Ever wonder why every Brigade Commander has duct tape in their Go Bags? There is a perfectly good reason for it, and if you know the crazy boss lady known as our Commander-in-Chief, and have experienced her in person, then you’ll very likely understand our reasoning behind such drastic measures. By the way, this is the very reason we ration the coffee. While it helps her (and us) to function, too much of it makes the woman insane.
Note:if any of you gives her a 5-hour Energy at any con, you will get knocked out by the Amazon brigade, aka Yellow Brigade or Jinxie G and her crew! With a staff. Those hurt. Just sayin’.
Recently, Michael Rooker—leader of our Special Forces—experienced the crazy that is Juliette Terzieff in Cincinnati, OH. As is typical of any convention, Juliette ran around in circles screaming quite often. We’re thankful she didn’t have the crossbow with her. But let’s face it, folks, she doesn’t need to be in attendance at a convention to run around in circles screaming. Smart man that Michael is, he happened to have a roll of duct tape handy and this is what happened . . .
As you can see, Michael’s fatal mistake was that he didn’t duct tape her to a chair, so she was able to get away. It took us a good long while to track her down and tackle her, whereupon we force-fed her because food always calms her down. Garlic and cheese breadsticks, people! That’s all I’m saying.
Lesson learned: ALWAYS duct tape the boss lady to a chair! And make sure she eats!
To learn more about what Go Bag essentials you should have, check out your brigade Go Bag Essentials here. Find your brigade and locate the article on essentials. You’ll need to be logged in/registered as a member to access this area.
Alright, I’m getting ready to ship off to Boston to catch a plane to Atlanta, and then back to the desert where the temperature isn’t below freezing!
Somehow, someway, you’ve found yourself neck deep in the Zombie Survival Crew website. Don’t worry, this is a good thing. Whether you wandered in off the street after meeting us at a convention, or had a well-meaning friend slip the link onto your Twitter/Facebook page, you are welcome and encouraged to participate and browse around the site.
You may be asking yourself, why do I need to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse? We ask, why aren’t you already? The survival skills imparted on this website will not only help you escape being eaten by a reanimated corpse, but also ensure you are capable of surviving any number of natural or man-made disasters such as flooding, tornadoes, or even a full-scale riot in your home town. You can never be too prepared, a motto we take to heart.
There is a softer, though far from cuddly side to the ZSC. When we aren’t scouring the globe for new recruits, your commanders let their hair down and get to know site members better. We introduce fans of the zombie, horror, and sci-fi genres to movies, television shows, and art they may not have been aware of before. There are also numerous contest opportunities coming up in the near future. (Our prize room is getting somewhat cluttered…)
The ZSC also does it part to help those in need when disaster DOES strike. When we can, we help our celebrity commanders pass on information and aid relief efforts the world-over.
So how do you become an official member of the Zombie Survival Crew? Our registration page is easy, straight forward, and FREE. Once you’ve signed up and confirmed via email, you will be randomly slated into one of our Brigades. Each brigade has a commander and a certain set of skills they are to master in order to help the ZSC as a whole continue to move forward with our efforts. From there on out, how much you want to participate is purely up to you. If you wish to sit back and absorb information posted by the command team, go for it. Feel like you have something to say? We encourage members post their thoughts on the articles posted. Or, if you are an artist, writer, or filmmaker, we’d like for you to contribute articles, stories, art, or videos.
Get it? Got it? If not, feel free to ask us whatever questions you have about the site. We don’t bite, honest! The Command team is here not only to teach you how to survive, but to help you.
Yellow Brigade Commander Jinxie G has a special promotion over on her website starting today, and it’s all about raising awareness for breast cancer!
As a Zombie Survival Crew Commander, and the crew’s top Amazon, Jinxie is very dedicated to this cause because it has affected more than a few of the women in her family, as well as friends and their families. For the entire month of October, she will be making her survival bracelets in pink & black and pink & white, with all proceeds going to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®.
Just look at these beauties. You know you want one!
If you would like to order one of these special survival bracelets, please head on over to her website Jinxie’s World and place your order. Not only does she have a post up on her blog today, which we urge you to read, but there is also a page dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness.
In addition to the survival bracelets, Jinxie is also donating all proceeds from the October sales of her most recent book NEMESIS to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®.
Nemesis, from Running Ink Press, is marked at the special price of $1.99 for all of October. Available in KINDLE, PDF, RTF, HTML, LRF, PALM DOC, AND PLAIN TEXT ON SMASHWORDS, & BARNES & NOBLE and KINDLE format on AMAZON & AMAZON UK & AMAZON DE.
Upon returning from Chicago, Yellow Brigade Commander Jinxie G not only got stuck in Chicago’s O’Hare airport, but it seems that the UGA may have been behind it. After dodging, ducking, and turning corners to get away from them, she’s made it back to her hometown, but not without consequences.
Here, she’s checking in to let us know she’s okay, but it’s clear that the UGA is more present now than ever.
And just like Jinxie says, that means the zombiepocalypse is ever closer.
Yes, this is really real and I can’t believe we found it! A zombie-proof house. Oh, yeah!
Let’s check this place out because holy crap, we have pictures!
This house is called “The Safe House,” designed by KWK Promes. After the CDC released their zombie apocalypse post Preparedness 101, I’d say we really need to take a look at this.
There’s a fortified fence around this incredible home. All the better to keep zombies off your property, unless we’re dealing with those zombies from Resident Evil: Afterlife, and man, would that ever suck. But look at how locked up tight that baby is!
I’d say the fence should be a bit higher, but this house is pretty close to the fortress type house I spoke of in my Yellow Brigade post. I do not, however, see a moat.
This must be remedied. Also, it is paramount that fresh water be available and I certainly don’t see anything pertaining to it, but perhaps that’s just not showing up in the photos. If it had it’s own underground spring, that’d be awesome. I know of a place like that in Arizona, and you betcha, that’s where I’ll be heading first when all hell breaks loose.
Take a 360 look at this most awesome zombie-proof house. If you click on the photos, they should enlarge. Then just hit your browser’s ‘back’ button to get back to the post.
That’s right, that is absolutely a drawbridge that you see in the fourth photo and it’s the only way to get inside the house once it’s locked down. THE ONLY WAY. Now let’s take a look inside, shall we?
And a few more shots of the outside, but all opened up.
Nice, huh?
Indoor swimming pool too? *gasps* Alright, so who has the land where we can build this baby?
The Chicago Comicon was a bit more than your commander-in-chief expected. Sure we in Zombie Survival Crew command pre-planned for massive crowds, sore feet, lost voices, and puffy bags under our eyes. We even had a strategic operation parameters in place for the zombies we knew would attend.
What I wasn’t prepared for was a battle to the near death with two of my co-Commanders, Blue Brigade leader Norman Reedus and Light Blue Brigade head Anthony Guajardo.
It all started early Saturday morning when I and Yellow Brigade commander Jinxie G noticed a significantly more obvious presence of walkers at the event than we had seen on Friday. We were bombarded at the temporary ZSC command post by groups of people eager to discover any survival tips they could use immediately. Quite a few people said they were ready to fight; a few even had weapons with them.
I calmly explained there was unlikely to be any actual battle inside the convention hall and most people seemed to accept that a bunch of walkers at a Con wasn’t too much of an immediate risk.
That all worked fine until the Zombie Crawl began. Pandemonium erupted as dozens of zombies converged near ZSC command. Their moans were so severe they almost drowned out the screams of everyone else. I tried in vain to explain to panicky humans that the zombies were under careful watch of the convention organizers. I rushed into the crowd of zombies to try and calm everyone down – and that’s when it happened.
I was bit.
Within seconds I found myself under assault from fellow Zombie Survival Crew commanders. Blue Brigade commander Norman Reedus grabbed me in a chokehold – taking care to cover his mouth and not breathe in any germs I might be spreading or inadvertently get hit on the mouth by flying blood specks.
I croaked that the bite had been from a panicked human and NOT a zombie. Norman let me go but stayed right behind me. For a moment I found the thought of his continuing concern to be really sweet, until I spotted Light Blue Brigade commander Anthony Guajardo coming at me with a katana!
I turned to yell at Norman but he was gone. I learned later he had sprinted off to make sure other ZSC commanders were out of harm’s way.
Anthony was already swinging by the time I turned back around. As the blade approached my neck I shouted “I’m not infected!!!” It was just enough to get Anthony to pull the blade to a stop, though he did not actually let his guard down until about three hours later. Instead he followed me around with the darned katana. And believe me, the guys over at Dragonsong Forge who made that beautiful piece of weaponry are going to hear it from me personally very soon.
After I calmed down enough not to want to seriously hurt my fellow commanders, I decided this little experience holds some valuable lessons:
Panic is the enemy and ZSC members should avoid entering a mob even if those they care about are inside it. You’re better served prowling the edges and picking off walkers, or hightailing it out of the area.
Stick to the plan. ZSC members have their own individual survival plans, and the official ZSC escape planning we’re revealing shortly on the site to help guide them. Yes the unexpected will crop up and you’ll have to deal with it best you can, but having a plan in place can save your life.
Sometimes a pause can save a life. If Norman and Anthony had not given me those few seconds to explain, well, I wouldn’t be writing right now. I’m not 100% sure I’d recommend it in the heat of battle, but I sure am grateful.
Help when you can but be cognizant of the risks. The ZSC firmly believes we fight together or die alone. Working together also means defending one another, and that could someday cost you your life.
Over the last several weeks we at Zombie Survival Crew command have been gathering, sorting and assessing zombie infiltration threats from ZSC loyalists and Commanders around the U.S. and the world.
There have been reports of zombie activity in Vermont, Texas and Illinois.
Confirmed sightings in Florida, Pennsylvania and New Jersey, as well as in Bulgaria and the U.K.
Our bottom line assessment is that the time to act is quickly approaching. With that in mind we prepared the following emergency dispatch PSA to alert Zombie Survival Crew members to the growing danger. But as you’ll see, our communications have been intercepted…several channels compromised. We believe we know who is behind the attack.
Zombie Survival Crew Command urges all members to make personal contact with Command at every opportunity. For those around Chicago next weekend, several senior ZSC commanders including myself, Jinxie G, Anthony Guajardo, Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flanery, David Della Rocco and Addy Miller, will be making appearances at the Wizard World Comicon. If you can beat the horde, please visit the official temporary Zombie Survival Crew command post at the event for a debriefing.
For those of you who are not – we hope you will be able to make personal contact over the coming months and rest assured The Oracle is working purple brigade magic to reestablish secure communications.
Want to know just what the Yellow Brigade is all about and how they operate? Login to the site for the down-lo on Commander Jinxie G and the Yellow Brigade’s survival secrets for when the Zombiepocalypse hits.
All information herein is CLASSIFIED and as you’ll see, Jinxie G and her Yellow Brigade compadres will punish accordingly for any leaks, especially to the UGA, which Jinxie has been hiding from for the last fifteen months.
