The Zombie Survival Crew celebrates the diversity of its troops, boasting members from every walk of life, of all ages, political outlooks, religions and races, in fourteen countries. We even, upon the boss lady’s insistence, have not instituted a “no zombie” policy.
We do, of course, keep a watchful eye on the walkers in our midst but this PSA from Yellow Brigade Second Lieutenant Addy Miller has Command considering letting down our collective guard…just a little.
I recently had the opportunity to conduct a joint mission with Orange Brigade First Lieutenant David Della Rocco. And while he is definitely in possession of a wicked sense of humor, it is the intensity he possesses for completing the task at hand that leaves the most lasting impression.
When the chips are down and the zombies swarming, there’s no doubt David will be found on the front line urging Zombie Survival Crew troops through battle.
As we all make our preparations for the onset of a cataclysmic event David’s left a message for the ZSC faithful.
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Priority Status: HIGH
Dispatcher: Juliette Terzieff
The Chicago Comicon was a bit more than your commander-in-chief expected. Sure we in Zombie Survival Crew command pre-planned for massive crowds, sore feet, lost voices, and puffy bags under our eyes. We even had a strategic operation parameters in place for the zombies we knew would attend.
What I wasn’t prepared for was a battle to the near death with two of my co-Commanders, Blue Brigade leader Norman Reedus and Light Blue Brigade head Anthony Guajardo.
It all started early Saturday morning when I and Yellow Brigade commander Jinxie G noticed a significantly more obvious presence of walkers at the event than we had seen on Friday. We were bombarded at the temporary ZSC command post by groups of people eager to discover any survival tips they could use immediately. Quite a few people said they were ready to fight; a few even had weapons with them.
I calmly explained there was unlikely to be any actual battle inside the convention hall and most people seemed to accept that a bunch of walkers at a Con wasn’t too much of an immediate risk.
That all worked fine until the Zombie Crawl began. Pandemonium erupted as dozens of zombies converged near ZSC command. Their moans were so severe they almost drowned out the screams of everyone else. I tried in vain to explain to panicky humans that the zombies were under careful watch of the convention organizers. I rushed into the crowd of zombies to try and calm everyone down – and that’s when it happened.
I was bit.
Within seconds I found myself under assault from fellow Zombie Survival Crew commanders. Blue Brigade commander Norman Reedus grabbed me in a chokehold – taking care to cover his mouth and not breathe in any germs I might be spreading or inadvertently get hit on the mouth by flying blood specks.
I croaked that the bite had been from a panicked human and NOT a zombie. Norman let me go but stayed right behind me. For a moment I found the thought of his continuing concern to be really sweet, until I spotted Light Blue Brigade commander Anthony Guajardo coming at me with a katana!
I turned to yell at Norman but he was gone. I learned later he had sprinted off to make sure other ZSC commanders were out of harm’s way.
Anthony was already swinging by the time I turned back around. As the blade approached my neck I shouted “I’m not infected!!!” It was just enough to get Anthony to pull the blade to a stop, though he did not actually let his guard down until about three hours later. Instead he followed me around with the darned katana. And believe me, the guys over at Dragonsong Forge who made that beautiful piece of weaponry are going to hear it from me personally very soon.
After I calmed down enough not to want to seriously hurt my fellow commanders, I decided this little experience holds some valuable lessons:
From the Commander-in-Chief
Priority Status: HIGH
Over the last several weeks we at Zombie Survival Crew command have been gathering, sorting and assessing zombie infiltration threats from ZSC loyalists and Commanders around the U.S. and the world.
There have been reports of zombie activity in Vermont, Texas and Illinois.
Confirmed sightings in Florida, Pennsylvania and New Jersey, as well as in Bulgaria and the U.K.
Our bottom line assessment is that the time to act is quickly approaching. With that in mind we prepared the following emergency dispatch PSA to alert Zombie Survival Crew members to the growing danger. But as you’ll see, our communications have been intercepted…several channels compromised. We believe we know who is behind the attack.
Zombie Survival Crew Command urges all members to make personal contact with Command at every opportunity. For those around Chicago next weekend, several senior ZSC commanders including myself, Jinxie G, Anthony Guajardo, Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flanery, David Della Rocco and Addy Miller, will be making appearances at the Wizard World Comicon. If you can beat the horde, please visit the official temporary Zombie Survival Crew command post at the event for a debriefing.
For those of you who are not – we hope you will be able to make personal contact over the coming months and rest assured The Oracle is working purple brigade magic to reestablish secure communications.
Stay tuned ZSC cadres…the danger level is rising.
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Suffice it to say, Spooky Empire’s May-Hem was chalk-full of strangeness for your ZSC commanders. Juliette covered some of it in her debriefing after the event. However while scouring her files for something we came across this, footage of actor Bill Hinzman.
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That name not ring a bell? Then you haven’t been doing your research. Mr. Hinzman was the first zombie on screen in Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. So… why was Juliette talking to a potentially compromised person? We aren’t sure, but he was nice enough to film this clip for us.
Command considers Bill Hinzman a friendly and we thank him for not munching on our fearless leader.
I. Hate. Clowns.
There, I said it. This was not my opinion a couple weeks ago. As a matter of fact, I’d been looking forward to laughing at the Ringling Bros. clowns while waiting to meet with my informant within the circus family. My continued survival requires information. But, seeing as the UGA tracked my travels from Dallas and back in May, I’ve been forced to find outside contacts to bring me information from across the country.
This exposure to new, potentially unreliable sources is what got me in a heap of trouble. And on my birthday of all days!
My contact, an unnamed performer who has been missing since that day, sent me a ticket to the circus along with instructions on where to meet him afterwards. He’d found something while traveling through Colorado he swore was essential for the ZSC to know. However, this something was so sensitive he didn’t trust the phone or Internet to pass it along. His messages, coded of course, made me wary, but I agreed to meet with him face-to-face for the first time. Yeah, yeah… meeting a strange man you’ve only ever talked to via email, not my brightest moment. He’d only ever given me good information, though. I had to take a calculated risk.
Half way through the show I realized that my contact wasn’t performing. No one matching the description he’d emailed made an appearance in any of the three rings on the convention center floor.
By the end of the show, I wanted nothing more than to figure out why he wasn’t out there. I’d adopted him as part of my team and I don’t leave team members behind. So, despite the warning in the back of my head, I made my way to the meet spot. The massive crowd masked my movement and, I hoped, confused anyone trailing me.
It was a trap. The meeting location, tucked between two semi trucks, had been compromised. Instead of my contact, a group of clowns milled around. Some carried lengths of rope. One toyed with a knife, flipping it in the air over and over. When I went to back away from where I’d been spying, someone caught me from behind. They had the element of surprise and far superior numbers. There was no way I’d fight. Not if I wanted to live.
See? Sometimes your commander uses her brain.
They tied me up and shoved me inside one of the trailers hiding us from public view. If you’ve never been locked inside a trailer, it is really dark. Sure, there’s plenty of space and air, but that doesn’t mean a dang thing when you’re bound. Nor does all that air help when the darkness is dense. I may as well have been in a coffin. And that was the point. My captors were trying to rattle me. It only worked for a moment before I kicked myself for being weak.
The next day the circus rolled out of town… with me tagging along. Wasn’t like I had much of a choice. No one came into the trailer aside from those who’d captured me. One of them rode with me to the next city. Occasionally he would try to interrogate me and I feigned deafness from the sound of asphalt racing by under the truck’s tires. From the gist of the conversation, they thought I was responsible for my informant’s disappearance.
Things went from bad to worse when we got to the next city.
Since subtle attempts at interrogation didn’t work, my captors got really inventive with their techniques. Won’t go into what all happened, you all saw the damage in my PSA. But know this: I. Did. Not. Break. The secrets I’ve collected for the ZSC are safe. All I told them was the truth; I don’t know where their comrade went off to. If he is dead, he died with the information he’d gathered for me. The guilt of knowing this eats at me, even now after being dumped in the middle of the desert and forced to find my way back home. If he is alive and set me up to be kidnapped, may the gods help him…
Don’t worry about me. Just need to lick my wounds, then I’m back in action.
~R
Some of you might have noticed that Commander Murphy has been a little quieter than usual lately. In the below video, you’ll see why that is. We kept her missing status quiet because we didn’t want the UGA to hear any rumblings in case they weren’t behind her disappearance. She will brief you on her full experience at a later time, but for now, please listen to her words of advice.
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A special thanks to Commander Murphy for bravely sharing what happens when you trust the wrong informant. We love you, RC.
Be safe, guys.
While in Dallas, we completed a few Super Secret, can’t-tell-anyone, not-even-your-mother missions. And, wouldn’t you know it, we’ve finally be given permission to release one of the major pieces of business conducted that weekend.
Take a moment to sit and listen to Red Brigade’s First Lieutenant, Neil Brown Jr, as he dispenses a very, very important tip for you, the Zombie Survival CrewTM faithful.
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Normally we hate to give any sort of warnings or content advisories on the site. However, we have to make an exception for the following PSA. This video was shot in the midst of the Dallas Comic Con insanity, and I think you can tell that Light Blue Brigade commander Anthony Guajardo was feeling the effects of a hectic weekend. We all promptly felt it after he finished recording. (If you ask Juliette nicely enough, she will show you the video captured after…)
So here’s your warning: Put Down Your Drinks. Do not take a bite of your mid-afternoon snack. And for goodness sake, sit down before clicking play! The Zombie Survival Crew is not responsible for any injuries or water damage to keyboards resulting from viewing this video.
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Priority Status: High
As with most girls, Addy Miller kept her doll close to her while at the Comic Con in Philadelphia. The difference? Addy’s doll was missing part of it’s face…because it was a doll modeled after her part as a zombie in The Walking Dead. As our booth was right next to hers, I was able to keep an eye on for the entire weekend, making sure she was made of the stuff to be a 2nd lieutenant in the Zombie Survival CrewTM. Let me tell you, she may be the youngest to join the command, but Addy Miller is grace under pressure — something necessary in a leader. With creatures like Chewbaca, zombie Hulk, and Zumby (Zombie Gumby) wandering by Addy kept her cool — even when the worst of all… the StayPuft Marshmallow dude, who caused our fearless leader to tremble, didn’t rock our new 2nd lieutenant one iota. And doesn’t she look sweet with her 1st lieutenant, Sean Patrick Flanery?
Zombie Survival Crew please raise your weapons and welcome our newest Second Lieutenant Addy Miller!
