The Evil Cute

From the laboratory of the Oracle
Top Secret
Alert Level: Orange

As you know, for quite some time we’ve been keeping an eye on our Orange Brigade Commander, RC Murphy. Her obsession with zombie bunnies and keeping them in the command center, despite the mischief they do, has been a cause for concern. I banned them from my laboratory last year … the third time they chewed through the top-secret communication lines was the last straw. There was much pleading and pouting, but I stood firm.

You’d have thought I was sending them all out to face a firing squad or something. *rolls eyes* Because of the delicate operations being conducted in my laboratory and all the top-secret communications being processed, compiled, and analyzed, I need a clean room environment and simply can’t have rabbit droppings everywhere. Out they scampered, little ears drooping, while following Commander Murphy as she shuffled in the lead. But enough of that ….

Our concern escalated when RC attended San Diego Comic-Con, ostensibly in stealth mode, but carrying her furry infatuation with her through the crowds. Please note the white fur-ball attached to her waist in the picture to the right. How she managed to pull off incognito while strapping a zombie to her side, even if it was a bunny, is beyond me, but it is a testament to Commander Murphy’s ninja skills. It is a known fact that zombies become excitable in crowds, like a busload of senior citizens when dropped off at a smorgasbord, so on the surface it would seem our Commander carried her fascination to the point of jeopardizing the security of the Zombie Survival Crew. However, there were no incidents. How did she convince the bunny to play dead, instead of undead?

To be clear—it is not Commander Murphy’s dedication to the Zombie Survival Crew that is in question. Her loyalty is beyond reproach. I have wondered, as the bunny horde has increased, whether or not one or more of them have been plants by the UGA (Unnamed Government Agency), exploiting the Commander’s love of small furry objects for their own nefarious ends. There has been a distinct behavioral change and Commander Murphy is not to be seen outside the command center without one of her pets lashed to her side. Come to think of it, even while IN the command center, she doesn’t move without at least one or two as her cadre.

In order to protect the Zombie Survival Crew and the safety of its members, I have taken matters into my own hands and have begun testing on the zombie bunnies. We need to know with certainty that our actions are not being reported, despite all precautionary measures, through these bunnies. So far, no recording devices, cameras, or anything foreign has been identified, but I will continue my investigation. Hmmmm—I am beginning to see why Commander Murphy has a fascination with them …

… they are EVIL CUTE.

The PROBLEM is that while they are cute, they are ALSO bunnies—which means we are quickly approaching bunny infestation level.

*ACTIVATES CRISIS MODE*

So here’s the deal *leans in and whispers* Don’t tell Commander Murphy … I have been keeping back those which I have vetted and ensured are nothing more than a normal zombie bunny. I don’t want to return them to the regular population—and they are too cute to kill—so the Zombie Survival Crew will let them go to a good home for $16.95. Let us know your brigade colors and we’ll make sure their bandages are brigade specific.

You know you want one!


Mission: Volunteers Needed

RESUPPLY Volunteers Needed
Mission Level: Medium-High

Zombie Survival Crew command has been working on the appropriate strategy for mobilizing the crew in the event of a Zombiepocalypse or other global cataclysmic event. Honorable Brigadier, JL Coburn (SAPPED), has amassed a great amount of data and provided it to the Oracle for her to sift through to come up with the best plan.

We’re now looking for volunteers to help take this to the next level. In order for you to see how you can help Mission: RESUPPLY, you must be registered for this site and logged in.


Jonathan Maberry Gives Power to Special Forces

From the Oracle’s laboratory

As you know, the Zombie Survival Crew command is always alert and on the look out for zombie related activity. During one of my forays into the twitterverse, I noted a higher than average zombie reading coming from the literary sector. Proceeding with caution, I investigated and found an amazing occurrence… none other than Jonathan Maberry tweeting about Dead of Night, Rot & Ruin, and Dust & Decay. Clearly this was someone who has knowledge we need on the crew. So, I took a chance and retweeted to see how he would respond. He followed me. Normally, as you know, I consider following a suspect activity, but in this case, I considered it a compliment. Still holding observation, I watched his tweet patterns and the more I watched, the more impressed I became with his professionalism. I plotted my approach. And Jonathan responded eagerly.

When it comes to an individual who knows the enemy, Jonathan has done more than his share of the research. And he shares his knowledge with us all to help us prepare. Not only that, he has major street-cred as a kenjutsu instructor and has been a martial arts instructor for almost 50 years. Who better to lead the Special Forces in hand-to-rotting limb combat? Zombie Survival Crew please raise your weapons and welcome our newest commander in the Special Forces NY Times Bestseller and Multiple Bram Stoker Award winner, Jonathan Maberry!!!!

And as a treat, below is the trailer for his latest novel, Dead of Night!

 


Escape Route Plans – Sectors

Zombie Survival Crew command has been working on the appropriate strategy for mobilizing the crew in the event of a Zombiepocalypse or other global cataclysmic event. Honorable Brigadier, JL Coburn (SAPPED), has amassed a great amount of data and provided it to the Oracle for her to sift through to come up with the best plan. Don’t be left out in the cold! In order for you to view the escape route plans, you must be registered for this site and logged in. If you are already registered and logged in, you’ll definitely want to check out where your closest resupply station is.


The Quirky Yet Essential Items of the Purple Brigade

Purple Brigade

Purple Brigade Commander LK Gardner-Griffie (aka The Oracle) explains the reasons for her choices of essential Go Bag items… But in order to see what the reasons are, you’ll need to login and if you are not a registered member, please take a few moments and register for the site. The links for both the login and the Member Registration can be found in the sidebar to the right.


Travel Tips From The Oracle

The chief has been called on to travel across the country on a mission for the Zombie Survival Crew, where she will meet up with Green Brigade Commander — IronE Singleton, her trusted right-hand man, Red Brigade First Lieutenant, Neil Brown, Jr., and me (the Oracle — Commander of the Purple Brigade). Since this is the first time our fearless leader has traveled on ZSC business without the use of her trusty workhorse truck, and since she’s practically lived in it for months on end, I decided there were a few reminders she might need.

  1. You don’t need to carry your whole life with you. This is a short jaunt and you’ll be back in time to leave in your beloved truck for the next mission. Keep the truck packed and only bring essentials. Commercial airlines DO weigh luggage.
  2. While it may pain you to leave it behind, it is best to remain circumspect with the airlines because the government is controlling the baggage, so leave the trusted crossbow at home.
  3. (And this is one from personal experience) Do NOT attempt to carry on a pink plastic stick…. Airport security does not find this amusing and will put you in jail for the attempt.
  4. You are not in control of the itinerary. The airline has commissioned pilots and they give the directions to the pilots. In fact, if you attempt to storm the cockpit to issue instructions, airplane security will detain you.
  5. The other people on the plane are not all UGA plants (although I’m sure there will be one or two, so watch your back). Do not respond with any guerrilla warfare tactics learned from Neil Brown, Jr. if someone attempts to engage you in conversation.
  6. Texting and calling is forbidden while in flight. This is non-negotiable. The rest of the commanders and I have taken up a collection to ensure that the regulation remains that way. It is the only time within the year where we can be certain of lack of communication from you. We’re all going to take a nap… after ensuring command is manned appropriately.
  7. You will be involved in some social situations during your mission:
    1. When someone reaches for you with open arms, do not run screaming the other way. They are trying to give you a hug, not chew your face off.
    2. It is best not to enter the room throwing orders left and right to bystanders as you trundle through the crowd.
    3. It is generally frowned upon in a social situation to run screaming in circles. If you feel the need, please excuse yourself and find an empty alley or bathroom (with lots of carpet to deaden the sound) to carry out this activity.
    4. Smile and nod — this works in all situations.

Hopefully the chief will be able to remember these 7 simple rules… Otherwise, the next memo from the Command Center may be about taking up a collection for bail.