Sometimes you just have to pack up your bags and run away to join the circus. But, seeing as I have a new-found fear of clowns thanks to my little incident in July, I decided to run away to join the crew at a haunted house instead.
The Grove boasts over 20 acres of fright-filled fun… and delivers on that hands down. Screams, shrieks, and yelps can be hear throughout the property’s three main haunted attractions: The Hollows haunted forest, Shadows Keep haunted hayride, and Bad Manor haunted house. In addition, the owners have added a few new twists and turns in the form of a ghoulish theatre troupe performing on the fire-lit midway, and the newest attraction opening this week; a zombie shooting gallery.
Visions of Land of the Dead type mischief danced in my head as I sat down with Tanamin Clark, one of the managers at The Grove, to get the scoop on what exactly would happen in their zombie shooting gallery.
For a few years the folks at The Grove have been toying with the shooting gallery idea after seeing something similar at another haunted house. “It looked like a lot of fun,” he commented. With that basic premise, they ran with it, trying out various ideas. One scenario had patrons racing to “kill” the zombies before they reached a bell in order to win, but in the end Tanamin and his crew realized the fun didn’t come in winning anything, but in simply shooting zombies.
I’ve got to agree with him there.
So how exactly are they bringing the zombie shooting gallery to life? Actors will be dressed in padded costumes, helmets, and masks designed to imitate the ravenous undead. The Grove will provide the paintball guns and patrons may purchase anywhere from 10 to 20 paintballs. The zombies are trained to attack patrons as they shoot away. We discussed for a long while how this sort of attraction tied in perfectly to the current zombie trend in popular video games. Who wouldn’t want to take the fantasy and make it reality for a little while? After all, that’s what we here at the Zombie Survival Crew are preparing for. It’s great target practice.
For now, they are starting with a small number of zombies and minimal equipment. However, the managers fully expect to expand on the shooting gallery, probably before the last weekend of the month, the busiest days out at The Grove.
Come on out, test your skill in the zombie shooting gallery. And if you’re brave enough, come find me inside the haunted house. Unlike the zombies, I won’t bite… maybe.
October’s bony knuckles are rapping on our front door. Hundreds of thousands of people will be lining up, eager to have the wits scared out of them at local haunted houses. TV stations are running horror movie marathons designed to make sure you lose sleep at night.
And the Zombie Survival Crew has a few events in store for its members to make sure that y’all are ready to face your fears.
Don’t miss the chance to meet your ZSC commanders face-to-face in Florida:
Halloween weekend we have not one, but two events for crew members to participate in. We fully encourage your to gear up and take place in the 2011 Halloween Zombie Event, a live-action scenario where you can chose between playing a zombie or a survivor. This is the perfect opportunity to test your skills in a safe manner before the Zombiepocalypse catches you unprepared. Go to their website to find a participating city near you.
For crew members unable to make it to the live-action 2011 Halloween Zombie Event, don’t worry. Commanders LK and RC have been wracking their brains (mmm… brains…) and developed an online version of the event. For more information, read here and keep an eye on this site for rules, regulations, and suggested role-play strategies for the online 2011 Halloween Zombie Apocalypse.
You don’t need to carry your whole life with you. This is a short jaunt and you’ll be back in time to leave in your beloved truck for the next mission. Keep the truck packed and only bring essentials. Commercial airlines DO weigh luggage.
While it may pain you to leave it behind, it is best to remain circumspect with the airlines because the government is controlling the baggage, so leave the trusted crossbow at home.
You are not in control of the itinerary. The airline has commissioned pilots and they give the directions to the pilots. In fact, if you attempt to storm the cockpit to issue instructions, airplane security will detain you.
The other people on the plane are not all UGA plants (although I’m sure there will be one or two, so watch your back). Do not respond with any guerrilla warfare tactics learned from Neil Brown, Jr. if someone attempts to engage you in conversation.
Texting and calling is forbidden while in flight. This is non-negotiable. The rest of the commanders and I have taken up a collection to ensure that the regulation remains that way. It is the only time within the year where we can be certain of lack of communication from you. We’re all going to take a nap… after ensuring command is manned appropriately.
You will be involved in some social situations during your mission:
When someone reaches for you with open arms, do not run screaming the other way. They are trying to give you a hug, not chew your face off.
It is best not to enter the room throwing orders left and right to bystanders as you trundle through the crowd.
It is generally frowned upon in a social situation to run screaming in circles. If you feel the need, please excuse yourself and find an empty alley or bathroom (with lots of carpet to deaden the sound) to carry out this activity.
Smile and nod — this works in all situations.
Hopefully the chief will be able to remember these 7 simple rules… Otherwise, the next memo from the Command Center may be about taking up a collection for bail.
I told y’all the zombiepocalypse was coming soon! Now we have zombies living every day normal lives in music videos! *twitches*
My friend Jimmy Joyce and I have spent a few nights talking until sunrise because he’s cool like that, and it usually happens after a show I’ve gone to watch. We all know Jinxie is nocturnal, but hey, that’s when the zombies are active, people. Jimmy is in a few bands, and I mean like four or five…or I could just be thinking of Michael Mahoney’s multiple-band status, but whatever. The two of them are in Money Shot together, which is the cover band I tend to see.
Terrible People is one of Jimmy’s other bands, and I thought I’d share this awesome video with you. This is their song “Bill Murray” and it’s pretty damn good, if you ask me.
And for all you zombies out there? You even have your own Facebook-type site to mingle on, which you saw in the video. Zombiebook.org. Check it out. It’s run by Jay Zombie. Of course I’m a member. Someone has to keep an eye on the zombies over there!
I seem to have stumbled into a cesspit of teen horror flicks. However, while wading through the muck one film caught my eye: Boy Eats Girl (2005). It held just enough “different” elements from the other movies on the list to catch my interest. And, lets be honest, it’s hard to keep a zombie’s attention what with ravenous hunger pains driving us to keep moving.
The first major difference to set Boy Eats Girl away from most teen horror movies is the fact that it was filmed in Ireland. It isn’t often I even hear of a film coming out of the country, let alone one capable of biting and holding on. The second difference to set the film apart? Voodoo. The use of Voodoo in zombie movies went out of vogue a long time ago. Most filmmakers resort to biological warfare or a “Romero” take to zombie creation, and while these are still entertaining, zombie flicks originated with voodoo. It’s nice to see filmmakers digging back to the origin of a genre.
We meet our band of slightly heroic teenagers doing ordinary teenage things, most notably preparing for the end of school disco and coping with the idea of forming new relationships under the watchful eye of some rather strict parents. Think of it like Romeo & Juliet. Actually, the build up to the zombie bits are straight up influenced by the Bard with an equally tragic end for one of the characters. Distraught over her son’s choice, his mother uses a Voodoo text to bring him back to life. Only the book had been damaged. Her spell, partially completed, didn’t resurrect him, but brought him back as a zombie. Whoops!
Parents, magic is never the answer when learning how to cope with the loss of your child. Please observe safe magical practices. (The more you know…)
After this point the Voodoo portion of things is murky and the spell is passed on via the main character biting a classmate, who just happens to be a right jerk and deserved what he got. There are a few characters in this film that will make you to cheer when their fate is decided. This is in part to the script. Though I did find a few flaws with the way things were written. At one point it felt like they forgot the magic element and decided to go the gory, Saw route.
Despite that, don’t think the gore wasn’t entertaining. If anything, stick through to the end to see the most horrific use of a tractor this zombie has ever witnessed.
I’m going to give Boy Eats Girl 3 ½ bites out of five. If some of the characters had been utilized better (what was up with the priest guy?), it’d be a solid 4, maybe even a 4 ½. Watch this flick for a fun, teen zombie movie and to get a dose of blood and guts. Don’t watch expecting any in-depth look into how humanity works during the Zombiepocalypse. Some movies are just for the fun of it.
The Chicago Comicon was a bit more than your commander-in-chief expected. Sure we in Zombie Survival Crew command pre-planned for massive crowds, sore feet, lost voices, and puffy bags under our eyes. We even had a strategic operation parameters in place for the zombies we knew would attend.
What I wasn’t prepared for was a battle to the near death with two of my co-Commanders, Blue Brigade leader Norman Reedus and Light Blue Brigade head Anthony Guajardo.
It all started early Saturday morning when I and Yellow Brigade commander Jinxie G noticed a significantly more obvious presence of walkers at the event than we had seen on Friday. We were bombarded at the temporary ZSC command post by groups of people eager to discover any survival tips they could use immediately. Quite a few people said they were ready to fight; a few even had weapons with them.
I calmly explained there was unlikely to be any actual battle inside the convention hall and most people seemed to accept that a bunch of walkers at a Con wasn’t too much of an immediate risk.
That all worked fine until the Zombie Crawl began. Pandemonium erupted as dozens of zombies converged near ZSC command. Their moans were so severe they almost drowned out the screams of everyone else. I tried in vain to explain to panicky humans that the zombies were under careful watch of the convention organizers. I rushed into the crowd of zombies to try and calm everyone down – and that’s when it happened.
I was bit.
Within seconds I found myself under assault from fellow Zombie Survival Crew commanders. Blue Brigade commander Norman Reedus grabbed me in a chokehold – taking care to cover his mouth and not breathe in any germs I might be spreading or inadvertently get hit on the mouth by flying blood specks.
I croaked that the bite had been from a panicked human and NOT a zombie. Norman let me go but stayed right behind me. For a moment I found the thought of his continuing concern to be really sweet, until I spotted Light Blue Brigade commander Anthony Guajardo coming at me with a katana!
I turned to yell at Norman but he was gone. I learned later he had sprinted off to make sure other ZSC commanders were out of harm’s way.
Anthony was already swinging by the time I turned back around. As the blade approached my neck I shouted “I’m not infected!!!” It was just enough to get Anthony to pull the blade to a stop, though he did not actually let his guard down until about three hours later. Instead he followed me around with the darned katana. And believe me, the guys over at Dragonsong Forge who made that beautiful piece of weaponry are going to hear it from me personally very soon.
After I calmed down enough not to want to seriously hurt my fellow commanders, I decided this little experience holds some valuable lessons:
Panic is the enemy and ZSC members should avoid entering a mob even if those they care about are inside it. You’re better served prowling the edges and picking off walkers, or hightailing it out of the area.
Stick to the plan. ZSC members have their own individual survival plans, and the official ZSC escape planning we’re revealing shortly on the site to help guide them. Yes the unexpected will crop up and you’ll have to deal with it best you can, but having a plan in place can save your life.
Sometimes a pause can save a life. If Norman and Anthony had not given me those few seconds to explain, well, I wouldn’t be writing right now. I’m not 100% sure I’d recommend it in the heat of battle, but I sure am grateful.
Help when you can but be cognizant of the risks. The ZSC firmly believes we fight together or die alone. Working together also means defending one another, and that could someday cost you your life.
Over the last several weeks we at Zombie Survival Crew command have been gathering, sorting and assessing zombie infiltration threats from ZSC loyalists and Commanders around the U.S. and the world.
There have been reports of zombie activity in Vermont, Texas and Illinois.
Confirmed sightings in Florida, Pennsylvania and New Jersey, as well as in Bulgaria and the U.K.
Our bottom line assessment is that the time to act is quickly approaching. With that in mind we prepared the following emergency dispatch PSA to alert Zombie Survival Crew members to the growing danger. But as you’ll see, our communications have been intercepted…several channels compromised. We believe we know who is behind the attack.
Zombie Survival Crew Command urges all members to make personal contact with Command at every opportunity. For those around Chicago next weekend, several senior ZSC commanders including myself, Jinxie G, Anthony Guajardo, Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flanery, David Della Rocco and Addy Miller, will be making appearances at the Wizard World Comicon. If you can beat the horde, please visit the official temporary Zombie Survival Crew command post at the event for a debriefing.
For those of you who are not – we hope you will be able to make personal contact over the coming months and rest assured The Oracle is working purple brigade magic to reestablish secure communications.
Want to know just how strong IronE Singleton and his Green Brigade are? What keeps them moving forward with a host of undead horde on their heels? What they carry in their Go Bags?
Login to the site, or take the chance to sign up, and you will learn what it takes to be in the Green Brigade.
Warning: The information herein is Top Secret and NOT to fall into the hands of the UGA.
You’ve been a good crewmember, done all of the necessary prep work. Your go bag is packed and next to the front door. A map with various escape routes and possible safe havens is sitting nearby. Your trusty shotgun is cleaned, loaded, and standing by. Heck, you’ve even taken up jogging to make sure you can outrun the zombies when the time comes. But I fear even some of your die-hard and supremely prepared ZSC commanders have forgotten a key component to survival in the Zombiepocalypse…
Vehicles.
All the jogging in the world will not sustain you in the long run after the zombies take over. Feet can only get you so far. What if you find yourself trapped in a large city when the disease begins to spread throughout the population? Within days the undead to living ratio will be completely skewed, and not in the survivor’s favor. At that point the only option is to flee heavily populated areas for rural outposts.
Choosing a vehicle is much like choosing what items to include in your go bag or what weapon to use an extension of your arm. It is important to keep in mind personal comfort as well as utility. Obviously a family isn’t going to be able to travel and pack enough supplies into a Volkswagen Bug. Likewise, single people would make a huge target of themselves by traveling in a motor home, or something that massive in scale.
We should take a moment to note that if you do plan to relocate during the Zombiepocalypse, you need to do so within the first weeks. Gas supplies will likely run out quickly and it is doubtful that fuel tankers will be making a trip to your local station to top off the tanks while walkers are trying to gnaw on their arms. You can give yourself a buffer of sorts by storing gasoline in a safe place, but only by days, maybe. There are simply too many variables at play during times of crisis. Even the best-laid plans can go awry. Plan on traveling as early into the crisis as possible to ensure you have enough gas to get to your destination, with enough left in the tank to move in case of an emergency.
Back to vehicle choices… Sports Utility Vehicles (SUVs) are ideal for our purposes. Generally SUVs have plenty of storage space and adequate seating for a family. A small family could even sleep inside, however we do not encourage making this arrangement permanent. There is enough sound dampening inside an SUV (or any car, really) to rob you of the ability to hear the undead closing in. Sleeping inside your vehicle should only be done in an emergency and in an area you’ve scouted and found free of zombies.
Mini vans, despite their bad rep as an ego killer, offer a little more space to sit in. They are tight on storage space, though. We do not recommend tying anything to the roof of your vehicle to make up for this lack of space. It is too easy dragged off if you find yourself surrounded by walkers. You are also left vulnerable while awkwardly balanced on the tire of your car and rooting around to get what you need. Make sure everything you plan to take fits inside with you.
Pickup trucks, while seemingly perfect for survival, are actually a huge liability. The cab space will only accommodate maybe three people comfortably and all of your supplies are out of reach. In order to get to anything you have to step outside of the safety of your vehicle. Not ideal unless you are traveling a short distance and have a safe haven to store all of your stuff in as soon as you get there. We suggest avoiding trucks if possible.
Is there a perfect vehicle for surviving the Zombiepocalypse as a nomad? You bet your Aunt Fanny! Unfortunately, it only exists on film. Dead Reckoning (as seen in Romero’s Land of the Dead) was made to barrel through zombie hoards. She’s equipped with enough guns to make even us jealous, is fully armored, and comes with a system to shoot off fireworks. Fireworks? In Romero’s films the zombies are so simple-minded that fireworks keep them completely distracted and unaware of what was driving past. A big vehicle like Dead Reckoning can sneak by without so much as a snarl. It became very useful when time came to head out to collect supplies.
Would it be great to have a vehicle like Reckoning? Totally. Reasonable? Only slightly. If there were a large city to help maintain, then the answer would easily be yes. But you become sitting ducks gathering together in one place. The sounds, smells, and lights from the people in the city would draw the attention of the undead eventually. It is better to be alone or in a small group than stuck in a large population of people who are a zombie horde waiting to happen.
So take a moment while you are planning your escape routes and decide on a vehicle that will best suit your purposes. Once you’ve decided, head over to GetFanged.com. The ZSC has started a discussion over there about which car you think would be key to surviving the Zombiepocalypse.
Your command takes great pleasure in finding sources of information about walkers to add to our knowledge base. The more we know, the better we’ll be equipped to fight come the zombieapocalypse. This feature is brought to us by writer Heather McCorkle and though a work of fiction, it provides an interesting insight to the zombie psyche. Important stuff for us to know.
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Welcome to the hive. I’d say it’s a pleasure to have you but competition for food isn’t exactly a good thing. As long as you contribute meat as often as you can you’ll be allowed to stay. We run in packs not because there are so many of us, but because it makes it easier to hunt. Bet you didn’t know that. Everyone thinks there are an insurmountable number of us because that’s what we want them to think. Frightened prey are easier to run down.
I’m not what you expected I know. Newcomers are always surprised. Everyone paints us to be these mindless creatures that do nothing but eat. We aren’t like that at all. We’ve evolved. Now we’re one of the most dangerous predators on the planet, dangerous enough even to challenge humans.
If you eat enough fresh meat your body won’t decay as much so feed as often as you can. The more you eat the stronger and faster you’ll be. Brains have the most regenerative power but be sure to save a portion of those for the hive queen. It is all she eats and we must keep her well fed. Come then, let’s go hunting. All this talk of meat has made me hungry.
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A big Thank You!! to Heather for allowing us to cross post her piece. Stop by her blog, Heather’s Odyssey or catch her on Twitter (@HeatherMcCorkle).
Sometimes you just have to pack up your bags and run away to join the circus. But, seeing as I have a new-found fear of clowns thanks to my little incident in July, I decided to run away to join the crew at a haunted house instead.
Visions of Land of the Dead type mischief danced in my head as I sat down with Tanamin Clark, one of the managers at The Grove, to get the scoop on what exactly would happen in their zombie shooting gallery.
So how exactly are they bringing the zombie shooting gallery to life? Actors will be dressed in padded costumes, helmets, and masks designed to imitate the ravenous undead. The Grove will provide the paintball guns and patrons may purchase anywhere from 10 to 20 paintballs. The zombies are trained to attack patrons as they shoot away. We discussed for a long while how this sort of attraction tied in perfectly to the current zombie trend in popular video games. Who wouldn’t want to take the fantasy and make it reality for a little while? After all, that’s what we here at the Zombie Survival Crew are preparing for. It’s great target practice.
