy takes a second to give his little girl a proper name, Lucy, named after his mother.
And the moment is over when the camera cuts to the giant cheese wheel still mowing down everything in its path.
How fast can the group travel with a newborn on board? Hard to tell. Plus, there’s now the problem of feeding a baby without a mother or supplies. What does Lucy eat? We’ll probably find out soon. I’m going to guess baby doesn’t crave momma’s milk.
His collection is impressive; film posters from nearly every zombie film to date, real live zombies, and his crowning glory, undead George R. R. Martin—portrayed by the A Song of Ice and Fire author himself.
