T-Dog’s Next Line contest – Country Winners!

We here at Zombie Survival Crew Command are just now managing to crawl out from under the horde of zombies unleashed by The Walking Dead season premiere Sunday night!!! Wow, what an adrenaline rush! By the time the premiere ended the Command Center was littered with ice cream wrappers, handfuls of tossed popcorn and a pile of bloody machetes!

 

Our Commander in Chief Juliette Terzieff managed to make it through the premiere without biting any holes in her fingers (as she’s been known to do during Walking Dead episodes…twice), but both she and Yellow Brigade Commander Jinxie G managed to scream themselves hoarse. Orange Brigade Commander R.C. Murphy ended up inside the zombie bunneh cages attempting to cuddle the vicious creatures.

 

Only Green Brigade Commander IronE Singleton and Special Forces Commander Michael Rooker were left standing….armed and ready for more hand-to-hand combat.

 

We were scheduled to announce the country winners for the T-Dog’s Next Line contest right after the premiere aired –and we do apologize for the delay. Those popcorn kernals were really hard to get out of the Command computer keyboard!!!

 

So now, without any further ado, here are the medal-winning countries in the in T-Dog’s Next Line contest!!!

 

Gold – U.S.A.

Silver – Ireland

Bronze – France

 

Congratulations!!!

 

There were entries that made us laugh, cry…cringe. The Walking Dead fans are definitely a creative bunch! And we’re now continuing to sift through all the entries and will post individual category winners on October 28!

 

Until then, stay tuned to The Walking Dead Sunday nights on AMC…if you dare!


Special News Report: You Have A Right To Be Concerned

From inside the zombie bunny cages of RC Murphy

Alert Level: HIGH

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Alexander Kinyua

Earlier this week we brought you reports of a man in Miami, Florida that attacked and consumed his victim’s face before being shot and killed by local police. Official reports are stating that the attacker may have been suffering severe psychosis from use of a synthetic drug with the street name of “bath salts” (Not to be confused with the rose and lavender bath salts you gave your grandmother for Mother’s Day). As more witness statements are released, we realize that if the drugs are indeed to blame, then manufacturers may have found a way to turn living, breathing humans into the closest thing we’ve seen to a zombie.

On the heels of that startling attack comes another. In Baltimore, Maryland a college student claims to have murdered a man and then proceeded to eat portions of his brain and the entirety of his heart before dismembering his body. The assailant kept the head and hands, then disposed of the remaining pieces of the body in a dumpster at a nearby church. As of right now authorities are unsure if Alexander Kinyua actually ingested any portion of his victim—pending a full autopsy report from the coroner.

Unlike the Miami incident, there are no noticeable signs that drugs fueled the attack. Local police refused to comment or make assumptions on the mental health of Kinyua to determine if that factors into his disturbing behavior.

Kujoe Agyei-Kodie

What would push a seemingly healthy human to attack, kill, and supposedly eat someone that’d lived with his family for the last six months? This wasn’t the first time this month that Kinyua attacked another person. The first assault happened about a week prior to his cannibalistic confession. It was reported that, after sitting with a baseball bat clutched in his hands and muttering to himself for several minutes, Kinyua beat a fellow student. That victim was treated for severe injuries, including a fractured skull that cost him the sight in one of his eyes. Before that, classmates and neighbors considered Kinyua to be a decent guy, a little quirky, but always willing to help. His behavior did a full turnabout in the matter of weeks. But why? That is the most difficult part to figure out.

We’re growing increasingly concerned at the news reports coming across the Command Center desk. This report of cannibalism is not the second, but third, extremely violent incident in a matter of weeks—all located on the east coast.

Two of the locations coincide with the travel schedule of our leader, Juliette. Last weekend, she was just hours from Miami during the assault. This week, she made her way to Baltimore in preparation for the Philadelphia Comic-Con within days of the attack. She had no clue about it until we sent out a warning broadcast to commanders in the area.

Is there something in the water? The locations are too far spread out for any sensible source to be pinpointed. All we can do is warn brigadiers to remain vigilant.

If you see someone or something suspicious, do not engage. This is not an outbreak as far as we’ve determined. Report all incidents to local police. We will be monitoring things from ZSC Command. If any more details surface that alter our opinion on a possible outbreak, you will be notified.


Withdrawals like a Walker’s Bite

Withdrawals like a Walker’s Bite

by RC Murphy

Yes, I am well aware that it’s only been a little over a week since the season two finale of The Walking Dead aired. However, that does not change the fact that I sat down in front of my television this past Sunday and whimpered, hoping by some miracle that they managed to write, film, and run the premiere of season three through post-production in a week. No such luck.

So to pass the time, I took a look back through my review notes. These are all from the hand written notes that I took while watching TWD. They reflect, sometimes a little too honestly, my reactions to what’s happening on the screen as it happens.

But, uhm… the zombie bunnies ate the notes from episodes one and two, so we’ll pick up with a couple favorites from episode three.

Episode three:

  • “The only warning I got before watching was from Mom, ‘When Daryl is the sane one, you know things got bad.’” (Yes, my mother is a fan of the show.)
  • “Glenn can’t be a sidekick when the wannabe hero has his head wedged and the actual hero is beyond needing his help.”

Episode four:

  • “Where is God, hidden in the rotting face of a walker?”
  • “Glenn bait! He’s growing into a hero/walker roper!”

Episode five:

  • “Glenn needs wooing lessons. Maybe he can ask Shane, apparently women’s underwear melt around him.”
  • “Daryl’s subconscious kicked up… Merle?”

Episode six:

  • “Let me play poker against Glenn. Cha-ching!”
  • “Andrea and Shane are going to shoot each other… (Scene change) or not. Wow.”

Episode seven:

  • Oops… Apparently episode seven didn’t produce anything amusing note-wise. This may be because I spent all my time yelling at the television and not writing.

Episode eight:

  • “Go Maggie! Slap Shane again!”
  • “Do not trust new people… Holy s— Rick!”

Episode nine:

  • “Rick, honor will get your a– full of buckshot!”
  • “Do not scare my (yes, I wrote a typo) by trying to shoot Glenn!”
  • “Andrea drank Shane’s Flavor-Aid”
  • “Look at big girl Lori using her words…”

Episode ten:

  • “What the heck?” (That one was repeated a few times…)
  • “Meat shield!”

Episode eleven:

  • “Daryl—master of the art of torture.”
  • “Too close, Carl. [censored]!”
  • “Oh my God, Dale!” (After that the notes are gibberish)

Episode twelve:

  • “Yes, Andrea, baby-sit the psychopath.”
  • “Hey, T-Dog can talk. Wow.”
  • The rest is variations of yelling at Shane. None of which I can print here due to language.

Episode thirteen:

  • “Yeah Rick, because the barn is totally walker-proof…”
  • “I ain’t riding with T-Dog. Crazy driver!”
  • “Aww… whatshisname died.”
  • “Jesus promised zombies. Neat!”
  • “What the heck? Pet zombies with ninja slayer?”

 

As you can see, I have a lot of fun while watching amidst all of the really tense, biting-my-fingernails-off moments. Did any of you have moments while watching where you unleashed your inner smart aleck at the television screen? Share your witty commentary below in the comments.

 


Blazing Glory

The Walking Dead 213 “Beside the Dying Fire”

Reviewer: RC Murphy

 

Well, hopefully none of you tried to keep a tally of how many walkers kicked the bucket in the season two finale of The Walking Dead. For about a minute I considered trying to keep track, then realized it’d be impossible without a DVR and a lot, and I mean a lot, of spare time, which is in short supply around here. Hey, who do you think cleans out the zombie bunny cages? It certainly isn’t a magical fairy, I’ll tell you that.

We’re going to tackle this in the order that it happened because otherwise someone will get lost. Two guesses who, the first doesn’t count (hint: the person typing…).

That helicopter is going to give me a migraine. We don’t hear anything about it since the pilot episode, and then suddenly bam! There it is again, taunting us with secrets we can’t figure out. My theory is that whoever owns the helicopter is using it to attract the walkers to a central location. Not sure if it is to kill them or contain them. What I do know is that Shane and Carl’s gunshots distracted the walkers chasing the helicopter. Talk about awful timing. One day later and the herd would be gone—all of that death and destruction could have been avoided. Except for one. Shane sealed his fate weeks ago. He just needed the right variables to put it in motion.

A few characters came into their own during the course of this episode. Daryl stepped up to the plate and is set to be Rick’s second in command if he wants it. Hershel flat-out gave me a heart attack. He was awesome with that shotgun, keeping the zombies away from the house with far more skill than I gave him credit for before now. And Andrea…wow. We knew from her training sessions with Shane that she’d become one of the group’s best assets with a gun. However, she proved that any weapon in her hands can and will be used to kill a walker. She’s also come a long way from waiting to die to fighting tooth and nail to survive—even after running so far for so long that her legs just gave out.

Which brings us to the biggest mystery of the season two finale: who was the hooded figure rocking the katana? Fans of the comic book recognized her right away, no doubt. Michonne plays a vital part in the season to come. She is a character to keep a close eye on, folks. Also, did you see her pet zombies? Why can’t I have pet zombies like that, Juliette? Is it because I use a broadsword instead of a katana? I’ll switch weapons! Ahem… ignore that outburst.

Another huge reveal is the fact that the virus isn’t contracted through swapping bodily fluid with walkers (ew) but thrives within every single living person. The disease activates when a human’s body begins to die. This would explain the vast differences in time from when someone is bitten or severely injured and changes to them dying and coming back. Amy’s turnover time still baffles me. She turned at the pace of a living conversion instead of dead. Probably to draw out Andrea’s misery. The writer’s are evil like that.

The Shane Issue segment may turn into the Lori Issue segment. Her behavior as of late irks me to no end. The topper this week is three-fold. First, she managed to lose her kid…again. Then because she couldn’t keep him in the house, she got mad at Rick after Carl was forced to save his life. The icing on the Lori-is-awful cake came when, instead of admitting her role in Shane’s death, she turned her back on the man that literally walked through hell to get back to her and keep her safe once he was there. Some gratitude, Lori. Really. You should give lessons on how to thank people for their sacrifices. It’d give a whole generation of people the fuel you threw on Rick’s fire to make him lay down the law once and for all.

In the end, is Rick’s declaration of a dictatorship really going to fly? As far as I see it, Shane won. He succeeded in what he tried to do since day one when Rick walked into camp and Lori shoved him aside to resume a life with her husband. The group doesn’t trust him now. Most of all, they don’t respect him, or if they do, it is a respect created from terror that some day if they step out of line, they’ll be the next with Rick’s knife buried between their ribs. Will he go that far to maintain order? It’s hard to tell, but we know that season three promises to be as intense as the last three episodes of season two. If that holds true, we may need to start duct-taping Juliette to her seat before new episodes air.

What did you think of The Walking Dead’s season two finale? Have a favorite moment? Share your opinions in the comments below.


In Brazil, Nobody is Safe!

To countdown the final week before The Walking Dead returns to AMC on February 12th, our friends over at the Brazilian TWD fan site are getting together with zombie caricature artist, Celso Ludgero (Twitter: @Celsoludgero).

Together, they think that just because someone is famous, it does not mean they will be immune to becoming a zombie during the Zombiepocalypse. We fully agree with their decree that “Nobody Is Safe.”

Stop by their website: http://www.thewalkingdead.com.br

The first victim to go under Celso’s brush is pop singer Lady Gaga. See her zombie portrait here.

 


Undead Is Not An Option: Grab Your Go Bag

We’re giving you another excerpt from the debut Zombie Survival Crew Anthology: Undead Is Not An Option, but don’t forget, YOU can be a part of the second anthology!! Click here for more details.

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Zombie Survival Crew First Lieutenant Neil Brown Jr. has got the survival gig down pat. You may know him for his on-screen characters’ fights with zombies or aliens in productions like The Walking Dead and Battle: Los Angeles, but this wise-crackin’ vato has got skills – and the Katana to back ‘em up. This son of a marine takes a look at what we should all have pre-packed in our go bags for the kind of day we hope never comes.

Grab Your Go Bag
(…and get it right!)

By Neil Brown, Jr.

Dad always used to say “police your brass” and “you need to know whether you’re hurt or injured.” And that’s just the way he raised me—to live a clean life, depend on common sense and preparation to get me through life’s bumps and bruises, and develop the mental fortitude to push through the hurts.

Served me well even from a young age. When I was about 12, on one of our many family salt water fishing trips, I tumbled off the side of the boat in the early morning while everyone else was still sleeping. I know, I know. Shouldn’t have been hanging over the side of the boat in the first place.

Even though I was terrified and screaming like crazy, I remembered what my dad taught me—tie the ends of my pants together, lift the whole thing up over the water and push down to grab the air and make a mini-life preserver. It worked. I bobbed in the water for several minutes before my dad dove in to rescue me. And it was about ten years before my dad or I told mom about the incident. What? She never would have let me go on another fishing trip.

It was common sense and preparation that saved me all those years ago, and that very same combination is our best shot during a cataclysmic event, like a Zombiepocalypse.

As for me, I can catch a rabbit, squirrel or fish in the woods faster than I can find you a gas station, so my go bag is naturally geared more towards hunting and gathering—even so it’s a combination of items that will serve any would-be survivor well.

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To read more, and learn from one of the best, check out Undead Is Not An Option.


Slaughterhouse Rules

The Walking Dead 207
Reviewer: RC Murphy

The mid-season finale for season 2 of The Walking Dead had a lot riding on it. I’m not talking about character drama, either. This first half of the season needed to live up to audience’s expectations. We were given a grab-you-by-the-throat first season of TWD. With only six episodes to make an impact, the creators and writers drove the plot and us hard, fast, and dirty. The pacing became a huge part of the appeal. With more episodes to play with, the pacing has suffered greatly. And unfortunately, it is turning people away. Episode 7 had to snag viewers attention again before the break. Did it succeed?

They wasted no time jumping into the major issue at hand: the barn. Glenn’s loyalty is seriously tested in his budding relationship with Maggie. He is torn between keeping secrets he’s sworn to by someone he just met, but feels a deep connection with, or manning up and telling the group of people that have helped him survive this long. In the end, I think he chose correctly and I think Maggie understands he did what he had to. She’s beginning to realize Hershel’s way of coping with the changes in the world aren’t the only way to do things. It only took her nearly being turned into a walker at the pharmacy to figure it out, though. Sometimes it takes a close call that rattles your world to see clearly.

The debate between Rick and Hershel about the occupants of the barn brought up a very good question: In a situation like the zombie apocalypse, is it naive to assume that all humans should band together to protect each other? Rick clings on to the hope that despite their differences in opinion, his crew and Hershel’s family can still coexist, all in the name of being safe. But from what we’ve seen, Rick forcing the issue of banding together has caused more issues. Hershel pulls his family and supplies in closer to his chest. He flat-out refuses any help from the other survivors. There’s a line in the sand, or rather a trench that’s filled with the fires of hell. Hershel cannot bring himself to even approach the line and consider the two factions becoming one group. They question his faith, the way he’s done things since even before the walkers came into existence. For someone living on the edge, that is as dangerous as approaching a zombie unarmed. In Hershel’s world it is his way or go away. No one is allowed to question him.

In the face-off between Dale and Shane we see glimpses of the same ruthless attempt to cling to control from both of the men. Unfortunately Dale isn’t a fighter. He will protect. He will give sage advice and be there if you need someone to unload all of your issues on, but he isn’t a trigger man. He tries to stand up for what he believes is the right thing and is cowed by Shane’s overwhelming presence. Does he see logic in the way Shane is handling things? Probably not. Dale isn’t a fool, though. He knows the kind of man Shane is. He also knows he can rely on that cold inner core Shane possesses to get things done, even if it scares the heck out of him.

Someone I thought would always keep that cold core is Daryl. This season has turned my perception of the mighty squirrel hunter on ear. He’s deep. Emotional. Caring. And completely clueless on how to make any sort of relationship with others work. Each time he opens up, he instantly shuts down and reverts to the “old” Daryl. Carol is the only person to consistently see into his heart, but not even she is safe from the out lash of self-loathing Daryl dives in to. He constantly slips back into the mindset likely formed by his lack of a real family unit. Why love yourself when no one else seems to give a damn? Carol cares and makes it very clear he can’t push her away. Will this tentative step towards an actual connection with another person (one not a figment of his imagination) lead to something more?

[Caution: spoilers below. If you have not watched the episode yet, walk away.]

 

 

I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about the final scene of the episode. Everything in the last six episodes came to a boiling point. Shane gave all of that anger, frustration, and lack of forward movement a voice. A very loud voice. I may not be on Team Shane, but he did what he thought he had to do to keep the family he wishes were his safe. Could he have gone about it better? Totally. It still had to be taken care of. How many more walkers would the barn have held? Did Hershel honestly think he could keep going for god knows how long simply shoving the undead away under a metaphorical rug? Eventually the rug gets so lumpy you trip and crack your head open. I think Hershel would have gone on until he himself became infected. He was so set in his idea that the zombies are still living that he couldn’t see the danger staring at him.

Even with Shane being the voice of the turmoil on the farm, it ended up being Rick who took care of the most difficult part of the entire season thus far. My own frustration came to a head when Sophia emerged from the barn. They’ve been searching so hard for so long and she’d been maybe a hundred yards away the whole time. When I sat to think about the episode, I had to wonder if Hershel realized that one of the walkers he’d captured was the little girl they were all looking for. Were his protests to leave the barn alone multifaceted? We know he thought he was keeping his “sick” family safe, but had he been hiding the truth of Sophia’s condition as well?

For as many questions as the mid-season finale (finally) answered, it posed a ton of others. Will Rick move his crew off the farm? Can Hershel look past his faith to see the world for how it really is? What will Maggie and Glenn do? I could go on and on with the questions rattling around my head. Which I probably will considering it is a very long wait until February when the second half of The Walking Dead season 2 kicks off.


Tying Nice Little Nooses

The Walking Dead 206
Reviewer: RC Murphy

This week The Walking Dead seemed to be missing something. They covered a lot of ground as far as addressing each characters plot arc but there was a key something missing. Oh, I know. Action.

Don’t mistake, I do enjoy watching our survivors grow and evolve to adjust to the harsh reality of the zombie apocalypse. That being said, it is a zombie apocalypse. They are fighting every day to survive. We were spoiled by the fast pace of the first season. The writers couldn’t take an entire episode to tie up all of their loose plot strings before the mid-season finale. That’s what they did here, gave us what I refer to as a “catch up” episode to put the ducks in a row in prep for next week, which from the previews promises the action we missed this week and then some. I hope.

We finally get to see Carl back on his feet this week. Right away it is painfully obvious that being shot has affected how he views the world. Carl is beginning to mature faster than we, with our modern sensibilities, think he should. But there is nothing Lori and Rick can do to stop this natural progression. He is old enough to realize their dire situation and wants to help protect the people he loves. Carl probably sees the world with truer eyes than anyone else when he tells his mother about the missing chicken, “Maybe she got eaten. Everything’s food for something else.” That’s the reality they live in. Some of the survivors simply refuse to see it.

That friggen barn is going to give me fits. Hershel’s ideals surrounding the occupants of the barn seem utterly ridiculous when put in contrast to what we’ve seen our band of nomads go through in and around Atlanta. We know these creatures are dead. We know that the synapses, those electric keys to what makes a human a human, aren’t working. All of this was covered for Rick’s crew at the CDC. There is no cure. These people aren’t sick. They are dead. Again, you can see Hershel’s faith coming in to play. He can’t kill the people he knows and loves. The guilt of putting them down would shatter the last marble he’s got rattling around in his stubborn brain. So instead of doing what we deem humane, he keeps zombie pets. To him it is the right thing because the Bible tells him not to kill. But what does the Good Book teach us about survival? Self defense? Turn the other cheek with a zombie and you’ll get a hole in your face.

Turning a blind eye to other situations can land you in the same sort of hot water, only this time the scars are emotional. Lori tries everything she can to avoid telling Rick about her pregnancy. She talks herself in endless circles about the future and what it could hold for her family. Admittedly, what set her off was the near-death of her son, Carl. As a mother I hope to never, ever be in a similar situation. Watching Lori go through it was bad enough. But… are her fears grounded? She says, “Memories are what keep me going”, then goes on to predict her unborn child’s future of nothing but pain and an early death. Life is what you make of it. If they leave the farm, they have months to find a new home base and settle in before the baby comes. There are plenty of areas similar to Hershel’s farm, in close proximity to cities with supplies, which they could move into. One has to wonder if she is worrying about her baby or what will happen if Rick entertains the idea that the baby isn’t his. She’d lose her hero, her husband, and the only one she can actually trust to keep her and Carl safe.

Dragged into the middle of Lori’s crisis is poor Glenn. He is trying, he really is, but still has a long way to go to be the hero he wants to become. The first step? Learn how to lie better. I’d play poker against Glenn any day. That lack of being able to hide the ugly truth is, unfortunately, a key tool of a leader. Sometimes you need to keep things from others to keep them calm and manageable. Rick does this often to give his crew the sense of stability they need while recovering from injuries. What Glenn isn’t lacking, though, is nerve. When the one person he really sees as his to protect is in danger, he went all Rambo. I would like to remind everyone that severing the spine does not kill a walker. Headshots, guys. Glenn nearly forgot, but it did make for an interesting zombie effect. After his hero moment, Maggie finally acknowledges what is inside his heart. She also sees how, in his effort to become more, to rise in the pack structure, Glenn could get himself good and dead.

If you paid attention to this episode, you will notice that there is one character with his nose in everything. The writers have taken Dale’s position as the “wise old man” a tad too far. We already knew that not much escapes his attention. Dale isn’t out in the woods, cut off from the core of the action. No, he stays perched on top on the RV simply watching. But it really bugs me that they felt in order to tie up all of these story lines they needed to use Dale so blatantly. He’s there when Carl expresses his desire to grow up more. Dale is the one to confront Hershel about the barn’s occupants. Heck, he even tries to help Lori about her baby issues. And the topper, Dale goes nose to nose with Shane about his erratic behavior after Otis’s death. There are other, less obvious ways to wrap things up for the mid-season finale. We didn’t need Dale to narrate it for us. He’s far too good a character to use like that.

Next week is the last episode we’ll get in 2011. There are still a lot of questions to be answered. Is Sophia still alive? Will Lori abort the pregnancy after all? Is Shane finally at the end of his rope? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.


Duct Tape and the Crazy

Ever wonder why every Brigade Commander has duct tape in their Go Bags? There is a perfectly good reason for it, and if you know the crazy boss lady known as our Commander-in-Chief, and have experienced her in person, then you’ll very likely understand our reasoning behind such drastic measures. By the way, this is the very reason we ration the coffee. While it helps her (and us) to function, too much of it makes the woman insane.

Note: if any of you gives her a 5-hour Energy at any con, you will get knocked out by the Amazon brigade, aka Yellow Brigade or Jinxie G and her crew! With a staff. Those hurt. Just sayin’.

Recently, Michael Rooker—leader of our Special Forces—experienced the crazy that is Juliette Terzieff in Cincinnati, OH. As is typical of any convention, Juliette ran around in circles screaming quite often. We’re thankful she didn’t have the crossbow with her. But let’s face it, folks, she doesn’t need to be in attendance at a convention to run around in circles screaming. Smart man that Michael is, he happened to have a roll of duct tape handy and this is what happened . . .

As you can see, Michael’s fatal mistake was that he didn’t duct tape her to a chair, so she was able to get away. It took us a good long while to track her down and tackle her, whereupon we force-fed her because food always calms her down. Garlic and cheese breadsticks, people! That’s all I’m saying.

Lesson learned: ALWAYS duct tape the boss lady to a chair! And make sure she eats!

To learn more about what Go Bag essentials you should have, check out your brigade Go Bag Essentials here. Find your brigade and locate the article on essentials. You’ll need to be logged in/registered as a member to access this area.

Alright, I’m getting ready to ship off to Boston to catch a plane to Atlanta, and then back to the desert where the temperature isn’t below freezing!

*twirls staff*

Jinxie G


A Zombie Reviews… La Horde

First, before anyone calls foul, I’m an educated zombie. Reading a few subtitles is not beyond my skill set. Don’t act all surprised. I manage to write these reviews, right? Good. Now… on to La Horde (The Horde).

The first few seconds of this film are striking. I’m not saying this to garner favor with our French counterparts. We’re dragged instantly into a world of extreme violence. That scene set a dark, disturbing tone and made it impossible to glance away from the screen. Forget trying to snack during The Horde. My finger sandwiches spoiled because I just couldn’t look away.

The movie puts us smack dab in the midst of a group of corrupt cops hell-bent on revenge. Their anger over the abduction of one of theirs carries the plot despite a noticeable lack of undead action for roughly the first twenty minutes as the cops track down the group of gangsters responsible. Our first taste of real blood and guts is startling, graphic, very real and not at the hands of a zombie. Few movies utilize the ungodly death rattle the dying make. It was music to my ears, or at least the one still attached.

A note on the zombies in The Horde; they are not Romero’s vision of shambling, decomposing corpses. These are freshly dead, revived only seconds after passing. Watch the resurrections, it is clear that an outside source is pulling the strings when we get the first good look at the transformation process. Even I was a tad creeped out. Undead marionettes with huge hungers and quick reflexes… I’m not a spring chicken. They’d beat me in a race for food.

Can zombies starve to death? I shudder to think so.

The characters in this film aren’t likable. At no point did I find myself pulled towards a particular person hoping they’d make it out alive. The cops are a family, but a highly dysfunctional one and the pair of brothers within the group of gangsters are ten times worse. Nevertheless, watching them band together in order to survive is still compelling in a very basic way. The need to escape a deadly situation is all consuming. Before my death I felt that driving need to make it out alive. After, well, it became all about the chase.

I will say, The Horde is a very bloody film. The language would make undead sailors blush. And there are a couple scenes that are really tense and flat-out wrong. My inner lust for gore was sated with this film. That’s saying a lot right there. I also picked up a new favorite kill, as demonstrated by the lone female in the band of survivors. She put that zombie on ice. (Bad pun, yes I know.)

My verdict? If you enjoy the grittier side of zombie flicks, pick up this movie. It feels real. The characters aren’t inaccessible because of some strange moral high ground. They were plucked out of a harsh gang-fueled reality and shoved into a situation where, for an unknown reason, the dead have been brought back and yet the most shocking violence is human against human. The living are worse than the undead. They are conscious of their decision to harm others and still do it. La Horde may not be suitable for everyone, but those it is aimed towards will love it.