In a continuation of our Member’s Only Monday feature (must be a member to view), we bring you the Blue Brigade.
The easiest way to get nice and dead in the Zombiepocalypse is to wander around lost. The ZSC’s Blue Brigade is here to help you stay alive and intact. Login to the site, or take the opportunity to sign up, and delve into the tactics used by Norman Reedus and his brigade to keep the rest of us on the map.
Warning: Any information herein is CLASSIFIED. Leaking such information about brigades is considered a grave offense and will be dealt with using the pointy end of a crossbow bolt.
I hate when a piece of skin gets caught in my throat! What was I doing? Writing about Doghouse, right. This film came out a few years ago, back when I still breathed. (Really don’t want to go into those days…) Doghouse is focused on a group of guys looking to have a weekend away from the soul-sucking harpies they are dating, divorcing, or married to. I’m not being harsh; these chicks devour men’s spirits like I devour spleens.
The guys take off in a minibus in search of a small village where they hope to do manly things like drink, smoke, and golf. Not bad for a boy’s weekend, honestly. But none of them thought to call ahead and make sure the place hadn’t been taken over by a group of women, ones with an intense craving for male flesh. Whoops! Egg on their face.
You know, I almost miss eating eggs… Sorry. Skipped lunch, he was too fast.
Very quickly the band of macho men realize the village isn’t quite right. Matter of fact, there’s not a soul to be seen when they arrive. Intelligent people might have gotten back on the bus to find another place to party in, but not our group of unlikely heroes. They want to see this thing through to (their) end.
The first of the infected females we meet is a gorgeous blonde in a wedding dress. Too bad she’s married, I say. She’s quite a looker. As a matter of fact, most of the women in the village hold a certain appeal for me. Can’t put my finger on the reason why, though.
Watching the initial attack sequence (and all of the ones after) gave me the munchies. That alone is testament to the detail used in the gore, I’ll tell you. And, oh look. There is a man in fatigues pinned like a butterfly to a fence. Didn’t the folks at the Zombie Survival CrewTM warn about government involvement during the primary stages of the zombie outbreak? Glad no one listened to them.
The movie straddles the line between zombie flick and splat-stick and does it well. Zombies are depicted with intelligence, cunning, and just the right amount of puss. On the flipside, it was difficult to feel bad for some of the men trapped in the village given their total disregard for women. I mean, one resorted to rambling about necrophilia in order to cope with what happened to them. Even I was a little disturbed.
Overall, Doghouse is a very entertaining movie. Excellent performances from the core cast of men and the lead zombie-women. Next time I watch, I’ll be sure to have a snack handy. Preferably gagged so I don’t miss funny bits of dialog.
The approach was unexpected. I was re-sorting gear for the umpteenth time at the Zombie Survival Crew temporary command post at Spooky Empire recently when a voice called out: “Zombie Survival Crew. I need to know about this.”
Now there really isn’t much that will leave your fearless commander-in-chief speechless but when I looked up and saw Ted Raimi standing there my jaw dropped. I did a lightning-fast mental check to regain my senses and sputtered out a greeting.
Over peppermint candies and gum I walked Ted through ZSC command protocols and mission parameters with permagrin he was kind enough not to comment on. I do believe I even stuttered a few times. Nonetheless, Ted accepted a Command mission and assignment on the spot and walked away with ZSC gear to call his own.
Ted’s years of experience fighting demons, the possessed and all manner of the undead gives him a definitive edge against the zombie hordes. He thinks fast but strategically, and has an unnerving store of knowledge about weapons.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but things have been a little hectic around command lately. What with commander RC Murphy being tracked on her recent mission to Dallas, or her recent discovery of the potential Ground Zero for the Zombiepocalypse, and the continual movement of our fearless leader, Juliette Terzieff, as she is traveling around the United States interviewing new recruits and bringing on board new commanders… not to mention her recent encounter with Texas State Law enforcement.. and those are just the tip of the ice berg. Commander Jinxie G has been on the run for months, and has only recently been able to re-establish more regular communications with command. With commanders Norman Reedus, IronE Singleton, and Anthony Guajardo on special missions for the command, that has left the command center a little sparse, and hellaciously busy as we try to capture the various reports flooding into command center so we can make sense of them.
BUT we have also been working on compiling information necessary for the brigades. We are shoring up our security, tightening our defenses against attack, and want to start cluing you, the Zombie Survival Crew faithful, in on some of the more classified information. So command has made a decision to use Monday’s to provide the necessary classified information to the the crew. If you have not registered as a member of the site, you will not have access to the information, which means, come the Zombiepocalypse you will be without vital information necessary for your survival (hint hint).
Red Brigade
You can find the registration link in the sidebar toward the top. Also, if you are not logged in you will not be able to see the classified reports. The login link is also in the sidebar toward the top of the page.
We’re going to kick Members Only Monday off with information about the Red Brigade. What YOU need to know about being a member of the Red Brigade. What makes them tick, what should be in your Go Bag, essentials for survival. To check out the Red Brigade, make sure you’re registered and logged in, and then click the link. Find out why your fearless leader spends a great deal of time running in circles screaming her head off. There is actually a method to the seeming madness.
As you know, our fearless leader, Juliette, has been on the move of late. She’s been trying to stay one step ahead of the UGA, so they can’t slow down the progress of the Zombie Survival CrewTM. Covering ground as she zigzags across the United States, searching for new recruits for the crew, our leader is traveling stocked with ZSC gear and that stock is depleting with each mile.
Then a curious thing happened on Twitter. We sussed out a hashtag of #RedBrigade, where loyalist @Infernal_Racket was showing her brigade pride by posting pictures of herself wearing Zombie Survival CrewTM gear. What fabulous representation of our crew!!! So, we decided we should give EVERY crew member a chance to show how they represent….
Under our newly established Brigade Central, where soon you will find brigade specific information, you’ll see a sub-menu of Brigades Represent and a section for each of the Brigades to house YOU showing your brigade pride. So get your ZSC gear, have pictures taken of you in it, and send it to command [at ] zombiesurvivalcrew ( dot ) com along with a statement that you are giving us permission to post it or post it on Twitter under the #zombiesurvivalcrew hash, and state your brigade with pride. (Oh and if you come to a convention to see us, the boss lady may just take a snap or two… #justsayin) Which brigade will be the best at showing their Zombie Survival CrewTM pride? That’s up to you!!
Special thanks to @Infernal_Racket for showing her pride and posting the pics.
We have a new contest for you and this one involves David Della Rocco!
“What’s the contest, Jinxie?” you may be asking. Well, let me tell you.
We want you to guess the top three (3) items in Rocco’s Go Bag. The person to guess those top three items, or the closest to them, wins Rocco-signed ZSC gear! Easy, right? Only if you know Rocco.
So, use the comment section to place your guesses (one comment entry per person, please) or email Command at command [ at] zombiesurvivalcrew (dot) com and let’s get this contest rolling, Rocco-style, baby! But let’s try to keep the language PG-13, please!
Contest begins June 5, 2011 and will run through to June 20, 2011.
Saturday morning found ZSC Command members gathered round the resort’s Starbucks in search of coffee cups big enough to hold the amount of caffeine we all needed before the Con doors flew open.
And when the doors opened – it sparked a 10-hour onslaught of zombies, demons, bloody priests and people with chainsaws where their hands should have been.
The Walking Dead and Boondock Saints casts were in front of us, Night of the Living Dead to our right, with Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi and Anthony Michael Hall behind us.
Rocco came over to work the Zombie Survival Crew table and lend some extra Command support. Rocco’s move brought Blue Brigade Commander Norman over for a bit. Norman jumped right in and completed a few ZSC Command missions, and got so enthusiastic about it we had to physically stop him at one point.
The Command support of his two Boondock Saints cohorts drew Sean’s attention as well – though it later became apparent Sean has a different take on what ZSC Command structure should ultimately look like. It’s a disconnect I thought we had settled out after the Albuquerque Comicon – but he and I are trying to work it out. Or rather, I’m running from, hoping Sean won’t go jujitsu on me!
Norman, Greg Nicotero, Jon, Steve, Anthony and the rest of The Walking Dead took off mid-afternoon for their panel which many fans later picked as one of the highlights of the weekend. Nicotero thrilled the fans with information about effects and the magic he and his team work on The Walking Dead zombies.
While the gang was gone Lisa and I took the opportunity to scarf down the chicken ZSC loyalist Leigh-Anne procured for lunch, and found ourselves embroiled in impromptu Command strategy sessions with Anthony Michael Hall, Ted Raimi and Michael Kenworthy.
Within an hour all three gentlemen convinced me they were valuable assets to ZSC Command – and I enthusiastically issued rank assignments on the spot.
As the sun began to set, the Con wound down and the after events ramped up. Leigh-Anne volunteered to act as scout and went ahead to scope the VIP party crowd for potential UGA attackers. She immediately felt the eyes of surveillance upon her, but communicated the belief it was safe for Command to enter – as long as we were careful to avoid predator drone attacks.
Norman, Sean, Rocco and Anthony held their own, and ultimately it was Leigh-Anne – our brave volunteer – who suffered the first real loss of the evening when a UGA agent managed to procure her room key. As volunteer keeper of the Communication network she would be repeatedly targeted throughout the evening. We have yet to discern the “why” behind these assaults but can only assume it is an attempt by the UGA to remove Command’s support systems.
We bobbed, weaved and shimmied – and unlike the previous night it was because of the rockin’ music at the poolside party. We even managed to eat at a relatively decent hour. I just wish I could report we actually went to bed at a decent hour. Oh, don’t worry. We all paid the price…
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Sunday
My alarm might as well have had laryngitis for all the good its squeaking did in terms of waking up the living dead (me) that occupied my room Sunday morning. A text message on the other hand seems to have miraculous regenerative powers. Just sayin’.
The call to Anthony and Lisa – to see if they were still among the living – turned into an exchange of moans and groans any zombie would envy. Pretty sure none of us understood what any of the others were saying.
I didn’t quite realize how bad things were until I turned on the light in the bathroom. And I’ll be honest. I screamed. Puffy swollen eyes. Blotchy skin. A general green tone to the skin. For a few heart-pounding moments I feared the UGA had somehow unleashed another assault and infected me. But no. I was thinking, so I couldn’t be a zombie. I think, therefore I am, right?
Phew. Disaster avoided.
Sort of.
Sunday was a blur of monster assaults and UGA probes that seemed to be occurring within a live-action role play of a Marx Brothers routine.
As I attempted to decode an early morning email from Anthony Michael Hall, and Lisa helped Anthony try out a coffin, Leigh-Anne volunteered for a desert mission under extreme conditions. I couldn’t quite believe she still had enough left in the tank to take on a mission of mercy to resupply ZSC command – but she did, and reported back with biscuit sandwiches and coffee.
It was around this time that I ended up with Anthony Michael Hall’s bank card. The scenario that led me to be guarding the card reminded me of an old Danny Kaye movie scene from The Court Jester where he’s trying to remember this tongue-twister: The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true… What? Oh forget it, don’t ask.
On a mission to get something from the ZSC Command vehicle, I opened loading docks doors only to find myself nearly tackled by one Jon Bernthal, who had apparently managed to get stuck outside under the burning Florida sun for some time. Jon did better than Norman, Rocco and I when we all ended up in the Sahara ourselves a little while later.
When Michael Kenworthy decided to don his new ZSC Command tshirt, he changed mid-room without thinking it through – and ended up with people throwing dollars at him. To say he blushed when he realized his mistake would be the understatement of the decade.
Steve played a quick game of ball with The Walking Dead cast mates Chandler Riggs, Adrian Kali Turner and Addy Miller that involved a ninja strike from Norman before he had to take off for his next mission.
As a result of events at Spooky Empire, Zombie Survival Crew, we now have a new standard operating procedure for all future Cons. ZSC cadres are requested to check in with Command as early as possible to set parameters for Command protection and integrity for the duration of the event.
Let me tell you why….
It was apparent pretty early on that Spooky Empire May-Hem was going to live up to its name.
My eventually successful attempt to retrieve Light Blue Brigade Commander Anthony Guajardo and his mother Lisa from the airport involved about 35 minutes of driving around in circles – which, I have to say is vastly less exhausting than running around in circles, but still kind of crazy. Shortly after we got to the resort, Lisa crashed in my room. Within minutes? Anthony crashed. Shortly thereafter yours truly was dreaming about sugar plum fairies.
When we awoke – now hopelessly late for set up and early meetings – we immediately discussed the possibility that the Unnamed Government Agency had somehow infiltrated the event and put us all out for reasons we probably wouldn’t want to guess.
Set up involved a crazy mad dash into the celebrity signing room where we would spend the weekend recruiting new members as personalities from The Walking Dead, Boondock Saints, Night of the Living Dead and Evil Dead thrilled the fans.
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ZSC loyalist @buttrscotchboom (a.k.a. Leigh-Anne) showed up shortly after the event opened and adopted a defensive position to assist Command. And she got there just in time – as I was soon to fall victim to a gruesome attack by Bill Hinzman, better known as Zombie #1 from George Romero’s masterpiece Night of the Living Dead. I did manage to escape with an assist from Leigh-Anne and Lisa only to discover that Anthony was passed out on the ZSC table. We revived him – debriefed around the assault that left him incapacitated – and proceeded to scour the room for potential UGA moles.
By the time Norman arrived on the scene we were in full defensive deployment mode. We – with our allies from the Dixon’s Vixens – informed Blue Brigade Commander of the multiple attempted attacks just as a predator drone strike took aim at Norman. He was able to escape but inadvertently left Rocco in the line of fire. We bobbed. We weaved. We even retreated at one point to try and regroup. The UGA was relentless. I left Rocco and Anthony with armed guards Leigh-Anne and Lisa and ventured – at 3 a.m. – to find us some food to keep up our strength.
The food resupply was just what we needed to help us strategize – we crafted code words, evac plans and communications to aid us in predator evasion and keeping Command intact for the weekend.
With that, we were ready to face the hordes. Or so we thought ….
In a continuation of our Member’s Only Monday feature (must be a member to view), we bring you the Blue Brigade.
