Whether zombies are knocking on your door, or a natural disaster forces you to evacuate, there are a few vital skills everyone should know in order to keep your family safe.
Water, in any disaster or even while camping, is a precious commodity. Honestly, the best method to ensure you have enough is to keep store-bought gallons of water on-hand just in case. Store a three-day supply of water—one gallon of water per person per day. That does not include water for washing dishes—which must also be purified—washing your face, brushing teeth, and tending to any possible medical emergencies. At the very least, a three-day supply will give you guaranteed clean water long enough to allow you to find a safe water source to pull and purify.
In a pinch, FEMA and the Red Cross recommends the following methods for cleaning and purifying water for drinking.
Option 1: Boiling
Boiling water kills water-born pathogens that can make one ill. Boil a pot of water at 160*F (a rolling boil, not a simmer) for at least 1 minute (you may boil longer if you wish). While, yes, it will kill anything in the water, it will not filter out any debris or make the water taste better. Pack some cheesecloth in your go bag and pour the water through of few layers of that before boiling to filter out debris.
Option 2: Chlorine Treatment
Using an eyedropper, add 8-10 drops of non-scented, regular liquid chlorine bleach per gallon of water to purify (up to 16 drops if the water is cloudy). Stir and let the water stand for 30 minutes.
Tip: The water should smell a little like bleach (or tap water in a large city). If it does not, repeat the process and let stand for 15 minutes. If after the second dose of bleach, it doesn’t smell like chlorine, the water is too dirty to purify.
Option 3: Distillation
Distillation will not only kill most microbes that will make you ill, it will also make sure you do not drink heavy metals, salt, and other chemicals (such as those used in other purification methods). This is the ideal method to use if you have children, infants, or anyone with serious health conditions in camp. Remember, though, it is a slow process to clean enough water for an adult’s recommended intake of half a gallon of water per day.
Find a large, clean pot with a lid. You will also need a cup and string/twine. Fill the pot half way with water. Tie the cup onto the handle of the pot lid and put the lid onto the pot upside down, so the cup hangs inside the pot. Make sure the cup is not touching the water. Bring the pot of water to a boil for 20 minutes. The water vapors will condense on the pot lid and drip into the cup. The water in the cup is distilled and ready for drinking.
There are two more methods available for water treatment.
Option 4: Iodine Treatment
Use 5 drops of liquid iodine for every quart of water (up to 12 drops if the water is cloudy). Make sure the iodine contains 5.25% hypochlorite as the only active ingredient. The Red Cross or FEMA does not recommend anything else as suitable for water treatments. Iodine treatments are also available in crystal and tablet form. Follow the directions on the bottles for those.
Note: Iodine water treatment is not recommended for pregnant or breast-feeding women, anyone over 50, or anyone with thyroid problems. If after the first treatment, the water does not smell like iodine, it is too dirty to purify. Iodine treatment is not recommended for long-term survival use (over a week or two).
Option 5: Filter systems
There is a range of water filters available at camping supply stores. Some of them are downright expensive. If you live in an area with frequent flooding, hurricanes, or any natural disaster that would remove you from your home(aside from the pending Zombiepocalypse), we’d suggest maybe looking into a filter system. As far as stocking your go bag, use one of the above options and save your money for the essentials–toilet paper and coffee.
Tips:
For all of the above water treatment options, ensure that the container you collect/purify the water in is CLEAN—washed with soap or rinsed with diluted bleach.
Be sure to collect clear-looking water from a moving source. Ponds and other stagnant bodies of water will have far more bacteria than large, flowing bodies of water. The cleaner the water is when you start the purification process, the easier it will be to clean.
Always boil water you intend to cook with BEFORE adding food—at least 2 minutes of a hard, rolling boil before cooking to prevent bacteria from hiding in the food.
Storage:
It is recommended that you utilize commercially bought, food-safe water containers to store water in case of an emergency. Wash the containers with soap and water and rinse thoroughly before filling.
If you do not have the resources to buy a container, use a two-liter soda bottle. Not plastic jugs from milk, or juice (the sugar and protein do not wash out and the water will spoil). Wash the two-liter bottles and lids with soap and water and rinse thoroughly.
Fill the bottles with water from the tap at home (Add two drops of bleach per gallon if your house draws from a well. Public water sources are already treated). Or, use the clean bottles to store your boiled/treated water after it is cool/clean. Water stored in this manner will last for about six months.
Once again, it is time to delve into the realm of myth to find the sliver of truth behind some of the misinformation you, loyal ZSC brigadiers, may have heard while preparing for the Zombiepocalypse.
Myth: The only way to make a safe getaway is to have a souped-up zombie survival car.
Fact: Bells and whistled sure do draw a lot of unwanted attention.
There has been a trend in the last couple of years wherein folks have taken it upon themselves to try and modify their vehicles so that they have a fighting chance during post-apocalyptic scenarios. Personally, we blame one-too-many viewings of Mad Max and Tank Girl.
However, in June Hyundai announced that they’d teamed up with The Walking Dead’s Robert Kirkman to produce their ideal “Zombie Survival Machine” to celebrate the release of the comic book’s 100th installment. The vehicle was on display at San Diego Comic-Con in July and yours truly got to see if this modified Hyundai Elantra lives up to our idea of what it takes to survive the Zombiepocalypse.
Vehicle Specs: Mounted to the front is a massive spiked plow to move any oncoming zombies. An armored roof hatch opens, allowing the passenger to safely shoot attackers. Massive auxiliary off-road-spec lamps on the roof light the way. A winch on the nose of the car should come in handy, right? It also has racing wheels with huge serrated blades attached to the rims. To top it off, there are welded caged window openings to prevent the undead from reaching through and grabbing you.
There’s a CB radio to keep in contact with the others back at camp. A pair of machetes are mounted beside the center console as a just-in-case weapon. There are also explosives, a net launcher in the trunk and a fully functioning NOS system installed—on the off chance that you need even more bang-for-your-buck.
What is the “Zombie Survival Machine” lacking? Storage space. The net launcher eats up almost all of the trunk area. If you’re using a car at the end of days, you’re going to want to be able to shove everything you think is vital inside to make a getaway.
Cars in the Zombiepocalypse will all have one fatal flaw, no matter what shiny gadgets are strapped onto it—the need for fuel. Unless manufacturers begin producing a vehicle that runs strictly on water or solar power, depending on a vehicle past the first couple of weeks will be impossible. Invest on a couple good pairs of hiking boots and for your traveling needs.
Rated: PG (scary action and images, thematic elements, some rude humor and language)
Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick and Christopher Mintz-Plasse
They let me out of the Zombie Survival Crew command center. Freedom! Well, not really. I was bound in chains and hidden in the back row at an undisclosed movie theater to watch Paranorman. I should have known they’d only let me out to work. Admittedly, though the movie is for young, delicious children, I did thoroughly enjoy it.
Paranorman is centered on Norman, a quiet outcast who has a very strange ability—he talks to ghosts. In his quest to remain on the fringe of society in order to not draw attention from bullies, Norman is dragged further into the weirdness that surrounds his life. His crazy uncle tracks him down and passes on a family legacy tied to his talent with the paranormal. Norman must take a book and read it at a certain location to keep a three-hundred year old witch’s ghost from hatching her curse, a curse that would unleash a band of zombies on Norman’s small home town. Except Norman runs out of time and the zombies crawl out of their graves, seeking and end to the curse.
The film opens with Norman watching a bad zombie movie with his grandmother. Within the first few minutes, both adults and children were giggling at the screen. You can’t help yourself. The humor is done in levels, entertaining the target audience and the folks forced to go with said audience.
I should note that I saw the film in 2D. 3D glasses don’t work well if you’re missing an ear. Even without the bells and whistles, the artistic talent put into the creation of the stop-motion puppets was astounding. Each of the characters, major or background, were fully detailed—down to the stitching on Norman’s mother’s ugly-as-sin “mom jeans”. The zombies were very well realized. Not too graphic so as to not terrify the children, but still pretty banged up and decayed. One can only hope to look that good after three hundred years in a pine box.
Portions of the story seem contrived to push Norman to reach certain decisions. He makes a leap in logic that left me scratching a hole in my scalp before being reminded that kids don’t have the patience to wait for a character to learn certain lessons. They’d rather see the outcome of the lesson than the learning. Doesn’t mean the filmmakers left out important moral lessons about bullying, anger management, and tolerance, though. One off-hand reveal at the end should be applauded. You’ll know it when you see it.
Overall, Paranorman is a great movie to introduce children to zombies, especially those that can’t handle overly scary things. There is an ample amount of humor laced with traditional horror elements to act as a buffer. A huge bonus is that filmmakers throw in a lot of old horror movie references for adults.
I give Paranorman four dismembered feet out of five. It is undead fun for the entire family.
SITUATION: Dire. Recon footage shows rural and suburban fortifications have been completely overrun. The viral outbreak to the east, once limited to these outer regions, has gone full-scale, spreading westward like wildfire among the dense populations of the city. Most citizens have been infected and quarantined.
MISSION: You are part of a small band of survivors on a scouting mission who must enter the quarantine area under the cover of darkness. Avoid the ravenous zombie hordes roaming the night and make it back to safety.
October 13 – Holly State Recreation Area, Michigan
Be Prepared:
Do you have $1,550 burning a hole in your pocket and an itchy trigger finger whenever anyone mentions the Zombiepocalypse? Yankee Hill Machinery has produced a stunning zombie-inspired AR-15 rifle, the SOC-150 “Zombie Hunter”. (via Guns.com)
Dead Island Riptide First Look Preview — We Have to Go Back…and Kill More Zombies! (via G4)
‘ZombiU’ Buckingham Palace escape trailer unveiled (via Digital Spy)
Commander Corner
Sean Patrick Flanery and J. LaRose sighting! On October 23rd, sinners will be able to purchase the DVD and Blu-ray for The Devil’s Carnival.
“In THE DEVIL’S CARNIVAL sinners are invited to a theme park where they endure the repetition of their transgressions. What chances do a conniving kleptomaniac, a gullible teenager, and an obsessed father stand when facing their own moral failings? Lucifer and his colorful cast of singing carnies invite you to grab a ticket to THE DEVIL’S CARNIVAL to find out!”
We’re back to tackle another round of myth bashing Zombie Survival Crew style. This segment is here to help you, loyal brigadiers, from using bad information to protect yourselves during the Zombiepocalypse. Your safety is important to us.
Myth: There is no way to build a functional zombie trap.
Fact: Well, not if you go into the planning stages expecting to remake a mousetrap in human size. Laying a bloody arm on a wood platform and rigging a pressure switch to release a giant iron bar to crush whatever happens to get in the way seems like a cool idea (and yes, I did consider building one just because it seemed cool) but that isn’t what we’re talking about here.
The idea behind a zombie trap is to capture and dispose of as many undead as possible with minimal risk or loss of human life. Given that we’re placing these traps in what will likely be a wasteland after the first wave of attacks, there isn’t much concern about how much collateral damage these traps cause.
With that in mind, I say kill them with fire.
Many of the zombie trap designs I came across while researching involved making modifications to your home that would contain one or two zombies at a time, allowing you to dispatch them with a blow to the skull. That’s all well and good if you live in a rural area with a low population. The more people around you, the more potential zombies are lurking next door.
Down the road from my current undisclosed location is a string of abandoned warehouses. These were businesses that went belly-up in the latest financial crisis and just locked the doors, leaving everything inside. A few of them have mountains of wooden pallets. While scouting locations, I came up with this zombie trap plan:
Cut off a quarter of the building’s interior with chain link fencing that will withhold a good amount of weight. Make sure this portion of the building has at least three exit points. This is your staging area, be sure to secure the exterior of each exit point with solid walls of metal sheeting. In the rest of the building, lay down old carpeting and stack up anything flammable to create a maze of sorts. Cover all but one door and seal any windows that can be used to escape in that portion of the space.
Now for the part that can get a tad hairy if your team isn’t prepared. You’re going to have a party. Not really, but that is about the noise range you need to reach in order to draw the zombies in. Be loud. Light a barbecue (outside, that place is rigged to ignite FAST). Basically, you’re advertising that humans are present and waiting to be slaughtered like teens at a summer camp.
Once the zombies find a way to get to the yummy humans inside the building, you need to act quickly. Prepare about half a dozen or so Molotov cocktails and have them ready to go. Light and chuck them into the stacks of flammable materials. Once the building goes up, so will the zombies. Don’t worry about blocking the door they came into. They’ll bottleneck trying to escape.
The important part is to get out of the building as quickly as possible once it ignites. Outside forces need to make sure there is a clear line to your vehicles to get out of dodge before the building comes down.
Is my zombie trap a loss of resources? Yes. But if you plan to stay in the city, sacrifices will need to be made in order to put a serious dent in the undead population. It isn’t the perfect zombie trap, however it will work if done right.
Do you have a zombie trap planned? Share it with us in the comments.
Is there a zombie myth you think we should dig into? Send to us in the comments
Rated: Not Rated (Extreme violence, gore, and strong adult language.)
Starring: Craig Fairbrass, Jamie Murray, and MyAnna Buring.
Very, very rarely does a film I’ve been asked to review surprise this cantankerous rotting corpse. The last few have been nightmares. Not because they were particularly terrifying, but because they weren’t all that good.
Devil’s Playground (2010) was a pleasant change from the current trend in extra-cheesy and poorly realized zombie films—even when, at times, it feels like a domesticated version of Resident Evil.
In an effort to find a safe life-enhancing drug, pharmaceutical company N-Gen accidentally infects all of its test subjects with a virus that mutates, turning them into ravenous beasts. The drugs affects transform all but one trial subject. A mercenary for the agency, Cole, is sent to find her. Along the way, he is infected and has roughly eighteen hours to track her down and bring her back before he becomes a zombie. Angie may be the only way to stop the zombies from taking over the UK one city at a time. That is if her friends, family, and fellow survivors allow her to do what is best for mankind.
There is the usual genre tropes tossed around in the movie. Utilizing the opening credits to run a series of vignettes that catches viewers up to the current time frame of the film is tired. However they shot it well enough that, even though it has been used to death, it didn’t bore me right away. The film also made ample use of television and radio clips to keep the characters and viewers in touch with what was happening away from what was on screen. It did get repetitive after a while, though. Oh and the flashbacks. Those were far overdone and, frankly, as useless as nipples on a male pig.
One other thing that comes back again and again is tied to the back-story between some of the lead characters. We get it; this guy is extremely jealous and protective of Angie. Beating that idea into viewers head will garner absolutely no sympathy for the character because by the time we’re supposed to feel that way, we just want him to shut up and quit getting in the way.
As far as the zombies themselves, the makeup isn’t the most detailed I’ve seen in a genre film, but it is somewhat unique. The zombies are revealed in stages, with the final stage being visibly gruesome without going too far into decay. It fits with the method of infection really well and doesn’t distract from how holy-hell-fast the infected are. Lace up your running shoes, folks, and pray these aren’t the zombies that take over during the Zombiepocalypse.
Overall, the film is grossly underrated. I’m giving it three-and-three-quarter mangled faces out of five—by far one of the better films to be slid under my cell door in over a year.
Since the mishap in Florida, we’ve been closely monitoring communication lines between UGA (Unnamed Government Agency) agents and their superior commanders. Things have been quiet on that front for the most part, until this past week. Below is the decoded message we intercepted from Agents Smith and Wiggins to the field office in northern Utah.
We are declaring a state of emergency for the South East quadrant. The serum released in May as an in-field study of our ZSF program has mutated and spread beyond what the lab techs predicted. Attempts to keep the attacks have been mostly successful, but we cannot contain this on our own.
Send assistance ASAP.
The field office sent the following reply:
In an effort to remain under the radar, we cannot at the present send additional forces to the South East quadrant without alerting the ZSC to our plans. Dispose of the infected and maintain efforts to keep the media silenced.
Further orders will be sent via usual channels.
We were correct to assume UGA interference in the current rash of strange news hitting the airwaves. What is project ZSF? How far has this serum of theirs spread? Rest assured that your ZSC commanders are looking into this current problem.
Again, we ask that if you witness unusual behavior, please contact local authorities. Double check your weapons and go bags, brigadiers. Plans have been put into motion to counteract the UGA threat. Remain vigilant and hopeful. We will get to the bottom of this.
From the laboratory of the Oracle Top Secret Alert Level: Orange
As you know, for quite some time we’ve been keeping an eye on our Orange Brigade Commander, RC Murphy. Her obsession with zombie bunnies and keeping them in the command center, despite the mischief they do, has been a cause for concern. I banned them from my laboratory last year … the third time they chewed through the top-secret communication lines was the last straw. There was much pleading and pouting, but I stood firm.
You’d have thought I was sending them all out to face a firing squad or something. *rolls eyes* Because of the delicate operations being conducted in my laboratory and all the top-secret communications being processed, compiled, and analyzed, I need a clean room environment and simply can’t have rabbit droppings everywhere. Out they scampered, little ears drooping, while following Commander Murphy as she shuffled in the lead. But enough of that ….
Our concern escalated when RC attended San Diego Comic-Con, ostensibly in stealth mode, but carrying her furry infatuation with her through the crowds. Please note the white fur-ball attached to her waist in the picture to the right. How she managed to pull off incognito while strapping a zombie to her side, even if it was a bunny, is beyond me, but it is a testament to Commander Murphy’s ninja skills. It is a known fact that zombies become excitable in crowds, like a busload of senior citizens when dropped off at a smorgasbord, so on the surface it would seem our Commander carried her fascination to the point of jeopardizing the security of the Zombie Survival Crew. However, there were no incidents. How did she convince the bunny to play dead, instead of undead?
To be clear—it is not Commander Murphy’s dedication to the Zombie Survival Crew that is in question. Her loyalty is beyond reproach. I have wondered, as the bunny horde has increased, whether or not one or more of them have been plants by the UGA (Unnamed Government Agency), exploiting the Commander’s love of small furry objects for their own nefarious ends. There has been a distinct behavioral change and Commander Murphy is not to be seen outside the command center without one of her pets lashed to her side. Come to think of it, even while IN the command center, she doesn’t move without at least one or two as her cadre.
In order to protect the Zombie Survival Crew and the safety of its members, I have taken matters into my own hands and have begun testing on the zombie bunnies. We need to know with certainty that our actions are not being reported, despite all precautionary measures, through these bunnies. So far, no recording devices, cameras, or anything foreign has been identified, but I will continue my investigation. Hmmmm—I am beginning to see why Commander Murphy has a fascination with them …
… they are EVIL CUTE.
The PROBLEM is that while they are cute, they are ALSO bunnies—which means we are quickly approaching bunny infestation level.
*ACTIVATES CRISIS MODE*
So here’s the deal *leans in and whispers* Don’t tell Commander Murphy … I have been keeping back those which I have vetted and ensured are nothing more than a normal zombie bunny. I don’t want to return them to the regular population—and they are too cute to kill—so the Zombie Survival Crew will let them go to a good home for $16.95. Let us know your brigade colors and we’ll make sure their bandages are brigade specific.
Starring: Ving Rhames, Taryn Manning, and Johnny Pacar.
Is there a complaint form available for an undead guy being tortured by a group of slayers? Honestly, forcing me to watch a Syfy movie and then retain enough of my decomposing brain cells in order to review it is cruel and unusual punishment. Governments have laws against this sort of treatment. It isn’t fair that those laws only extend to the living. I want to call my senator!
I still have to review the movie, don’t I? Let’s get this over with.
2012: Zombie Apocalypse (2011) was the Syfy channel’s answer to the current trend in zombie-related movies and television shows. Essentially, they took every single genre stereotype and crammed it into a ninety-minute film.
A virus sweeps over the globe and infects over 90% of the population in a matter of weeks, turning them into ravenous corpses. In an effort to contain the zombies, the United States government wipes out all modes of transport and communication.
After being holed up in a cabin during the beginning of the outbreak, a trio of survivors is forced out of hiding to find supplies. As they gather food, they are attacked and nearly-simultaneously saved. The survivors band together with their rescuers to stay alive. The group decides to head west—where there’s been a rumor of a safe haven on Catalina Island off the coast of California.
The dialog is predictable, as are the frequency of zombie attacks and the method of their demise. Half of the cast didn’t seem to know the hell to hold the weapon they’d been given, let alone how to swing it in a way that’d believably kill anything more threatening than a dust bunny. And can we stop with the computer-generated blood splatter, already? It never looks right. Use the extra money from that to buy backup wardrobe pieces and use real fake blood.
While I’m on makeup effects…there are typically a few “layers” from camera to background as far as extras are concerned. The zombies closer to the camera are “hero” zombies, extras or stunt persons who have extensive work done on their makeup for close-up shots. Back from them are main zombies, who are made up to be on camera a good amount of time, but not with enough detail for close ups. Behind those are “filler”—extras with minimal makeup, a lot of blood, and never get close to camera. Sometimes when a makeup department is small, they will make up masks similar to the zombie look needed for the film and put those on the filler extras. You shouldn’t be able to count seven of these masked extras in frame. It looked awful, watching them run right up to the camera and seeing the latex masks jiggle.
My final word on 2012: Zombie Apocalypse—Zombie Tigers. That is when I quit the movie.
I’m giving this film two-and-a-half partially-eaten brains out of five. If you want to torture yourself or friends, go ahead. Grab some popcorn and adult beverages; you’re going to need them to get through the whole thing unscathed.
From Walker Murphy as she’s chained to Michonne, along with her furry friend
On July 13th, a large portion of The Walking Dead’s cast and executive producers braved the insane crowds at San Diego Comic-Con. They started the day with a signing in the TWD booth (complete with life-like Michonne and walker mannequins). A horde of fans crowded around to get a peek. Yours truly was nearly trampled by some of the fans on the outskirts of the crowd.
In the afternoon, the cast and producers hit the stage in Hall H, SDCC’s largest meeting hall. Even with the upgrade to the larger room, they still could not fit all of the fans inside. People were lining up at 4 AM just to catch a glimpse of our favorite crew of survivors and hopefully hear some good news about season 3.
I won’t keep you guys waiting any longer; here are the important parts from the TWD panel at SDCC.
First off, The Walking Dead will return to our televisions on Sunday, October 14th at 9:00 PM. International fans will be able to watch starting the day after and throughout the following week.
Secondly, they confirmed the first-person-shooter The Walking Dead game from Activision, starring our favorite pair of redneck brothers, Merle and Daryl Dixon. This is our only chance to get more background on the pair. Robert Kirkman said they prefer to not utilize flashbacks to develop character story arcs on the show.
Lastly, this wasn’t announced on the panel, but we just got word that Universal Studios is producing a Walking Dead maze during their gigantic Halloween Horror Nights extravaganza in October at both Universal Studios Hollywood and Orlando. They plan to drop brave souls smack-dab in the middle of some of the iconic and downright terrifying moments from the show, including Rick’s long, lonely walk down the halls of the hospital and the front window display of the department store where walkers broke through to get to the crew in season 1.
Now for some fun tidbits gleaned from the hour-long panel before we share the 4-minute trailer for season 3.
Executive producer, Greg Nicotero says that, this season the zombies will be even more detailed. They’re decaying as time progresses, hungrier than ever, and gathering in droves to go after Rick and his crew. Nicotero also directed an episode (maybe another this season?) of the show, which they finished filming before taking a few days off for SDCC.
May we ever see a musical episode of The Walking Dead? It is highly unlikely. However Laurie Holden and Danai Gurira have taken to mini-musical sessions between scenes on set. Laurie sings and they both dance and laugh. A lot of that chemistry promises to translate to the screen as Andrea and Michonne are separated from the main cast and struggle to keep going in the rough post-apocalyptic word.
Steven Yeun and Lauren Cohan are very excited for everyone to see where their characters’ relationship goes. That is, if Glenn can accept that Maggie loves him no matter what. She will do anything necessary to protect the family she has left and the man she loves. He is finally growing into the man he wants to be, but does that leave room for a love life? And can we say, thank goodness that we’re not in a real Zombiepocalypse? Steven told fans at the panel that he’d only fight to survive if attractive women surrounded him. “If it’s all bros, maybe I’ll lay down and let [the zombies] bite me.”
New cast member, David Morrissey, is excited to join the cast of TWD. He’s a huge fan of the show and jumped at the chance to be involved. David found his home with the cast and crew since they began filming in May and has been pinching himself since then…even if the heat and humidity in Georgia make filming somewhat uncomfortable.
Andrew Lincoln sang the praises of their youngest (and absent) cast member, Chandler Riggs. He says that Chandler, both in and out of character makes decisions far beyond his years and gets to go on this incredible journey. If Andrew could play another character on the show, he’d choose to be Carl so he could go through the experiences that Chandler is. Not to say that Rick’s experiences aren’t thrilling. But Andrew admits that where Rick is mentally is, “driving me bananas.”
There were a lot of fun moments in the SDCC panel discussion for The Walking Dead, but the best moment has to be the amazing 4-minute trailer they played before introducing the cast. Check it out below and let us know which moment you’re looking forward to seeing once The Walking Dead returns on October 14th.
They let me out of the Zombie Survival Crew command center. Freedom! Well, not really. I was bound in chains and hidden in the back row at an undisclosed movie theater to watch Paranorman. I should have known they’d only let me out to work. Admittedly, though the movie is for young, delicious children, I did thoroughly enjoy it.
Top Stories:
Fact: Well, not if you go into the planning stages expecting to remake a mousetrap in human size. Laying a bloody arm on a wood platform and rigging a pressure switch to release a giant iron bar to crush whatever happens to get in the way seems like a cool idea (and yes, I did consider building one just because it seemed cool) but that isn’t what we’re talking about here.
Is there a complaint form available for an undead guy being tortured by a group of slayers? Honestly, forcing me to watch a Syfy movie and then retain enough of my decomposing brain cells in order to review it is cruel and unusual punishment. Governments have laws against this sort of treatment. It isn’t fair that those laws only extend to the living. I want to call my senator!